Categoria: English

Part A

Zen and the Art of the Internet

Copyright (c) 1992 Brendan P. Kehoe

Permission is granted to make and distribute verbatim copies of this
guide provided the copyright notice and this permission notice are
preserved on all copies.

Permission is granted to copy and distribute modified versions of
this booklet under the conditions for verbatim copying, provided that
the entire resulting derived work is distributed under the terms of a
permission notice identical to this one.

Permission is granted to copy and distribute translations of this
booklet into another language, under the above conditions for
modified versions, except that this permission notice may be stated
in a translation approved by the author.

Zen and the Art of the Internet
A Beginner's Guide to the Internet
First Edition
January 1992

by Brendan P. Kehoe

This is revision 1.0 of February 2, 1992.
Copyright (c) 1992 Brendan P. Kehoe

The composition of this booklet was originally started because the
Computer Science department at Widener University was in desperate
need of documentation describing the capabilities of this "great new
Internet link" we obtained.

It's since grown into an effort to acquaint the reader with much of
what's currently available over the Internet. Aimed at the novice
user, it attempts to remain operating system "neutral"—little
information herein is specific to Unix, VMS, or any other
environment. This booklet will, hopefully, be usable by nearly
anyone.

A user's session is usually offset from the rest of the paragraph, as
such:

prompt> command
The results are usually displayed here.

The purpose of this booklet is two-fold: first, it's intended to
serve as a reference piece, which someone can easily grab on the fly
and look something up. Also, it forms a foundation from which people
can explore the vast expanse of the Internet. Zen and the Art of the
Internet doesn't spend a significant amount of time on any one point;
rather, it provides enough for people to learn the specifics of what
his or her local system offers.

One warning is perhaps in order—this territory we are entering can
become a fantastic time-sink. Hours can slip by, people can come and
go, and you'll be locked into Cyberspace. Remember to do your work!

With that, I welcome you, the new user, to The Net.

brendan@cs.widener.edu
Chester, PA

Acknowledgements

Certain sections in this booklet are not my original work—rather,
they are derived from documents that were available on the Internet
and already aptly stated their areas of concentration. The chapter
on Usenet is, in large part, made up of what's posted monthly to
news.announce.newusers, with some editing and rewriting. Also, the
main section on archie was derived from whatis.archie by Peter
Deutsch of the McGill University Computing Centre. It's available
via anonymous FTP from archie.mcgill.ca. Much of what's in the
telnet section came from an impressive introductory document put
together by SuraNet. Some definitions in the one are from an
excellent glossary put together by Colorado State University.

This guide would not be the same without the aid of many people on The
Net, and the providers of resources that are already out there. I'd
like to thank the folks who gave this a read-through and returned some
excellent comments, suggestions, and criticisms, and those who
provided much-needed information on the fly. Glee Willis deserves
particular mention for all of his work; this guide would have been
considerably less polished without his help.

Andy Blankenbiller <rablanke@crdec7.apgea.army.mil>
Andy Blankenbiller, Army at Aberdeen

bajan@cs.mcgill.ca
Alan Emtage, McGill University Computer Science Department

Brian Fitzgerald <fitz@mml0.meche.rpi.edu>
Brian Fitzgerald, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute

John Goetsch <ccjg@hippo.ru.ac.za>
John Goetsch, Rhodes University, South Africa

composer@chem.bu.edu
Jeff Kellem, Boston University's Chemistry Department

kraussW@moravian.edu
Bill Krauss, Moravian College

Steve Lodin <deaes!swlodin@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu>
Steve Lodin, Delco Electronics

Mike Nesel <nesel@elxsi.dfrf.nasa.gov>
Mike Nesel, NASA

Bob <neveln@cs.widener.edu>
Bob Neveln, Widener University Computer Science Department

wamapi@dunkin.cc.mcgill.ca (Wanda Pierce)
Wanda Pierce, McGill University Computing Centre

Joshua.R.Poulson@cyber.widener.edu
Joshua Poulson, Widener University Computing Services

de5@ornl.gov
Dave Sill, Oak Ridge National Laboratory

bsmart@bsmart.tti.com
Bob Smart, CitiCorp/TTI

emv@msen.com
Ed Vielmetti, Vice President of MSEN

Craig E. Ward <cew@venera.isi.edu>
Craig Ward, USC/Information Sciences Institute (ISI)

Glee Willis <willis@unssun.nevada.edu>
Glee Willis, University of Nevada, Reno

Charles Yamasaki <chip@oshcomm.osha.gov>
Chip Yamasaki, OSHA

Network Basics

We are truly in an information society. Now more than ever, moving
vast amounts of information quickly across great distances is one of
our most pressing needs. From small one-person entrepreneurial
efforts, to the largest of corporations, more and more professional
people are discovering that the only way to be successful in the '90s
and beyond is to realize that technology is advancing at a break-neck
pace—and they must somehow keep up. Likewise, researchers from all
corners of the earth are finding that their work thrives in a
networked environment. Immediate access to the work of colleagues
and a "virtual" library of millions of volumes and thousands of
papers affords them the ability to encorporate a body of knowledge
heretofore unthinkable. Work groups can now conduct interactive
conferences with each other, paying no heed to physical
location—the possibilities are endless.

You have at your fingertips the ability to talk in "real-time" with
someone in Japan, send a 2,000-word short story to a group of people
who will critique it for the sheer pleasure of doing so, see if a
Macintosh sitting in a lab in Canada is turned on, and find out if
someone happens to be sitting in front of their computer (logged on)
in Australia, all inside of thirty minutes. No airline (or tardis,
for that matter) could ever match that travel itinerary.

The largest problem people face when first using a network is
grasping all that's available. Even seasoned users find themselves
surprised when they discover a new service or feature that they'd
never known even existed. Once acquainted with the terminology and
sufficiently comfortable with making occasional mistakes, the
learning process will drastically speed up.

Domains

Getting where you want to go can often be one of the more difficult
aspects of using networks. The variety of ways that places are named
will probably leave a blank stare on your face at first. Don't fret;
there is a method to this apparent madness.

If someone were to ask for a home address, they would probably expect
a street, apartment, city, state, and zip code. That's all the
information the post office needs to deliver mail in a reasonably
speedy fashion. Likewise, computer addresses have a structure to
them. The general form is:

a person's email address on a computer: user@somewhere.domain
a computer's name: somewhere.domain

The user portion is usually the person's account name on the
system, though it doesn't have to be. somewhere.domain tells
you the name of a system or location, and what kind of organization it
is. The trailing domain is often one of the following:

com
Usually a company or other commercial institution or organization,
like Convex Computers (convex.com).

edu
An educational institution, e.g. New York University, named nyu.edu.

gov
A government site; for example, NASA is nasa.gov.

mil
A military site, like the Air Force (af.mil).

net
Gateways and other administrative hosts for a network (it does not
mean all of the hosts in a network). {The Matrix, 111. One such
gateway is near.net.}

org
This is a domain reserved for private organizations, who don't
comfortably fit in the other classes of domains. One example is the
Electronic Frontier Foundation named eff.org.

Each country also has its own top-level domain. For example, the
us domain includes each of the fifty states. Other countries
represented with domains include:

au Australia
ca Canada
fr France
uk The United Kingdom. These also have sub-domains of things like
ac.uk for academic sites and co.uk for commercial ones.

FQDN (Fully Qualified Domain Name)

The proper terminology for a site's domain name (somewhere.domain
above) is its Fully Qualified Domain Name (FQDN). It is usually
selected to give a clear indication of the site's organization or
sponsoring agent. For example, the Massachusetts Institute of
Technology's FQDN is mit.edu; similarly, Apple Computer's domain name
is apple.com. While such obvious names are usually the norm, there
are the occasional exceptions that are ambiguous enough to
mislead—like vt.edu, which on first impulse one might surmise is an
educational institution of some sort in Vermont; not so. It's
actually the domain name for Virginia Tech. In most cases it's
relatively easy to glean the meaning of a domain name—such
confusion is far from the norm.

Internet Numbers

Every single machine on the Internet has a unique address, {At least
one address, possibly two or even three—but we won't go into
that.} called its Internet number or IP Address. It's actually a
32-bit number, but is most commonly represented as four numbers
joined by periods (.), like 147.31.254.130. This is sometimes also
called a dotted quad; there are literally thousands of different
possible dotted quads. The ARPAnet (the mother to today's Internet)
originally only had the capacity to have up to 256 systems on it
because of the way each system was addressed. In the early eighties,
it became clear that things would fast outgrow such a small limit;
the 32-bit addressing method was born, freeing thousands of host
numbers.

Each piece of an Internet address (like 192) is called an "octet,"
representing one of four sets of eight bits. The first two or three
pieces (e.g. 192.55.239) represent the network that a system is on,
called its subnet. For example, all of the computers for Wesleyan
University are in the subnet 129.133. They can have numbers like
129.133.10.10, 129.133.230.19, up to 65 thousand possible
combinations (possible computers).

IP addresses and domain names aren't assigned arbitrarily—that
would lead to unbelievable confusion. An application must be filed
with the Network Information Center (NIC), either electronically (to
hostmaster@nic.ddn.mil) or via regular mail.

Resolving Names and Numbers

Ok, computers can be referred to by either their FQDN or their
Internet address. How can one user be expected to remember them all?

They aren't. The Internet is designed so that one can use either
method. Since humans find it much more natural to deal with words
than numbers in most cases, the FQDN for each host is mapped to its
Internet number. Each domain is served by a computer within that
domain, which provides all of the necessary information to go from a
domain name to an IP address, and vice-versa. For example, when
someone refers to foosun.bar.com, the resolver knows that it should
ask the system foovax.bar.com about systems in bar.com. It asks what
Internet address foosun.bar.com has; if the name foosun.bar.com
really exists, foovax will send back its number. All of this
"magic" happens behind the scenes.

Rarely will a user have to remember the Internet number of a site
(although often you'll catch yourself remembering an apparently
obscure number, simply because you've accessed the system
frequently). However, you will remember a substantial number of
FQDNs. It will eventually reach a point when you are able to make a
reasonably accurate guess at what domain name a certain college,
university, or company might have, given just their name.

The Networks

Internet
The Internet is a large "network of networks." There is no
one network known as The Internet; rather, regional nets like SuraNet,
PrepNet, NearNet, et al., are all inter-connected
(nay, "inter-networked") together into one great living thing,
communicating at amazing speeds with the TCP/IP protocol. All
activity takes place in "real-time."

UUCP
The UUCP network is a loose association of systems all communicating
with the UUCP protocol. (UUCP stands for `Unix-to-Unix Copy
Program'.) It's based on two systems connecting to each other at
specified intervals, called polling, and executing any work
scheduled for either of them. Historically most UUCP was done with
Unix equipment, although the software's since been implemented on
other platforms (e.g. VMS). For example, the system oregano
polls the system basil once every two hours. If there's any
mail waiting for oregano, basil will send it at that time;
likewise, oregano will at that time send any jobs waiting for
basil.

BITNET
BITNET (the "Because It's Time Network") is comprised of systems
connected by point-to-point links, all running the NJE protocol.
It's continued to grow, but has found itself suffering at the hands of
the falling costs of Internet connections. Also, a number of mail
gateways are in place to reach users on other networks.

The Physical Connection

The actual connections between the various networks take a variety of
forms. The most prevalent for Internet links are 56k leased lines
(dedicated telephone lines carrying 56kilobit-per-second connections)
and T1 links (special phone lines with 1Mbps connections). Also
installed are T3 links, acting as backbones between major locations
to carry a massive 45Mbps load of traffic.

These links are paid for by each institution to a local carrier (for
example, Bell Atlantic owns PrepNet, the main provider in
Pennsylvania). Also available are SLIP connections, which carry
Internet traffic (packets) over high-speed modems.

UUCP links are made with modems (for the most part), that run from
1200 baud all the way up to as high as 38.4Kbps. As was mentioned in
The Networks, the connections are of the store-and-forward
variety. Also in use are Internet-based UUCP links (as if things
weren't already confusing enough!). The systems do their UUCP traffic
over TCP/IP connections, which give the UUCP-based network some
blindingly fast "hops," resulting in better connectivity for the
network as a whole. UUCP connections first became popular in the
1970's, and have remained in wide-spread use ever since. Only with
UUCP can Joe Smith correspond with someone across the country or
around the world, for the price of a local telephone call.

BITNET links mostly take the form of 9600bps modems connected from site
to site. Often places have three or more links going; the majority,
however, look to "upstream" sites for their sole link to the network.

"The Glory and the Nothing of a Name"
Byron, {Churchill's Grave}

———–
Electronic Mail

The desire to communicate is the essence of networking. People have
always wanted to correspond with each other in the fastest way
possible, short of normal conversation. Electronic mail (or
email) is the most prevalent application of this in computer
networking. It allows people to write back and forth without having
to spend much time worrying about how the message actually gets
delivered. As technology grows closer and closer to being a common
part of daily life, the need to understand the many ways it can be
utilized and how it works, at least to some level, is vital.
part of daily life (as has been evidenced by the ISDN effort, the need
to understand the many ways it can be utilized and how it works, at
least to some level, is vital.

Email Addresses

Electronic mail is hinged around the concept of an address; the
section on Networking Basics made some reference to it while
introducing domains. Your email address provides all of the
information required to get a message to you from anywhere in the
world. An address doesn't necessarily have to go to a human being.
It could be an archive server, {See Archive Servers, for a
description.} a list of people, or even someone's pocket pager.
These cases are the exception to the norm—mail to most addresses is
read by human beings.

%@!.: Symbolic Cacophony

Email addresses usually appear in one of two forms—using the
Internet format which contains @, an "at"-sign, or using the
UUCP format which contains !, an exclamation point, also called
a "bang." The latter of the two, UUCP "bang" paths, is more
restrictive, yet more clearly dictates how the mail will travel.

To reach Jim Morrison on the system south.america.org, one would
address the mail as jm@south.america.org. But if Jim's account was
on a UUCP site named brazil, then his address would be brazil!jm. If
it's possible (and one exists), try to use the Internet form of an
address; bang paths can fail if an intermediate site in the path
happens to be down. There is a growing trend for UUCP sites to
register Internet domain names, to help alleviate the problem of path
failures.

Another symbol that enters the fray is %—it acts as an extra
"routing" method. For example, if the UUCP site dream is connected
to south.america.org, but doesn't have an Internet domain name of its
own, a user debbie on dream can be reached by writing to the address
not smallexample!

debbie%dream@south.america.org

The form is significant. This address says that the local system
should first send the mail to south.america.org. There the address
debbie%dream will turn into debbie@dream, which will hopefully be a
valid address. Then south.america.org will handle getting the mail
to the host dream, where it will be delivered locally to debbie.

All of the intricacies of email addressing methods are fully covered
in the book "!%@@:: A Directory of Electronic Mail Addressing and
Networks" published by O'Reilly and Associates, as part of their
Nutshell Handbook series. It is a must for any active email user.
Write to nuts@ora.com for ordering information.

Sending and Receiving Mail

We'll make one quick diversion from being OS-neuter here, to show you
what it will look like to send and receive a mail message on a Unix
system. Check with your system administrator for specific
instructions related to mail at your site.

A person sending the author mail would probably do something like this:

% mail brendan@cs.widener.edu
Subject: print job's stuck

I typed `print babe.gif' and it didn't work! Why??

The next time the author checked his mail, he would see it listed in
his mailbox as:

% mail
"/usr/spool/mail/brendan": 1 messages 1 new 1 unread
U 1 joeuser@foo.widene Tue May 5 20:36 29/956 print job's stuck
?

which gives information on the sender of the email, when it was sent,
and the subject of the message. He would probably use the
reply command of Unix mail to send this response:

? r
To: joeuser@@foo.widener.edu
Subject: Re: print job's stuck

You shouldn't print binary files like GIFs to a printer!

Brendan

Try sending yourself mail a few times, to get used to your system's
mailer. It'll save a lot of wasted aspirin for both you and your
system administrator.

Anatomy of a Mail Header

An electronic mail message has a specific structure to it that's
common across every type of computer system. {The standard is written
down in RFC-822. See also RFCs for more info on how to get copies of
the various RFCs.} A sample would be:

>From bush@hq.mil Sat May 25 17:06:01 1991
Received: from hq.mil by house.gov with SMTP id AA21901
(4.1/SMI for dan@house.gov); Sat, 25 May 91 17:05:56 -0400
Date: Sat, 25 May 91 17:05:56 -0400
From: The President <bush@hq.mil>
Message-Id: <9105252105.AA06631@hq.mil>
To: dan@senate.gov
Subject: Meeting

Hi Dan .. we have a meeting at 9:30 a.m. with the Joint Chiefs. Please
don't oversleep this time.

The first line, with From and the two lines for Received: are usually
not very interesting. They give the "real" address that the mail
is coming from (as opposed to the address you should reply to, which
may look much different), and what places the mail went through to
get to you. Over the Internet, there is always at least one
Received: header and usually no more than four or five. When a
message is sent using UUCP, one Received: header is added for each
system that the mail passes through. This can often result in more
than a dozen Received: headers. While they help with dissecting
problems in mail delivery, odds are the average user will never want
to see them. Most mail programs will filter out this kind of
"cruft" in a header.

The Date: header contains the date and time the message was
sent. Likewise, the "good" address (as opposed to "real" address)
is laid out in the From: header. Sometimes it won't include
the full name of the person (in this case The President), and
may look different, but it should always contain an email address of
some form.

The Message-ID: of a message is intended mainly for tracing
mail routing, and is rarely of interest to normal users. Every
Message-ID: is guaranteed to be unique.

To: lists the email address (or addresses) of the recipients of
the message. There may be a Cc: header, listing additional
addresses. Finally, a brief subject for the message goes in the
Subject: header.

The exact order of a message's headers may vary from system to system,
but it will always include these fundamental headers that are vital to
proper delivery.

Bounced Mail

When an email address is incorrect in some way (the system's name is
wrong, the domain doesn't exist, whatever), the mail system will
bounce the message back to the sender, much the same way that the
Postal Service does when you send a letter to a bad street address.
The message will include the reason for the bounce; a common error is
addressing mail to an account name that doesn't exist. For example,
writing to Lisa Simpson at Widener University's Computer Science
department will fail, because she doesn't have an account. {Though if
she asked, we'd certainly give her one.}

From: Mail Delivery Subsystem <MAILER-DAEMON>
Date: Sat, 25 May 91 16:45:14 -0400
To: mg@gracie.com
Cc: Postmaster@cs.widener.edu
Subject: Returned mail: User unknown

—– Transcript of session follows —–
While talking to cs.widener.edu:
>>> RCPT To:<lsimpson@cs.widener.edu>
<<< 550 <lsimpson@cs.widener.edu>… User unknown
550 lsimpson… User unknown

As you can see, a carbon copy of the message (the Cc: header
entry) was sent to the postmaster of Widener's CS department. The
Postmaster is responsible for maintaining a reliable mail system
on his system. Usually postmasters at sites will attempt to aid you
in getting your mail where it's supposed to go. If a typing error was
made, then try re-sending the message. If you're sure that the
address is correct, contact the postmaster of the site directly and
ask him how to properly address it.

The message also includes the text of the mail, so you don't have to
retype everything you wrote.

—– Unsent message follows —–
Received: by cs.widener.edu id AA06528; Sat, 25 May 91 16:45:14 -0400
Date: Sat, 25 May 91 16:45:14 -0400
From: Matt Groening <mg@gracie.com>
Message-Id: <9105252045.AA06528@gracie.com>
To: lsimpson@cs.widener.edu
Subject: Scripting your future episodes
Reply-To: writing-group@gracie.com

…. verbiage …

The full text of the message is returned intact, including any headers
that were added. This can be cut out with an editor and fed right
back into the mail system with a proper address, making redelivery a
relatively painless process.

Mailing Lists

People that share common interests are inclined to discuss their
hobby or interest at every available opportunity. One modern way to
aid in this exchange of information is by using a mailing
list—usually an email address that redistributes all mail sent to
it back out to a list of addresses. For example, the Sun Managers
mailing list (of interest to people that administer computers
manufactured by Sun) has the address sun-managers@eecs.nwu.edu. Any
mail sent to that address will "explode" out to each person named
in a file maintained on a computer at Northwestern University.

Administrative tasks (sometimes referred to as administrivia) are
often handled through other addresses, typically with the suffix
-request. To continue the above, a request to be added to or deleted
from the Sun Managers list should be sent to
sun-managers-request@eecs.nwu.edu.

When in doubt, try to write to the -request version of a mailing list
address first; the other people on the list aren't interested in your
desire to be added or deleted, and can certainly do nothing to
expedite your request. Often if the administrator of a list is busy
(remember, this is all peripheral to real jobs and real work), many
users find it necessary to ask again and again, often with harsher
and harsher language, to be removed from a list. This does nothing
more than waste traffic and bother everyone else receiving the
messages. If, after a reasonable amount of time, you still haven't
succeeded to be removed from a mailing list, write to the postmaster
at that site and see if they can help.

Exercise caution when replying to a message sent by a mailing list. If
you wish to respond to the author only, make sure that the only
address you're replying to is that person, and not the entire list.
Often messages of the sort "Yes, I agree with you completely!" will
appear on a list, boring the daylights out of the other readers. Likewise,
if you explicitly do want to send the message to the whole list,
you'll save yourself some time by checking to make sure it's indeed
headed to the whole list and not a single person.

A list of the currently available mailing lists is available in at
least two places; the first is in a file on ftp.nisc.sri.com called
interest-groups under the netinfo/ directory. It's updated fairly
regularly, but is large (presently around 700K), so only get it every
once in a while. The other list is maintained by Gene Spafford
(spaf@cs.purdue.edu), and is posted in parts to the newsgroup
news.lists semi-regularly. (Usenet News, for info on how to read that
and other newsgroups.)

Listservs

On BITNET there's an automated system for maintaining discussion lists
called the listserv. Rather than have an already harried and
overworked human take care of additions and removals from a list, a
program performs these and other tasks by responding to a set of
user-driven commands.

Areas of interest are wide and varied—ETHICS-L deals with ethics in
computing, while ADND-L has to do with a role-playing game. A full
list of the available BITNET lists can be obtained by writing to
LISTSERV@BITNIC.BITNET with a body containing the command

list global

However, be sparing in your use of this—see if it's already on your
system somewhere. The reply is quite large.

The most fundamental command is subscribe. It will tell the
listserv to add the sender to a specific list. The usage is

subscribe foo-l Your Real Name

It will respond with a message either saying that you've been added to
the list, or that the request has been passed on to the system on
which the list is actually maintained.

The mate to subscribe is, naturally, unsubscribe. It will remove a
given address from a BITNET list. It, along with all other listserv
commands, can be abbreviated—subscribe as sub, unsubscribe as
unsub, etc. For a full list of the available listserv commands,
write to LISTSERV@BITNIC.BITNET, giving it the command help.

As an aside, there have been implementations of the listserv system
for non-BITNET hosts (more specifically, Unix systems). One of the
most complete is available on cs.bu.edu in the
directory pub/listserv.

"I made this letter longer than usual because
I lack the time to make it shorter."
Pascal, Provincial Letters XVI

————–

Anonymous FTP

FTP (File Transfer Protocol) is the primary method of transferring
files over the Internet. On many systems, it's also the name of the
program that implements the protocol. Given proper permission, it's
possible to copy a file from a computer in South Africa to one in Los
Angeles at very fast speeds (on the order of 5–10K per second).
This normally requires either a user id on both systems or a special
configuration set up by the system administrator(s).

There is a good way around this restriction—the anonymous FTP
service. It essentially will let anyone in the world have access to
a certain area of disk space in a non-threatening way. With this,
people can make files publicly available with little hassle. Some
systems have dedicated entire disks or even entire computers to
maintaining extensive archives of source code and information. They
include gatekeeper.dec.com (Digital), wuarchive.wustl.edu (Washington
University in Saint Louis), and archive.cis.ohio-state.edu (The Ohio
State University).

The process involves the "foreign" user (someone not on the system
itself) creating an FTP connection and logging into the system as the
user anonymous, with an arbitrary password:

Name (foo.site.com:you): anonymous
Password: jm@south.america.org

Custom and netiquette dictate that people respond to the
Password: query with an email address so that the sites can
track the level of FTP usage, if they desire. (Addresses for
information on email addresses).

The speed of the transfer depends on the speed of the underlying
link. A site that has a 9600bps SLIP connection will not get the same
throughput as a system with a 56k leased line (The Physical
Connection, for more on what kinds of connections can exist in a
network). Also, the traffic of all other users on that link will
affect performance. If there are thirty people all FTPing from one
site simultaneously, the load on the system (in addition to the
network connection) will degrade the overall throughput of the
transfer.

FTP Etiquette

Lest we forget, the Internet is there for people to do work. People
using the network and the systems on it are doing so for a purpose,
whether it be research, development, whatever. Any heavy activity
takes away from the overall performance of the network as a whole.

The effects of an FTP connection on a site and its link can vary; the
general rule of thumb is that any extra traffic created detracts from
the ability of that site's users to perform their tasks. To help be
considerate of this, it's highly recommended that FTP sessions
be held only after normal business hours for that site, preferably
late at night. The possible effects of a large transfer will be less
destructive at 2 a.m. than 2 p.m. Also, remember that if it's past
dinner time in Maine, it's still early afternoon in California—think
in terms of the current time at the site that's being visited, not of
local time.

Basic Commands

While there have been many extensions to the various FTP clients out
there, there is a de facto "standard" set that everyone expects to
work. For more specific information, read the manual for your
specific FTP program. This section will only skim the bare minimum of
commands needed to operate an FTP session.

Creating the Connection

The actual command to use FTP will vary among operating systems; for
the sake of clarity, we'll use FTP here, since it's the most
general form.

There are two ways to connect to a system—using its hostname
or its Internet number. Using the hostname is usually preferred.
However, some sites aren't able to resolve hostnames properly,
and have no alternative. We'll assume you're able to use hostnames
for simplicity's sake. The form is

ftp somewhere.domain

Domains for help with reading and using domain names
(in the example below, somewhere.domain is ftp.uu.net).

You must first know the name of the system you want to connect to.
We'll use ftp.uu.net as an example. On your system, type:

ftp ftp.uu.net

(the actual syntax will vary depending on the type of system the
connection's being made from). It will pause momentarily then respond
with the message

Connected to ftp.uu.net.

and an initial prompt will appear:

220 uunet FTP server (Version 5.100 Mon Feb 11 17:13:28 EST 1991) ready.
Name (ftp.uu.net:jm):

to which you should respond with anonymous:

220 uunet FTP server (Version 5.100 Mon Feb 11 17:13:28 EST 1991) ready.
Name (ftp.uu.net:jm): anonymous

The system will then prompt you for a password; as noted previously, a
good response is your email address:

331 Guest login ok, send ident as password.
Password: jm@south.america.org
230 Guest login ok, access restrictions apply.
ftp>

The password itself will not echo. This is to protect a user's
security when he or she is using a real account to FTP files between
machines. Once you reach the ftp> prompt, you know you're
logged in and ready to go.

Notice the ftp.uu.net:joe in the Name: prompt? That's
another clue that anonymous FTP is special: FTP expects a normal user
accounts to be used for transfers.

dir
At the ftp> prompt, you can type a number of commands to perform
various functions. One example is dir—it will list the files
in the current directory. Continuing the example from above:

ftp> dir

200 PORT command successful.
150 Opening ASCII mode data connection for /bin/ls.
total 3116
drwxr-xr-x 2 7 21 512 Nov 21 1988 .forward
-rw-rw-r– 1 7 11 0 Jun 23 1988 .hushlogin
drwxrwxr-x 2 0 21 512 Jun 4 1990 Census
drwxrwxr-x 2 0 120 512 Jan 8 09:36 ClariNet
… etc etc …
-rw-rw-r– 1 7 14 42390 May 20 02:24 newthisweek.Z
… etc etc …
-rw-rw-r– 1 7 14 2018887 May 21 01:01 uumap.tar.Z
drwxrwxr-x 2 7 6 1024 May 11 10:58 uunet-info

226 Transfer complete.
5414 bytes received in 1.1 seconds (4.9 Kbytes/s)
ftp>

The file newthisweek.Z was specifically included because we'll
be using it later. Just for general information, it happens to be a
listing of all of the files added to UUNET's archives during the past
week.

The directory shown is on a machine running the Unix operating
system—the dir command will produce different results on other
operating systems (e.g. TOPS, VMS, et al.). Learning to recognize
different formats will take some time. After a few weeks of
traversing the Internet, it proves easier to see, for example, how
large a file is on an operating system you're otherwise not acquainted
with.

With many FTP implementations, it's also possible to take the output
of dir and put it into a file on the local system with

ftp> dir n* outfilename

the contents of which can then be read outside of the live FTP
connection; this is particularly useful for systems with very long
directories (like ftp.uu.net). The above example would put the
names of every file that begins with an n into the local file
outfilename.

cd

At the beginning of an FTP session, the user is in a "top-level"
directory. Most things are in directories below it (e.g. /pub). To
change the current directory, one uses the cd command. To change to
the directory pub, for example, one would type

ftp> cd pub

which would elicit the response

250 CWD command successful.

Meaning the "Change Working Directory" command (cd) worked
properly. Moving "up" a directory is more system-specific—in Unix
use the command cd .., and in VMS, cd [-].

get and put

The actual transfer is performed with the get and put
commands. To get a file from the remote computer to the local
system, the command takes the form:

ftp> get filename

where filename is the file on the remote system. Again using
ftp.uu.net as an example, the file newthisweek.Z can be
retrieved with

ftp> get newthisweek.Z
200 PORT command successful.
150 Opening ASCII mode data connection for newthisweek.Z (42390 bytes).
226 Transfer complete.
local: newthisweek.Z remote: newthisweek.Z
42553 bytes received in 6.9 seconds (6 Kbytes/s)
ftp>

The section below on using binary mode instead of ASCII will describe
why this particular choice will result in a corrupt and subsequently
unusable file.

If, for some reason, you want to save a file under a different name
(e.g. your system can only have 14-character filenames, or can only
have one dot in the name), you can specify what the local filename
should be by providing get with an additional argument

ftp> get newthisweek.Z uunet-new

which will place the contents of the file newthisweek.Z in
uunet-new on the local system.

The transfer works the other way, too. The put command will
transfer a file from the local system to the remote system. If the
permissions are set up for an FTP session to write to a remote
directory, a file can be sent with

ftp> put filename

As with get, put will take a third argument, letting you
specify a different name for the file on the remote system.

ASCII vs Binary

In the example above, the file newthisweek.Z was transferred, but
supposedly not correctly. The reason is this: in a normal ASCII
transfer (the default), certain characters are translated between
systems, to help make text files more readable. However, when binary
files (those containing non-ASCII characters) are transferred, this
translation should not take place. One example is a binary
program—a few changed characters can render it completely useless.

To avoid this problem, it's possible to be in one of two modes—ASCII
or binary. In binary mode, the file isn't translated in any way.
What's on the remote system is precisely what's received. The
commands to go between the two modes are:

ftp> ascii
200 Type set to A. (Note the A, which signifies ASCII mode.)

ftp> binary
200 Type set to I. (Set to Image format, for pure binary transfers.)

Note that each command need only be done once to take effect; if the
user types binary, all transfers in that session are done in
binary mode (that is, unless ascii is typed later).

The transfer of newthisweek.Z will work if done as:

ftp> binary
200 Type set to I.
ftp> get newthisweek.Z
200 PORT command successful.
150 Opening BINARY mode data connection for newthisweek.Z (42390 bytes).
226 Transfer complete.
local: newthisweek.Z remote: newthisweek.Z
42390 bytes received in 7.2 seconds (5.8 Kbytes/s)

Note: The file size (42390) is different from that done
in ASCII mode (42553) bytes; and the number 42390 matches the one
in the listing of UUNET's top directory. We can be relatively sure
that we've received the file without any problems.

mget and mput

The commands mget and mput allow for multiple file
transfers using wildcards to get several files, or a whole set of
files at once, rather than having to do it manually one by one. For
example, to get all files that begin with the letter f, one
would type

ftp> mget f*

Similarly, to put all of the local files that end with .c:

ftp> mput *.c

Rather than reiterate what's been written a hundred times before,
consult a local manual for more information on wildcard matching
(every DOS manual, for example, has a section on it).

Normally, FTP assumes a user wants to be prompted for every file in a
mget or mput operation. You'll often need to get a whole set of
files and not have each of them confirmed—you know they're all
right. In that case, use the prompt command to turn the queries off.

ftp> prompt
Interactive mode off.

Likewise, to turn it back on, the prompt command should simply
be issued again.

Joe Granrose's List
Monthly, Joe Granrose (odin@pilot.njin.net) posts to Usenet
(Usenet News) an extensive list of sites offering anonymous FTP
service. It's available in a number of ways:

The Usenet groups comp.misc and comp.sources.wanted

Anonymous FTP from pilot.njin.net [128.6.7.38], in
/pub/ftp-list.

Write to odin@pilot.njin.net with a Subject: line of listserv-request
and a message body of send help. Please don't bother Joe with your
requests—the server will provide you with the list.

The archie Server
archie is always in lowercase

A group of people at McGill University in Canada got together and created a
query system called archie. It was originally formed to be a
quick and easy way to scan the offerings of the many anonymous FTP
sites that are maintained around the world. As time progressed,
archie grew to include other valuable services as well.

The archie service is accessible through an interactive telnet
session, email queries, and command-line and X-window clients. The
email responses can be used along with FTPmail servers for those not
on the Internet. (FTP-by-Mail Servers, for info on using FTPmail
servers.)

Using archie Today

Currently, archie tracks the contents of over 800 anonymous FTP
archive sites containing over a million files stored across the
Internet. Collectively, these files represent well over 50 gigabytes
of information, with new entries being added daily.

The archie server automatically updates the listing information from
each site about once a month. This avoids constantly updating the
databases, which could waste network resources, yet ensures that the
information on each site's holdings is reasonably up to date.

To access archie interactively, telnet to one of the existing
servers. {See Telnet, for notes on using the telnet program.} They
include

archie.ans.net (New York, USA)
archie.rutgers.edu (New Jersey, USA)
archie.sura.net (Maryland, USA)
archie.unl.edu (Nebraska, USA)
archie.mcgill.ca (the first Archie server, in Canada)
archie.funet.fi (Finland)
archie.au (Australia)
archie.doc.ic.ac.uk (Great Britain)

At the login: prompt of one of the servers, enter archie to log in.
A greeting will be displayed, detailing information about ongoing
work in the archie project; the user will be left at a archie>
prompt, at which he may enter commands. Using help will yield
instructions on using the prog command to make queries, set to
control various aspects of the server's operation, et al. Type quit
at the prompt to leave archie. Typing the query prog vine.tar.Z will
yield a list of the systems that offer the source to the X-windows
program vine; a piece of the information returned looks like:

Host ftp.uu.net (137.39.1.9)
Last updated 10:30 7 Jan 1992

Location: /packages/X/contrib
FILE rw-r–r– 15548 Oct 8 20:29 vine.tar.Z

Host nic.funet.fi (128.214.6.100)
Last updated 05:07 4 Jan 1992

Location: /pub/X11/contrib
FILE rw-rw-r– 15548 Nov 8 03:25 vine.tar.Z

archie Clients

There are two main-stream archie clients, one called (naturally
enough) archie, the other xarchie (for X-Windows). They query the
archie databases and yield a list of systems that have the requested
file(s) available for anonymous FTP, without requiring an interactive
session to the server. For example, to find the same information you
tried with the server command prog, you could type

% archie vine.tar.Z
Host athene.uni-paderborn.de
Location: /local/X11/more_contrib
FILE -rw-r–r– 18854 Nov 15 1990 vine.tar.Z

Host emx.utexas.edu
Location: /pub/mnt/source/games
FILE -rw-r–r– 12019 May 7 1988 vine.tar.Z

Host export.lcs.mit.edu
Location: /contrib
FILE -rw-r–r– 15548 Oct 9 00:29 vine.tar.Z

Note that your system administrator may not have installed the archie
clients yet; the source is available on each of the archie servers, in
the directory archie/clients.

Using the X-windows client is much more intuitive—if it's installed,
just read its man page and give it a whirl. It's essential for the
networked desktop.

Mailing archie

Users limited to email connectivity to the Internet should send a
message to the address archie@archie.mcgill.ca with the single word
help in the body of the message. An email message will be returned
explaining how to use the email archie server, along with the details
of using FTPmail. Most of the commands offered by the telnet
interface can be used with the mail server.

The whatis database

In addition to offering access to anonymous FTP listings, archie also
permits access to the whatis description database. It includes
the names and brief synopses for over 3,500 public domain software
packages, datasets and informational documents located on the
Internet.

Additional whatis databases are scheduled to be added in the
future. Planned offerings include listings for the names and locations
of online library catalog programs, the names of publicly accessible
electronic mailing lists, compilations of Frequently Asked Questions
lists, and archive sites for the most popular Usenet newsgroups.
Suggestions for additional descriptions or locations databases are
welcomed and should be sent to the archie developers at
archie-l@cs.mcgill.ca.

"Was f@"ur pl@"undern!"
("What a place to plunder!")
Gebhard Leberecht Bl@"ucher

——
Usenet News

Original from: chip@count.tct.com (Chip Salzenberg)
[Most recent change: 19 May 1991 by spaf@cs.purdue.edu (Gene Spafford)]

The first thing to understand about Usenet is that it is widely
misunderstood. Every day on Usenet the "blind men and the
elephant" phenomenon appears, in spades. In the opinion of the
author, more flame wars (rabid arguments) arise because of a
lack of understanding of the nature of Usenet than from any other
source. And consider that such flame wars arise, of necessity, among
people who are on Usenet. Imagine, then, how poorly understood Usenet
must be by those outside!

No essay on the nature of Usenet can ignore the erroneous impressions
held by many Usenet users. Therefore, this section will treat
falsehoods first. Keep reading for truth. (Beauty, alas, is not
relevant to Usenet.)

What Usenet Is

Usenet is the set of machines that exchange articles tagged with one
or more universally-recognized labels, called newsgroups (or
"groups" for short). (Note that the term newsgroup is correct,
while area, base, board, bboard, conference, round table, SIG, etc.
are incorrect. If you want to be understood, be accurate.)

The Diversity of Usenet

If the above definition of Usenet sounds vague, that's because it is.
It is almost impossible to generalize over all Usenet sites in any
non-trivial way. Usenet encompasses government agencies, large
universities, high schools, businesses of all sizes, home computers of
all descriptions, etc.

Every administrator controls his own site. No one has any real
control over any site but his own. The administrator gets his power
from the owner of the system he administers. As long as the owner is
happy with the job the administrator is doing, he can do whatever he
pleases, up to and including cutting off Usenet entirely. C'est
la vie.

What Usenet Is Not

Usenet is not an organization.
Usenet has no central authority. In fact, it has no central anything.
There is a vague notion of "upstream" and "downstream" related to
the direction of high-volume news flow. It follows that, to the
extent that "upstream" sites decide what traffic they will carry for
their "downstream" neighbors, that "upstream" sites have some
influence on their neighbors. But such influence is usually easy to
circumvent, and heavy-handed manipulation typically results in a
backlash of resentment.

Usenet is not a democracy.
A democracy can be loosely defined as "government of the people, by
the people, for the people." However, as explained above, Usenet is
not an organization, and only an organization can be run as a
democracy. Even a democracy must be organized, for if it lacks a
means of enforcing the peoples' wishes, then it may as well not exist.

Some people wish that Usenet were a democracy. Many people pretend
that it is. Both groups are sadly deluded.

Usenet is not fair.
After all, who shall decide what's fair? For that matter, if someone
is behaving unfairly, who's going to stop him? Neither you nor I,
that's certain.

Usenet is not a right.
Some people misunderstand their local right of "freedom of speech"
to mean that they have a legal right to use others' computers to say
what they wish in whatever way they wish, and the owners of said
computers have no right to stop them.

Those people are wrong. Freedom of speech also means freedom not to
speak; if I choose not to use my computer to aid your speech, that is
my right. Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one.

Usenet is not a public utility.
Some Usenet sites are publicly funded or subsidized. Most of them,
by plain count, are not. There is no government monopoly on Usenet,
and little or no control.

Usenet is not a commercial network.
Many Usenet sites are academic or government organizations; in fact,
Usenet originated in academia. Therefore, there is a Usenet custom of
keeping commercial traffic to a minimum. If such commercial traffic
is generally considered worth carrying, then it may be grudgingly
tolerated. Even so, it is usually separated somehow from
non-commercial traffic; see comp.newprod.

Usenet is not the Internet.
The Internet is a wide-ranging network, parts of which are subsidized
by various governments. The Internet carries many kinds of traffic;
Usenet is only one of them. And the Internet is only one of the
various networks carrying Usenet traffic.

Usenet is not a Unix network, nor even an ASCII network.

Don't assume that everyone is using "rn" on a Unix machine. There
are Vaxen running VMS, IBM mainframes, Amigas, and MS-DOS PCs reading
and posting to Usenet. And, yes, some of them use (shudder) EBCDIC.
Ignore them if you like, but they're out there.

Usenet is not software.
There are dozens of software packages used at various sites to
transport and read Usenet articles. So no one program or package can
be called "the Usenet software."

Software designed to support Usenet traffic can be (and is) used for
other kinds of communication, usually without risk of mixing the two.
Such private communication networks are typically kept distinct from
Usenet by the invention of newsgroup names different from the
universally-recognized ones.

Usenet is not a UUCP network.

UUCP is a protocol (some might say protocol suite, but that's a
technical point) for sending data over point-to-point connections,
typically using dialup modems. Usenet is only one of the various
kinds of traffic carried via UUCP, and UUCP is only one of the various
transports carrying Usenet traffic.

Well, enough negativity.

Propagation of News

In the old days, when UUCP over long-distance dialup lines was the
dominant means of article transmission, a few well-connected sites
had real influence in determining which newsgroups would be carried
where. Those sites called themselves "the backbone."

But things have changed. Nowadays, even the smallest Internet site
has connectivity the likes of which the backbone admin of yesteryear
could only dream. In addition, in the U.S., the advent of cheaper
long-distance calls and high-speed modems has made long-distance
Usenet feeds thinkable for smaller companies. There is only one
pre-eminent UUCP transport site today in the U.S., namely UUNET. But
UUNET isn't a player in the propagation wars, because it never
refuses any traffic—it gets paid by the minute, after all; to
refuse based on content would jeopardize its legal status as an
enhanced service provider.

All of the above applies to the U.S. In Europe, different cost
structures favored the creation of strictly controlled hierarchical
organizations with central registries. This is all very unlike the
traditional mode of U.S. sites (pick a name, get the software, get a
feed, you're on). Europe's "benign monopolies", long uncontested,
now face competition from looser organizations patterned after the
U.S. model.

Group Creation

As discussed above, Usenet is not a democracy. Nevertheless,
currently the most popular way to create a new newsgroup involves a
"vote" to determine popular support for (and opposition to) a
proposed newsgroup. Newsgroup Creation, for detailed instructions and
guidelines on the process involved in making a newsgroup.

If you follow the guidelines, it is probable that your group will be
created and will be widely propagated. However, due to the nature of
Usenet, there is no way for any user to enforce the results of a
newsgroup vote (or any other decision, for that matter). Therefore,
for your new newsgroup to be propagated widely, you must not only
follow the letter of the guidelines; you must also follow its spirit.
And you must not allow even a whiff of shady dealings or dirty tricks
to mar the vote.

So, you may ask: How is a new user supposed to know anything about the
"spirit" of the guidelines? Obviously, she can't. This fact leads
inexorably to the following recommendation:

If you're a new user, don't try to create a new newsgroup alone.

If you have a good newsgroup idea, then read the news.groups
newsgroup for a while (six months, at least) to find out how things
work. If you're too impatient to wait six months, then you really
need to learn; read news.groups for a year instead. If you just
can't wait, find a Usenet old hand to run the vote for you.

Readers may think this advice unnecessarily strict. Ignore it at your
peril. It is embarrassing to speak before learning. It is foolish to
jump into a society you don't understand with your mouth open. And it
is futile to try to force your will on people who can tune you out
with the press of a key.

If You're Unhappy…
Property rights being what they are, there is no higher authority on
Usenet than the people who own the machines on which Usenet traffic is
carried. If the owner of the machine you use says, "We will not
carry alt.sex on this machine," and you are not happy with
that order, you have no Usenet recourse. What can we outsiders do,
after all?

That doesn't mean you are without options. Depending on the nature
of your site, you may have some internal political recourse. Or you
might find external pressure helpful. Or, with a minimal investment,
you can get a feed of your own from somewhere else. Computers capable
of taking Usenet feeds are down in the $500 range now, Unix-capable
boxes are going for under $2000, and there are at least two Unix
lookalikes in the $100 price range.

No matter what, appealing to "Usenet" won't help. Even if those who
read such an appeal regarding system administration are sympathetic to
your cause, they will almost certainly have even less influence at
your site than you do.

By the same token, if you don't like what some user at another site is
doing, only the administrator and/or owner of that site have any
authority to do anything about it. Persuade them that the user in
question is a problem for them, and they might do something (if they
feel like it). If the user in question is the administrator or owner
of the site from which he or she posts, forget it; you can't win.
Arrange for your newsreading software to ignore articles from him or
her if you can, and chalk one up to experience.

The History of Usenet (The ABCs)

In the beginning, there were conversations, and they were good. Then
came Usenet in 1979, shortly after the release of V7 Unix with UUCP;
and it was better. Two Duke University grad students in North
Carolina, Tom Truscott and Jim Ellis, thought of hooking computers
together to exchange information with the Unix community. Steve
Bellovin, a grad student at the University of North Carolina, put
together the first version of the news software using shell scripts
and installed it on the first two sites: unc and duke. At the
beginning of 1980 the network consisted of those two sites and phs
(another machine at Duke), and was described at the January 1980
Usenix conference in Boulder, CO. {The Usenix conferences are
semi-annual meetings where members of the Usenix Association, a
group of Unix enthusiasts, meet and trade notes.} Steve Bellovin
later rewrote the scripts into C programs, but they were never
released beyond unc and duke. Shortly thereafter, Steve Daniel did
another implementation in the C programming language for public
distribution. Tom Truscott made further modifications, and this
became the "A" news release.

In 1981 at the University of California at Berkeley, grad student Mark
Horton and high school student Matt Glickman rewrote the news software
to add functionality and to cope with the ever increasing volume of
news—"A" news was intended for only a few articles per group per
day. This rewrite was the "B" news version. The first public
release was version 2.1 in 1982; all versions before 2.1 were
considered in beta test. As The Net grew, the news software was
expanded and modified. The last version maintained and released
primarily by Mark was 2.10.1.

Rick Adams, then at the Center for Seismic Studies, took over
coordination of the maintenance and enhancement of the news software
with the 2.10.2 release in 1984. By this time, the increasing volume
of news was becoming a concern, and the mechanism for moderated groups
was added to the software at 2.10.2. Moderated groups were inspired
by ARPA mailing lists and experience with other bulletin board
systems. In late 1986, version 2.11 of news was released, including a
number of changes to support a new naming structure for newsgroups,
enhanced batching and compression, enhanced ihave/sendme control
messages, and other features. The current release of news is 2.11,
patchlevel 19.

A new version of news, becoming known as "C" news, has been
developed at the University of Toronto by Geoff Collyer and Henry
Spencer. This version is a rewrite of the lowest levels of news to
increase article processing speed, decrease article expiration
processing and improve the reliability of the news system through
better locking, etc. The package was released to The Net in the
autumn of 1987. For more information, see the paper News Need Not Be
Slow, published in the Winter 1987 Usenix Technical Conference
proceedings.

Usenet software has also been ported to a number of platforms, from
the Amiga and IBM PCs all the way to minicomputers and mainframes.

Hierarchies
Newsgroups are organized according to their specific areas of
concentration. Since the groups are in a tree structure, the
various areas are called hierarchies. There are seven major categories:

comp
Topics of interest to both computer professionals and
hobbyists, including topics in computer science, software sources, and
information on hardware and software systems.

misc
Group addressing themes not easily classified into any of the other
headings or which incorporate themes from multiple categories.
Subjects include fitness, job-hunting, law, and investments.

sci
Discussions marked by special knowledge relating to research in or
application of the established sciences.

soc
Groups primarily addressing social issues and socializing. Included
are discussions related to many different world cultures.

talk
Groups largely debate-oriented and tending to feature long
discussions without resolution and without appreciable amounts of
generally useful information.

news
Groups concerned with the news network, group maintenance, and software.

rec
Groups oriented towards hobbies and recreational activities

These "world" newsgroups are (usually) circulated around the entire
Usenet—this implies world-wide distribution. Not all groups
actually enjoy such wide distribution, however. The European Usenet
and Eunet sites take only a selected subset of the more "technical"
groups, and controversial "noise" groups are often not carried by many
sites in the U.S. and Canada (these groups are primarily under the talk
and soc classifications). Many sites do not carry some or all of
the comp.binaries groups because of the typically large size of
the posts in them (being actual executable programs).

Also available are a number of "alternative" hierarchies:

alt
True anarchy; anything and everything can and does appear;
subjects include sex, the Simpsons, and privacy.

gnu
Groups concentrating on interests and software with the GNU
Project of the Free Software Foundation. For further info on what the
FSF is, FSF.

biz
Business-related groups.

Moderated vs Unmoderated

Some newsgroups insist that the discussion remain focused and
on-target; to serve this need, moderated groups came to be. All
articles posted to a moderated group get mailed to the group's
moderator. He or she periodically (hopefully sooner than later)
reviews the posts, and then either posts them individually to Usenet,
or posts a composite digest of the articles for the past day or
two. This is how many mailing list gateways work (for example, the
Risks Digest).

news.groups & news.announce.newgroups

Being a good net.citizen includes being involved in the continuing
growth and evolution of the Usenet system. One part of this
involvement includes following the discussion in the groups
news.groups and the notes in news.announce.newgroups. It is there
that discussion goes on about the creation of new groups and
destruction of inactive ones. Every person on Usenet is allowed and
encouraged to vote on the creation of a newsgroup.

How Usenet Works

The transmission of Usenet news is entirely cooperative. Feeds are
generally provided out of good will and the desire to distribute news
everywhere. There are places which provide feeds for a fee (e.g.
UUNET), but for the large part no exchange of money is involved.

There are two major transport methods, UUCP and NNTP. The first is
mainly modem-based and involves the normal charges for telephone
calls. The second, NNTP, is the primary method for distributing news
over the Internet.

With UUCP, news is stored in batches on a site until the
neighbor calls to receive the articles, or the feed site happens to
call. A list of groups which the neighbor wishes to receive is
maintained on the feed site. The Cnews system compresses its batches,
which can dramatically reduce the transmission time necessary for a
relatively heavy newsfeed.

NNTP, on the other hand, offers a little more latitude with how news
is sent. The traditional store-and-forward method is, of course,
available. Given the "real-time" nature of the Internet, though,
other methods have been devised. Programs now keep constant
connections with their news neighbors, sending news nearly
instantaneously, and can handle dozens of simultaneous feeds, both
incoming and outgoing.

The transmission of a Usenet article is centered around the unique
Message-ID: header. When an NNTP site offers an article to a
neighbor, it says it has that specific Message ID. If the neighbor
finds it hasn't received the article yet, it tells the feed to send it
through; this is repeated for each and every article that's waiting
for the neighbor. Using unique IDs helps prevent a system from
receiving five copies of an article from each of its five news
neighbors, for example.

Further information on how Usenet works with relation to the various
transports is available in the documentation for the Cnews and NNTP
packages, as well as in RFC-1036, the Standard for Interchange of
USENET Messages and RFC-977, Network News Transfer Protocol: A
Proposed Standard for the Stream-Based Transmission of News. The
RFCs do tend to be rather dry reading, particularly to the new user.

Mail Gateways

A natural progression is for Usenet news and electronic mailing lists
to somehow become merged—which they have, in the form of news
gateways. Many mailing lists are set up to "reflect" messages not
only to the readership of the list, but also into a newsgroup.
Likewise, posts to a newsgroup can be sent to the moderator of the
mailing list, or to the entire mailing list. Some examples of this in
action are comp.risks (the Risks Digest) and
comp.dcom.telecom (the Telecom Digest).

This method of propagating mailing list traffic has helped solve the
problem of a single message being delivered to a number of people at
the same site—instead, anyone can just subscribe to the group.
Also, mailing list maintenance is lowered substantially, since the
moderators don't have to be constantly removing and adding users to
and from the list. Instead, the people can read and not read the
newsgroup at their leisure.

from "Dear Emily Postnews" by Brad Templeton
Usenet "Netiquette"

There are many traditions with Usenet, not the least of which is
dubbed netiquette—being polite and considerate of others. If
you follow a few basic guidelines, you, and everyone that reads your
posts, will be much happier in the long run.

Signatures

At the end of most articles is a small blurb called a person's
signature. In Unix this file is named .signature in the
person's login directory—it will vary for other operating systems.
It exists to provide information about how to get in touch with the
person posting the article, including their email address, phone
number, address, or where they're located. Even so, signatures have
become the graffiti of computers. People put song lyrics, pictures,
philosophical quotes, even advertisements in their ".sigs".
(Note, however, that advertising in your signature will more often
than not get you flamed until you take it out.)

Four lines will suffice—more is just extra garbage for Usenet sites
to carry along with your article, which is supposed to be the intended
focus of the reader. Netiquette dictates limiting oneself to this
"quota" of four—some people make signatures that are ten lines or
even more, including elaborate ASCII drawings of their hand-written
signature or faces or even the space shuttle. This is not
cute, and will bother people to no end.

Similarly, it's not necessary to include your signature—if you
forget to append it to an article, don't worry about it. The
article's just as good as it ever would be, and contains everything
you should want to say. Don't re-post the article just to include the
signature.

Posting Personal Messages

If mail to a person doesn't make it through, avoid posting the message
to a newsgroup. Even if the likelihood of that person reading the
group is very high, all of the other people reading the articles don't
give a whit what you have to say to Jim Morrison. Simply wait for the
person to post again and double-check the address, or get in touch
with your system administrator and see if it's a problem with local
email delivery. It may also turn out that their site is down or is
having problems, in which case it's just necessary to wait until
things return to normal before contacting Jim.

Posting Mail

In the interests of privacy, it's considered extremely bad taste to post
any email that someone may have sent, unless they explicitly give you
permission to redistribute it. While the legal issues can be heavily
debated, most everyone agrees that email should be treated as anything
one would receive via normal snailmail, {The slang for the normal land and air
postal service.} , with all of the assumed rights that are carried with it.

Test Messages

Many people, particularly new users, want to try out posting before
actually taking part in discussions. Often the mechanics of getting
messages out is the most difficult part of Usenet. To this end,
many, many users find it necessary to post their tests to "normal"
groups (for example, news.admin or comp.mail.misc). This is
considered a major netiquette faux pas in the Usenet world. There are
a number of groups available, called test groups, that exist solely
for the purpose of trying out a news system, reader, or even new
signature. They include

alt.test
gnu.gnusenet.test
misc.test

some of which will generate auto-magic replies to your posts to
let you know they made it through. There are certain denizens of
Usenet that frequent the test groups to help new users out. They
respond to the posts, often including the article so the poster can
see how it got to the person's site. Also, many regional hierarchies
have test groups, like phl.test in Philadelphia.

By all means, experiment and test—just do it in its proper place.

Famous People Appearing

Every once in a while, someone says that a celebrity is accessible
through "The Net"; or, even more entertaining, an article is forged
to appear to be coming from that celebrity. One example is Stephen
Spielberg—the rec.arts.movies readership was in an uproar for
two weeks following a couple of posts supposedly made by Mr.
Spielberg. (Some detective work revealed it to be a hoax.)

There are a few well-known people that are acquainted with
Usenet and computers in general—but the overwhelming majority are
just normal people. One should act with skepticism whenever a notable
personality is "seen" in a newsgroup.

Summaries

Authors of articles occasionally say that readers should reply by
mail and they'll summarize. Accordingly, readers should do just
that—reply via mail. Responding with a followup article to such an
article defeats the intention of the author. She, in a few days,
will post one article containing the highlights of the responses she
received. By following up to the whole group, the author may not
read what you have to say.

When creating a summary of the replies to a post, try to make it as
reader-friendly as possible. Avoid just putting all of the messages
received into one big file. Rather, take some time and edit the
messages into a form that contains the essential information that
other readers would be interested in.

Also, sometimes people will respond but request to remain anonymous
(one example is the employees of a corporation that feel the
information's not proprietary, but at the same time want to protect
themselves from political backlash). Summaries should honor this
request accordingly by listing the From: address as
anonymous or (Address withheld by request).

Quoting

When following up to an article, many newsreaders provide the facility
to quote the original article with each line prefixed by >
, as in

In article <1232@foo.bar.com>, sharon@foo.bar.com wrote:
> I agree, I think that basketweaving's really catching on,
> particularly in Pennsylvania. Here's a list of every person
> in PA that currently engages in it publicly:
line … etc …

This is a severe example (potentially a horribly long article), but
proves a point. When you quote another person, edit out whatever
isn't directly applicable to your reply. {But not changing their
words, of course. } This gives the reader of the new article a better
idea of what points you were addressing. By including the entire
article, you'll only annoy those reading it. Also, signatures in the
original aren't necessary; the readers already know who wrote it (by
the attribution).

Avoid being tedious with responses—rather than pick apart an
article, address it in parts or as a whole. Addressing practically
each and every word in an article only proves that the person
responding has absolutely nothing better to do with his time.

If a "war" starts (insults and personal comments get thrown back
and forth), take it into email—exchange email with the person
you're arguing with. No one enjoys watching people bicker
incessantly.

Crossposting

The Newsgroups: line isn't limited to just one group—an
article can be posted in a list of groups. For instance, the line

Newsgroups: sci.space,comp.simulation

posts the article to both the groups sci.space and
comp.simulation. It's usually safe to crosspost to up to three
or four groups. To list more than that is considered "excessive
noise."

It's also suggested that if an article is crossposted a
Followup-To: header be included. It should name the group to
which all additional discussion should be directed to. For the above
example a possible Followup-To: would be

Followup-To: sci.space

which would make all followups automatically be posted to just
sci.space, rather than both sci.space and comp.simulation. If every
response made with a newsreader's "followup" command should go to
the person posting the article no matter what, there's also a
mechanism worked in to accommodate. The Followup-To: header should
contain the single word poster:

Followup-To: poster

Certain newsreaders will use this to sense that a reply should never
be posted back onto The Net. This is often used with questions that
will yield a summary of information later, a vote, or an
advertisement.

Recent News

One should avoid posting "recent" events—sports scores, a plane
crash, or whatever people will see on the evening news or read in the
morning paper. By the time the article has propagated across all of
Usenet, the "news" value of the article will have become stale.
(This is one case for the argument that Usenet news is a misnomer.
{Note that the Clarinet News service (Clarinet) offers news items in
a Usenet format as a precise alternative to the morning paper, et.
al.)

Quality of Postings

How you write and present yourself in your articles is important. If
you have terrible spelling, keep a dictionary near by. If you have
trouble with grammar and punctuation, try to get a book on English
grammar and composition (found in many bookstores and at garage
sales). By all means pay attention to what you say—it makes you who
you are on The Net.

Likewise, try to be clear in what you ask. Ambiguous or vague
questions often lead to no response at all, leaving the poster
discouraged. Give as much essential information as you feel is
necessary to let people help you, but keep it within limits. For
instance, you should probably include the operating system of your
computer in the post if it's needed, but don't tell everybody what
peripherals you have hanging off of it.

Useful Subjects

The Subject: line of an article is what will first attract
people to read it—if it's vague or doesn't describe what's contained
within, no one will read the article. At the same time,
Subject: lines that're too wordy tend to be irritating. For
example:

Good
Subject: Building Emacs on a Sun Sparc under 4.1

Good
Subject: Tryin' to find Waldo in NJ.

Bad
Subject: I can't get emacs to work !!!

Bad
Subject: I'm desperately in search of the honorable Mr. Waldo in the state
of…

Simply put, try to think of what will best help the reader when he or
she encounters your article in a newsreading session.

Tone of Voice

Since common computers can't portray the inflection or tone in a
person's voice, how articles are worded can directly affect the
response to them. If you say

Anybody using a Vic-20 should go buy themselves a life.

you'll definitely get some responses—telling you to take a leap.
Rather than be inflammatory, phrase your articles in a way that
rationally expresses your opinion, like

What're the practical uses of a Vic-20 these days?

which presents yourself as a much more level-headed individual.

Also, what case (upper or lower) you use can indicate how you're
trying to speak—netiquette dictates that if you USE ALL CAPITAL
LETTERS, people will think you're "shouting." Write as you would in
a normal letter to a friend, following traditional rules of English
(or whatever language you happen to speak).

Computer Religion

No matter what kind of computer a person is using, theirs is always
the best and most efficient of them all. Posting articles
asking questions like What computer should I buy? An Atari ST or an
Amiga? will lead only to fervent arguments over the merits and
drawbacks of each brand. Don't even ask The Net—go to a local user
group, or do some research of your own like reading some magazine
reviews. Trying to say one computer is somehow better than another is
a moot point.

The Anatomy of an Article

Frequently Asked Questions

A number of groups include Frequently Asked Question (FAQ) lists,
which give the answers to questions or points that have been raised
time and time again in a newsgroup. They're intended to help cut
down on the redundant traffic in a group. For example, in the
newsgroup alt.tv.simpsons, one recurring question is Did you notice
that there's a different blackboard opening at the beginning of every
Simpsons episode? As a result, it's part of the FAQ for that group.

Usually, FAQ lists are posted at the beginning of each month, and are
set to expire one month later (when, supposedly, the next FAQ will be
published). Nearly every FAQ is also crossposted to news.answers,
which is used as a Usenet repository for them.

The Pit-Manager Archive

MIT, with Jonathan Kamens, has graciously dedicated a machine to the
archiving and storage of the various periodic postings that are
peppered throughout the various Usenet groups. To access them, FTP to
the system pit-manager.mit.edu and look in the directory
/pub/usenet.

"Be it true or false, so it be news."
Ben Jonson, News from the New World

—–
Telnet

Telnet is the main Internet protocol for creating a connection
with a remote machine. It gives the user the opportunity to be on one
computer system and do work on another, which may be across the street
or thousands of miles away. Where modems are limited, in the majority,
by the quality of telephone lines and a single connection, telnet
provides a connection that's error-free and nearly always faster than
the latest conventional modems.

Using Telnet

As with FTP (Anonymous FTP), the actual command for negotiating a telnet
connection varies from system to system. The most common is
telnet itself, though. It takes the form of:

telnet somewhere.domain

To be safe, we'll use your local system as a working example. By now,
you hopefully know your site's domain name. If not, ask or try
to figure it out. You'll not get by without it.

To open the connection, type

telnet your.system.name

If the system were wubba.cs.widener.edu, for example, the
command would look like

telnet wubba.cs.widener.edu

The system will respond with something similar to

Trying 147.31.254.999…
Connected to wubba.cs.widener.edu.
Escape character is '^]'.

The escape character, in this example ^] (Control-]), is the
character that will let you go back to the local system to close the
connection, suspend it, etc. To close this connection, the user
would type ^], and respond to the telnet> prompt with the command
close. Local documentation should be checked for information on
specific commands, functions, and escape character that can be used.

Telnet Ports

Many telnet clients also include a third option, the port on
which the connection should take place. Normally, port 23 is the
default telnet port; the user never has to think about it. But
sometimes it's desirable to telnet to a different port on a system,
where there may be a service available, or to aid in debugging a
problem. Using

telnet somewhere.domain port

will connect the user to the given port on the system
somewhere.domain. Many libraries use this port method to offer their
facilities to the general Internet community; other services are also
available. For instance, one would type

telnet martini.eecs.umich.edu 3000

to connect to the geographic server at the University of Michigan
(Geographic Server). Other such port connections follow the
same usage.

Publicly Accessible Libraries

Over the last several years, most university libraries have switched
from a manual (card) catalog system to computerized library catalogs.
The automated systems provide users with easily accessible and
up-to-date information about the books available in these libraries.
This has been further improved upon with the advent of local area
networks, dialup modems, and wide area networks. Now many of us can
check on our local library's holdings or that of a library halfway
around the world!

Many, many institutions of higher learning have made their library
catalogs available for searching by anyone on the Internet. They
include Boston University, the Colorado Alliance of Research Libraries
(CARL), and London University King's College.

To include a listing of some of the existing sites would not only be
far too long for this document, it would soon be out of date.
Instead, several lists are being maintained and are available either
by mail or via FTP. Also, the Internet Resource Guide (IRG) also
describes a few libraries that are accessible—IRG for further
information.

Art St. George and Ron Larsen are maintaining a list of
Internet-accessible libraries and databases often referred to as
"the St. George directory." It began with only library catalogs
but has expanded to include sections on campus-wide information
systems, and even bulletin board systems that are not on the
Internet. The library catalog sections are divided into those that
are free, those that charge, and international (i.e. non-U.S.)
catalogs; they are arranged by state, province, or country within
each section. There is also a section giving dialup information for
some of the library catalogs. It's available for FTP (Anonymous FTP)
on nic.cerf.net in the directory
cerfnet/cerfnet_info/library_catalog. The file internet-catalogs has
a date suffix; check for the most current date. The information is
updated periodically.

Billy Barron, Systems Manager at the University of North Texas,
produces a directory as an aid to his user community. It complements
the St. George guide by providing a standard format for all systems
which lists the Internet address, login instructions, the system
vendor, and logoff information. The arrangement is alphabetic by
organization name. It's available for FTP on vaxb.acs.unt.edu in the
subdirectory library as the file libraries.txt.

For announcements of new libraries being available and discussion on
related topics, consult the Usenet newsgroup
comp.internet.library (Usenet News to learn how to read
news).

Bulletin Board Systems

The Cleveland Freenet

Freenets are open-access, free, community computer systems. One such
system is the Cleveland Freenet, sponsored by CWRU (Case Western
Reserve University). Anyone and everyone is welcome to join and take
part in the exciting project—that of a National Telecomputing Public
Network, where everyone benefits. There's no charge for the
registration process and no charge to use the system.

To register, telnet to any one of

freenet-in-a.cwru.edu
freenet-in-b.cwru.edu
freenet-in-c.cwru.edu

After you're connected, choose the entry on the menu that signifies
you're a guest user. Another menu will follow; select Apply for
an account, and you'll be well on your way to being a FreeNet member.

You will need to fill out a form and send it to them through the
Postal Service—your login id and password will be created in a few
days. At that point you're free to use the system as you wish. They
provide multi-user chat, email, Usenet news, and a variety of other
things to keep you occupied for hours on end.

Directories

There are a few systems that are maintained to provide the Internet
community with access to lists of information—users, organizations,
etc. They range from fully dedicated computers with access to papers
and research results, to a system to find out about the faculty
members of a university.

Knowbot

Knowbot is a "master directory" that contains email address
information from the NIC WHOIS database (Whois), the PSI White
Pages Pilot Project, the NYSERNET X.500 database and MCI Mail. Most
of these services are email registries themselves, but Knowbot
provides a very comfortable way to access all of them in one place.
Telnet to nri.reston.va.us on port 185.

White Pages

PSI maintains a directory of information on individuals. It will
list the person's name, organization, and email address if it is
given. Telnet to wp.psi.net and log in as fred. The White Pages
Project also includes an interface to use Xwindows remotely.

Faculty and Staff Listings

Many universities offer access to information on current faculty and
staff. Included are:

Cornell Telnet to cuinfo.cornell.edu on port 3000.
NC State Telnet to ccvax1.cc.ncsu.edu and log in as info.
Rutgers Telnet to hangout.rutgers.edu on port 98.
U of Maryland Telnet to umail.umd.edu and log in as lookup.
UNC Chapel Hill Telnet to info.acs.unc.edu and log in as info.
Yale Telnet to yalevm.ycc.yale.edu on port 300.

Databases

For information on database services, Commercial Databases.
Not all databases on the Internet require payment for use, though.
There do exist some, largely research-driven databases, which are
publicly accessible. New ones spring up regularly.

To find out more about the databases in this section, contact the
people directly responsible for them. Their areas of concentration
and the software used to implement them are widely disparate, and are
probably beyond the author's expertise. Also, don't forget to check
with your local library—the reference librarian there can provide
information on conventional resources, and possibly even those
available over the Internet (they are becoming more common).

Colorado Alliance of Research Libraries (CARL)

The Colorado Alliance of Research Libraries (CARL), in association
with CARL Systems Inc., operates a public access catalog of services.
Offered are a number of library databases, including searches for
government periodicals, book reviews, indices for current articles,
and access to to other library databases around the country. Other
services are available to CARL members including an online
encyclopedia. Telnet to pac.carl.org, or write to help@carl.org for
more details.

PENpages

PENpages is an agriculturally-oriented database administered by
Pennsylvania State University. Information entered into PENpages is
provided by numerous sources including the Pennsylvania Dept. of
Agriculture, Rutgers University, and Penn State. Easy-to-use menus
guide users to information ranging from cattle and agricultural
prices to current weather information, from health information to
agricultural news from around the nation. A keyword search option
also allows users to search the database for related information and
articles. The database is updated daily, and a listing of most
recent additions is displayed after login. Telnet to psupen.psu.edu
and log in as the user PNOTPA.

Clemson Univ. Forestry & Agricultural Network

Clemson maintains a database similar to PENpages in content, but the
information provided tends to be localized to the Southeastern United
States. A menu-driven database offers queries involving the weather,
food, family, and human resources. Telnet to eureka.clemson.edu and
log in as PUBLIC. You need to be on a good VT100 emulator (or a real
VT terminal).

University of Maryland Info Database

The Computer Science department of the University of Maryland
maintains a repository of information on a wide variety of topics.
They wish to give a working example of how network technology can
(and should) provide as much information as possible to those who use
it. Telnet to info.umd.edu and log in as info. The information
contained in the database is accessible through a screen-oriented
interface, and everything therein is available via anonymous FTP.

There is a mailing list used to discuss the UMD Info Database,
welcoming suggestions for new information, comments on the interface
the system provides, and other related topics. Send mail to
listserv@umdd.umd.edu with a body of

subscribe INFO-L Your Full Name

Listservs for more information on using the Listserv system.

University of Michigan Weather Underground

The University of Michigan's Department of Atmospheric, Oceanic, &
Space Sciences maintains a database of weather and related
information for the United States and Canada. Available are current
weather conditions and forecasts for cities in the U.S., a national
weather summary, ski conditions, earthquake and hurricane updates,
and a listing of severe weather conditions. Telnet to
madlab.sprl.umich.edu on port 3000 to use the system.

Geographic Name Server

A geographic database listing information for cities in the United
States and some international locations is maintained by Merit, Inc.
The database is searchable by city name, zip code, etc. It will
respond with a lot of information: the area code,
elevation, time zone, and longitude and latitude are included. For
example, a query of 19013 yields

0 Chester
1 42045 Delaware
2 PA Pennsylvania
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 39 50 58 N 75 21 22 W
P 45794
E 22
Z 19013
Z 19014
Z 19015
Z 19016
..

To use the server, telnet to martini.eecs.umich.edu on port
3000. The command help will yield further instructions, along
with an explanation for each of the fields in a reponse.

FEDIX—Minority Scholarship Information

FEDIX is an on-line information service that links the higher
education community and the federal government to facilitate research,
education, and services. The system provides accurate and timely
federal agency information to colleges, universities, and other
research organizations. There are no registration fees and no access
charges for FEDIX whatsoever.

FEDIX offers the Minority On-Line Information Service (MOLIS), a
database listing current information about Black and Hispanic colleges
and universities.

Daily information updates are made on federal education and research
programs, scholarships, fellowships, and grants, available used
research equipment, and general information about FEDIX itself. To
access the database, telnet to fedix.fie.com and log in as
fedix.

Science & Technology Information System

The STIS is maintained by the National Science Foundation (NSF), and
provides access to many NSF publications. The full text of
publications can be searched online and copied from the system, which
can accommodate up to ten users at one time. Telnet to stis.nsf.gov
and log in as public. Everything on the system is also available via
anonymous FTP. For further information, contact:

STIS, Office of Information Systems, Room 401
National Science Foundation
1800 G. Street, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20550
stis-request@nsf.gov
(202) 357-7492
(202) 357-7663 (Fax)

Ocean Network Information Center

The University of Delaware College of Marine Studies offers access to
an interactive database of research information covering all aspects
of marine studies, nicknamed OCEANIC. This includes the World Oceanic
Circulation Experiment (WOCE) information and program information,
research ship schedules and information, and a Who's Who of email and
mailing addresses for oceanic studies. Data from a variety of
academic institutions based on research studies is also available.
Telnet to delocn.udel.edu and log in as INFO.

NASA/IPAC Extragalactic Database (NED)

The NASA/IPAC Extragalactic Database (NED) is an ongoing project,
funded by NASA, to make data and literature on extragalactic objects
available over computer networks. NED is an object-oriented database
which contains extensive information for nearly 132,000 extragalactic
objects taken from about major catalogs of galaxies, quasars, infrared
and radio sources. NED provides positions, names, and other basic
data (e.g. magnitude types, sizes and redshifts as well as
bibliographic references and abstracts). Searches can be done by
name, around a name, and on an astronomical position. NED contains a
tutorial which guides the user through the retrieval process. Telnet
to ipac.caltech.edu and log in as ned.

U.S. Naval Observatory Automated Data Service

Operated by the U.S. Naval Observatory in Washington, D.C., this
automated data service provides database access to information
ranging from current navigational satellite positioning, astronomical
data, and software utilities. A wide variety of databases can be
searched and instructions for file transfer are given. Telnet to
tycho.usno.navy.mil and log in as ads.

"My consciousness suddenly switched locations, for the first time in
my life, from the vicinity of my head and body to a point about
twenty feet away from where I normally see the world." Howard
Rheingold, Virtual Reality p255

—————–
Various Tools

New and interesting ways to use the Internet are being dreamed up
every day. As they gain wide-spread use, some methods become
near-standard (or actual written standard) tools for Internet users to
take advantage of. A few are detailed here; there are undoubtedly
others, and new ideas spring up all the time. An active user of the
Internet will discover most of the more common ones in time. Usually,
these services are free. Commercial Services for applications
that are commercially available over the Internet.

Usenet is often used to announce a new service or capability on
the Internet. In particular, the groups comp.archives and
comp.protocols.tcp-ip are good places to look. Information
will drift into other areas as word spreads. Usenet News for
information on reading news.

Finger

On many systems there exists the finger command, which yield
information about each user that's currently logged in. This command
also has extensions for use over the Internet, as well. Under normal
circumstances, the command is simply finger for a summary of who's
logged into the local system, or finger username for specific
information about a user. It's also possible to go one step further
and go onto the network. The general usage is

finger @hostname

To see who's currently logged in at Widener University, for instance, use

% finger @cs.widener.edu
[cs.widener.edu]
Login Name TTY Idle When Where
brendan Brendan Kehoe p0 Fri 02:14 tattoo.cs.widene
sven Sven Heinicke p1 Fri 04:16 xyplex3.cs.widen

To find out about a certain user, they can be fingered specifically
(and need not be logged in):

% finger bart@cs.widener.edu
[cs.widener.edu]
Login name: bart In real life: Bart Simpson
Directory: /home/springfield/bart Shell: /bin/underachiever
Affiliation: Brother of Lisa Home System: channel29.fox.org
Last login Thu May 23 12:14 (EDT) on ttyp6 from channel29.fox.org.
No unread mail
Project: To become a "fluff" cartoon character.
Plan:
Don't have a cow, man.

Please realize that some sites are very security conscious, and need
to restrict the information about their systems and users available
to the outside world. To that end, they often block finger requests
from outside sites—so don't be surprised if fingering a computer or
a user returns with Connection refused.

Internet Relay Chat

The Lamont View Server System
On lamont.ldgo.columbia.edu in pub/gb.tar.Z.

Ping

The ping command allows the user to check if another system is
currently "up" and running. The general form of the command
is ping system. {The usage will, again, vary.}
For example,

ping cs.widener.edu

will tell you if the main machine in Widener University's Computer
Science lab is currently online (we certainly hope so!).

Many implementations of ping also include an option to let you
see how fast a link is running (to give you some idea of the load on
the network). For example:

% ping -s cs.swarthmore.edu
PING cs.swarthmore.edu: 56 data bytes
64 bytes from 130.58.68.1: icmp_seq=0 ttl=251 time=66 ms
64 bytes from 130.58.68.1: icmp_seq=1 ttl=251 time=45 ms
64 bytes from 130.58.68.1: icmp_seq=2 ttl=251 time=46 ms
^C
— cs.swarthmore.edu ping statistics —
3 packets transmitted, 3 packets received, 0% packet loss
round-trip min/avg/max = 45/52/66 ms

This case tells us that for cs.swarthmore.edu it takes about 46
milliseconds for a packet to go from Widener to Swarthmore College and
back again. It also gives the average and worst-case speeds, and any
packet loss that may have occurred (e.g. because of network
congestion).

While ping generally doesn't hurt network performance, you
shouldn't use it too often—usually once or twice will leave
you relatively sure of the other system's state.

Talk

Sometimes email is clumsy and difficult to manage when one really
needs to have an interactive conversation. The Internet provides for
that as well, in the form of talk. Two users can literally see
each other type across thousands of miles.

To talk with Bart Simpson at Widener, one would type

talk bart@@cs.widener.edu

which would cause a message similar to the following to be displayed
on Bart's terminal:

Message from Talk_Daemon@cs.widener.edu at 21:45 …
talk: connection requested by joe@ee.someplace.edu
talk: respond with: talk joe@ee.someplace.edu

Bart would, presumably, respond by typing talk joe@ee.someplace.edu.
They could then chat about whatever they wished, with instantaneous
response time, rather than the write-and-wait style of email. To
leave talk, on many systems one would type Ctrl-C (hold down
the Control key and press C). Check local documentation to be sure.

There are two different versions of talk in common use today. The
first, dubbed "old talk," is supported by a set of Unix systems
(most notably, those currently sold by Sun). The second, ntalk
(aka "new talk"), is more of the standard. If, when attempting to
talk with another user, it responds with an error about protocol
families, odds are the incompatibilities between versions of talk is
the culprit. It's up to the system administrators of sites which use
the old talk to install ntalk for their users.

Wide Area Information Servers (WAIS)

The WHOIS Database

The main WHOIS database is run at the Network Information Center
(NIC). The whois command will let you search a database of every
registered domain (e.g. mit.edu) and of registered users. It's
primarily used by system postmasters or listowners to find the Points
of Contact for a site, to let them know of a problem or contact them
for one reason or another. You can also find out their postal
address. For example:

% whois mit.edu
Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) MIT.EDU 18.72.2.1
Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT-DOM) MIT.EDU

Note that there are two entries for mit.edu; we'll go for the
second.

% whois mit-dom
Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT-DOM)
Cambridge, MA 02139

Domain Name: MIT.EDU

Administrative Contact, Technical Contact, Zone Contact:
Schiller, Jeffrey I. (JIS) JIS@MIT.EDU
(617) 253-8400

Record last updated on 22-Jun-88.

Domain servers in listed order:
STRAWB.MIT.EDU 18.71.0.151
W20NS.MIT.EDU 18.70.0.160
BITSY.MIT.EDU 18.72.0.3
LITHIUM.LCS.MIT.EDU 18.26.0.121

To see this host record with registered users, repeat the command with
a star ('*') before the name; or, use '%' to show JUST the registered users.

Much better! Now this information (sought, possibly, by a system
administrator) can be used to find out how to notify MIT of a security
issue or problem with connectivity.

Queries can be made for individuals as well; the following would yield
an entry for the author:

% whois brendan
Kehoe, Brendan (BK59) brendan@cs.widener.edu
Widener University
Department of Computer Science
Kirkbride 219
P.O. Box 83 Widener University
Chester, PA 19013
(215)/499-4011

Record last updated on 02-May-91.

Included is the author's name, his handle (a unique sequence of letters
and numbers), information on how to contact him, and the last time the record
was modified in any way.

Anyone can register with the whois database. People who are
administrative or technical contacts for domains are registered
automatically when their domain applications are processed. For
normal users, one must simply fill out a form from the NIC. FTP to
nic.ddn.mil and get the file netinfo/user-template.txt. The completed
form should be mailed to registrar@nic.ddn.mil.

Other Uses of WHOIS

Also, many educational sites run WHOIS servers of their own, to offer
information about people who may be currently on the staff or
attending the institution. To specify a WHOIS server, many
implementations include some sort of option or qualifier—in VMS
under MultiNet, it's /HOST, in Unix -h. To receive
information about using the Stanford server, one might use the command

whois -h stanford.edu help

A large list of systems offering WHOIS services is being maintained by
Matt Power of MIT (mhpower@stan.mit.edu). It is available via
anonymous FTP from sipb.mit.edu, in the directory
pub/whois. The file is named whois-servers.list.

The systems available include, but are certainly not limited to,
Syracuse University (syr.edu), New York University
(acfcluster.nyu.edu), the University of California at San Diego
(ucsd.edu), and Stanford University (stanford.edu).

"Fingers were made before forks."
Jonathan Swift, Polite Conversation

——-
Commercial Services

Many services can be accessed through the Internet. As time
progresses and more outlets for commercial activity appear,
once-restricted traffic (by the NSFnet Acceptable Use Policy) may now
flow freely. Now that there are other networks for that information
to travel on, businesses are making their move.

Internet Service Providers

Providers (AlterNet, PSI, etc)…

Supercomputers
The Internet Resource Guide (IRG) contains a chapter on
computer time that's available for a fee. Rather than reproduce it
here, which would fast become out-of-date as well as triple the size
of this guide, it's suggested that the reader consult the IRG if such
services are of interest.

Electronic Journals

The Association of Research Libraries (ARL) publishes a hard-copy
directory of electronic journals, newsletters, and scholarly
discussion lists. It is a compilation of entries for hundreds of

sts, dozens of journals and newsletters, and a many
"other" titles, including newsletter-digests, into one reference
source. Each entry includes instructions on how to access the
referenced publication or list.

The documents are available electronically by sending the commands

get ejournl1 directry
get ejournl2 directry

to the server at LISTSERV@OTTAWA.BITNET.
Listservs for further instructions on using a listserv.

The directory, along with a compilation by Diane Kovacs called
Directories of Academic E-Mail Conferences, is available in
print and on diskette (DOS WordPerfect and MacWord) from:

Office of Scientific & Academic Publishing
Association of Research Libraries
1527 New Hampshire Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20036
ARLHQ@UMDC.BITNET
(202) 232–2466
(202) 462–7849 (Fax)

The ARL is a not-for-profit organization representing over one
hundred research libraries in the United States and Canada. The
publication is available to ARL members for $10 and to non-members
for $20 (add $5 postage per directory for foreign addresses). Orders
of six or more copies will receive a 10% discount; all orders must be
prepaid and sent to the ARL.

Commercial Databases

The American Institute of Physics maintains the Physics Information
Network. It contains the bibliographic SPIN and General Physics
Advanced Abstracts databases. Also available is access to bulletin
boards and several searchable lists (job notices, announcements, etc).
Telnet to pinet.aip.org; new users must log in as NEW
and give registration information.

Some of the databases accessible through WAIS (WAIS) are
available for a fee.

Clarinet News

Clarinet's an electronic publishing network service that provides
professional news and information, including live UPI wireservice
news, in the Usenet file format.

Clarinet lets you read an "electronic newspaper" right on the local
system; you can get timely industry news, technology related
wirestories, syndicated columns and features, financial information,
stock quotes and more.

Clarinet's provided by using the Usenet message interchange format,
and is available via UUCP and other delivery protocols, including
NNTP.

The main feature is ClariNews, an "electronic newspaper,"
gathered live from the wire services of United Press International
(UPI). ClariNews articles are distributed in 100 newsgroups based on
their subject matter, and are keyworded for additional topics and the
geographical location of the story. ClariNews includes headlines,
industry news, box scores, network TV schedules, and more. The main
products of ClariNews are:

ClariNews General, the general news"paper" with news,
sports, and features, averaging about 400 stories per day.

TechWire, special groups for stories on science,
technology, and industry stories around them.

ClariNews-Biz, business and financial stories.

Newsbytes, a daily computer industry newsmagazine.

Syndicated Columns, including Dave Barry (humor) and Mike
Royko (opinion).

Full information on ClariNet, including subscription information, is
available from

Clarinet Communications Corp.
124 King St. North
Waterloo, Ontario N2J 2X8
info@@clarinet.com
(800) USE-NETS

or with anonymous FTP in the directory /Clarinet on
ftp.uu.net (Anonymous FTP).

"Needless to say, Aristotle did not envisage modern finance."
Frederick Copleston, S.J.
A History of Philosophy: Vol 1 Greece & Rome Part II, p95

———
Things You'll Hear About

There are certain things that you'll hear about shortly after you
start actively using the Internet. Most people assume that everyone's
familiar with them, and they require no additional explanation. If
only that were true!

This section addresses a few topics that are commonly encountered and
asked about as a new user explores Cyberspace. Some of them are
directly related to how the networks are run today; other points are
simply interesting to read about.

The Internet Worm

from a letter by Severo M. Ornstein, in ACM June 89 Vol32 No6
and the appeal notice

On November 2, 1988, Robert Morris, Jr., a graduate student in
Computer Science at Cornell, wrote an experimental, self-replicating,
self-propagating program called a worm and injected it into the
Internet. He chose to release it from MIT, to disguise the fact that
the worm came from Cornell. Morris soon discovered that the program
was replicating and reinfecting machines at a much faster rate than
he had anticipated—there was a bug. Ultimately, many machines at
locations around the country either crashed or became "catatonic."
When Morris realized what was happening, he contacted a friend at
Harvard to discuss a solution. Eventually, they sent an anonymous
message from Harvard over the network, instructing programmers how to
kill the worm and prevent reinfection. However, because the network
route was clogged, this message did not get through until it was too
late. Computers were affected at many sites, including universities,
military sites, and medical research facilities. The estimated cost
of dealing with the worm at each installation ranged from $200 to
more than $53,000. {Derived in part from a letter by Severo M.
Ornstein, in the Communications of the ACM, Vol 32 No 6, June 1989.}

The program took advantage of a hole in the debug mode of the Unix
sendmail program, which runs on a system and waits for other systems
to connect to it and give it email, and a hole in the finger daemon
fingerd, which serves finger requests (Finger). People at the
University of California at Berkeley and MIT had copies of the
program and were actively disassembling it (returning the program
back into its source form) to try to figure out how it worked.

Teams of programmers worked non-stop to come up with at least a
temporary fix, to prevent the continued spread of the worm. After
about twelve hours, the team at Berkeley came up with steps that
would help retard the spread of the virus. Another method was also
discovered at Purdue and widely published. The information didn't
get out as quickly as it could have, however, since so many sites had
completely disconnected themselves from the network.

After a few days, things slowly began to return to normalcy and
everyone wanted to know who had done it all. Morris was later named
in The New York Times as the author (though this hadn't yet been
officially proven, there was a substantial body of evidence pointing
to Morris).

Robert T. Morris was convicted of violating the computer Fraud and
Abuse Act (Title 18), and sentenced to three years of probation, 400
hours of community service, a fine of $10,050, and the costs of his
supervision. His appeal, filed in December, 1990, was rejected the
following March.

The Cuckoo's Egg

First in an article entitled "Stalking the Wily Hacker," and later
in the book The Cuckoo's Egg, Clifford Stoll detailed his experiences
trying to track down someone breaking into a system at Lawrence
Berkeley Laboratory in California. {See the bibliography for full
citations.}

A 75-cent discrepancy in the Lab's accounting records led Stoll on a
chase through California, Virginia, and Europe to end up in a small
apartment in Hannover, West Germany. Stoll dealt with many levels of
bureaucracy and red tape, and worked with the FBI, the CIA, and the
German Bundespost trying to track his hacker down.

The experiences of Stoll, and particularly his message in speaking
engagements, have all pointed out the dire need for communication
between parties on a network of networks. The only way everyone can
peacefully co-exist in Cyberspace is by ensuring rapid recognition of
any existing problems.

Organizations

The indomitable need for humans to congregate and share their common
interests is also present in the computing world. User groups
exist around the world, where people share ideas and experiences.
Similarly, there are organizations which are one step "above" user
groups; that is to say, they exist to encourage or promote an idea or
set of ideas, rather than support a specific computer or application
of computers.

The Association for Computing Machinery

The Association for Computing Machinery (the ACM) was founded in
1947, immediately after Eckert and Mauchly unveiled one of the first
electronic computers, the ENIAC, in 1946. Since then, the ACM has
grown by leaps and bounds, becoming one of the leading educational
and scientific societies in the computer industry.

The ACM's stated purposes are:

To advance the sciences and arts of information processing;

To promote the free interchange of information about the sciences and
arts of information processing both among specialists and among the
public;

To develop and maintain the integrity and competence of individuals
engaged in the practices of the sciences and arts of information
processing.

Membership in the ACM has grown from seventy-eight in September, 1947,
to over 77,000 today. There are local chapters around the world, and
many colleges and universities endorse student chapters. Lecturers
frequent these meetings, which tend to be one step above the normal
"user group" gathering. A large variety of published material is
also available at discounted prices for members of the association.

The ACM has a number of Special Interest Groups (SIGs) that
concentrate on a certain area of computing, ranging from graphics to
the Ada programming language to security. Each of the SIGs also
publishes its own newsletter. There is a Usenet group, comp.org.acm,
for the discussion of ACM topics. Usenet News for more information
on reading news.

For more information and a membership application, write to:

Assocation for Computing Machinery
1515 Broadway
New York City, NY 10036
ACMHELP@ACMVM.BITNET
(212) 869-7440

Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility
from their letter to prospective members

The CPSR is an alliance of computer professionals concentrating on
certain areas of the impact of computer technology on society. It
traces its history to the fall of 1981, when several researchers in
Palo Alto, California, organized a lunch meeting to discuss their
shared concerns about the connection between computing and the
nuclear arms race. Out of that meeting and the discussions which
followed, CPSR was born, and has been active ever since. {This
section is part of the CPSR's letter to prospective members.}

The national CPSR program focuses on the following project areas:

Reliability and Risk This area reflects on the concern that
overreliance on computing technology can lead to unacceptable risks
to society. It includes, but isn't limited to, work in analyzing
military systems such as SDI.

Civil Liberties and Privacy This project is concerned with such
topics as the FBI National Crime Information Center, the growing use
of databases by both government and private industry, the right of
access to public information, extension of First Amendment rights to
electronic communication, and establishing legal protections for
privacy of computerized information.

Computers in the Workplace The CPSR Workplace Project has
concentrated its attention on the design of software for the
workplace, and particularly on the philosophy of "participatory
design," in which software designers work together with users to
ensure that systems meet the actual needs of that workplace.

The 21st Century Project This is a coalition with other
professional organizations working towards redirecting national
research priorities from concentrating on military issues to
anticipating and dealing with future problems as science and
technology enter the next century.

For more information on the CPSR, contact them at:

Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility
P.O. Box 717
Palo Alto, CA 94302
cpsr@csli.stanford.edu
(415) 322–3778
(415) 322–3798 (Fax)

The Electronic Frontier Foundation

The Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) was established to help
civilize the "electronic frontier"—the Cyberspacial medium
becoming ever-present in today's society; to make it truly useful and
beneficial not just to a technical elite, but to everyone; and to do
this in a way which is in keeping with the society's highest
traditions of the free and open flow of information and
communication. {This section was derived from eff.about, available
along with other material via anonymous FTP from ftp.eff.org}

The mission of the EFF is to engage in and support educational
activities which increase popular understanding of the opportunities
and challenges posed by developments in computing and
telecommunications;

to develop among policy-makers a better understanding of the
issues underlying free and open telecommunications, and support the
creation of legal and structural approaches which will ease the
assimilation of these new technologies by society;

to raise public awareness about civil liberties issues arising from
the rapid advancement in the area of new computer-based
communications media and, where necessary, support litigation in the
public interest to preserve, protect, and extend First Amendment
rights within the realm of computing and telecommunications
technology;

to encourage and support the development of new tools which will
endow non-technical users with full and easy access to computer-based
telecommunications;

The Usenet newsgroups comp.org.eff.talk and comp.org.eff.news are
dedicated to discussion concerning the EFF. They also have mailing
list counterparts for those that don't have access to Usenet,
eff-talk-request@eff.org and eff-news-request@eff.org. The first is
an informal arena (aka a normal newsgroup) where anyone may voice his
or her opinions. The second, comp.org.eff.news, is a moderated area
for regular postings from the EFF in the form of EFFector Online. To
submit a posting for the EFFector Online, or to get general
information about the EFF, write to eff@eff.org. There is also a
wealth of information available via anonymous FTP on ftp.eff.org.

The EFF can be contacted at

The Electronic Frontier Foundation, Inc.
155 Second St. #1
Cambridge, MA 02141
eff@eff.org
(617) 864-0665
(617) 864-0866 (Fax)

The Free Software Foundation

The Free Software Foundation was started by Richard Stallman (creator
of the popular GNU Emacs editor). It is dedicated to eliminating
restrictions on copying, redistributing, and modifying software.

The word "free" in their name does not refer to price; it refers to
freedom. First, the freedom to copy a program and redistribute it to
your neighbors, so that they can use it as well as you. Second, the
freedom to change a program, so that you can control it instead of it
controlling you; for this, the source code must be made available to
you.

The Foundation works to provide these freedoms by developing free
compatible replacements for proprietary software. Specifically, they
are putting together a complete, integrated software system called
"GNU" that is upward-compatible with Unix. {As an aside, the editor
of the GNU project, emacs, contains a built-in LISP interpreter and a
large part of its functionality is written in LISP. The name GNU is
itself recursive (the mainstay of the LISP language); it stands for
"Gnu's Not Unix."}

When it is released, everyone will be permitted to copy it and
distribute it to others. In addition, it will be distributed with
source code, so you will be able to learn about operating systems by
reading it, to port it to your own machine, and to exchange the
changes with others.

For more information on the Free Software Foundation and the status of
the GNU Project, or for a list of the current tasks that still need to
be done, write to gnu@prep.ai.mit.edu.

The IEEE

Need IEEE…

The League for Programming Freedom

The League for Programming Freedom is a grass-roots organization of
professors, students, businessmen, programmers and users dedicated to
"bringing back" the freedom to write programs, which they contend
has been lost over the past number years. The League is not opposed
to the legal system that Congress intended–copyright on individual
programs. Their aim is to reverse the recent changes made by judges in
response to special interests, often explicitly rejecting the public
interest principles of the Constitution.

The League works to abolish the new monopolies by publishing articles,
talking with public officials, boycotting egregious offenders, and in
the future may intervene in court cases. On May 24, 1989, the League
picketed Lotus headquarters because of their lawsuits, and then
again on August 2, 1990. These marches stimulated widespread media
coverage for the issue. They welcome suggestions for other
activities, as well as help in carrying them out.

For information on the League and how to join, write to

League for Programming Freedom
1 Kendall Square #143
P.O. Box 9171
Cambridge, MA 02139
league@prep.ai.mit.edu

Networking Initiatives

Research and development are two buzz words often heard when
discussing the networking field—everything needs to go faster, over
longer distances, for a lower cost. To "keep current," one should
read the various trade magazines and newspapers, or frequent the
networking-oriented newsgroups of Usenet. If possible, attend trade
shows and symposia like Usenix, Interop, et. al.

ISDN

NREN

The National Research and Education Network (NREN) is a five-year
project approved by Congress in the Fall of 1991. It's intended to
create a national electronic "super-highway." The NREN will be 50
times faster than the fastest available networks (at the time of this
writing). Proponents of the NREN claim it will be possible to
transfer the equivalent of the entire text of the Encyclopedia
Britannica in one second. Further information, including the
original text of the bill presented by Senator Al Gore (D–TN), is
available through anonymous FTP to nis.nsf.net, in the directory
nsfnet. In addition, Vint Cerf wrote on the then-proposed NREN in
RFC-1167, Thoughts on the National Research and Education Network.
RFCs for information on obtaining RFCs.

A mailing list, nren-discuss@uu.psi.com, is available for
discussion of the NREN; write to
nren-discuss-request@uu.psi.com to be added.

"To talk in publick, to think in solitude,
to read and to hear, to inquire,
and to answer inquiries, is the business of a scholar."
Samuel Johnson
Chapter VIII
The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia

—–
Finding Out More

Internet Resource Guide

The NSF Network Service Center (NNSC) compiles and makes available an
Internet Resource Guide (IRG). The goal of the guide is to increase the
visibility of various Internet resources that may help users do their
work better. While not yet an exhaustive list, the guide is a useful
compendium of many resources and can be a helpful reference for a new
user.

Resources listed are grouped by types into sections. Current sections
include descriptions of online library catalogs, data archives, online
white pages directory services, networks, network information centers,
and computational resources, such as supercomputers. Each entry
describes the resource, identifies who can use the resource, explains
how to reach the local network via the Internet, and lists contacts
for more information. The list is distributed electronically by the
NNSC. To receive a guide, or to get on a mailing list that alerts you
to when it is updated, send a message to
resource-guide-request@nnsc.nsf.net.

The current edition of the IRG is available via anonymous FTP from
nnsc.nsf.net, in the directory /resource-guide.

Requests for Comments

The internal workings of the Internet are defined by a set of
documents called RFCs (Request for Comments). The general process
for creating an RFC is for someone wanting something formalized to
write a document describing the issue and mailing it to Jon Postel
(postel@isi.edu). He acts as a referee for the proposal. It is then
commented upon by all those wishing to take part in the discussion
(electronically, of course). It may go through multiple revisions.
Should it be generally accepted as a good idea, it will be assigned a
number and filed with the RFCs.

The RFCs can be divided into five groups: required, suggested,
directional, informational and obsolete. Required RFCs (e.g.,
RFC-791, The Internet Protocol) must be implemented on any host
connected to the Internet.

Suggested RFCs are generally implemented by network hosts. Lack of
them does not preclude access to the Internet, but may impact its
usability. RFC-793, Transmission Control Protocol, is a must for
those implementing TCP.

Directional RFCs were discussed and agreed to, but their application
has never come into wide use. This may be due to the lack of wide
need for the specific application (RFC-937, The Post Office Protocol) or
that, although technically superior, ran against other pervasive
approaches (RFC-891, Hello). It is suggested that, should the facility
be required by a particular site, an implementation be done in
accordance with the RFC. This ensures that, should the idea be one
whose time has come, the implementation will be in accordance with
some standard and will be generally usable.

Informational RFCs contain factual information about the Internet and
its operation (RFC-990, Assigned Numbers).

There is also a subset of RFCs called FYIs (For Your Information).
They are written in a language much more informal than that used in
the other, standard RFCs. Topics range from answers to common
questions for new and experienced users to a suggested bibliography.

Finally, as the Internet has grown and technology has changed, some
RFCs become unnecessary. These obsolete RFCs cannot be ignored,
however. Frequently when a change is made to some RFC that causes a
new one to obsolete others, the new RFC only contains explanations and
motivations for the change. Understanding the model on which the
whole facility is based may involve reading the original and
subsequent RFCs on the topic.

RFCs and FYIs are available via FTP from many sources, including:

The nic.ddn.mil archive, as /rfc/rfc-xxxx.txt, where
xxxx is the number of the RFC.

from ftp.uu.net, in the directory /RFC.

They're also available through mail by writing to
service@nic.ddn.mil, with a Subject: line of send RFC-xxxx.TXT, again
with xxxx being the RFC number.

"Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we
know where we can find information upon it."
Samuel Johnson
Letter to Lord Chesterfield
February, 1755
a book of quotes said April 18, 1775 .. the book of Johnson's works
said it's 1755; I'll go with the latter.

——-
Conclusion

This guide is far from complete—the Internet changes on a daily (if
not hourly) basis. However, this booklet should provide enough
information to make the incredible breadth and complexity of the
Internet a mite less imposing. Coupled with some exploration and
experimentation, every user has the potential to be a competent net
citizen, using the facilities that are available to their fullest.

You, the reader, are strongly encouraged to suggest improvements to
any part of this booklet. If something was unclear, left you with
doubts, or wasn't addressed, it should be fixed. If you find any
problems, inaccuracies, spelling errors, etc., please report them to:

Brendan Kehoe
Department of Computer Science
Widener University
Chester, PA 19013

Internet: guide-bugs@cs.widener.edu
UUCP: …!widener!guide-bugs

If you are interested in future updates to this guide (aside from
normal new editions), discussion about information to be included or
removed, etc., write to guide-request@cs.widener.edu to be placed on
a mailing list for such things.

@dots is actually `. . . .'
"I've seed de first an de last @dots I seed de beginnin,
en now I sees de endin."
William Faulkner
The Sound & The Fury
April 8, 1928

——–

Getting to Other Networks

Inter-connectivity has been and always will be one of the biggest
goals in computer networking. The ultimate desire is to make it so
one person can contact anyone else no matter where they are. A number
of "gateways" between networks have been set up. They include:

AppleLink
Quantum Services sells access to AppleLink, which is similar to
QuantumLink for Commodore computers and PCLink for IBM PCs and
compatibles. It also provides email access through the address
user@applelink.apple.com.

ATTMail
AT&T sells a commercial email service called ATTMail. Its users
can be reached by writing to user@attmail.com.

BIX
Users on BIX (the Byte Information eXchange) can be reached
through the DAS gateway at user@cibix.das.net.

CompuServe (CI$)
To reach a user on the commercial service CompuServe, you must
address the mail as xxxxx.xxx@compuserve.com, with
xxxxx.xxx being their CompuServe user ID. Normally CompuServe
ids are represented as being separated by a comma (like
71999,141); since most mailers don't react well to having
commas in addresses, it was changed to a period. For the above
address, mail would be sent to 71999.141@compuserve.com.

EasyNet
Digital sells a service called EasyNet; users that subscribe to it can
be reached with the addresses user@host.enet.dec.com or
user%host.enet@decwrl.dec.com.

FidoNet
The FidoNet computer network can be reached by using a special
addressing method. If John Smith is on the node 1:2/3.4 on
FidoNet, his or her email address would be
john.smith@p4.f3.n2.z1.fidonet.org
(notice how the numbers fall in place?).

MCI Mail
MCI also sells email accounts (similar to ATTMail). Users can be
reached with user@mcimail.com.

PeaceNet
Users on the PeaceNet network can be reached by writing to
user@igc.org.

The Well
Users on the service The Well can be reached by writing to
user@well.sf.ca.us. The Well is directly connected to the Internet.

This table is far from complete. In addition to sites not being
listed, some services are not (nor do they plan to be) accessible
from the "outside" (like Prodigy); others, like GEnie, are actively
investigating the possibility of creating a gateway into their
system. For the latest information, consult a list called the
Inter-Network Mail Guide. It's available from a number of FTP sites,
including UUNET; Anonymous FTP, for more information on getting a
copy of it using anonymous FTP.

Retrieving Files via Email

For those who have a connection to the Internet, but cannot FTP, there
do exist a few alternatives to get those files you so desperately
need. When requesting files, it's imperative that you keep in mind
the size of your request—odds are the other people who may be using
your link won't be too receptive to sudden bursts of really heavy
traffic on their normally sedate connection.

Archive Servers

An alternative to the currently well over-used FTPmail system is
taking advantage of the many archive servers that are presently
being maintained. These are programs that receive email messages that
contain commands, and act on them. For example, sending an archive
server the command help will usually yield, in the form of a
piece of email, information on how to use the various commands that
the server has available.

One such archive server is service@nic.ddn.mil. Maintained by
the Network Information Center (NIC) in Chantilly, VA, the server is
set up to make all of the information at the NIC available for people
who don't have access to FTP. This also includes the WHOIS service
(Whois). Some sample Subject: lines for queries to the
NIC server are:

Subject: help Describes available commands.
Subject: rfc 822 Sends a copy of RFC-822.
Subject: rfc index Sends an index of the available RFCs.
Subject: netinfo domain-template.txt Sends a domain application.
Subject: whois widener Sends WHOIS information on `widener'.

More information on using their archive server can be obtained by
writing to their server address service@nic.ddn.mil with a
Subject: of help.

There are different "brands" of archive server, each with its own
set of commands and services. Among them there often exists a common
set of commands and services (e.g. index, help, etc).
Be that as it may, one should always consult the individual help for a
specific server before assuming the syntax—100K surprises can be
hard on a system.

FTP-by-Mail Servers
Some systems offer people the ability to receive files through a
mock-FTP interface via email. Anonymous FTP for a general overview of
how to FTP. The effects of providing such a service varies, although
a rule of thumb is that it will probably use a substantial amount of
the available resources on a system.

The "original" FTP-by-Mail service, BITFTP, is available to BITNET
users from the Princeton node PUCC. It was once accessible to
anyone, but had to be closed out to non-BITNET users because of the
heavy load on the system.

In response to this closure, Paul Vixie designed and installed a
system called FTPmail on one of Digital's gateway computers,
decwrl.dec.com. Write to ftpmail@decwrl.dec.com with help in the
body of the letter for instructions on its use. The software is
undergoing constant development; once it reaches a stable state,
other sites will be encouraged to adopt it and provide the service
also.

Newsgroup Creation

Everyone has the opportunity to make a Call For Votes on the
Usenet and attempt to create a newsgroup that he/she feels would be of
benefit to the general readership. The rules governing newsgroup
creation have evolved over the years into a generally accepted method.
They only govern the "world" groups; they aren't applicable to
regional or other alternative hierarchies.

Discussion

A discussion must first take place to address issues like the naming
of the group, where in the group tree it should go (e.g.
rec.sports.koosh vs rec.games.koosh?), and whether or not it should
be created in the first place. The formal Request For Discussion
(RFD) should be posted to news.announce.newgroups, along with any
other groups or mailing lists at all related to the proposed topic.
news.announce.newgroups is moderated. You should place it first in
the Newsgroups: header, so that it will get mailed to the moderator
only. The article won't be immediately posted to the other
newsgroups listed; rather, it will give you the opportunity to have
the moderator correct any inconsistencies or mistakes in your RFD.
He or she will take care of posting it to the newsgroups you
indicated. Also the Followup-To: header will be set so that the
actual discussion takes place only in news.groups. If a user has
difficulty posting to a moderated group, he or she may mail
submissions intended for news.announce.newgroups to the address
announce-newgroups@rpi.edu.

The final name and charter of the group, and whether it will be
moderated or unmoderated, will be determined during the discussion
period. If it's to be moderated, the discussion will also decide who
the moderator will be. If there's no general agreement on these
points among those in favor of a new group at the end of 30 days,
the discussion will be taken into mail rather than continued posting
to news.groups; that way, the proponents of the group can iron out
their differences and come back with a proper proposal, and make
a new Request For Discussion.

Voting
After the discussion period (which is mandatory), if it's been
determined that a new group really is desired, a name and charter are
agreed upon, and it's been determined whether the group will be
moderated (and by whom), a Call For Votes (CFV) should be posted
to news.announce.newgroups, along with any other groups that
the original Request For Discussion was posted to. The CFV should be
posted (or mailed to the news.announce.newgroups moderator) as
soon as possible after the discussion ends (to keep it fresh in
everyone's mind).

The Call for Votes should include clear instructions on how to cast a
vote. It's important that it be clearly explained how to both vote
for and against a group (and be of equivalent difficulty or
ease). If it's easier for you or your administrator, two separate
addresses can be used to mail yes and no votes to, providing that
they're on the same machine. Regardless of the method, everyone
must have a very specific idea of how to get his/her vote counted.

The voting period can last between 21 and 31 days, no matter what the
preliminary results of the vote are. A vote can't be called off
simply because 400 "no" votes have come in and only two "yes"
votes. The Call for Votes should include the exact date that the
voting period will end—only those votes arriving on the vote-taker's
machine before this date can be counted.

To keep awareness high, the CFV can be repeated during the vote,
provided that it gives the same clear, unbiased instructions for
casting a vote as the original; it also has to be the same proposal as
was first posted. The charter can't change in mid-vote. Also, votes
that're posted don't count—only those that were mailed to the
vote-taker can be tallied.

Partial results should never be included; only a statement of
the specific proposal, that a vote is in progress on it, and how to
cast a vote. A mass acknowledgement ("Mass ACK" or "Vote ACK") is
permitted; however, it must be presented in a way that gives no
indication of which way a person voted. One way to avoid this is to
create one large list of everyone who's voted, and sort it in
alphabetical order. It should not be two sorted lists (of the yes and
no votes, respectively).

Every vote is autonomous. The votes for or against one group can't be
transferred to another, similar proposal. A vote can only count for
the exact proposal that it was a response to. In particular, a vote
for or against a newsgroup under one name can't be counted as a vote
for or against another group with a different name or charter, a
different moderated/unmoderated status, or, if it's moderated, a
different moderator or set of moderators. Whew!

Finally, the vote has to be explicit; they should be of the form I
vote for the group foo.bar as proposed or I vote against the group
foo.bar as proposed. The wording doesn't have to be exact, your
intention just has to be clear.

The Result of a Vote

At the end of the voting period, the vote-taker has to post (to
news.announce.newgroups) the tally and email addresses of the votes
received. Again, it can also be posted to any of the groups listed in
the original CFV. The tally should make clear which way a person
voted, so the results can be verified if it proves necessary to do so.

After the vote result is posted to news.announce.newgroups,
there is a mandatory five-day waiting period. This affords everyone
the opportunity to correct any errors or inconsistencies in the voter
list or the voting procedure.

Creation of the Group

If, after the waiting period, there are no serious objections that
might invalidate the vote, the vote is put to the "water test." If
there were 100 more valid YES/create votes than NO/don't create
votes, and at least two-thirds of the total number of votes are in
favor of creation, then a newgroup control message can be sent out
(often by the moderator of news.announce.newgroups). If the 100-vote
margin or the two-thirds percentage isn't met, the group has failed
and can't be created.

If the proposal failed, all is not lost—after a six-month waiting
period (a "cooling down"), a new Request For Discussion can be posted
to news.groups, and the whole process can start over again. If after
a couple of tries it becomes obvious that the group is not
wanted or needed, the vote-taker should humbly step back and accept
the opinion of the majority. (As life goes, so goes Usenet.)

——–

Glossary

This glossary is only a tiny subset of all of the various terms and
other things that people regularly use on The Net. For a more
complete (and very entertaining) reference, it's suggested you get a
copy of The New Hacker's Dictionary, which is based on a VERY large
text file called the Jargon File. Edited by Eric Raymond
(eric@snark.thyrsus.com), it is available from the MIT Press,
Cambridge, Massachusetts, 02142; its ISBN number is 0-262-68069-6.
Also see RFC-1208, A Glossary of Networking Terms.

🙂
This odd symbol is one of the ways a person can portray "mood" in
the very flat medium of computers—by using "smilies." This is
`metacommunication', and there are literally hundreds of them, from
the obvious to the obscure. This particular example expresses
"happiness." Don't see it? Tilt your head to the left 90 degrees.
Smilies are also used to denote sarcasm.

Network addresses are usually of two types:

the physical or hardware address of a network interface card; for
ethernet this 48-bit address might be 0260.8C00.7666. The hardware
address is used to forward packets within a physical network.
Fortunately, network users do not have to be concerned about hardware
addresses since they are automatically handled by the networking
software.

The logical or Internet address is used to facilitate moving data
between physical networks. The 32-bit Internet address is made up of a
network number, a subnetwork number, and a host number. Each host
computer on the Internet, has a unique address. For example, all
Internet addresses at Colorado State have a network number of 129.82, a
subnet number in the range of 1-254, and a host number in the range of
1-254. All Internet hosts have a numeric address and an English-style
name. For example, the Internet address for UCC's CYBER 840 is
129.82.103.96; its Internet name is csugreen.UCC.ColoState.EDU.

address resolution
Conversion of an Internet address to the corresponding physical address.
On an ethernet, resolution requires broadcasting on the local area network.

administrivia
Administrative tasks, most often related to the maintenance of mailing
lists, digests, news gateways, etc.

anonymous FTP
Also known as "anon FTP"; a service provided to make files available
to the general Internet community—Anonymous FTP.

ANSI
The American National Standards Institute disseminates basic standards
like ASCII, and acts as the United States' delegate to the ISO.
Standards can be ordered from ANSI by writing to the ANSI Sales Department,
1430 Broadway, New York, NY 10018, or by telephoning (212) 354-3300.

archie
A service which provides lookups for packages in a database of the
offerings of countless of anonymous FTP sites. archie for a
full description.

archive server
An email-based file transfer facility offered by some systems.

ARPA (Advanced Research Projects Agency)
Former name of DARPA, the government agency that funded ARPAnet and
later the DARPA Internet.

ARPAnet
A pioneering long haul network funded by ARPA. It
served as the basis for early networking research as well as a
central backbone during the development of the Internet. The
ARPAnet consisted of individual packet switching computers
interconnected by leased lines. The ARPAnet no longer exists as a
singular entity.

asynchronous
Transmission by individual bytes, not related to specific timing on the
transmitting end.

auto-magic
Something which happens pseudo-automatically, and is usually too
complex to go into any further than to say it happens "auto-magically."

backbone
A high-speed connection within a network that connects shorter,
usually slower circuits. Also used in reference to a system that acts
as a "hub" for activity (although those are becoming much less
prevalent now than they were ten years ago).

bandwidth
The capacity of a medium to transmit a signal. More informally, the
mythical "size" of The Net, and its ability to carry the files and
messages of those that use it. Some view certain kinds of traffic
(FTPing hundreds of graphics images, for example) as a "waste of
bandwidth" and look down upon them.

BITNET (Because It's Time Network)
An NJE-based international educational network.

bounce
The return of a piece of mail because of an error in its delivery.

btw
An abbreviation for "by the way."

CFV (Call For Votes)
Initiates the voting period for a Usenet newsgroup. At least one
(occasionally two or more) email address is customarily included as a
repository for the votes. See Newsgroup Creation
for a full description of the Usenet voting process.

ClariNews
The fee-based Usenet newsfeed available from ClariNet Communications.

client
The user of a network service; also used to describe a computer that
relies upon another for some or all of its resources.

Cyberspace
A term coined by William Gibson in his fantasy novel
Neuromancer to describe the "world" of computers, and the
society that gathers around them.

datagram
The basic unit of information passed across the Internet. It contains
a source and destination address along with data. Large messages are
broken down into a sequence of IP datagrams.

disassembling
Converting a binary program into human-readable machine language code.

DNS (Domain Name System)
The method used to convert Internet names to their corresponding
Internet numbers.

domain
A part of the naming hierarchy. Syntactically, a domain name consists
of a sequence of names or other words separated by dots.

dotted quad
A set of four numbers connected with periods that make up an Internet
address; for example, 147.31.254.130.

email
The vernacular abbreviation for electronic mail.

email address
The UUCP or domain-based address that a user is referred to with. For
example, the author's address is brendan@cs.widener.edu.

ethernet
A 10-million bit per second networking scheme originally developed by
Xerox Corporation. Ethernet is widely used for LANs because it can
network a wide variety of computers, it is not proprietary, and
components are widely available from many commercial sources.

FDDI (Fiber Distributed Data Interface)
An emerging standard for network technology based on fiber optics that
has been established by ANSI. FDDI specifies a 100-million bit per
second data rate. The access control mechanism uses token ring
technology.

flame
A piece of mail or a Usenet posting which is violently argumentative.

FQDN (Fully Qualified Domain Name)
The FQDN is the full site name of a system, rather than just its
hostname. For example, the system lisa at Widener University
has a FQDN of lisa.cs.widener.edu.

FTP (File Transfer Protocol)
The Internet standard high-level protocol for transferring files from
one computer to another.

FYI
An abbreviation for the phrase "for your information." There is
also a series of RFCs put out by the Network Information Center called
FYIs; they address common questions of new users and many other useful
things. RFCs for instructions on retrieving FYIs.

gateway
A special-purpose dedicated computer that attaches to two or more
networks and routes packets from one network to the other. In
particular, an Internet gateway routes IP datagrams among the networks
it connects. Gateways route packets to other gateways until they can be
delivered to the final destination directly across one physical network.

header
The portion of a packet, preceding the actual data, containing source
and destination addresses and error-checking fields. Also part of a
message or news article.

hostname
The name given to a machine. (See also FQDN.)

IMHO (In My Humble Opinion)
This usually accompanies a statement that may bring about personal
offense or strong disagreement.

Internet
A concatenation of many individual TCP/IP campus, state, regional, and
national networks (such as NSFnet, ARPAnet, and Milnet) into one
single logical network all sharing a common addressing scheme.

Internet number
The dotted-quad address used to specify a certain system. The
Internet number for the site cs.widener.edu is 147.31.254.130. A
resolver is used to translate between hostnames and Internet
addresses.

interoperate
The ability of multi-vendor computers to work together using a common
set of protocols. With interoperability, PCs, Macs, Suns, Dec VAXen,
CDC Cybers, etc, all work together allowing one host computer to
communicate with and take advantage of the resources of another.

ISO (International Organization for Standardization)
Coordinator of the main networking standards that are put into use today.

kernel
The level of an operating system or networking system that contains the
system-level commands or all of the functions hidden from the user. In
a Unix system, the kernel is a program that contains the device drivers,
the memory management routines, the scheduler, and system calls. This
program is always running while the system is operating.

LAN (Local Area Network)
Any physical network technology that operates at high speed over short
distances (up to a few thousand meters).

mail gateway
A machine that connects to two or more electronic mail systems
(especially dissimilar mail systems on two different networks) and
transfers mail messages among them.

mailing list
A possibly moderated discussion group, distributed via email from a
central computer maintaining the list of people involved in the
discussion.

mail path
A series of machine names used to direct electronic mail from one user
to another.

medium
The material used to support the transmission of data. This can be
copper wire, coaxial cable, optical fiber, or electromagnetic wave (as in
microwave).

multiplex
The division of a single transmission medium into multiple logical
channels supporting many simultaneous sessions. For example, one
network may have simultaneous FTP, telnet, rlogin, and SMTP
connections, all going at the same time.

net.citizen
An inhabitant of Cyberspace. One usually tries to be a good
net.citizen, lest one be flamed.

netiquette
A pun on "etiquette"; proper behavior on The Net. Usenet Netiquette.

network
A group of machines connected together so they can transmit information
to one another. There are two kinds of networks: local networks and
remote networks.

NFS (Network File System)
A method developed by Sun Microsystems to allow computers to share
files across a network in a way that makes them appear as if they're
"local" to the system.

NIC
The Network Information Center.

node
A computer that is attached to a network; also called a host.

NSFnet
The national backbone network, funded by the National Science Foundation
and operated by the Merit Corporation, used to interconnect regional
(mid-level) networks such as WestNet to one another.

packet
The unit of data sent across a packet switching network. The term is
used loosely. While some Internet literature uses it to refer
specifically to data sent across a physical network, other literature
views the Internet as a packet switching network and describes IP
datagrams as packets.

polling
Connecting to another system to check for things like mail or news.

postmaster
The person responsible for taking care of mail problems, answering
queries about users, and other related work at a site.

protocols
A formal description of message formats and the rules two computers must
follow to exchange those messages. Protocols can describe low-level
details of machine-to-machine interfaces (e.g., the order in which bits
and bytes are sent across a wire) or high-level exchanges between
allocation programs (e.g., the way in which two programs transfer a file
across the Internet).

recursion
The facility of a programming language to be able to call functions
from within themselves.

resolve
Translate an Internet name into its equivalent IP address or other DNS
information.

RFD (Request For Discussion)
Usually a two- to three-week period in which the particulars of
newsgroup creation are battled out.

route
The path that network traffic takes from its source to its destination.

router
A dedicated computer (or other device) that sends packets from one
place to another, paying attention to the current state of the network.

RTFM (Read The Fantastic Manual).
This anacronym is often used when someone asks a simple or common
question. The word `Fantastic' is usually replaced with one much more
vulgar.

SMTP (Simple Mail Transfer Protocol)
The Internet standard protocol for transferring electronic mail messages
from one computer to another. SMTP specifies how two mail systems
interact and the format of control messages they exchange to transfer
mail.

server
A computer that shares its resources, such as printers and files, with
other computers on the network. An example of this is a Network File
System (NFS) server which shares its disk space with other computers.

signal-to-noise ratio
When used in reference to Usenet activity, signal-to-noise
ratio describes the relation between amount of actual information in
a discussion, compared to their quantity. More often than not,
there's substantial activity in a newsgroup, but a very small number
of those articles actually contain anything useful.

signature
The small, usually four-line message at the bottom of a piece of email
or a Usenet article. In Unix, it's added by creating a file
..signature in the user's home directory. Large signatures are
a no-no.

summarize
To encapsulate a number of responses into one coherent, usable
message. Often done on controlled mailing lists or active newsgroups,
to help reduce bandwidth.

synchronous
Data communications in which transmissions are sent at a fixed rate,
with the sending and receiving devices synchronized.

TCP/IP (Transmission Control Protocol/Internet Protocol)
A set of protocols, resulting from ARPA efforts, used by the Internet to
support services such as remote login (telnet), file transfer
(FTP) and mail (SMTP).

telnet
The Internet standard protocol for remote terminal connection service.
Telnet allows a user at one site to interact with a remote timesharing
system at another site as if the user's terminal were connected directly
to the remote computer.

terminal server
A small, specialized, networked computer that connects many terminals to
a LAN through one network connection. Any user on the network can then
connect to various network hosts.

TeX
A free typesetting system by Donald Knuth.

twisted pair
Cable made up of a pair of insulated copper wires wrapped around each
other to cancel the effects of electrical noise.

UUCP (Unix to Unix Copy Program)
A store-and-forward system, primarily for Unix systems but currently
supported on other platforms (e.g. VMS and personal computers).

WAN (Wide-Area Network)
A network spanning hundreds or thousands of miles.

workstation
A networked personal computing device with more power than a standard
IBM PC or Macintosh. Typically, a workstation has an operating system
such as unix that is capable of running several tasks at the same time.
It has several megabytes of memory and a large, high-resolution display.
Examples are Sun workstations and Digital DECstations.

worm
A computer program which replicates itself. The Internet worm
(The Internet Worm) was perhaps the most famous; it
successfully (and accidentally) duplicated itself on systems across
the Internet.

wrt
With respect to.

"I hate definitions."
Benjamin Disraeli
Vivian Grey, bk i chap ii

——
Bibliography

What follows is a compendium of sources that have information that
will be of use to anyone reading this guide. Most of them were used
in the writing of the booklet, while others are simply noted because
they are a must for any good net.citizen's bookshelf.

Books

Comer, Douglas E.
Internetworking With TCP/IP, 2nd ed., 2v
Prentice Hall
Englewood Cliffs, NJ
1991

Davidson, John
An Introduction to TCP/IP
Springer-Verlag
Berlin
1988

Frey, Donnalyn, and Adams, Rick
!@%:: A Directory of Electronic Mail Addressing and Networks
O'Reilly and Associates
Newton, MA
1989

Gibson, William
Neuromancer
Ace
New York, NY
1984

LaQuey, Tracy
Users' Directory of Computer Networks
Digital Press
Bedford, MA
1990

Levy, Stephen
Hackers: Heroes of the Computer Revolution
Anchor Press/Doubleday
Garden City, NY
1984

Partridge, Craig
Innovations in Internetworking
ARTECH House
Norwood, MA
1988

Quarterman, John S.
The Matrix: Computer Networks and Conferencing Systems Worldwide
Digital Press
Bedford, MA
1989

Raymond, Eric (ed)
The New Hacker's Dictionary
MIT Press
Cambridge, MA
1991

Stoll, Clifford
The Cuckoo's Egg
Doubleday
New York
1989

Tanenbaum, Andrew S.
Computer Networks, 2d ed
Prentice-Hall
Englewood Cliffs, NJ
1988

Todinao, Grace
Using UUCP and USENET: A Nutshell Handbook
O'Reilly and Associates
Newton, MA
1986

The Waite Group
Unix Communications, 2nd ed.
Howard W. Sams & Company
Indianapolis
1991

Periodicals & Papers
magazine: Barlow, J
Coming Into The Country
Communications of the ACM 34:3
2
March 1991
Addresses "Cyberspace"—John Barlow was a co-founder of the EFF.

proceedings: Collyer, G., and Spencer, H
News Need Not Be Slow
Proceedings of the 1987 Winter USENIX Conference
181–90
USENIX Association, Berkeley, CA
January 1987

magazine: Denning, P
The Internet Worm
American Scientist
126–128
March–April 1989

magazine: The Science of Computing: Computer Networks
American Scientist
127–129
March–April 1985

magazine: Frey, D., and Adams, R
USENET: Death by Success?
UNIX REVIEW
55–60
August 1987

magazine: Gifford, W. S
ISDN User-Network Interfaces
IEEE Journal on Selected Areas in Communications
343–348
May 1986

magazine: Ginsberg, K
Getting from Here to There
UNIX REVIEW
45
January 1986

magazine: Hiltz, S. R
The Human Element in Computerized Conferencing Systems
Computer Networks
421–428
December 1978

proceedings: Horton, M
What is a Domain?
Proceedings of the Summer 1984 USENIX Conference
368–372
USENIX Association, Berkeley, CA
June 1984

magazine: Jacobsen, Ole J
Information on TCP/IP
ConneXions—The Interoperability Report
14–15
July 1988

magazine: Jennings, D., et al
Computer Networking for Scientists
Science
943–950
28 February 1986

paper: Markoff, J
"Author of computer `virus' is son of U.S. electronic security expert."
New York Times
Nov. 5, 1988
A1

paper: "Computer snarl: A `back door' ajar."
New York Times
Nov. 7, 1988
B10

magazine: McQuillan, J. M., and Walden, D. C
The ARPA Network Design Decisions
Computer Networks
243–289
1977

magazine: Ornstein, S. M
A letter concerning the Internet worm
Communications of the ACM 32:6
June 1989

proceedings: Partridge, C
Mail Routing Using Domain Names: An Informal Tour
Proceedings of the 1986 Summer USENIX Conference
366–76
USENIX Association, Berkeley, CA
June 1986

magazine: Quarterman, J
Etiquette and Ethics
ConneXions—The Interoperability Report
12–16
March 1989

magazine: Notable Computer Networks
Communications of the ACM 29:10
October 1986
This was the predecessor to The Matrix.

magazine: Raeder, A. W., and Andrews, K. L
Searching Library Catalogs on the Internet: A Survey
Database Searcher 6
16–31
September 1990

proceedings: Seeley, D
A tour of the worm
Proceedings of the 1989 Winter USENIX Conference
287–304
USENIX Association, Berkeley, CA
February 1989

magazine: Shulman, G
Legal Research on USENET Liability Issues
;login: The USENIX Association Newsletter
11–17
December 1984

magazine: Smith, K
E-Mail to Anywhere
PC World
220–223
March 1988

magazine: Stoll, C
Stalking the Wily Hacker
Communications of the ACM 31:5
14
May 1988
This article grew into the book The Cuckoo's Egg.

proceedings: Taylor, D
The Postman Always Rings Twice: Electronic Mail in a Highly Distributed
Environment
Proceedings of the 1988 Winter USENIX Conference
145–153
USENIX Association, Berkeley, CA
December 1988

magazine: U.S.Gen'l Accounting Ofc
Computer Security: Virus Highlights Need for Improved Internet Management
GAO/IMTEC-89-57,
1989
Addresses the Internet worm.

"And all else is literature."
Paul Verlaine
The Sun, New York
While he was city editor in 1873–1890.

—
Bill Walther, Carleton University, Ottawa, Canada

THREE HUNDRED
ÆSOP’S FABLES

LITERALLY TRANSLATED FROM THE GREEK

By the
Rev. George Fyler Townsend, M.A.

LONDON
GEORGE ROUTLEDGE AND SONS

THE BROADWAY, LUDGATE
NEW YORK: 416 BROOME STREET

CONTENTS

PREFACE
LIFE OF AESOP
AESOP’S FABLES
The Lion And The Mouse
The Wolf And The Lamb
The Ass And The Grasshopper
The Wolf and the Crane
The Father And His Sons
The Bat And The Weasels
The Cock and the Jewel
The Swallow and the Crow
The Kingdom of the Lion
The Traveler and His Dog
The Ants and the Grasshopper
The Hare and the Tortoise
The Charcoal-Burner And The Fuller
The Boy Hunting Locusts
The Fisherman Piping
The Dog and the Shadow
Hercules and the Wagoner
The Mole and His Mother
The Herdsman and the Lost Bull
The Fawn and His Mother
The Ass, the Fox, and the Lion
The Flies and the Honey-Pot
The Lioness
The Farmer and the Snake
The Man and the Lion
The Pomegranate, Apple-Tree, and Bramble
The Farmer and the Stork
The Mountain in Labor
The Bear and the Fox
The Tortoise and the Eagle
The Fox and the Goat
The Raven and the Swan
The Thirsty Pigeon
The Dog in the Manger
The Oxen and the Axle-Trees
The Farmer and the Cranes
The Sick Lion
The Bear and the Two Travelers
The Fox Who Had Lost His Tail
The Cat and the Cock
The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
The Goat and the Goatherd
The Boasting Traveler
The Lion in Love
The Miser
The Porker, the Sheep, and the Goat
The Boy and the Filberts
The Frogs Asking for a King
The Laborer and the Snake
The Lion, the Mouse, and the Fox
The Horse and Groom
The Ass and the Mule
The Ass and the Lapdog
The Oxen and the Butchers
The Shepherd’s Boy and the Wolf
The Boys and the Frogs
The Salt Merchant and His Ass
The Mischievous Dog
The Goatherd and the Wild Goats
The Man and His Two Sweethearts
The Sick Stag
The Boy and the Nettles
The Astronomer
The Wolves and the Sheep
The Cat and the Birds
The Vain Jackdaw
The Kid and the Wolf
The Old Woman and the Physician
The Ox and the Frog
The Farmer and His Sons
The Heifer and the Ox
The Fighting Cocks and the Eagle
The Charger and the Miller
The Fox and the Monkey
The Horse and His Rider
The Belly and the Members
The Widow and Her Little Maidens
The Vine and the Goat
Jupiter and the Monkey
The Hawk, the Kite, and the Pigeons
The Dolphins, the Whales, and the Sprat
The Swallow, the Serpent, and the Court of Justice
The Two Pots
The Shepherd and the Wolf
The Crab and Its Mother
The Father and His Two Daughters
The Thief and His Mother
The Old Man and Death
The Fir-Tree and the Bramble
The Æthiop
The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk
The Fisherman and His Nets
The Wolf and the Sheep
The Old Woman and the Wine-Jar
The Man Bitten by a Dog
The Huntsman and the Fisherman
The Fox and the Crow
The Widow and the Sheep
The Playful Ass
The Stag in the Ox-Stall
The Two Dogs
The Wild Ass and the Lion
The Lion and the Dolphin
The Eagle and the Arrow
The Sick Kite
The Lion and the Boar
The Mice in Council
The One-Eyed Doe
The Mice and the Weasels
The Shepherd and the Sea
The Ass, the Cock, and the Lion
The Rivers and the Sea
The Wild Boar and the Fox
The Milk-Woman and Her Pail
The Bee and Jupiter
The Wolf and the Housedog
The Three Tradesmen
The Ass Carrying the Image
The Master and His Dogs
The Old Hound
The Two Travelers and the Axe
The Old Lion
The Wolf and the Shepherds
The Seaside Travelers
The Ass and His Shadow
The Ass and His Masters
Mercury and the Sculptor
The Fox and the Woodcutter
The Oak and the Reeds
The Lion in a Farmyard
The Wolf and the Lion
The Birdcatcher, the Partridge, and the Cock
The Ant and the Dove
The Hares and the Frogs
The Monkey and the Fishermen
The Swan and the Goose
The Doe and the Lion
The Fisherman and the Little Fish
The Hunter and the Woodman
The Swollen Fox
The Two Frogs
The Lamp
The Camel and the Arab
The Miller, His Son, and Their Ass
The Cat and the Mice
The Mouse and the Bull
The Dog and the Cook
The Thieves and the Cock
The Dancing Monkeys
The Farmer and the Fox
The Traveler and Fortune
The Seagull and the Kite
The Lion, the Bear, and the Fox
The Philosopher, the Ants, and Mercury
The Peasant and the Eagle
The Fox and the Leopard
The Lion and the Hare
The Image of Mercury and the Carpenter
The Lion, the Fox, and the Ass
The Bull and the Goat
The Bald Knight
The Oaks and Jupiter
The Monkeys and Their Mother
The Hare and the Hound
The Shepherd and the Dog
The Oak and the Woodcutters
The Wasp and the Snake
The Peacock and the Crane
The Hen and the Golden Eggs
The Ass and the Frogs
The Crow and the Raven
The Trees and the Axe
The Wolves and the Sheepdogs
The Bull, the Lioness, and the Wild-Boar Hunter
The Bowman and Lion
The Camel
The Crab and the Fox
The Ass and the Old Shepherd
The Fox and the Hedgehog
The Woman and Her Hen
The Kites and the Swans
The Dog and the Hare
The Hares and the Foxes
The Bull and the Calf
The Stag, the Wolf, and the Sheep
The Eagle, the Cat, and the Wild Sow
The Wolf and the Fox
The Mule
The Prophet
The Two Frogs
The Serpent and the Eagle
The Crow and the Pitcher
The Thief and the Innkeeper
The Hart and the Vine
The Gnat and the Lion
The Fox and the Grapes
The Walnut-Tree
The Kid and the Wolf
The Monkey and the Dolphin
The Horse and the Stag
The Jackdaw and the Doves
The Fox and the Monkey
The Man and His Wife
The Man, the Horse, the Ox, and the Dog
The Thief and the Housedog
The Apes and the Two Travelers
The Fox and the Lion
The Weasel and the Mice
The Boy Bathing
The Peacock and Juno
The Wolf and the Shepherd
The Hares and the Lions
The Seller of Images
The Hawk and the Nightingale
The Lark and Her Young Ones
The Dog, the Cock, and the Fox
The Geese and the Cranes
The Ass and the Wolf
The Goat and the Ass
The Lion and the Bull
The Fox and the Mask
The Grasshopper and the Owl
The Fowler and the Viper
The Horse and the Ass
The Lion and the Three Bulls
The Wolf and the Goat
The Fly and the Draught-Mule
The Fishermen
The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse
The Wolf, the Fox, and the Ape
The Wasps, the Partridges, and the Farmer
The Brother and the Sister
The Dogs and the Fox
The Blind Man and the Whelp
The Cobbler Turned Doctor
The Wolf and the Horse
The Two Men Who Were Enemies
The Gamecocks and the Partridge
The Fox and the Lion
The Quack Frog
The Lion, the Wolf, and the Fox
The Dog’s House
The North Wind and the Sun
The Crow and Mercury
The Fox and the Crane
The Wolf and the Lion
The Birds, the Beasts, and the Bat
The Spendthrift and the Swallow
The Trumpeter Taken Prisoner
The Owl and the Birds
The Goods and the Ills
The Ass in the Lion’s Skin
The Sparrow and the Hare
The Flea and the Ox
The Ass and His Purchaser
The Dove and the Crow
The Man and the Satyr
Jupiter, Neptune, Minerva, and Momus
The Eagle and the Jackdaw
The Eagle and the Fox
The Two Bags
The Bitch and Her Whelps
The Stag at the Pool
The Lark Burying Her Father
The Gnat and the Bull
The Monkey and the Camel
The Dogs and the Hides
The Jackdaw and the Fox
Mercury and the Workmen
The Peasant and the Apple-Tree
The Two Soldiers and the Robber
The Shepherd and the Sheep
The Trees Under the Protection of the Gods
The Flea and the Wrestler
The Lion and the Fox
Truth and the Traveler
The Manslayer
The Lion and the Eagle
The Ass and His Driver
The Thrush and the Fowler
The Mother and the Wolf
The Hen and the Swallow
The Rose and the Amaranth
The Travelers and the Plane-Tree
The Ass and the Horse
The Crow and the Sheep
The Fox and the Bramble
The Ass and the Charger
The Lion, Jupiter, and the Elephant
The Dog and the Oyster
The Mules and the Robbers
The Lamb and the Wolf
The Partridge and the Fowler
The Flea and the Man
The Rich Man and the Tanner
The Viper and the File
The Lion and the Shepherd
The Camel and Jupiter
The Panther and the Shepherds
The Eagle and the Kite
The Eagle and His Captor
The King’s Son and the Painted Lion
The Cat and Venus
The Eagle and the Beetle
The She-Goats and Their Beards
The Bald Man and the Fly
The Shipwrecked Man and the Sea
The Buffoon and the Countryman
The Crow and the Serpent
The Hunter and the Horseman
The Olive-Tree and the Fig-Tree
The Frogs’ Complaint Against the Sun
The Brazier and His Dog
FOOTNOTES
INDEX

PREFACE

The Tale, the Parable, and the Fable are all common and popular modes
of conveying instruction. Each is distinguished by its own special
characteristics. The Tale consists simply in the narration of a story
either founded on facts, or created solely by the imagination, and not
necessarily associated with the teaching of any moral lesson. The
Parable is the designed use of language purposely intended to convey a
hidden and secret meaning other than that contained in the words
themselves; and which may or may not bear a special reference to the
hearer, or reader. The Fable partly agrees with, and partly differs
from both of these. It will contain, like the Tale, a short but real
narrative; it will seek, like the Parable, to convey a hidden meaning,
and that not so much by the use of language, as by the skilful
introduction of fictitious characters; and yet, unlike to either Tale
or Parable, it will ever keep in view, as its high prerogative, and
inseparable attribute, the great purpose of instruction, and will
necessarily seek to inculcate some moral maxim, social duty, or
political truth. The true Fable, if it rise to its high requirements,
ever aims at one great end and purpose—the representation of human
motive, and the improvement of human conduct, and yet it so conceals
its design under the disguise of fictitious characters, by clothing
with speech the animals of the field, the birds of the air, the trees
of the wood, or the beasts of the forest, that the reader shall receive
advice without perceiving the presence of the adviser. Thus the
superiority of the counsellor, which often renders counsel unpalatable,
is kept out of view, and the lesson comes with the greater acceptance
when the reader is led, unconsciously to himself, to have his
sympathies enlisted in behalf of what is pure, honourable, and
praiseworthy, and to have his indignation excited against what is low,
ignoble, and unworthy. The true fabulist, therefore, discharges a most
important function. He is neither a narrator, nor an allegorist. He is
a great teacher, a corrector of morals, a censor of vice, and a
commender of virtue. In this consists the superiority of the Fable over
the Tale or the Parable. The fabulist is to create a laugh, but yet,
under a merry guise, to convey instruction. Phædrus, the great imitator
of Æsop, plainly indicates this double purpose to be the true office of
the writer of fables.

Duplex libelli dos est: quod risum movet,
Et quod prudenti vitam consilio monet.

The continual observance of this twofold aim creates the charm, and
accounts for the universal favour, of the fables of Æsop. “The fable,”
says Professor K. O. Mueller, “originated in Greece in an intentional
travestie of human affairs. The ‘ainos,’ as its name denotes, is an
admonition, or rather a reproof, veiled, either from fear of an excess
of frankness, or from a love of fun and jest, beneath the fiction of an
occurrence happening among beasts; and wherever we have any ancient and
authentic account of the Æsopian fables, we find it to be the same.”[1]

The construction of a fable involves a minute attention to (1), the
narration itself; (2), the deduction of the moral; and (3), a careful
maintenance of the individual characteristics of the fictitious
personages introduced into it. The narration should relate to one
simple action, consistent with itself, and neither be overladen with a
multiplicity of details, nor distracted by a variety of circumstances.
The moral or lesson should be so plain, and so intimately interwoven
with, and so necessarily dependent on, the narration, that every reader
should be compelled to give to it the same undeniable interpretation.
The introduction of the animals or fictitious characters should be
marked with an unexceptionable care and attention to their natural
attributes, and to the qualities attributed to them by universal
popular consent. The Fox should be always cunning, the Hare timid, the
Lion bold, the Wolf cruel, the Bull strong, the Horse proud, and the
Ass patient. Many of these fables are characterized by the strictest
observance of these rules. They are occupied with one short narrative,
from which the moral naturally flows, and with which it is intimately
associated. “’Tis the simple manner,” says Dodsley,[2] “in which the
morals of Æsop are interwoven with his fables that distinguishes him,
and gives him the preference over all other mythologists. His ‘Mountain
delivered of a Mouse,’ produces the moral of his fable in ridicule of
pompous pretenders; and his Crow, when she drops her cheese, lets fall,
as it were by accident, the strongest admonition against the power of
flattery. There is no need of a separate sentence to explain it; no
possibility of impressing it deeper, by that load we too often see of
accumulated reflections.”[3] An equal amount of praise is due for the
consistency with which the characters of the animals, fictitiously
introduced, are marked. While they are made to depict the motives and
passions of men, they retain, in an eminent degree, their own special
features of craft or counsel, of cowardice or courage, of generosity or
rapacity.

These terms of praise, it must be confessed, cannot be bestowed on all
the fables in this collection. Many of them lack that unity of design,
that close connection of the moral with the narrative, that wise choice
in the introduction of the animals, which constitute the charm and
excellency of true Æsopian fable. This inferiority of some to others is
sufficiently accounted for in the history of the origin and descent of
these fables. The great bulk of them are not the immediate work of
Æsop. Many are obtained from ancient authors prior to the time in which
he lived. Thus, the fable of the “Hawk and the Nightingale” is related
by Hesiod;[4] the “Eagle wounded by an Arrow, winged with its own
feathers,” by Æschylus;[5] the “Fox avenging his wrongs on the Eagle,”
by Archilochus.[6] Many of them again are of later origin, and are to
be traced to the monks of the middle ages: and yet this collection,
though thus made up of fables both earlier and later than the era of
Æsop, rightfully bears his name, because he composed so large a number
(all framed in the same mould, and conformed to the same fashion, and
stamped with the same lineaments, image, and superscription) as to
secure to himself the right to be considered the father of Greek
fables, and the founder of this class of writing, which has ever since
borne his name, and has secured for him, through all succeeding ages,
the position of the first of moralists.[7]

The fables were in the first instance only narrated by Æsop, and for a
long time were handed down by the uncertain channel of oral tradition.
Socrates is mentioned by Plato[8] as having employed his time while in
prison, awaiting the return of the sacred ship from Delphos which was
to be the signal of his death, in turning some of these fables into
verse, but he thus versified only such as he remembered. Demetrius
Phalereus, a philosopher at Athens about 300 B.C., is said to have made
the first collection of these fables. Phædrus, a slave by birth or by
subsequent misfortunes, and admitted by Augustus to the honours of a
freedman, imitated many of these fables in Latin iambics about the
commencement of the Christian era. Aphthonius, a rhetorician of
Antioch, A.D. 315, wrote a treatise on, and converted into Latin prose,
some of these fables. This translation is the more worthy of notice, as
it illustrates a custom of common use, both in these and in later
times. The rhetoricians and philosophers were accustomed to give the
Fables of Æsop as an exercise to their scholars, not only inviting them
to discuss the moral of the tale, but also to practice and to perfect
themselves thereby in style and rules of grammar, by making for
themselves new and various versions of the fables. Ausonius,[9] the
friend of the Emperor Valentinian, and the latest poet of eminence in
the Western Empire, has handed down some of these fables in verse,
which Julianus Titianus, a contemporary writer of no great name,
translated into prose. Avienus, also a contemporary of Ausonius, put
some of these fables into Latin elegiacs, which are given by Nevelet
(in a book we shall refer to hereafter), and are occasionally
incorporated with the editions of Phædrus.

Seven centuries elapsed before the next notice is found of the Fables
of Æsop. During this long period these fables seem to have suffered an
eclipse, to have disappeared and to have been forgotten; and it is at
the commencement of the fourteenth century, when the Byzantine emperors
were the great patrons of learning, and amidst the splendors of an
Asiatic court, that we next find honours paid to the name and memory of
Æsop. Maximus Planudes, a learned monk of Constantinople, made a
collection of about a hundred and fifty of these fables. Little is
known of his history. Planudes, however, was no mere recluse, shut up
in his monastery. He took an active part in public affairs. In 1327
A.D. he was sent on a diplomatic mission to Venice by the Emperor
Andronicus the Elder. This brought him into immediate contact with the
Western Patriarch, whose interests he henceforth advocated with so much
zeal as to bring on him suspicion and persecution from the rulers of
the Eastern Church. Planudes has been exposed to a two-fold accusation.
He is charged on the one hand with having had before him a copy of
Babrias (to whom we shall have occasion to refer at greater length in
the end of this Preface), and to have had the bad taste “to transpose,”
or to turn his poetical version into prose: and he is asserted, on the
other hand, never to have seen the Fables of Æsop at all, but to have
himself invented and made the fables which he palmed off under the name
of the famous Greek fabulist. The truth lies between these two
extremes. Planudes may have invented some few fables, or have inserted
some that were current in his day; but there is an abundance of
unanswerable internal evidence to prove that he had an acquaintance
with the veritable fables of Æsop, although the versions he had access
to were probably corrupt, as contained in the various translations and
disquisitional exercises of the rhetoricians and philosophers. His
collection is interesting and important, not only as the parent source
or foundation of the earlier printed versions of Æsop, but as the
direct channel of attracting to these fables the attention of the
learned.

The eventual re-introduction, however, of these Fables of Æsop to their
high place in the general literature of Christendom, is to be looked
for in the West rather than in the East. The calamities gradually
thickening round the Eastern Empire, and the fall of Constantinople,
1453 A.D. combined with other events to promote the rapid restoration
of learning in Italy; and with that recovery of learning the revival of
an interest in the Fables of Æsop is closely identified. These fables,
indeed, were among the first writings of an earlier antiquity that
attracted attention. They took their place beside the Holy Scriptures
and the ancient classic authors, in the minds of the great students of
that day. Lorenzo Valla, one of the most famous promoters of Italian
learning, not only translated into Latin the Iliad of Homer and the
Histories of Herodotus and Thucydides, but also the Fables of Æsop.

These fables, again, were among the books brought into an extended
circulation by the agency of the printing press. Bonus Accursius, as
early as 1475–1480, printed the collection of these fables, made by
Planudes, which, within five years afterwards, Caxton translated into
English, and printed at his press in Westminster Abbey, 1485.[10] It
must be mentioned also that the learning of this age has left permanent
traces of its influence on these fables,[11] by causing the
interpolation with them (as a κτῆμα εἰς ἰει) of some of those amusing
stories which were so frequently introduced into the public discourses
of the great preachers of those days, and of which specimens are yet to
be found in the extant sermons of Jean Raulin, Meffreth, and Gabriel
Barlette.[12] The publication of this era which most probably has
influenced these fables, is the “Liber Facetiarum,”[13] a book
consisting of a hundred jests and stories, by the celebrated Poggio
Bracciolini, published A.D. 1471, from which the two fables of the
“Miller, his Son, and the Ass,” and the “Fox and the Woodcutter,” are
undoubtedly selected.

The knowledge of these fables rapidly spread from Italy into Germany,
and their popularity was increased by the favour and sanction given to
them by the great fathers of the Reformation, who frequently used them
as vehicles for satire and protest against the tricks and abuses of the
Romish ecclesiastics. The zealous and renowned Camerarius, who took an
active part in the preparation of the Confession of Augsburgh, found
time, amidst his numerous avocations, to prepare a version for the
students in the University of Tübingen, in which he was a professor.
Martin Luther translated twenty of these fables, and was urged by
Melancthon to complete the whole; while Gottfried Arnold, the
celebrated Lutheran theologian, and librarian to Frederick I., king of
Prussia, mentions that the great Reformer valued the Fables of Æsop
next after the Holy Scriptures. In 1546 A.D. the second printed edition
of the collection of the Fables made by Planudes, was issued from the
printing-press of Robert Stephens, in which were inserted some
additional fables from a MS. in the Bibliothêque du Roy at Paris.

The greatest advance, however, towards a re-introduction of the Fables
of Æsop to a place in the literature of the world, was made in the
early part of the seventeenth century. In the year 1610, a learned
Swiss, Isaac Nicholas Nevelet, sent forth the third printed edition of
these fables, in a work entitled “Mythologia Æsopica.” This was a noble
effort to do honour to the great fabulist, and was the most perfect
collection of Æsopian fables ever yet published. It consisted, in
addition to the collection of fables given by Planudes and reprinted in
the various earlier editions, of one hundred and thirty-six new fables
(never before published) from MSS. in the Library of the Vatican, of
forty fables attributed to Aphthonius, and of forty-three from Babrias.
It also contained the Latin versions of the same fables by Phædrus,
Avienus, and other authors. This volume of Nevelet forms a complete
“Corpus Fabularum Æsopicarum;” and to his labours Æsop owes his
restoration to universal favour as one of the wise moralists and great
teachers of mankind. During the interval of three centuries which has
elapsed since the publication of this volume of Nevelet’s, no book,
with the exception of the Holy Scriptures, has had a wider circulation
than Æsop’s Fables. They have been translated into the greater number
of the languages both of Europe and of the East, and have been read,
and will be read, for generations, alike by Jew, Heathen, Mohammedan,
and Christian. They are, at the present time, not only engrafted into
the literature of the civilized world, but are familiar as household
words in the common intercourse and daily conversation of the
inhabitants of all countries.

This collection of Nevelet’s is the great culminating point in the
history of the revival of the fame and reputation of Æsopian Fables. It
is remarkable, also, as containing in its preface the germ of an idea,
which has been since proved to have been correct by a strange chain of
circumstances. Nevelet intimates an opinion, that a writer named
Babrias would be found to be the veritable author of the existing form
of Æsopian Fables. This intimation has since given rise to a series of
inquiries, the knowledge of which is necessary, in the present day, to
a full understanding of the true position of Æsop in connection with
the writings that bear his name.

The history of Babrias is so strange and interesting, that it might not
unfitly be enumerated among the curiosities of literature. He is
generally supposed to have been a Greek of Asia Minor, of one of the
Ionic Colonies, but the exact period in which he lived and wrote is yet
unsettled. He is placed, by one critic,[14] as far back as the
institution of the Achaian League, B.C. 250; by another as late as the
Emperor Severus, who died A.D. 235; while others make him a
contemporary with Phædrus in the time of Augustus. At whatever time he
wrote his version of Æsop, by some strange accident it seems to have
entirely disappeared, and to have been lost sight of. His name is
mentioned by Avienus; by Suidas, a celebrated critic, at the close of
the eleventh century, who gives in his lexicon several isolated verses
of his version of the fables; and by John Tzetzes, a grammarian and
poet of Constantinople, who lived during the latter half of the twelfth
century. Nevelet, in the preface to the volume which we have described,
points out that the Fables of Planudes could not be the work of Æsop,
as they contain a reference in two places to “Holy monks,” and give a
verse from the Epistle of St. James as an “Epimith” to one of the
fables, and suggests Babrias as their author. Francis Vavassor,[15] a
learned French jesuit, entered at greater length on this subject, and
produced further proofs from internal evidence, from the use of the
word Piræus in describing the harbour of Athens, a name which was not
given till two hundred years after Æsop, and from the introduction of
other modern words, that many of these fables must have been at least
committed to writing posterior to the time of Æsop, and more boldly
suggests Babrias as their author or collector.[16] These various
references to Babrias induced Dr. Richard Bentley, at the close of the
seventeenth century, to examine more minutely the existing versions of
Æsop’s Fables, and he maintained that many of them could, with a slight
change of words, be resolved into the Scazonic[17] iambics, in which
Babrias is known to have written: and, with a greater freedom than the
evidence then justified, he put forth, in behalf of Babrias, a claim to
the exclusive authorship of these fables. Such a seemingly extravagant
theory, thus roundly asserted, excited much opposition. Dr. Bentley[18]
met with an able antagonist in a member of the University of Oxford,
the Hon. Mr. Charles Boyle,[19] afterwards Earl of Orrery. Their
letters and disputations on this subject, enlivened on both sides with
much wit and learning, will ever bear a conspicuous place in the
literary history of the seventeenth century. The arguments of Dr.
Bentley were yet further defended a few years later by Mr. Thomas
Tyrwhitt, a well-read scholar, who gave up high civil distinctions that
he might devote himself the more unreservedly to literary pursuits. Mr.
Tyrwhitt published, A.D. 1776, a Dissertation on Babrias, and a
collection of his fables in choliambic metre found in a MS. in the
Bodleian Library at Oxford. Francesco de Furia, a learned Italian,
contributed further testimony to the correctness of the supposition
that Babrias had made a veritable collection of fables by printing from
a MS. contained in the Vatican library several fables never before
published. In the year 1844, however, new and unexpected light was
thrown upon this subject. A veritable copy of Babrias was found in a
manner as singular as were the MSS. of Quinctilian’s Institutes, and of
Cicero’s Orations by Poggio in the monastery of St. Gall A.D. 1416. M.
Menoides, at the suggestion of M. Villemain, Minister of Public
Instruction to King Louis Philippe, had been entrusted with a
commission to search for ancient MSS., and in carrying out his
instructions he found a MS. at the convent of St. Laura, on Mount
Athos, which proved to be a copy of the long suspected and wished-for
choliambic version of Babrias. This MS. was found to be divided into
two books, the one containing a hundred and twenty-five, and the other
ninety-five fables. This discovery attracted very general attention,
not only as confirming, in a singular manner, the conjectures so boldly
made by a long chain of critics, but as bringing to light valuable
literary treasures tending to establish the reputation, and to confirm
the antiquity and authenticity of the great mass of Æsopian Fable. The
Fables thus recovered were soon published. They found a most worthy
editor in the late distinguished Sir George Cornewall Lewis, and a
translator equally qualified for his task, in the Reverend James
Davies, M.A., sometime a scholar of Lincoln College, Oxford, and
himself a relation of their English editor. Thus, after an eclipse of
many centuries, Babrias shines out as the earliest, and most reliable
collector of veritable Æsopian Fables.

Having thus given a complete synopsis of the origin, descent, and
history of these fables, it only remains to explain the reasons which
have induced the Publishers to prepare a new edition of Æsop, and to
state the grounds on which they hope to establish a claim for support
and public approval in their undertaking. They boldly assert that the
new light thrown upon these fables by the discovery of the metrical
version by Babrias, renders a new translation an inevitable necessity.
The two chief existing English versions of Æsop are those by Archdeacon
Croxall, and by the late Rev. Thomas James, canon of Peterborough. The
first of these deviates so very far from the text, that it degenerates
into a parody. The fables are so padded, diluted, and altered, as to
give very little idea to the reader either of the terseness or the
meaning of the original. The second of these is an improvement on its
predecessor, but Mr. James, either out of compliance with the wishes of
the publishers, or in condescension to the taste prevalent some twenty
years ago, has so freely introduced as the point of the fable
conventional English sayings which are not sanctioned by the Greek, and
which in many instances are scarcely equivalent to it, that his version
frequently approaches a paraphrase rather than a translation.

The Publishers therefore ground their first claim for public approval
on the necessity of a new translation. They trust further that their
present work will have met that necessity in a satisfactory manner.
They have sought to give as nearly a literal translation as possible of
the Greek text; and they hope that if the reader should miss the
smoothness and thoroughly English tone which characterized the previous
version of these fables, he will be more than repaid by gaining a
nearer approach to the spirit, thoughts, and (in some cases) to the
epigrammatic terseness of the original. The Publishers trust to
vindicate, on another ground, their claims to a share of public
patronage. They have inserted a hundred new fables, and they have the
satisfaction of knowing that this edition, on which they have spared no
pains nor cost, will afford a larger choice, and greater variety, to
the numerous and increasing circle of the admirers of Æsopian Fables.
Whatever be the result of their labours, they will be content to have
contributed towards promoting a wider acquaintance with fables, the
wisdom, excellency, and wonderful suitableness of which to every
condition of humanity has been attested and confirmed by the experience
of so many generations; and which in all ages, amidst the ever changing
fluctuations of human opinion, are adapted alike to amuse the young,
and to instruct the thoughtful, and are well fitted to teach all who
study them lessons useful for their guidance in every position of
political, social, civil, or domestic life.

The Editor must claim the privilege of adding a few words on a matter
personal to himself. He has already within the last few months been
connected with one edition of Æsop, and it may seem strange that he
should be willing to undertake the superintendence of another. His
answer is, that the two works on which he has been engaged were totally
distinct, and entirely independent of each other. The first was a
request to furnish new morals and applications to a definite number of
fables; Ihe other was a commission to add a large number of additional
fables and to make a wholly new translation. The necessity of a new and
improved translation the Editor then recognized, and would have
willingly undertaken. It was a wish he had much at heart, and when the
proposal was voluntarily made to him by the present Publishers, to
undertake the task of a new translation of an enlarged number of Æsop’s
Fables, he saw no reason for refusing the offer because of his prior
discharge of a totally different design; and he resolved to comply with
the request submitted to him, and to do his best towards the attainment
of so desirable an object as a purer translation and more literal
rendering of fables so justly celebrated.

The following are the sources from which the present translation has
been prepared:—

Babrii Fabulæ Æsopeæ. George Cornewall Lewis. Oxford, 1846.

Babrii Fabulæ Æsopeæ. E codice manuscripto partem secundam edidit.
George Cornewall Lewis. London: Parker, 1857.

Mythologica Æsopica. Opera et studia Isaaci Nicholai Neveleti.
Frankfort, 1610.

Fabulæ Æsopiacæ, quales ante Planudem ferebantur cura et studio
Francisci de Furia. Lipsiæ, 1810.

Αἰσωπεὶων Μυθῶν Συναγωγή. Ex recognitione Caroli Halmii. Lipsiæ, 1851

Phædri Fabulæ Esopiæ. Delphin Classics. 1822.

GEORGE FYLER TOWNSEND

LIFE OF AESOP

The Life and History of Æsop is involved, like that of Homer, the most
famous of Greek poets, in much obscurity. Sardis, the capital of Lydia;
Samos, a Greek island; Mesembria, an ancient colony in Thrace; and
Cotiæum, the chief city of a province of Phrygia, contend for the
distinction of being the birthplace of Æsop. Although the honour thus
claimed cannot be definitely assigned to any one of these places, yet
there are a few incidents now generally accepted by scholars as
established facts, relating to the birth, life, and death of Æsop. He
is, by an almost universal consent, allowed to have been born about the
year 620 B.C., and to have been by birth a slave. He was owned by two
masters in succession, both inhabitants of Samos, Xanthus and Jadmon,
the latter of whom gave him his liberty as a reward for his learning
and wit. One of the privileges of a freedman in the ancient republics
of Greece, was the permission to take an active interest in public
affairs; and Æsop, like the philosophers Phædo, Menippus, and
Epictetus, in later times, raised himself from the indignity of a
servile condition to a position of high renown. In his desire alike to
instruct and to be instructed, he travelled through many countries, and
among others came to Sardis, the capital of the famous king of Lydia,
the great patron, in that day, of learning and of learned men. He met
at the court of Crœsus with Solon, Thales, and other sages, and is
related so to have pleased his royal master by the part he took in the
conversations held with these philosophers, that he applied to him an
expression which has since passed into a proverb, “μᾶλλον ὁ Φρύξ.” “The
Phrygian has spoken better than all.”

On the invitation of Crœsus he fixed his residence at Sardis, and was
employed by that monarch in various difficult and delicate affairs of
State. In his discharge of these commissions he visited the different
petty republics of Greece. At one time he is found in Corinth, and at
another in Athens, endeavouring, by the narration of some of his wise
fables, to reconcile the inhabitants of those cities to the
administration of their respective rulers Periander and Pisistratus.
One of these ambassadorial missions, undertaken at the command of
Crœsus, was the occasion of his death. Having been sent to Delphi with
a large sum of gold for distribution among the citizens, he was so
provoked at their covetousness that he refused to divide the money, and
sent it back to his master. The Delphians, enraged at this treatment,
accused him of impiety, and, in spite of his sacred character as
ambassador, executed him as a public criminal. This cruel death of Æsop
was not unavenged. The citizens of Delphi were visited with a series of
calamities, until they made a public reparation of their crime; and,
“The blood of Æsop” became a well-known adage, bearing witness to the
truth that deeds of wrong would not pass unpunished. Neither did the
great fabulist lack posthumous honours; for a statue was erected to his
memory at Athens, the work of Lysippus, one of the most famous of Greek
sculptors. Phædrus thus immortalizes the event:—

Æsopo ingentem statuam posuere Attici,
Servumque collocarunt æternâ in basi:
Patere honoris scirent ut cuncti viam;
Nec generi tribui sed virtuti gloriam.

These few facts are all that can be relied on with any degree of
certainty, in reference to the birth, life, and death of Æsop. They
were first brought to light, after a patient search and diligent
perusal of ancient authors, by a Frenchman, M. Claude Gaspard Bachet de
Mezeriac, who declined the honour of being tutor to Louis XIII. of
France, from his desire to devote himself exclusively to literature. He
published his Life of Æsop, Anno Domini 1632. The later investigations
of a host of English and German scholars have added very little to the
facts given by M. Mezeriac. The substantial truth of his statements has
been confirmed by later criticism and inquiry. It remains to state,
that prior to this publication of M. Mezeriac, the life of Æsop was
from the pen of Maximus Planudes, a monk of Constantinople, who was
sent on an embassy to Venice by the Byzantine Emperor Andronicus the
elder, and who wrote in the early part of the fourteenth century. His
life was prefixed to all the early editions of these fables, and was
republished as late as 1727 by Archdeacon Croxall as the introduction
to his edition of Æsop. This life by Planudes contains, however, so
small an amount of truth, and is so full of absurd pictures of the
grotesque deformity of Æsop, of wondrous apocryphal stories, of lying
legends, and gross anachronisms, that it is now universally condemned
as false, puerile, and unauthentic.[20] It is given up in the present
day, by general consent, as unworthy of the slightest credit.

AESOP’S FABLES

The Lion And The Mouse

A LION was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising
up angrily, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse
piteously entreated, saying: “If you would only spare my life, I would
be sure to repay your kindness.” The Lion laughed and let him go. It
happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters,
who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his
roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth, and set him free,
exclaiming:

“You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, not
expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favour; now you know
that it is possible for even a Mouse to confer benefits on a Lion.”

The Wolf And The Lamb

WOLF, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay
violent hands on him, but to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the
Wolf’s right to eat him. He thus addressed him: “Sirrah, last year you
grossly insulted me.” “Indeed,” bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of
voice, “I was not then born.” Then said the Wolf, “You feed in my
pasture.” “No, good sir,” replied the Lamb, “I have not yet tasted
grass.” Again said the Wolf, “You drink of my well.” “No,” exclaimed
the Lamb, “I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother’s milk is both
food and drink to me.” Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up,
saying, “Well! I won’t remain supperless, even though you refute every
one of my imputations.” The tyrant will always find a pretext for his
tyranny.

The Ass And The Grasshopper

AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted;
and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort
of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied,
“The dew.” The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a
short time died of hunger.

The Wolf and the Crane

A WOLF who had a bone stuck in his throat hired a Crane, for a large
sum, to put her head into his mouth and draw out the bone. When the
Crane had extracted the bone and demanded the promised payment, the
Wolf, grinning and grinding his teeth, exclaimed: “Why, you have surely
already had a sufficient recompense, in having been permitted to draw
out your head in safety from the mouth and jaws of a wolf.”

In serving the wicked, expect no reward, and be thankful if you escape
injury for your pains.

The Father And His Sons

A FATHER had a family of sons who were perpetually quarreling among
themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations,
he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of
disunion; and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a
bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the
hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in
pieces. They tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it.
He next opened the faggot, took the sticks separately, one by one, and
again put them into his sons’ hands, upon which they broke them easily.
He then addressed them in these words: “My sons, if you are of one
mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot,
uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies; but if you are divided
among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks.”

The Bat And The Weasels

A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded to be
spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by nature the
enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a
mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly afterwards the Bat again fell to
the ground and was caught by another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated
not to eat him. The Weasel said that he had a special hostility to
mice. The Bat assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bat, and thus
a second time escaped.

It is wise to turn circumstances to good account.

The Cock and the Jewel

A COCK, scratching for food for himself and his hens, found a precious
stone and exclaimed: “If your owner had found thee, and not I, he would
have taken thee up, and have set thee in thy first estate; but I have
found thee for no purpose. I would rather have one barleycorn than all
the jewels in the world.”

The Swallow and the Crow

THE SWALLOW and the Crow had a contention about their plumage. The Crow
put an end to the dispute by saying, “Your feathers are all very well
in the spring, but mine protect me against the winter.”

Fair weather friends are not worth much.

The Kingdom of the Lion

THE BEASTS of the field and forest had a Lion as their king. He was
neither wrathful, cruel, nor tyrannical, but just and gentle as a king
could be. During his reign he made a royal proclamation for a general
assembly of all the birds and beasts, and drew up conditions for a
universal league, in which the Wolf and the Lamb, the Panther and the
Kid, the Tiger and the Stag, the Dog and the Hare, should live together
in perfect peace and amity. The Hare said, “Oh, how I have longed to
see this day, in which the weak shall take their place with impunity by
the side of the strong.” And after the Hare said this, he ran for his
life.

The Traveler and His Dog

A TRAVELER about to set out on a journey saw his Dog stand at the door
stretching himself. He asked him sharply: “Why do you stand there
gaping? Everything is ready but you, so come with me instantly.” The
Dog, wagging his tail, replied: “O, master! I am quite ready; it is you
for whom I am waiting.”

The loiterer often blames delay on his more active friend.

The Ants and the Grasshopper

THE ANTS were spending a fine winter’s day drying grain collected in
the summertime. A Grasshopper, perishing with famine, passed by and
earnestly begged for a little food. The Ants inquired of him, “Why did
you not treasure up food during the summer?” He replied, “I had not
leisure enough. I passed the days in singing.” They then said in
derision: “If you were foolish enough to sing all the summer, you must
dance supperless to bed in the winter.”

The Hare and the Tortoise

A HARE one day ridiculed the short feet and slow pace of the Tortoise,
who replied, laughing: “Though you be swift as the wind, I will beat
you in a race.” The Hare, believing her assertion to be simply
impossible, assented to the proposal; and they agreed that the Fox
should choose the course and fix the goal. On the day appointed for the
race the two started together. The Tortoise never for a moment stopped,
but went on with a slow but steady pace straight to the end of the
course. The Hare, lying down by the wayside, fell fast asleep. At last
waking up, and moving as fast as he could, he saw the Tortoise had
reached the goal, and was comfortably dozing after her fatigue.

Slow but steady wins the race.

The Charcoal-Burner And The Fuller

A CHARCOAL-BURNER carried on his trade in his own house. One day he met
a friend, a Fuller, and entreated him to come and live with him, saying
that they should be far better neighbors and that their housekeeping
expenses would be lessened. The Fuller replied, “The arrangement is
impossible as far as I am concerned, for whatever I should whiten, you
would immediately blacken again with your charcoal.”

Like will draw like.

The Boy Hunting Locusts

A BOY was hunting for locusts. He had caught a goodly number, when he
saw a Scorpion, and mistaking him for a locust, reached out his hand to
take him. The Scorpion, showing his sting, said: “If you had but
touched me, my friend, you would have lost me, and all your locusts
too!”

The Fisherman Piping

A FISHERMAN skilled in music took his flute and his nets to the
seashore. Standing on a projecting rock, he played several tunes in the
hope that the fish, attracted by his melody, would of their own accord
dance into his net, which he had placed below. At last, having long
waited in vain, he laid aside his flute, and casting his net into the
sea, made an excellent haul of fish. When he saw them leaping about in
the net upon the rock he said: “O you most perverse creatures, when I
piped you would not dance, but now that I have ceased you do so
merrily.”

The Dog and the Shadow

A DOG, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his
mouth, saw his own shadow in the water and took it for that of another
Dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. He immediately let go
of his own, and fiercely attacked the other Dog to get his larger piece
from him. He thus lost both: that which he grasped at in the water,
because it was a shadow; and his own, because the stream swept it away.

Hercules and the Wagoner

A CARTER was driving a wagon along a country lane, when the wheels sank
down deep into a rut. The rustic driver, stupefied and aghast, stood
looking at the wagon, and did nothing but utter loud cries to Hercules
to come and help him. Hercules, it is said, appeared and thus addressed
him: “Put your shoulders to the wheels, my man. Goad on your bullocks,
and never more pray to me for help, until you have done your best to
help yourself, or depend upon it you will henceforth pray in vain.”

Self-help is the best help.

The Mole and His Mother

A MOLE, a creature blind from birth, once said to his Mother: “I am
sure than I can see, Mother!” In the desire to prove to him his
mistake, his Mother placed before him a few grains of frankincense, and
asked, “What is it?” The young Mole said, “It is a pebble.” His Mother
exclaimed: “My son, I am afraid that you are not only blind, but that
you have lost your sense of smell.”

The Herdsman and the Lost Bull

A HERDSMAN tending his flock in a forest lost a Bull-calf from the
fold. After a long and fruitless search, he made a vow that, if he
could only discover the thief who had stolen the Calf, he would offer a
lamb in sacrifice to Hermes, Pan, and the Guardian Deities of the
forest. Not long afterwards, as he ascended a small hillock, he saw at
its foot a Lion feeding on the Calf. Terrified at the sight, he lifted
his eyes and his hands to heaven, and said: “Just now I vowed to offer
a lamb to the Guardian Deities of the forest if I could only find out
who had robbed me; but now that I have discovered the thief, I would
willingly add a full-grown Bull to the Calf I have lost, if I may only
secure my own escape from him in safety.”

The Fawn and His Mother

A YOUNG FAWN once said to his Mother, “You are larger than a dog, and
swifter, and more used to running, and you have your horns as a
defense; why, then, O Mother! do the hounds frighten you so?” She
smiled, and said: “I know full well, my son, that all you say is true.
I have the advantages you mention, but when I hear even the bark of a
single dog I feel ready to faint, and fly away as fast as I can.”

No arguments will give courage to the coward.

The Ass, the Fox, and the Lion

THE ASS and the Fox, having entered into partnership together for their
mutual protection, went out into the forest to hunt. They had not
proceeded far when they met a Lion. The Fox, seeing imminent danger,
approached the Lion and promised to contrive for him the capture of the
Ass if the Lion would pledge his word not to harm the Fox. Then, upon
assuring the Ass that he would not be injured, the Fox led him to a
deep pit and arranged that he should fall into it. The Lion, seeing
that the Ass was secured, immediately clutched the Fox, and attacked
the Ass at his leisure.

The Flies and the Honey-Pot

A NUMBER of Flies were attracted to a jar of honey which had been
overturned in a housekeeper’s room, and placing their feet in it, ate
greedily. Their feet, however, became so smeared with the honey that
they could not use their wings, nor release themselves, and were
suffocated. Just as they were expiring, they exclaimed, “O foolish
creatures that we are, for the sake of a little pleasure we have
destroyed ourselves.”

Pleasure bought with pains, hurts.

The Lioness

A CONTROVERSY prevailed among the beasts of the field as to which of
the animals deserved the most credit for producing the greatest number
of whelps at a birth. They rushed clamorously into the presence of the
Lioness and demanded of her the settlement of the dispute. “And you,”
they said, “how many sons have you at a birth?” The Lioness laughed at
them, and said: “Why! I have only one; but that one is altogether a
thoroughbred Lion.”

The value is in the worth, not in the number.

The Farmer and the Snake

ONE WINTER a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had
compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake
was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts,
bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. “Oh,” cried the
Farmer with his last breath, “I am rightly served for pitying a
scoundrel.”

The greatest kindness will not bind the ungrateful.

The Man and the Lion

A MAN and a Lion traveled together through the forest. They soon began
to boast of their respective superiority to each other in strength and
prowess. As they were disputing, they passed a statue carved in stone,
which represented “a Lion strangled by a Man.” The traveler pointed to
it and said: “See there! How strong we are, and how we prevail over
even the king of beasts.” The Lion replied: “This statue was made by
one of you men. If we Lions knew how to erect statues, you would see
the Man placed under the paw of the Lion.”

One story is good, till another is told.

The Pomegranate, Apple-Tree, and Bramble

THE POMEGRANATE and Apple-Tree disputed as to which was the most
beautiful. When their strife was at its height, a Bramble from the
neighboring hedge lifted up its voice, and said in a boastful tone:
“Pray, my dear friends, in my presence at least cease from such vain
disputings.”

The Farmer and the Stork

A FARMER placed nets on his newly-sown plowlands and caught a number of
Cranes, which came to pick up his seed. With them he trapped a Stork
that had fractured his leg in the net and was earnestly beseeching the
Farmer to spare his life. “Pray save me, Master,” he said, “and let me
go free this once. My broken limb should excite your pity. Besides, I
am no Crane, I am a Stork, a bird of excellent character; and see how I
love and slave for my father and mother. Look too, at my feathers—they
are not the least like those of a Crane.” The Farmer laughed aloud and
said, “It may be all as you say, I only know this: I have taken you
with these robbers, the Cranes, and you must die in their company.”

Birds of a feather flock together.

The Mountain in Labor

A MOUNTAIN was once greatly agitated. Loud groans and noises were
heard, and crowds of people came from all parts to see what was the
matter. While they were assembled in anxious expectation of some
terrible calamity, out came a Mouse.

Don’t make much ado about nothing.

The Bear and the Fox

A BEAR boasted very much of his philanthropy, saying that of all
animals he was the most tender in his regard for man, for he had such
respect for him that he would not even touch his dead body. A Fox
hearing these words said with a smile to the Bear, “Oh! that you would
eat the dead and not the living.”

The Tortoise and the Eagle

A TORTOISE, lazily basking in the sun, complained to the sea-birds of
her hard fate, that no one would teach her to fly. An Eagle, hovering
near, heard her lamentation and demanded what reward she would give him
if he would take her aloft and float her in the air. “I will give you,”
she said, “all the riches of the Red Sea.” “I will teach you to fly
then,” said the Eagle; and taking her up in his talons he carried her
almost to the clouds suddenly he let her go, and she fell on a lofty
mountain, dashing her shell to pieces. The Tortoise exclaimed in the
moment of death: “I have deserved my present fate; for what had I to do
with wings and clouds, who can with difficulty move about on the
earth?”

If men had all they wished, they would be often ruined.

The Fox and the Goat

A FOX one day fell into a deep well and could find no means of escape.
A Goat, overcome with thirst, came to the same well, and seeing the
Fox, inquired if the water was good. Concealing his sad plight under a
merry guise, the Fox indulged in a lavish praise of the water, saying
it was excellent beyond measure, and encouraging him to descend. The
Goat, mindful only of his thirst, thoughtlessly jumped down, but just
as he drank, the Fox informed him of the difficulty they were both in
and suggested a scheme for their common escape. “If,” said he, “you
will place your forefeet upon the wall and bend your head, I will run
up your back and escape, and will help you out afterwards.” The Goat
readily assented and the Fox leaped upon his back. Steadying himself
with the Goat’s horns, he safely reached the mouth of the well and made
off as fast as he could. When the Goat upbraided him for breaking his
promise, he turned around and cried out, “You foolish old fellow! If
you had as many brains in your head as you have hairs in your beard,
you would never have gone down before you had inspected the way up, nor
have exposed yourself to dangers from which you had no means of
escape.”

Look before you leap.

The Raven and the Swan

A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful
plumage. Supposing that the Swan’s splendid white color arose from his
washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the
neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in
the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would,
he could not change their color, while through want of food he
perished.

Change of habit cannot alter Nature.

The Thirsty Pigeon

A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted
on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards
it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard,
jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell
to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.

Zeal should not outrun discretion.

The Dog in the Manger

A DOG lay in a manger, and by his growling and snapping prevented the
oxen from eating the hay which had been placed for them. “What a
selfish Dog!” said one of them to his companions; “he cannot eat the
hay himself, and yet refuses to allow those to eat who can.”

The Oxen and the Axle-Trees

A HEAVY WAGON was being dragged along a country lane by a team of Oxen.
The Axle-trees groaned and creaked terribly; whereupon the Oxen,
turning round, thus addressed the wheels: “Hullo there! why do you make
so much noise? We bear all the labor, and we, not you, ought to cry
out.”

Those who suffer most cry out the least.

The Farmer and the Cranes

SOME CRANES made their feeding grounds on some plowlands newly sown
with wheat. For a long time the Farmer, brandishing an empty sling,
chased them away by the terror he inspired; but when the birds found
that the sling was only swung in the air, they ceased to take any
notice of it and would not move. The Farmer, on seeing this, charged
his sling with stones, and killed a great number. The remaining birds
at once forsook his fields, crying to each other, “It is time for us to
be off to Liliput: for this man is no longer content to scare us, but
begins to show us in earnest what he can do.”

If words suffice not, blows must follow.

The Sick Lion

A LION, unable from old age and infirmities to provide himself with
food by force, resolved to do so by artifice. He returned to his den,
and lying down there, pretended to be sick, taking care that his
sickness should be publicly known. The beasts expressed their sorrow,
and came one by one to his den, where the Lion devoured them. After
many of the beasts had thus disappeared, the Fox discovered the trick
and presenting himself to the Lion, stood on the outside of the cave,
at a respectful distance, and asked him how he was. “I am very
middling,” replied the Lion, “but why do you stand without? Pray enter
within to talk with me.” “No, thank you,” said the Fox. “I notice that
there are many prints of feet entering your cave, but I see no trace of
any returning.”

He is wise who is warned by the misfortunes of others.

The Bear and the Two Travelers

TWO MEN were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their
path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself
in the branches. The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat
on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout,
and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance
of death as much as he could. The Bear soon left him, for it is said he
will not touch a dead body. When he was quite gone, the other Traveler
descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it
was the Bear had whispered in his ear. “He gave me this advice,” his
companion replied. “Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the
approach of danger.”

Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends.

The Fox Who Had Lost His Tail

A FOX caught in a trap escaped, but in so doing lost his tail.
Thereafter, feeling his life a burden from the shame and ridicule to
which he was exposed, he schemed to convince all the other Foxes that
being tailless was much more attractive, thus making up for his own
deprivation. He assembled a good many Foxes and publicly advised them
to cut off their tails, saying that they would not only look much
better without them, but that they would get rid of the weight of the
brush, which was a very great inconvenience. One of them interrupting
him said, “If you had not yourself lost your tail, my friend, you would
not thus counsel us.”

The Cat and the Cock

A CAT caught a Cock, and pondered how he might find a reasonable excuse
for eating him. He accused him of being a nuisance to men by crowing in
the nighttime and not permitting them to sleep. The Cock defended
himself by saying that he did this for the benefit of men, that they
might rise in time for their labours. The Cat replied, “Although you
abound in specious apologies, I shall not remain supperless;” and he
made a meal of him.

The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

ONCE UPON A TIME a Wolf resolved to disguise his appearance in order to
secure food more easily. Encased in the skin of a sheep, he pastured
with the flock deceiving the shepherd by his costume. In the evening he
was shut up by the shepherd in the fold; the gate was closed, and the
entrance made thoroughly secure. But the shepherd, returning to the
fold during the night to obtain meat for the next day, mistakenly
caught up the Wolf instead of a sheep, and killed him instantly.

Harm seek, harm find.

The Goat and the Goatherd

A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock. He
whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no attention
to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone, and breaking its
horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master. The Goat replied, “Why,
you silly fellow, the horn will speak though I be silent.”

Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid.

The Boasting Traveler

A MAN who had traveled in foreign lands boasted very much, on returning
to his own country, of the many wonderful and heroic feats he had
performed in the different places he had visited. Among other things,
he said that when he was at Rhodes he had leaped to such a distance
that no man of his day could leap anywhere near him as to that, there
were in Rhodes many persons who saw him do it and whom he could call as
witnesses. One of the bystanders interrupted him, saying: “Now, my good
man, if this be all true there is no need of witnesses. Suppose this to
be Rhodes, and leap for us.”

The Lion in Love

A LION demanded the daughter of a woodcutter in marriage. The Father,
unwilling to grant, and yet afraid to refuse his request, hit upon this
expedient to rid himself of his importunities. He expressed his
willingness to accept the Lion as the suitor of his daughter on one
condition: that he should allow him to extract his teeth, and cut off
his claws, as his daughter was fearfully afraid of both. The Lion
cheerfully assented to the proposal. But when the toothless, clawless
Lion returned to repeat his request, the Woodman, no longer afraid, set
upon him with his club, and drove him away into the forest.

The Miser

A MISER sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried
in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at
daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot and
decided to watch his movements. He soon discovered the secret of the
hidden treasure, and digging down, came to the lump of gold, and stole
it. The Miser, on his next visit, found the hole empty and began to
tear his hair and to make loud lamentations. A neighbor, seeing him
overcome with grief and learning the cause, said, “Pray do not grieve
so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that
the gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same service;
for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the
slightest use of it.”

The Porker, the Sheep, and the Goat

A young Pig was shut up in a fold-yard with a Goat and a Sheep. On one
occasion the shepherd laid hold of him, when he grunted, and squeaked,
and resisted violently. The Sheep and the Goat complained of his
distressing cries, and said, “He often handles us, and we do not cry
out.” To this he replied, “Your handling and mine are very different
things. He catches you only for your wool, or your milk, but he lays
hold on me for my very life.”

The Boy and the Filberts

A BOY put his hand into a pitcher full of filberts. He grasped as many
as he could possibly hold, but when he tried to pull out his hand, he
was prevented from doing so by the neck of the pitcher. Unwilling to
lose his filberts, and yet unable to withdraw his hand, he burst into
tears and bitterly lamented his disappointment. A bystander said to
him, “Be satisfied with half the quantity, and you will readily draw
out your hand.”

Do not attempt too much at once.

The Frogs Asking for a King

THE FROGS, grieved at having no established Ruler, sent ambassadors to
Jupiter entreating for a King. Perceiving their simplicity, he cast
down a huge log into the lake. The Frogs were terrified at the splash
occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of the pool.
But as soon as they realized that the huge log was motionless, they
swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up,
and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to
think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler,
and sent a second deputation to Jupiter to pray that he would set over
them another sovereign. He then gave them an Eel to govern them. When
the Frogs discovered his easy good nature, they sent yet a third time
to Jupiter to beg him to choose for them still another King. Jupiter,
displeased with all their complaints, sent a Heron, who preyed upon the
Frogs day by day till there were none left to croak upon the lake.

The Laborer and the Snake

A SNAKE, having made his hole close to the porch of a cottage,
inflicted a mortal bite on the Cottager’s infant son. Grieving over his
loss, the Father resolved to kill the Snake. The next day, when it came
out of its hole for food, he took up his axe, but by swinging too
hastily, missed its head and cut off only the end of its tail. After
some time the Cottager, afraid that the Snake would bite him also,
endeavored to make peace, and placed some bread and salt in the hole.
The Snake, slightly hissing, said: “There can henceforth be no peace
between us; for whenever I see you I shall remember the loss of my
tail, and whenever you see me you will be thinking of the death of your
son.”

No one truly forgets injuries in the presence of him who caused the
injury.

The Lion, the Mouse, and the Fox

A LION, fatigued by the heat of a summer’s day, fell fast asleep in his
den. A Mouse ran over his mane and ears and woke him from his slumbers.
He rose up and shook himself in great wrath, and searched every corner
of his den to find the Mouse. A Fox seeing him said: “A fine Lion you
are, to be frightened of a Mouse.” “’Tis not the Mouse I fear,” said
the Lion; “I resent his familiarity and ill-breeding.”

Little liberties are great offenses.

The Horse and Groom

A GROOM used to spend whole days in currycombing and rubbing down his
Horse, but at the same time stole his oats and sold them for his own
profit. “Alas!” said the Horse, “if you really wish me to be in good
condition, you should groom me less, and feed me more.”

The Ass and the Mule

A MULETEER set forth on a journey, driving before him an Ass and a
Mule, both well laden. The Ass, as long as he traveled along the plain,
carried his load with ease, but when he began to ascend the steep path
of the mountain, felt his load to be more than he could bear. He
entreated his companion to relieve him of a small portion, that he
might carry home the rest; but the Mule paid no attention to the
request. The Ass shortly afterwards fell down dead under his burden.
Not knowing what else to do in so wild a region, the Muleteer placed
upon the Mule the load carried by the Ass in addition to his own, and
at the top of all placed the hide of the Ass, after he had skinned him.
The Mule, groaning beneath his heavy burden, said to himself: “I am
treated according to my deserts. If I had only been willing to assist
the Ass a little in his need, I should not now be bearing, together
with his burden, himself as well.”

The Ass and the Lapdog

A MAN had an Ass, and a Maltese Lapdog, a very great beauty. The Ass
was left in a stable and had plenty of oats and hay to eat, just as any
other Ass would. The Lapdog knew many tricks and was a great favourite
with his master, who often fondled him and seldom went out to dine
without bringing him home some tidbit to eat. The Ass, on the contrary,
had much work to do in grinding the corn-mill and in carrying wood from
the forest or burdens from the farm. He often lamented his own hard
fate and contrasted it with the luxury and idleness of the Lapdog, till
at last one day he broke his cords and halter, and galloped into his
master’s house, kicking up his heels without measure, and frisking and
fawning as well as he could. He next tried to jump about his master as
he had seen the Lapdog do, but he broke the table and smashed all the
dishes upon it to atoms. He then attempted to lick his master, and
jumped upon his back. The servants, hearing the strange hubbub and
perceiving the danger of their master, quickly relieved him, and drove
out the Ass to his stable with kicks and clubs and cuffs. The Ass, as
he returned to his stall beaten nearly to death, thus lamented: “I have
brought it all on myself! Why could I not have been contented to labor
with my companions, and not wish to be idle all the day like that
useless little Lapdog!”

The Oxen and the Butchers

THE OXEN once upon a time sought to destroy the Butchers, who practiced
a trade destructive to their race. They assembled on a certain day to
carry out their purpose, and sharpened their horns for the contest. But
one of them who was exceedingly old (for many a field had he plowed)
thus spoke: “These Butchers, it is true, slaughter us, but they do so
with skillful hands, and with no unnecessary pain. If we get rid of
them, we shall fall into the hands of unskillful operators, and thus
suffer a double death: for you may be assured, that though all the
Butchers should perish, yet will men never want beef.”

Do not be in a hurry to change one evil for another.

The Shepherd’s Boy and the Wolf

A SHEPHERD-BOY, who watched a flock of sheep near a village, brought
out the villagers three or four times by crying out, “Wolf! Wolf!” and
when his neighbors came to help him, laughed at them for their pains.
The Wolf, however, did truly come at last. The Shepherd-boy, now really
alarmed, shouted in an agony of terror: “Pray, do come and help me; the
Wolf is killing the sheep;” but no one paid any heed to his cries, nor
rendered any assistance. The Wolf, having no cause of fear, at his
leisure lacerated or destroyed the whole flock.

There is no believing a liar, even when he speaks the truth.

The Boys and the Frogs

SOME BOYS, playing near a pond, saw a number of Frogs in the water and
began to pelt them with stones. They killed several of them, when one
of the Frogs, lifting his head out of the water, cried out: “Pray stop,
my boys: what is sport to you, is death to us.”

The Salt Merchant and His Ass

A PEDDLER drove his Ass to the seashore to buy salt. His road home lay
across a stream into which his Ass, making a false step, fell by
accident and rose up again with his load considerably lighter, as the
water melted the sack. The Peddler retraced his steps and refilled his
panniers with a larger quantity of salt than before. When he came again
to the stream, the Ass fell down on purpose in the same spot, and,
regaining his feet with the weight of his load much diminished, brayed
triumphantly as if he had obtained what he desired. The Peddler saw
through his trick and drove him for the third time to the coast, where
he bought a cargo of sponges instead of salt. The Ass, again playing
the fool, fell down on purpose when he reached the stream, but the
sponges became swollen with water, greatly increasing his load. And
thus his trick recoiled on him, for he now carried on his back a double
burden.

The Mischievous Dog

A DOG used to run up quietly to the heels of everyone he met, and to
bite them without notice. His master suspended a bell about his neck so
that the Dog might give notice of his presence wherever he went.
Thinking it a mark of distinction, the Dog grew proud of his bell and
went tinkling it all over the marketplace. One day an old hound said to
him: “Why do you make such an exhibition of yourself? That bell that
you carry is not, believe me, any order of merit, but on the contrary a
mark of disgrace, a public notice to all men to avoid you as an ill
mannered dog.”

Notoriety is often mistaken for fame.

The Goatherd and the Wild Goats

A GOATHERD, driving his flock from their pasture at eventide, found
some Wild Goats mingled among them, and shut them up together with his
own for the night. The next day it snowed very hard, so that he could
not take the herd to their usual feeding places, but was obliged to
keep them in the fold. He gave his own goats just sufficient food to
keep them alive, but fed the strangers more abundantly in the hope of
enticing them to stay with him and of making them his own. When the
thaw set in, he led them all out to feed, and the Wild Goats scampered
away as fast as they could to the mountains. The Goatherd scolded them
for their ingratitude in leaving him, when during the storm he had
taken more care of them than of his own herd. One of them, turning
about, said to him: “That is the very reason why we are so cautious;
for if you yesterday treated us better than the Goats you have had so
long, it is plain also that if others came after us, you would in the
same manner prefer them to ourselves.”

Old friends cannot with impunity be sacrificed for new ones.

The Man and His Two Sweethearts

A MIDDLE-AGED MAN, whose hair had begun to turn gray, courted two women
at the same time. One of them was young, and the other well advanced in
years. The elder woman, ashamed to be courted by a man younger than
herself, made a point, whenever her admirer visited her, to pull out
some portion of his black hairs. The younger, on the contrary, not
wishing to become the wife of an old man, was equally zealous in
removing every gray hair she could find. Thus it came to pass that
between them both he very soon found that he had not a hair left on his
head.

Those who seek to please everybody please nobody.

The Sick Stag

A SICK STAG lay down in a quiet corner of its pasture-ground. His
companions came in great numbers to inquire after his health, and each
one helped himself to a share of the food which had been placed for his
use; so that he died, not from his sickness, but from the failure of
the means of living.

Evil companions bring more hurt than profit.

The Boy and the Nettles

A BOY was stung by a Nettle. He ran home and told his Mother, saying,
“Although it hurts me very much, I only touched it gently.” “That was
just why it stung you,” said his Mother. “The next time you touch a
Nettle, grasp it boldly, and it will be soft as silk to your hand, and
not in the least hurt you.”

Whatever you do, do with all your might.

The Astronomer

AN ASTRONOMER used to go out at night to observe the stars. One
evening, as he wandered through the suburbs with his whole attention
fixed on the sky, he fell accidentally into a deep well. While he
lamented and bewailed his sores and bruises, and cried loudly for help,
a neighbor ran to the well, and learning what had happened said: “Hark
ye, old fellow, why, in striving to pry into what is in heaven, do you
not manage to see what is on earth?”

The Wolves and the Sheep

“WHY SHOULD there always be this fear and slaughter between us?” said
the Wolves to the Sheep. “Those evil-disposed Dogs have much to answer
for. They always bark whenever we approach you and attack us before we
have done any harm. If you would only dismiss them from your heels,
there might soon be treaties of peace and reconciliation between us.”
The Sheep, poor silly creatures, were easily beguiled and dismissed the
Dogs, whereupon the Wolves destroyed the unguarded flock at their own
pleasure.

The Cat and the Birds

A CAT, hearing that the Birds in a certain aviary were ailing dressed
himself up as a physician, and, taking his cane and a bag of
instruments becoming his profession, went to call on them. He knocked
at the door and inquired of the inmates how they all did, saying that
if they were ill, he would be happy to prescribe for them and cure
them. They replied, “We are all very well, and shall continue so, if
you will only be good enough to go away, and leave us as we are.”

The Vain Jackdaw

JUPITER DETERMINED, it is said, to create a sovereign over the birds,
and made proclamation that on a certain day they should all present
themselves before him, when he would himself choose the most beautiful
among them to be king. The Jackdaw, knowing his own ugliness, searched
through the woods and fields, and collected the feathers which had
fallen from the wings of his companions, and stuck them in all parts of
his body, hoping thereby to make himself the most beautiful of all.
When the appointed day arrived, and the birds had assembled before
Jupiter, the Jackdaw also made his appearance in his many feathered
finery. But when Jupiter proposed to make him king because of the
beauty of his plumage, the birds indignantly protested, and each
plucked from him his own feathers, leaving the Jackdaw nothing but a
Jackdaw.

The Kid and the Wolf

A KID standing on the roof of a house, out of harm’s way, saw a Wolf
passing by and immediately began to taunt and revile him. The Wolf,
looking up, said, “Sirrah! I hear thee: yet it is not thou who mockest
me, but the roof on which thou art standing.”

Time and place often give the advantage to the weak over the strong.

The Old Woman and the Physician

AN OLD WOMAN having lost the use of her eyes, called in a Physician to
heal them, and made this bargain with him in the presence of witnesses:
that if he should cure her blindness, he should receive from her a sum
of money; but if her infirmity remained, she should give him nothing.
This agreement being made, the Physician, time after time, applied his
salve to her eyes, and on every visit took something away, stealing all
her property little by little. And when he had got all she had, he
healed her and demanded the promised payment. The Old Woman, when she
recovered her sight and saw none of her goods in her house, would give
him nothing. The Physician insisted on his claim, and, as she still
refused, summoned her before the Judge. The Old Woman, standing up in
the Court, argued: “This man here speaks the truth in what he says; for
I did promise to give him a sum of money if I should recover my sight:
but if I continued blind, I was to give him nothing. Now he declares
that I am healed. I on the contrary affirm that I am still blind; for
when I lost the use of my eyes, I saw in my house various chattels and
valuable goods: but now, though he swears I am cured of my blindness, I
am not able to see a single thing in it.”

The Ox and the Frog

AN OX drinking at a pool trod on a brood of young frogs and crushed one
of them to death. The Mother coming up, and missing one of her sons,
inquired of his brothers what had become of him. “He is dead, dear
Mother; for just now a very huge beast with four great feet came to the
pool and crushed him to death with his cloven heel.” The Frog, puffing
herself out, inquired, “if the beast was as big as that in size.”
“Cease, Mother, to puff yourself out,” said her son, “and do not be
angry; for you would, I assure you, sooner burst than successfully
imitate the hugeness of that monster.”

The Farmer and His Sons

A FATHER, being on the point of death, wished to be sure that his sons
would give the same attention to his farm as he himself had given it.
He called them to his bedside and said, “My sons, there is a great
treasure hid in one of my vineyards.” The sons, after his death, took
their spades and mattocks and carefully dug over every portion of their
land. They found no treasure, but the vines repaid their labor by an
extraordinary and superabundant crop.

The Heifer and the Ox

A HEIFER saw an Ox hard at work harnessed to a plow, and tormented him
with reflections on his unhappy fate in being compelled to labor.
Shortly afterwards, at the harvest festival, the owner released the Ox
from his yoke, but bound the Heifer with cords and led him away to the
altar to be slain in honour of the occasion. The Ox saw what was being
done, and said with a smile to the Heifer: “For this you were allowed
to live in idleness, because you were presently to be sacrificed.”

The Fighting Cocks and the Eagle

TWO GAME COCKS were fiercely fighting for the mastery of the farmyard.
One at last put the other to flight. The vanquished Cock skulked away
and hid himself in a quiet corner, while the conqueror, flying up to a
high wall, flapped his wings and crowed exultingly with all his might.
An Eagle sailing through the air pounced upon him and carried him off
in his talons. The vanquished Cock immediately came out of his corner,
and ruled henceforth with undisputed mastery.

Pride goes before destruction.

The Charger and the Miller

A CHARGER, feeling the infirmities of age, was sent to work in a mill
instead of going out to battle. But when he was compelled to grind
instead of serving in the wars, he bewailed his change of fortune and
called to mind his former state, saying, “Ah! Miller, I had indeed to
go campaigning before, but I was barbed from counter to tail, and a man
went along to groom me; and now I cannot understand what ailed me to
prefer the mill before the battle.” “Forbear,” said the Miller to him,
“harping on what was of yore, for it is the common lot of mortals to
sustain the ups and downs of fortune.”

The Fox and the Monkey

A MONKEY once danced in an assembly of the Beasts, and so pleased them
all by his performance that they elected him their King. A Fox, envying
him the honour, discovered a piece of meat lying in a trap, and leading
the Monkey to the place where it was, said that she had found a store,
but had not used it, she had kept it for him as treasure trove of his
kingdom, and counseled him to lay hold of it. The Monkey approached
carelessly and was caught in the trap; and on his accusing the Fox of
purposely leading him into the snare, she replied, “O Monkey, and are
you, with such a mind as yours, going to be King over the Beasts?”

The Horse and His Rider

A HORSE SOLDIER took the utmost pains with his charger. As long as the
war lasted, he looked upon him as his fellow-helper in all emergencies
and fed him carefully with hay and corn. But when the war was over, he
only allowed him chaff to eat and made him carry heavy loads of wood,
subjecting him to much slavish drudgery and ill-treatment. War was
again proclaimed, however, and when the trumpet summoned him to his
standard, the Soldier put on his charger its military trappings, and
mounted, being clad in his heavy coat of mail. The Horse fell down
straightway under the weight, no longer equal to the burden, and said
to his master, “You must now go to the war on foot, for you have
transformed me from a Horse into an Ass; and how can you expect that I
can again turn in a moment from an Ass to a Horse?”

The Belly and the Members

THE MEMBERS of the Body rebelled against the Belly, and said, “Why
should we be perpetually engaged in administering to your wants, while
you do nothing but take your rest, and enjoy yourself in luxury and
self-indulgence?” The Members carried out their resolve and refused
their assistance to the Belly. The whole Body quickly became
debilitated, and the hands, feet, mouth, and eyes, when too late,
repented of their folly.

The Widow and Her Little Maidens

A WIDOW who was fond of cleaning had two little maidens to wait on her.
She was in the habit of waking them early in the morning, at cockcrow.
The maidens, aggravated by such excessive labor, resolved to kill the
cock who roused their mistress so early. When they had done this, they
found that they had only prepared for themselves greater troubles, for
their mistress, no longer hearing the hour from the cock, woke them up
to their work in the middle of the night.

The Vine and the Goat

A VINE was luxuriant in the time of vintage with leaves and grapes. A
Goat, passing by, nibbled its young tendrils and its leaves. The Vine
addressed him and said: “Why do you thus injure me without a cause, and
crop my leaves? Is there no young grass left? But I shall not have to
wait long for my just revenge; for if you now should crop my leaves,
and cut me down to my root, I shall provide the wine to pour over you
when you are led as a victim to the sacrifice.”

Jupiter and the Monkey

JUPITER ISSUED a proclamation to all the beasts of the forest and
promised a royal reward to the one whose offspring should be deemed the
handsomest. The Monkey came with the rest and presented, with all a
mother’s tenderness, a flat-nosed, hairless, ill-featured young Monkey
as a candidate for the promised reward. A general laugh saluted her on
the presentation of her son. She resolutely said, “I know not whether
Jupiter will allot the prize to my son, but this I do know, that he is
at least in the eyes of me his mother, the dearest, handsomest, and
most beautiful of all.”

The Hawk, the Kite, and the Pigeons

THE PIGEONS, terrified by the appearance of a Kite, called upon the
Hawk to defend them. He at once consented. When they had admitted him
into the cote, they found that he made more havoc and slew a larger
number of them in one day than the Kite could pounce upon in a whole
year.

Avoid a remedy that is worse than the disease.

The Dolphins, the Whales, and the Sprat

THE DOLPHINS and Whales waged a fierce war with each other. When the
battle was at its height, a Sprat lifted its head out of the waves and
said that he would reconcile their differences if they would accept him
as an umpire. One of the Dolphins replied, “We would far rather be
destroyed in our battle with each other than admit any interference
from you in our affairs.”

The Swallow, the Serpent, and the Court of Justice

A SWALLOW, returning from abroad and especially fond of dwelling with
men, built herself a nest in the wall of a Court of Justice and there
hatched seven young birds. A Serpent gliding past the nest from its
hole in the wall ate up the young unfledged nestlings. The Swallow,
finding her nest empty, lamented greatly and exclaimed: “Woe to me a
stranger! that in this place where all others’ rights are protected, I
alone should suffer wrong.”

The Two Pots

A RIVER carried down in its stream two Pots, one made of earthenware
and the other of brass. The Earthen Pot said to the Brass Pot, “Pray
keep at a distance and do not come near me, for if you touch me ever so
slightly, I shall be broken in pieces, and besides, I by no means wish
to come near you.”

Equals make the best friends.

The Shepherd and the Wolf

A SHEPHERD once found the whelp of a Wolf and brought it up, and after
a while taught it to steal lambs from the neighboring flocks. The Wolf,
having shown himself an apt pupil, said to the Shepherd, “Since you
have taught me to steal, you must keep a sharp lookout, or you will
lose some of your own flock.”

The Crab and Its Mother

A CRAB said to her son, “Why do you walk so one-sided, my child? It is
far more becoming to go straight forward.” The young Crab replied:
“Quite true, dear Mother; and if you will show me the straight way, I
will promise to walk in it.” The Mother tried in vain, and submitted
without remonstrance to the reproof of her child.

Example is more powerful than precept.

The Father and His Two Daughters

A MAN had two daughters, the one married to a gardener, and the other
to a tile-maker. After a time he went to the daughter who had married
the gardener, and inquired how she was and how all things went with
her. She said, “All things are prospering with me, and I have only one
wish, that there may be a heavy fall of rain, in order that the plants
may be well watered.” Not long after, he went to the daughter who had
married the tilemaker, and likewise inquired of her how she fared; she
replied, “I want for nothing, and have only one wish, that the dry
weather may continue, and the sun shine hot and bright, so that the
bricks might be dried.” He said to her, “If your sister wishes for
rain, and you for dry weather, with which of the two am I to join my
wishes?”

The Thief and His Mother

A BOY stole a lesson-book from one of his schoolfellows and took it
home to his Mother. She not only abstained from beating him, but
encouraged him. He next time stole a cloak and brought it to her, and
she again commended him. The Youth, advanced to adulthood, proceeded to
steal things of still greater value. At last he was caught in the very
act, and having his hands bound behind him, was led away to the place
of public execution. His Mother followed in the crowd and violently
beat her breast in sorrow, whereupon the young man said, “I wish to say
something to my Mother in her ear.” She came close to him, and he
quickly seized her ear with his teeth and bit it off. The Mother
upbraided him as an unnatural child, whereon he replied, “Ah! if you
had beaten me when I first stole and brought to you that lesson-book, I
should not have come to this, nor have been thus led to a disgraceful
death.”

The Old Man and Death

AN OLD MAN was employed in cutting wood in the forest, and, in carrying
the faggots to the city for sale one day, became very wearied with his
long journey. He sat down by the wayside, and throwing down his load,
besought “Death” to come. “Death” immediately appeared in answer to his
summons and asked for what reason he had called him. The Old Man
hurriedly replied, “That, lifting up the load, you may place it again
upon my shoulders.”

The Fir-Tree and the Bramble

A FIR-TREE said boastingly to the Bramble, “You are useful for nothing
at all; while I am everywhere used for roofs and houses.” The Bramble
answered: “You poor creature, if you would only call to mind the axes
and saws which are about to hew you down, you would have reason to wish
that you had grown up a Bramble, not a Fir-Tree.”

Better poverty without care, than riches with.

The Æthiop

THE PURCHASER of a black servant was persuaded that the color of his
skin arose from dirt contracted through the neglect of his former
masters. On bringing him home he resorted to every means of cleaning,
and subjected the man to incessant scrubbings. The servant caught a
severe cold, but he never changed his color or complexion.

What’s bred in the bone will stick to the flesh.

The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk

A MOUSE who always lived on the land, by an unlucky chance formed an
intimate acquaintance with a Frog, who lived for the most part in the
water. The Frog, one day intent on mischief, bound the foot of the
Mouse tightly to his own. Thus joined together, the Frog first of all
led his friend the Mouse to the meadow where they were accustomed to
find their food. After this, he gradually led him towards the pool in
which he lived, until reaching the very brink, he suddenly jumped in,
dragging the Mouse with him. The Frog enjoyed the water amazingly, and
swam croaking about, as if he had done a good deed. The unhappy Mouse
was soon suffocated by the water, and his dead body floated about on
the surface, tied to the foot of the Frog. A Hawk observed it, and,
pouncing upon it with his talons, carried it aloft. The Frog, being
still fastened to the leg of the Mouse, was also carried off a
prisoner, and was eaten by the Hawk.

Harm hatch, harm catch.

The Fisherman and His Nets

A FISHERMAN, engaged in his calling, made a very successful cast and
captured a great haul of fish. He managed by a skillful handling of his
net to retain all the large fish and to draw them to the shore; but he
could not prevent the smaller fish from falling back through the meshes
of the net into the sea.

The Wolf and the Sheep

A WOLF, sorely wounded and bitten by dogs, lay sick and maimed in his
lair. Being in want of food, he called to a Sheep who was passing, and
asked him to fetch some water from a stream flowing close beside him.
“For,” he said, “if you will bring me drink, I will find means to
provide myself with meat.” “Yes,” said the Sheep, “if I should bring
you the draught, you would doubtless make me provide the meat also.”

Hypocritical speeches are easily seen through.

The Old Woman and the Wine-Jar

AN OLD WOMAN found an empty jar which had lately been full of prime old
wine and which still retained the fragrant smell of its former
contents. She greedily placed it several times to her nose, and drawing
it backwards and forwards said, “O most delicious! How nice must the
Wine itself have been, when it leaves behind in the very vessel which
contained it so sweet a perfume!”

The memory of a good deed lives.

The Man Bitten by a Dog

A MAN who had been bitten by a Dog went about in quest of someone who
might heal him. A friend, meeting him and learning what he wanted,
said, “If you would be cured, take a piece of bread, and dip it in the
blood from your wound, and go and give it to the Dog that bit you.” The
Man who had been bitten laughed at this advice and said, “Why? If I
should do so, it would be as if I should beg every Dog in the town to
bite me.”

Benefits bestowed upon the evil-disposed increase their means of
injuring you.

The Huntsman and the Fisherman

A HUNTSMAN, returning with his dogs from the field, fell in by chance
with a Fisherman who was bringing home a basket well laden with fish.
The Huntsman wished to have the fish, and their owner experienced an
equal longing for the contents of the game-bag. They quickly agreed to
exchange the produce of their day’s sport. Each was so well pleased
with his bargain that they made for some time the same exchange day
after day. Finally a neighbor said to them, “If you go on in this way,
you will soon destroy by frequent use the pleasure of your exchange,
and each will again wish to retain the fruits of his own sport.”

Abstain and enjoy.

The Fox and the Crow

A CROW having stolen a bit of meat, perched in a tree and held it in
her beak. A Fox, seeing this, longed to possess the meat himself, and
by a wily stratagem succeeded. “How handsome is the Crow,” he
exclaimed, “in the beauty of her shape and in the fairness of her
complexion! Oh, if her voice were only equal to her beauty, she would
deservedly be considered the Queen of Birds!” This he said deceitfully;
but the Crow, anxious to refute the reflection cast upon her voice, set
up a loud caw and dropped the flesh. The Fox quickly picked it up, and
thus addressed the Crow: “My good Crow, your voice is right enough, but
your wit is wanting.”

The Widow and the Sheep

A CERTAIN poor widow had one solitary Sheep. At shearing time, wishing
to take his fleece and to avoid expense, she sheared him herself, but
used the shears so unskillfully that with the fleece she sheared the
flesh. The Sheep, writhing with pain, said, “Why do you hurt me so,
Mistress? What weight can my blood add to the wool? If you want my
flesh, there is the butcher, who will kill me in an instant; but if you
want my fleece and wool, there is the shearer, who will shear and not
hurt me.”

The least outlay is not always the greatest gain.

The Playful Ass

AN ASS climbed up to the roof of a building, and frisking about there,
broke in the tiling. The owner went up after him and quickly drove him
down, beating him severely with a thick wooden cudgel. The Ass said,
“Why, I saw the Monkey do this very thing yesterday, and you all
laughed heartily, as if it afforded you very great amusement.”

The Stag in the Ox-Stall

A STAG, roundly chased by the hounds and blinded by fear to the danger
he was running into, took shelter in a farmyard and hid himself in a
shed among the oxen. An Ox gave him this kindly warning: “O unhappy
creature! why should you thus, of your own accord, incur destruction
and trust yourself in the house of your enemy?” The Stag replied: “Only
allow me, friend, to stay where I am, and I will undertake to find some
favourable opportunity of effecting my escape.” At the approach of the
evening the herdsman came to feed his cattle, but did not see the Stag;
and even the farm-bailiff with several laborers passed through the shed
and failed to notice him. The Stag, congratulating himself on his
safety, began to express his sincere thanks to the Oxen who had kindly
helped him in the hour of need. One of them again answered him: “We
indeed wish you well, but the danger is not over. There is one other
yet to pass through the shed, who has as it were a hundred eyes, and
until he has come and gone, your life is still in peril.” At that
moment the master himself entered, and having had to complain that his
oxen had not been properly fed, he went up to their racks and cried
out: “Why is there such a scarcity of fodder? There is not half enough
straw for them to lie on. Those lazy fellows have not even swept the
cobwebs away.” While he thus examined everything in turn, he spied the
tips of the antlers of the Stag peeping out of the straw. Then
summoning his laborers, he ordered that the Stag should be seized and
killed.

The Two Dogs

A MAN had two dogs: a Hound, trained to assist him in his sports, and a
Housedog, taught to watch the house. When he returned home after a good
day’s sport, he always gave the Housedog a large share of his spoil.
The Hound, feeling much aggrieved at this, reproached his companion,
saying, “It is very hard to have all this labor, while you, who do not
assist in the chase, luxuriate on the fruits of my exertions.” The
Housedog replied, “Do not blame me, my friend, but find fault with the
master, who has not taught me to labor, but to depend for subsistence
on the labor of others.”

Children are not to be blamed for the faults of their parents.

The Wild Ass and the Lion

A WILD ASS and a Lion entered into an alliance so that they might
capture the beasts of the forest with greater ease. The Lion agreed to
assist the Wild Ass with his strength, while the Wild Ass gave the Lion
the benefit of his greater speed. When they had taken as many beasts as
their necessities required, the Lion undertook to distribute the prey,
and for this purpose divided it into three shares. “I will take the
first share,” he said, “because I am King: and the second share, as a
partner with you in the chase: and the third share (believe me) will be
a source of great evil to you, unless you willingly resign it to me,
and set off as fast as you can.”

Might makes right.

The Lion and the Dolphin

A LION roaming by the seashore saw a Dolphin lift up its head out of
the waves, and suggested that they contract an alliance, saying that of
all the animals they ought to be the best friends, since the one was
the king of beasts on the earth, and the other was the sovereign ruler
of all the inhabitants of the ocean. The Dolphin gladly consented to
this request. Not long afterwards the Lion had a combat with a wild
bull, and called on the Dolphin to help him. The Dolphin, though quite
willing to give him assistance, was unable to do so, as he could not by
any means reach the land. The Lion abused him as a traitor. The Dolphin
replied, “Nay, my friend, blame not me, but Nature, which, while giving
me the sovereignty of the sea, has quite denied me the power of living
upon the land.”

The Eagle and the Arrow

AN EAGLE sat on a lofty rock, watching the movements of a Hare whom he
sought to make his prey. An archer, who saw the Eagle from a place of
concealment, took an accurate aim and wounded him mortally. The Eagle
gave one look at the arrow that had entered his heart and saw in that
single glance that its feathers had been furnished by himself. “It is a
double grief to me,” he exclaimed, “that I should perish by an arrow
feathered from my own wings.”

The Sick Kite

A KITE, sick unto death, said to his mother: “O Mother! do not mourn,
but at once invoke the gods that my life may be prolonged.” She
replied, “Alas! my son, which of the gods do you think will pity you?
Is there one whom you have not outraged by filching from their very
altars a part of the sacrifice offered up to them?”

We must make friends in prosperity if we would have their help in
adversity.

The Lion and the Boar

ON A SUMMER DAY, when the great heat induced a general thirst among the
beasts, a Lion and a Boar came at the same moment to a small well to
drink. They fiercely disputed which of them should drink first, and
were soon engaged in the agonies of a mortal combat. When they stopped
suddenly to catch their breath for a fiercer renewal of the fight, they
saw some Vultures waiting in the distance to feast on the one that
should fall first. They at once made up their quarrel, saying, “It is
better for us to make friends, than to become the food of Crows or
Vultures.”

The Mice in Council

THE MICE summoned a council to decide how they might best devise means
of warning themselves of the approach of their great enemy the Cat.
Among the many plans suggested, the one that found most favour was the
proposal to tie a bell to the neck of the Cat, so that the Mice, being
warned by the sound of the tinkling, might run away and hide themselves
in their holes at his approach. But when the Mice further debated who
among them should thus “bell the Cat,” there was no one found to do it.

The One-Eyed Doe

A DOE blind in one eye was accustomed to graze as near to the edge of
the cliff as she possibly could, in the hope of securing her greater
safety. She turned her sound eye towards the land that she might get
the earliest tidings of the approach of hunter or hound, and her
injured eye towards the sea, from whence she entertained no
anticipation of danger. Some boatmen sailing by saw her, and taking a
successful aim, mortally wounded her. Yielding up her last breath, she
gasped forth this lament: “O wretched creature that I am! to take such
precaution against the land, and after all to find this seashore, to
which I had come for safety, so much more perilous.”

The Mice and the Weasels

THE WEASELS and the Mice waged a perpetual war with each other, in
which much blood was shed. The Weasels were always the victors. The
Mice thought that the cause of their frequent defeats was that they had
no leaders set apart from the general army to command them, and that
they were exposed to dangers from lack of discipline. They therefore
chose as leaders Mice that were most renowned for their family descent,
strength, and counsel, as well as those most noted for their courage in
the fight, so that they might be better marshaled in battle array and
formed into troops, regiments, and battalions. When all this was done,
and the army disciplined, and the herald Mouse had duly proclaimed war
by challenging the Weasels, the newly chosen generals bound their heads
with straws, that they might be more conspicuous to all their troops.
Scarcely had the battle begun, when a great rout overwhelmed the Mice,
who scampered off as fast as they could to their holes. The generals,
not being able to get in on account of the ornaments on their heads,
were all captured and eaten by the Weasels.

The more honour the more danger.

The Shepherd and the Sea

A SHEPHERD, keeping watch over his sheep near the shore, saw the Sea
very calm and smooth, and longed to make a voyage with a view to
commerce. He sold all his flock, invested it in a cargo of dates, and
set sail. But a very great tempest came on, and the ship being in
danger of sinking, he threw all his merchandise overboard, and barely
escaped with his life in the empty ship. Not long afterwards when
someone passed by and observed the unruffled calm of the Sea, he
interrupted him and said, “It is again in want of dates, and therefore
looks quiet.”

The Ass, the Cock, and the Lion

AN ASS and a Cock were in a straw-yard together when a Lion, desperate
from hunger, approached the spot. He was about to spring upon the Ass,
when the Cock (to the sound of whose voice the Lion, it is said, has a
singular aversion) crowed loudly, and the Lion fled away as fast as he
could. The Ass, observing his trepidation at the mere crowing of a Cock
summoned courage to attack him, and galloped after him for that
purpose. He had run no long distance, when the Lion, turning about,
seized him and tore him to pieces.

False confidence often leads into danger.

The Rivers and the Sea

THE RIVERS joined together to complain to the Sea, saying, “Why is it
that when we flow into your tides so potable and sweet, you work in us
such a change, and make us salty and unfit to drink?” The Sea,
perceiving that they intended to throw the blame on him, said, “Pray
cease to flow into me, and then you will not be made briny.”

The Wild Boar and the Fox

A WILD BOAR stood under a tree and rubbed his tusks against the trunk.
A Fox passing by asked him why he thus sharpened his teeth when there
was no danger threatening from either huntsman or hound. He replied, “I
do it advisedly; for it would never do to have to sharpen my weapons
just at the time I ought to be using them.”

To be well prepared for war is the best guarantee of peace.

The Milk-Woman and Her Pail

A FARMER’S daughter was carrying her Pail of milk from the field to the
farmhouse, when she fell a-musing. “The money for which this milk will
be sold, will buy at least three hundred eggs. The eggs, allowing for
all mishaps, will produce two hundred and fifty chickens. The chickens
will become ready for the market when poultry will fetch the highest
price, so that by the end of the year I shall have money enough from my
share to buy a new gown. In this dress I will go to the Christmas
parties, where all the young fellows will propose to me, but I will
toss my head and refuse them every one.” At this moment she tossed her
head in unison with her thoughts, when down fell the milk pail to the
ground, and all her imaginary schemes perished in a moment.

The Bee and Jupiter

A BEE from Mount Hymettus, the queen of the hive, ascended to Olympus
to present Jupiter some honey fresh from her combs. Jupiter, delighted
with the offering of honey, promised to give whatever she should ask.
She therefore besought him, saying, “Give me, I pray thee, a sting,
that if any mortal shall approach to take my honey, I may kill him.”
Jupiter was much displeased, for he loved the race of man, but could
not refuse the request because of his promise. He thus answered the
Bee: “You shall have your request, but it will be at the peril of your
own life. For if you use your sting, it shall remain in the wound you
make, and then you will die from the loss of it.”

Evil wishes, like chickens, come home to roost.

The Wolf and the Housedog

A WOLF, meeting a big well-fed Mastiff with a wooden collar about his
neck asked him who it was that fed him so well and yet compelled him to
drag that heavy log about wherever he went. “The master,” he replied.
Then said the Wolf: “May no friend of mine ever be in such a plight;
for the weight of this chain is enough to spoil the appetite.”

The Three Tradesmen

A GREAT CITY was besieged, and its inhabitants were called together to
consider the best means of protecting it from the enemy. A Bricklayer
earnestly recommended bricks as affording the best material for an
effective resistance. A Carpenter, with equal enthusiasm, proposed
timber as a preferable method of defense. Upon which a Currier stood up
and said, “Sirs, I differ from you altogether: there is no material for
resistance equal to a covering of hides; and nothing so good as
leather.”

Every man for himself.

The Ass Carrying the Image

AN ASS once carried through the streets of a city a famous wooden
Image, to be placed in one of its Temples. As he passed along, the
crowd made lowly prostration before the Image. The Ass, thinking that
they bowed their heads in token of respect for himself, bristled up
with pride, gave himself airs, and refused to move another step. The
driver, seeing him thus stop, laid his whip lustily about his shoulders
and said, “O you perverse dull-head! it is not yet come to this, that
men pay worship to an Ass.”

They are not wise who give to themselves the credit due to others.

The Master and His Dogs

A CERTAIN MAN, detained by a storm in his country house, first of all
killed his sheep, and then his goats, for the maintenance of his
household. The storm still continuing, he was obliged to slaughter his
yoke oxen for food. On seeing this, his Dogs took counsel together, and
said, “It is time for us to be off, for if the master spare not his
oxen, who work for his gain, how can we expect him to spare us?”

He is not to be trusted as a friend who mistreats his own family.

The Old Hound

A HOUND, who in the days of his youth and strength had never yielded to
any beast of the forest, encountered in his old age a boar in the
chase. He seized him boldly by the ear, but could not retain his hold
because of the decay of his teeth, so that the boar escaped. His
master, quickly coming up, was very much disappointed, and fiercely
abused the dog. The Hound looked up and said, “It was not my fault
master: my spirit was as good as ever, but I could not help my
infirmities. I rather deserve to be praised for what I have been, than
to be blamed for what I am.”

The Two Travelers and the Axe

TWO MEN were journeying together. One of them picked up an axe that lay
upon the path, and said, “I have found an axe.” “Nay, my friend,”
replied the other, “do not say ‘I,’ but ‘We’ have found an axe.” They
had not gone far before they saw the owner of the axe pursuing them,
and he who had picked up the axe said, “We are undone.” “Nay,” replied
the other, “keep to your first mode of speech, my friend; what you
thought right then, think right now. Say ‘I,’ not ‘We’ are undone.”

He who shares the danger ought to share the prize.

The Old Lion

A LION, worn out with years and powerless from disease, lay on the
ground at the point of death. A Boar rushed upon him, and avenged with
a stroke of his tusks a long-remembered injury. Shortly afterwards the
Bull with his horns gored him as if he were an enemy. When the Ass saw
that the huge beast could be assailed with impunity, he let drive at
his forehead with his heels. The expiring Lion said, “I have
reluctantly brooked the insults of the brave, but to be compelled to
endure such treatment from thee, a disgrace to Nature, is indeed to die
a double death.”

The Wolf and the Shepherds

A WOLF, passing by, saw some Shepherds in a hut eating a haunch of
mutton for their dinner. Approaching them, he said, “What a clamor you
would raise if I were to do as you are doing!”

The Seaside Travelers

SOME TRAVELERS, journeying along the seashore, climbed to the summit of
a tall cliff, and looking over the sea, saw in the distance what they
thought was a large ship. They waited in the hope of seeing it enter
the harbor, but as the object on which they looked was driven nearer to
shore by the wind, they found that it could at the most be a small
boat, and not a ship. When however it reached the beach, they
discovered that it was only a large faggot of sticks, and one of them
said to his companions, “We have waited for no purpose, for after all
there is nothing to see but a load of wood.”

Our mere anticipations of life outrun its realities.

The Ass and His Shadow

A TRAVELER hired an Ass to convey him to a distant place. The day being
intensely hot, and the sun shining in its strength, the Traveler
stopped to rest, and sought shelter from the heat under the Shadow of
the Ass. As this afforded only protection for one, and as the Traveler
and the owner of the Ass both claimed it, a violent dispute arose
between them as to which of them had the right to the Shadow. The owner
maintained that he had let the Ass only, and not his Shadow. The
Traveler asserted that he had, with the hire of the Ass, hired his
Shadow also. The quarrel proceeded from words to blows, and while the
men fought, the Ass galloped off.

In quarreling about the shadow we often lose the substance.

The Ass and His Masters

AN ASS, belonging to an herb-seller who gave him too little food and
too much work made a petition to Jupiter to be released from his
present service and provided with another master. Jupiter, after
warning him that he would repent his request, caused him to be sold to
a tile-maker. Shortly afterwards, finding that he had heavier loads to
carry and harder work in the brick-field, he petitioned for another
change of master. Jupiter, telling him that it would be the last time
that he could grant his request, ordained that he be sold to a tanner.
The Ass found that he had fallen into worse hands, and noting his
master’s occupation, said, groaning: “It would have been better for me
to have been either starved by the one, or to have been overworked by
the other of my former masters, than to have been bought by my present
owner, who will even after I am dead tan my hide, and make me useful to
him.”

Mercury and the Sculptor

MERCURY once determined to learn in what esteem he was held among
mortals. For this purpose he assumed the character of a man and visited
in this disguise a Sculptor’s studio having looked at various statues,
he demanded the price of two figures of Jupiter and Juno. When the sum
at which they were valued was named, he pointed to a figure of himself,
saying to the Sculptor, “You will certainly want much more for this, as
it is the statue of the Messenger of the Gods, and author of all your
gain.” The Sculptor replied, “Well, if you will buy these, I’ll fling
you that into the bargain.”

The Fox and the Woodcutter

A FOX, running before the hounds, came across a Woodcutter felling an
oak and begged him to show him a safe hiding-place. The Woodcutter
advised him to take shelter in his own hut, so the Fox crept in and hid
himself in a corner. The huntsman soon came up with his hounds and
inquired of the Woodcutter if he had seen the Fox. He declared that he
had not seen him, and yet pointed, all the time he was speaking, to the
hut where the Fox lay hidden. The huntsman took no notice of the signs,
but believing his word, hastened forward in the chase. As soon as they
were well away, the Fox departed without taking any notice of the
Woodcutter: whereon he called to him and reproached him, saying, “You
ungrateful fellow, you owe your life to me, and yet you leave me
without a word of thanks.” The Fox replied, “Indeed, I should have
thanked you fervently if your deeds had been as good as your words, and
if your hands had not been traitors to your speech.”

The Oak and the Reeds

A VERY LARGE OAK was uprooted by the wind and thrown across a stream.
It fell among some Reeds, which it thus addressed: “I wonder how you,
who are so light and weak, are not entirely crushed by these strong
winds.” They replied, “You fight and contend with the wind, and
consequently you are destroyed; while we on the contrary bend before
the least breath of air, and therefore remain unbroken, and escape.”

Stoop to conquer.

The Lion in a Farmyard

A LION entered a farmyard. The Farmer, wishing to catch him, shut the
gate. When the Lion found that he could not escape, he flew upon the
sheep and killed them, and then attacked the oxen. The Farmer,
beginning to be alarmed for his own safety, opened the gate and
released the Lion. On his departure the Farmer grievously lamented the
destruction of his sheep and oxen, but his wife, who had been a
spectator to all that took place, said, “On my word, you are rightly
served, for how could you for a moment think of shutting up a Lion
along with you in your farmyard when you know that you shake in your
shoes if you only hear his roar at a distance?”

The Wolf and the Lion

A WOLF, having stolen a lamb from a fold, was carrying him off to his
lair. A Lion met him in the path, and seizing the lamb, took it from
him. Standing at a safe distance, the Wolf exclaimed, “You have
unrighteously taken that which was mine from me!” To which the Lion
jeeringly replied, “It was righteously yours, eh? The gift of a
friend?”

The Birdcatcher, the Partridge, and the Cock

A BIRDCATCHER was about to sit down to a dinner of herbs when a friend
unexpectedly came in. The bird-trap was quite empty, as he had caught
nothing, and he had to kill a pied Partridge, which he had tamed for a
decoy. The bird entreated earnestly for his life: “What would you do
without me when next you spread your nets? Who would chirp you to
sleep, or call for you the covey of answering birds?” The Birdcatcher
spared his life, and determined to pick out a fine young Cock just
attaining to his comb. But the Cock expostulated in piteous tones from
his perch: “If you kill me, who will announce to you the appearance of
the dawn? Who will wake you to your daily tasks or tell you when it is
time to visit the bird-trap in the morning?” He replied, “What you say
is true. You are a capital bird at telling the time of day. But my
friend and I must have our dinners.”

Necessity knows no law.

The Ant and the Dove

AN ANT went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being
carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning. A
Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it
fall into the stream close to her. The Ant climbed onto it and floated
in safety to the bank. Shortly afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood
under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the
branches. The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In
pain the birdcatcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove
take wing.

The Hares and the Frogs

THE HARES, oppressed by their own exceeding timidity and weary of the
perpetual alarm to which they were exposed, with one accord determined
to put an end to themselves and their troubles by jumping from a lofty
precipice into a deep lake below. As they scampered off in large
numbers to carry out their resolve, the Frogs lying on the banks of the
lake heard the noise of their feet and rushed helter-skelter to the
deep water for safety. On seeing the rapid disappearance of the Frogs,
one of the Hares cried out to his companions: “Stay, my friends, do not
do as you intended; for you now see that there are creatures who are
still more timid than ourselves.”

The Monkey and the Fishermen

A MONKEY perched upon a lofty tree saw some Fishermen casting their
nets into a river, and narrowly watched their proceedings. The
Fishermen after a while gave up fishing, and on going home to dinner
left their nets upon the bank. The Monkey, who is the most imitative of
animals, descended from the treetop and endeavored to do as they had
done. Having handled the net, he threw it into the river, but became
tangled in the meshes and drowned. With his last breath he said to
himself, “I am rightly served; for what business had I who had never
handled a net to try and catch fish?”

The Swan and the Goose

A CERTAIN rich man bought in the market a Goose and a Swan. He fed the
one for his table and kept the other for the sake of its song. When the
time came for killing the Goose, the cook went to get him at night,
when it was dark, and he was not able to distinguish one bird from the
other. By mistake he caught the Swan instead of the Goose. The Swan,
threatened with death, burst forth into song and thus made himself
known by his voice, and preserved his life by his melody.

The Doe and the Lion

A DOE hard pressed by hunters sought refuge in a cave belonging to a
Lion. The Lion concealed himself on seeing her approach, but when she
was safe within the cave, sprang upon her and tore her to pieces. “Woe
is me,” exclaimed the Doe, “who have escaped from man, only to throw
myself into the mouth of a wild beast?”

In avoiding one evil, care must be taken not to fall into another.

The Fisherman and the Little Fish

A FISHERMAN who lived on the produce of his nets, one day caught a
single small Fish as the result of his day’s labor. The Fish, panting
convulsively, thus entreated for his life: “O Sir, what good can I be
to you, and how little am I worth? I am not yet come to my full size.
Pray spare my life, and put me back into the sea. I shall soon become a
large fish fit for the tables of the rich, and then you can catch me
again, and make a handsome profit of me.” The Fisherman replied, “I
should indeed be a very simple fellow if, for the chance of a greater
uncertain profit, I were to forego my present certain gain.”

The Hunter and the Woodman

A HUNTER, not very bold, was searching for the tracks of a Lion. He
asked a man felling oaks in the forest if he had seen any marks of his
footsteps or knew where his lair was. “I will,” said the man, “at once
show you the Lion himself.” The Hunter, turning very pale and
chattering with his teeth from fear, replied, “No, thank you. I did not
ask that; it is his track only I am in search of, not the Lion
himself.”

The hero is brave in deeds as well as words.

The Swollen Fox

A VERY HUNGRY FOX, seeing some bread and meat left by shepherds in the
hollow of an oak, crept into the hole and made a hearty meal. When he
finished, he was so full that he was not able to get out, and began to
groan and lament his fate. Another Fox passing by heard his cries, and
coming up, inquired the cause of his complaining. On learning what had
happened, he said to him, “Ah, you will have to remain there, my
friend, until you become such as you were when you crept in, and then
you will easily get out.”

The Two Frogs

TWO FROGS dwelt in the same pool. When the pool dried up under the
summer’s heat, they left it and set out together for another home. As
they went along they chanced to pass a deep well, amply supplied with
water, and when they saw it, one of the Frogs said to the other, “Let
us descend and make our abode in this well: it will furnish us with
shelter and food.” The other replied with greater caution, “But suppose
the water should fail us. How can we get out again from so great a
depth?”

Do nothing without a regard to the consequences.

The Lamp

A LAMP, soaked with too much oil and flaring brightly, boasted that it
gave more light than the sun. Then a sudden puff of wind arose, and the
Lamp was immediately extinguished. Its owner lit it again, and said:
“Boast no more, but henceforth be content to give thy light in silence.
Know that not even the stars need to be relit.”

The Camel and the Arab

AN ARAB Camel-driver, after completing the loading of his Camel, asked
him which he would like best, to go up hill or down. The poor beast
replied, not without a touch of reason: “Why do you ask me? Is it that
the level way through the desert is closed?”

The Miller, His Son, and Their Ass

A MILLER and his son were driving their Ass to a neighboring fair to
sell him. They had not gone far when they met with a troop of women
collected round a well, talking and laughing. “Look there,” cried one
of them, “did you ever see such fellows, to be trudging along the road
on foot when they might ride?” The old man hearing this, quickly made
his son mount the Ass, and continued to walk along merrily by his side.
Presently they came up to a group of old men in earnest debate.
“There,” said one of them, “it proves what I was a-saying. What respect
is shown to old age in these days? Do you see that idle lad riding
while his old father has to walk? Get down, you young scapegrace, and
let the old man rest his weary limbs.” Upon this the old man made his
son dismount, and got up himself. In this manner they had not proceeded
far when they met a company of women and children: “Why, you lazy old
fellow,” cried several tongues at once, “how can you ride upon the
beast, while that poor little lad there can hardly keep pace by the
side of you?” The good-natured Miller immediately took up his son
behind him. They had now almost reached the town. “Pray, honest
friend,” said a citizen, “is that Ass your own?” “Yes,” replied the old
man. “O, one would not have thought so,” said the other, “by the way
you load him. Why, you two fellows are better able to carry the poor
beast than he you.” “Anything to please you,” said the old man; “we can
but try.” So, alighting with his son, they tied the legs of the Ass
together and with the help of a pole endeavored to carry him on their
shoulders over a bridge near the entrance to the town. This
entertaining sight brought the people in crowds to laugh at it, till
the Ass, not liking the noise nor the strange handling that he was
subject to, broke the cords that bound him and, tumbling off the pole,
fell into the river. Upon this, the old man, vexed and ashamed, made
the best of his way home again, convinced that by endeavoring to please
everybody he had pleased nobody, and lost his Ass in the bargain.

The Cat and the Mice

A CERTAIN HOUSE was overrun with Mice. A Cat, discovering this, made
her way into it and began to catch and eat them one by one. Fearing for
their lives, the Mice kept themselves close in their holes. The Cat was
no longer able to get at them and perceived that she must tempt them
forth by some device. For this purpose she jumped upon a peg, and
suspending herself from it, pretended to be dead. One of the Mice,
peeping stealthily out, saw her and said, “Ah, my good madam, even
though you should turn into a meal-bag, we will not come near you.”

The Mouse and the Bull

A BULL was bitten by a Mouse and, angered by the wound, tried to
capture him. But the Mouse reached his hole in safety. Though the Bull
dug into the walls with his horns, he tired before he could rout out
the Mouse, and crouching down, went to sleep outside the hole. The
Mouse peeped out, crept furtively up his flank, and again biting him,
retreated to his hole. The Bull rising up, and not knowing what to do,
was sadly perplexed. At which the Mouse said, “The great do not always
prevail. There are times when the small and lowly are the strongest to
do mischief.”

The Dog and the Cook

A RICH MAN gave a great feast, to which he invited many friends and
acquaintances. His Dog availed himself of the occasion to invite a
stranger Dog, a friend of his, saying, “My master gives a feast, and
there is always much food remaining; come and sup with me tonight.” The
Dog thus invited went at the hour appointed, and seeing the
preparations for so grand an entertainment, said in the joy of his
heart, “How glad I am that I came! I do not often get such a chance as
this. I will take care and eat enough to last me both today and
tomorrow.” While he was congratulating himself and wagging his tail to
convey his pleasure to his friend, the Cook saw him moving about among
his dishes and, seizing him by his fore and hind paws, bundled him
without ceremony out of the window. He fell with force upon the ground
and limped away, howling dreadfully. His yelling soon attracted other
street dogs, who came up to him and inquired how he had enjoyed his
supper. He replied, “Why, to tell you the truth, I drank so much wine
that I remember nothing. I do not know how I got out of the house.”

The Thieves and the Cock

SOME THIEVES broke into a house and found nothing but a Cock, whom they
stole, and got off as fast as they could. Upon arriving at home they
prepared to kill the Cock, who thus pleaded for his life: “Pray spare
me; I am very serviceable to men. I wake them up in the night to their
work.” “That is the very reason why we must the more kill you,” they
replied; “for when you wake your neighbors, you entirely put an end to
our business.”

The safeguards of virtue are hateful to those with evil intentions.

The Dancing Monkeys

A PRINCE had some Monkeys trained to dance. Being naturally great
mimics of men’s actions, they showed themselves most apt pupils, and
when arrayed in their rich clothes and masks, they danced as well as
any of the courtiers. The spectacle was often repeated with great
applause, till on one occasion a courtier, bent on mischief, took from
his pocket a handful of nuts and threw them upon the stage. The Monkeys
at the sight of the nuts forgot their dancing and became (as indeed
they were) Monkeys instead of actors. Pulling off their masks and
tearing their robes, they fought with one another for the nuts. The
dancing spectacle thus came to an end amidst the laughter and ridicule
of the audience.

The Farmer and the Fox

A FARMER, who bore a grudge against a Fox for robbing his poultry yard,
caught him at last, and being determined to take an ample revenge, tied
some rope well soaked in oil to his tail, and set it on fire. The Fox
by a strange fatality rushed to the fields of the Farmer who had
captured him. It was the time of the wheat harvest; but the Farmer
reaped nothing that year and returned home grieving sorely.

The Traveler and Fortune

A TRAVELER wearied from a long journey lay down, overcome with fatigue,
on the very brink of a deep well. Just as he was about to fall into the
water, Dame Fortune, it is said, appeared to him and waking him from
his slumber thus addressed him: “Good Sir, pray wake up: for if you
fall into the well, the blame will be thrown on me, and I shall get an
ill name among mortals; for I find that men are sure to impute their
calamities to me, however much by their own folly they have really
brought them on themselves.”

Everyone is more or less master of his own fate.

The Seagull and the Kite

A SEAGULL having bolted down too large a fish, burst its deep
gullet-bag and lay down on the shore to die. A Kite saw him and
exclaimed: “You richly deserve your fate; for a bird of the air has no
business to seek its food from the sea.”

Every man should be content to mind his own business.

The Lion, the Bear, and the Fox

A LION and a Bear seized a Kid at the same moment, and fought fiercely
for its possession. When they had fearfully lacerated each other and
were faint from the long combat, they lay down exhausted with fatigue.
A Fox, who had gone round them at a distance several times, saw them
both stretched on the ground with the Kid lying untouched in the
middle. He ran in between them, and seizing the Kid scampered off as
fast as he could. The Lion and the Bear saw him, but not being able to
get up, said, “Woe be to us, that we should have fought and belabored
ourselves only to serve the turn of a Fox.”

It sometimes happens that one man has all the toil, and another all the
profit.

The Philosopher, the Ants, and Mercury

A PHILOSOPHER witnessed from the shore the shipwreck of a vessel, of
which the crew and passengers were all drowned. He inveighed against
the injustice of Providence, which would for the sake of one criminal
perchance sailing in the ship allow so many innocent persons to perish.
As he was indulging in these reflections, he found himself surrounded
by a whole army of Ants, near whose nest he was standing. One of them
climbed up and stung him, and he immediately trampled them all to death
with his foot. Mercury presented himself, and striking the Philosopher
with his wand, said, “And are you indeed to make yourself a judge of
the dealings of Providence, who hast thyself in a similar manner
treated these poor Ants?”

The Peasant and the Eagle

A PEASANT found an Eagle captured in a trap, and much admiring the
bird, set him free. The Eagle did not prove ungrateful to his
deliverer, for seeing the Peasant sitting under a wall which was not
safe, he flew toward him and with his talons snatched a bundle from his
head. When the Peasant rose in pursuit, the Eagle let the bundle fall
again. Taking it up, the man returned to the same place, to find that
the wall under which he had been sitting had fallen to pieces; and he
marveled at the service rendered him by the Eagle.

The Fox and the Leopard

THE FOX and the Leopard disputed which was the more beautiful of the
two. The Leopard exhibited one by one the various spots which decorated
his skin. But the Fox, interrupting him, said, “And how much more
beautiful than you am I, who am decorated, not in body, but in mind.”

The Lion and the Hare

A LION came across a Hare, who was fast asleep. He was just in the act
of seizing her, when a fine young Hart trotted by, and he left the Hare
to follow him. The Hare, scared by the noise, awoke and scudded away.
The Lion was unable after a long chase to catch the Hart, and returned
to feed upon the Hare. On finding that the Hare also had run off, he
said, “I am rightly served, for having let go of the food that I had in
my hand for the chance of obtaining more.”

The Image of Mercury and the Carpenter

A VERY POOR MAN, a Carpenter by trade, had a wooden image of Mercury,
before which he made offerings day by day, and begged the idol to make
him rich, but in spite of his entreaties he became poorer and poorer.
At last, being very angry, he took his image down from its pedestal and
dashed it against the wall. When its head was knocked off, out came a
stream of gold, which the Carpenter quickly picked up and said, “Well,
I think thou art altogether contradictory and unreasonable; for when I
paid you honour, I reaped no benefits: but now that I maltreat you I am
loaded with an abundance of riches.”

The Lion, the Fox, and the Ass

THE LION, the Fox and the Ass entered into an agreement to assist each
other in the chase. Having secured a large booty, the Lion on their
return from the forest asked the Ass to allot his due portion to each
of the three partners in the treaty. The Ass carefully divided the
spoil into three equal shares and modestly requested the two others to
make the first choice. The Lion, bursting out into a great rage,
devoured the Ass. Then he requested the Fox to do him the favour to
make a division. The Fox accumulated all that they had killed into one
large heap and left to himself the smallest possible morsel. The Lion
said, “Who has taught you, my very excellent fellow, the art of
division? You are perfect to a fraction.” He replied, “I learned it
from the Ass, by witnessing his fate.”

Happy is the man who learns from the misfortunes of others.

The Bull and the Goat

A BULL, escaping from a Lion, hid in a cave which some shepherds had
recently occupied. As soon as he entered, a He-Goat left in the cave
sharply attacked him with his horns. The Bull quietly addressed him:
“Butt away as much as you will. I have no fear of you, but of the Lion.
Let that monster go away and I will soon let you know what is the
respective strength of a Goat and a Bull.”

It shows an evil disposition to take advantage of a friend in distress.

The Bald Knight

A BALD KNIGHT, who wore a wig, went out to hunt. A sudden puff of wind
blew off his hat and wig, at which a loud laugh rang forth from his
companions. He pulled up his horse, and with great glee joined in the
joke by saying, “What a marvel it is that hairs which are not mine
should fly from me, when they have forsaken even the man on whose head
they grew.”

The Oaks and Jupiter

THE OAKS presented a complaint to Jupiter, saying, “We bear for no
purpose the burden of life, as of all the trees that grow we are the
most continually in peril of the axe.” Jupiter made answer: “You have
only to thank yourselves for the misfortunes to which you are exposed:
for if you did not make such excellent pillars and posts, and prove
yourselves so serviceable to the carpenters and the farmers, the axe
would not so frequently be laid to your roots.”

The Monkeys and Their Mother

THE MONKEY, it is said, has two young ones at each birth. The Mother
fondles one and nurtures it with the greatest affection and care, but
hates and neglects the other. It happened once that the young one which
was caressed and loved was smothered by the too great affection of the
Mother, while the despised one was nurtured and reared in spite of the
neglect to which it was exposed.

The best intentions will not always ensure success.

The Hare and the Hound

A HOUND started a Hare from his lair, but after a long run, gave up the
chase. A goat-herd seeing him stop, mocked him, saying “The little one
is the best runner of the two.” The Hound replied, “You do not see the
difference between us: I was only running for a dinner, but he for his
life.”

The Shepherd and the Dog

A SHEPHERD penning his sheep in the fold for the night was about to
shut up a wolf with them, when his Dog perceiving the wolf said,
“Master, how can you expect the sheep to be safe if you admit a wolf
into the fold?”

The Oak and the Woodcutters

THE WOODCUTTER cut down a Mountain Oak and split it in pieces, making
wedges of its own branches for dividing the trunk. The Oak said with a
sigh, “I do not care about the blows of the axe aimed at my roots, but
I do grieve at being torn in pieces by these wedges made from my own
branches.”

Misfortunes springing from ourselves are the hardest to bear.

The Wasp and the Snake

A WASP seated himself upon the head of a Snake and, striking him
unceasingly with his stings, wounded him to death. The Snake, being in
great torment and not knowing how to rid himself of his enemy, saw a
wagon heavily laden with wood, and went and purposely placed his head
under the wheels, saying, “At least my enemy and I shall perish
together.”

The Peacock and the Crane

A PEACOCK spreading its gorgeous tail mocked a Crane that passed by,
ridiculing the ashen hue of its plumage and saying, “I am robed, like a
king, in gold and purple and all the colors of the rainbow; while you
have not a bit of color on your wings.” “True,” replied the Crane; “but
I soar to the heights of heaven and lift up my voice to the stars,
while you walk below, like a cock, among the birds of the dunghill.”

Fine feathers don’t make fine birds.

The Hen and the Golden Eggs

A COTTAGER and his wife had a Hen that laid a golden egg every day.
They supposed that the Hen must contain a great lump of gold in its
inside, and in order to get the gold they killed it. Having done so,
they found to their surprise that the Hen differed in no respect from
their other hens. The foolish pair, thus hoping to become rich all at
once, deprived themselves of the gain of which they were assured day by
day.

The Ass and the Frogs

AN ASS, carrying a load of wood, passed through a pond. As he was
crossing through the water he lost his footing, stumbled and fell, and
not being able to rise on account of his load, groaned heavily. Some
Frogs frequenting the pool heard his lamentation, and said, “What would
you do if you had to live here always as we do, when you make such a
fuss about a mere fall into the water?”

Men often bear little grievances with less courage than they do large
misfortunes.

The Crow and the Raven

A CROW was jealous of the Raven, because he was considered a bird of
good omen and always attracted the attention of men, who noted by his
flight the good or evil course of future events. Seeing some travelers
approaching, the Crow flew up into a tree, and perching herself on one
of the branches, cawed as loudly as she could. The travelers turned
towards the sound and wondered what it foreboded, when one of them said
to his companion, “Let us proceed on our journey, my friend, for it is
only the caw of a crow, and her cry, you know, is no omen.”

Those who assume a character which does not belong to them, only make
themselves ridiculous.

The Trees and the Axe

A MAN came into a forest and asked the Trees to provide him a handle
for his axe. The Trees consented to his request and gave him a young
ash-tree. No sooner had the man fitted a new handle to his axe from it,
than he began to use it and quickly felled with his strokes the noblest
giants of the forest. An old oak, lamenting when too late the
destruction of his companions, said to a neighboring cedar, “The first
step has lost us all. If we had not given up the rights of the ash, we
might yet have retained our own privileges and have stood for ages.”

The Wolves and the Sheepdogs

THE WOLVES thus addressed the Sheepdogs: “Why should you, who are like
us in so many things, not be entirely of one mind with us, and live
with us as brothers should? We differ from you in one point only. We
live in freedom, but you bow down to and slave for men, who in return
for your services flog you with whips and put collars on your necks.
They make you also guard their sheep, and while they eat the mutton
throw only the bones to you. If you will be persuaded by us, you will
give us the sheep, and we will enjoy them in common, till we all are
surfeited.” The Dogs listened favourably to these proposals, and,
entering the den of the Wolves, they were set upon and torn to pieces.

The Bull, the Lioness, and the Wild-Boar Hunter

A BULL finding a lion’s cub asleep gored him to death with his horns.
The Lioness came up, and bitterly lamented the death of her whelp. A
wild-boar Hunter, seeing her distress, stood at a distance and said to
her, “Think how many men there are who have reason to lament the loss
of their children, whose deaths have been caused by you.”

The Bowman and Lion

A VERY SKILLFUL BOWMAN went to the mountains in search of game, but all
the beasts of the forest fled at his approach. The Lion alone
challenged him to combat. The Bowman immediately shot out an arrow and
said to the Lion: “I send thee my messenger, that from him thou mayest
learn what I myself shall be when I assail thee.” The wounded Lion
rushed away in great fear, and when a Fox who had seen it all happen
told him to be of good courage and not to back off at the first attack
he replied: “You counsel me in vain; for if he sends so fearful a
messenger, how shall I abide the attack of the man himself?”

Be on guard against men who can strike from a distance.

The Camel

WHEN MAN first saw the Camel, he was so frightened at his vast size
that he ran away. After a time, perceiving the meekness and gentleness
of the beast’s temper, he summoned courage enough to approach him. Soon
afterwards, observing that he was an animal altogether deficient in
spirit, he assumed such boldness as to put a bridle in his mouth, and
to let a child drive him.

Use serves to overcome dread.

The Crab and the Fox

A CRAB, forsaking the seashore, chose a neighboring green meadow as its
feeding ground. A Fox came across him, and being very hungry ate him
up. Just as he was on the point of being eaten, the Crab said, “I well
deserve my fate, for what business had I on the land, when by my nature
and habits I am only adapted for the sea?”

Contentment with our lot is an element of happiness.

The Ass and the Old Shepherd

A SHEPHERD, watching his Ass feeding in a meadow, was alarmed all of a
sudden by the cries of the enemy. He appealed to the Ass to fly with
him, lest they should both be captured, but the animal lazily replied,
“Why should I, pray? Do you think it likely the conqueror will place on
me two sets of panniers?” “No,” rejoined the Shepherd. “Then,” said the
Ass, “as long as I carry the panniers, what matters it to me whom I
serve?”

In a change of government the poor change nothing beyond the name of
their master.

The Fox and the Hedgehog

A FOX swimming across a rapid river was carried by the force of the
current into a very deep ravine, where he lay for a long time very much
bruised, sick, and unable to move. A swarm of hungry blood-sucking
flies settled upon him. A Hedgehog, passing by, saw his anguish and
inquired if he should drive away the flies that were tormenting him.
“By no means,” replied the Fox; “pray do not molest them.” “How is
this?” said the Hedgehog; “do you not want to be rid of them?” “No,”
returned the Fox, “for these flies which you see are full of blood, and
sting me but little, and if you rid me of these which are already
satiated, others more hungry will come in their place, and will drink
up all the blood I have left.”

The Woman and Her Hen

A WOMAN possessed a Hen that gave her an egg every day. She often
pondered how she might obtain two eggs daily instead of one, and at
last, to gain her purpose, determined to give the Hen a double
allowance of barley. From that day the Hen became fat and sleek, and
never once laid another egg.

The Kites and the Swans

TEE KITES of olden times, as well as the Swans, had the privilege of
song. But having heard the neigh of the horse, they were so enchanted
with the sound, that they tried to imitate it; and, in trying to neigh,
they forgot how to sing.

The desire for imaginary benefits often involves the loss of present
blessings.

The Dog and the Hare

A HOUND having started a Hare on the hillside pursued her for some
distance, at one time biting her with his teeth as if he would take her
life, and at another fawning upon her, as if in play with another dog.
The Hare said to him, “I wish you would act sincerely by me, and show
yourself in your true colors. If you are a friend, why do you bite me
so hard? If an enemy, why do you fawn on me?”

No one can be a friend if you know not whether to trust or distrust
him.

The Hares and the Foxes

THE HARES waged war with the Eagles, and called upon the Foxes to help
them. They replied, “We would willingly have helped you, if we had not
known who you were, and with whom you were fighting.”

Count the cost before you commit yourselves.

The Bull and the Calf

A BULL was striving with all his might to squeeze himself through a
narrow passage which led to his stall. A young Calf came up, and
offered to go before and show him the way by which he could manage to
pass. “Save yourself the trouble,” said the Bull; “I knew that way long
before you were born.”

The Stag, the Wolf, and the Sheep

A STAG asked a Sheep to lend him a measure of wheat, and said that the
Wolf would be his surety. The Sheep, fearing some fraud was intended,
excused herself, saying, “The Wolf is accustomed to seize what he wants
and to run off; and you, too, can quickly outstrip me in your rapid
flight. How then shall I be able to find you, when the day of payment
comes?”

Two blacks do not make one white.

The Eagle, the Cat, and the Wild Sow

AN EAGLE made her nest at the top of a lofty oak; a Cat, having found a
convenient hole, moved into the middle of the trunk; and a Wild Sow,
with her young, took shelter in a hollow at its foot. The Cat cunningly
resolved to destroy this chance-made colony. To carry out her design,
she climbed to the nest of the Eagle, and said, “Destruction is
preparing for you, and for me too, unfortunately. The Wild Sow, whom
you see daily digging up the earth, wishes to uproot the oak, so she
may on its fall seize our families as food for her young.” Having thus
frightened the Eagle out of her senses, she crept down to the cave of
the Sow, and said, “Your children are in great danger; for as soon as
you go out with your litter to find food, the Eagle is prepared to
pounce upon one of your little pigs.” Having instilled these fears into
the Sow, she went and pretended to hide herself in the hollow of the
tree. When night came she went forth with silent foot and obtained food
for herself and her kittens, but feigning to be afraid, she kept a
lookout all through the day. Meanwhile, the Eagle, full of fear of the
Sow, sat still on the branches, and the Sow, terrified by the Eagle,
did not dare to go out from her cave. And thus they both, along with
their families, perished from hunger, and afforded ample provision for
the Cat and her kittens.

The Wolf and the Fox

AT ONE TIME a very large and strong Wolf was born among the wolves, who
exceeded all his fellow-wolves in strength, size, and swiftness, so
that they unanimously decided to call him “Lion.” The Wolf, with a lack
of sense proportioned to his enormous size, thought that they gave him
this name in earnest, and, leaving his own race, consorted exclusively
with the lions. An old sly Fox, seeing this, said, “May I never make
myself so ridiculous as you do in your pride and self-conceit; for even
though you have the size of a lion among wolves, in a herd of lions you
are definitely a wolf.”

The Mule

A MULE, frolicsome from lack of work and from too much corn, galloped
about in a very extravagant manner, and said to himself: “My father
surely was a high-mettled racer, and I am his own child in speed and
spirit.” On the next day, being driven a long journey, and feeling very
wearied, he exclaimed in a disconsolate tone: “I must have made a
mistake; my father, after all, could have been only an ass.”

The Prophet

A WIZARD, sitting in the marketplace, was telling the fortunes of the
passers-by when a person ran up in great haste, and announced to him
that the doors of his house had been broken open and that all his goods
were being stolen. He sighed heavily and hastened away as fast as he
could run. A neighbor saw him running and said, “Oh! you fellow there!
you say you can foretell the fortunes of others; how is it you did not
foresee your own?”

The Two Frogs

TWO FROGS were neighbors. One inhabited a deep pond, far removed from
public view; the other lived in a gully containing little water, and
traversed by a country road. The Frog that lived in the pond warned his
friend to change his residence and entreated him to come and live with
him, saying that he would enjoy greater safety from danger and more
abundant food. The other refused, saying that he felt it so very hard
to leave a place to which he had become accustomed. A few days
afterwards a heavy wagon passed through the gully and crushed him to
death under its wheels.

A willful man will have his way to his own hurt.

The Serpent and the Eagle

A SERPENT and an Eagle were struggling with each other in deadly
conflict. The Serpent had the advantage, and was about to strangle the
bird. A countryman saw them, and running up, loosed the coil of the
Serpent and let the Eagle go free. The Serpent, irritated at the escape
of his prey, injected his poison into the drinking horn of the
countryman. The rustic, ignorant of his danger, was about to drink,
when the Eagle struck his hand with his wing, and, seizing the drinking
horn in his talons, carried it aloft.

The Crow and the Pitcher

A CROW perishing with thirst saw a pitcher, and hoping to find water,
flew to it with delight. When he reached it, he discovered to his grief
that it contained so little water that he could not possibly get at it.
He tried everything he could think of to reach the water, but all his
efforts were in vain. At last he collected as many stones as he could
carry and dropped them one by one with his beak into the pitcher, until
he brought the water within his reach and thus saved his life.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

The Thief and the Innkeeper

A THIEF hired a room in a tavern and stayed a while in the hope of
stealing something which should enable him to pay his reckoning. When
he had waited some days in vain, he saw the Innkeeper dressed in a new
and handsome coat and sitting before his door. The Thief sat down
beside him and talked with him. As the conversation began to flag, the
Thief yawned terribly and at the same time howled like a wolf. The
Innkeeper said, “Why do you howl so fearfully?” “I will tell you,” said
the Thief, “but first let me ask you to hold my clothes, or I shall
tear them to pieces. I know not, sir, when I got this habit of yawning,
nor whether these attacks of howling were inflicted on me as a judgment
for my crimes, or for any other cause; but this I do know, that when I
yawn for the third time, I actually turn into a wolf and attack men.”
With this speech he commenced a second fit of yawning and again howled
like a wolf, as he had at first. The Innkeeper, hearing his tale and
believing what he said, became greatly alarmed and, rising from his
seat, attempted to run away. The Thief laid hold of his coat and
entreated him to stop, saying, “Pray wait, sir, and hold my clothes, or
I shall tear them to pieces in my fury, when I turn into a wolf.” At
the same moment he yawned the third time and set up a terrible howl.
The Innkeeper, frightened lest he should be attacked, left his new coat
in the Thief’s hand and ran as fast as he could into the inn for
safety. The Thief made off with the coat and did not return again to
the inn.

Every tale is not to be believed.

The Hart and the Vine

A HART, hard pressed in the chase, hid himself beneath the large leaves
of a Vine. The huntsmen, in their haste, overshot the place of his
concealment. Supposing all danger to have passed, the Hart began to
nibble the tendrils of the Vine. One of the huntsmen, attracted by the
rustling of the leaves, looked back, and seeing the Hart, shot an arrow
from his bow and struck it. The Hart, at the point of death, groaned:
“I am rightly served, for I should not have maltreated the Vine that
saved me.”

The Gnat and the Lion

A GNAT came and said to a Lion, “I do not in the least fear you, nor
are you stronger than I am. For in what does your strength consist? You
can scratch with your claws and bite with your teeth an a woman in her
quarrels. I repeat that I am altogether more powerful than you; and if
you doubt it, let us fight and see who will conquer.” The Gnat, having
sounded his horn, fastened himself upon the Lion and stung him on the
nostrils and the parts of the face devoid of hair. While trying to
crush him, the Lion tore himself with his claws, until he punished
himself severely. The Gnat thus prevailed over the Lion, and, buzzing
about in a song of triumph, flew away. But shortly afterwards he became
entangled in the meshes of a cobweb and was eaten by a spider. He
greatly lamented his fate, saying, “Woe is me! that I, who can wage war
successfully with the hugest beasts, should perish myself from this
spider, the most inconsiderable of insects!”

The Fox and the Grapes

A FAMISHED FOX saw some clusters of ripe black grapes hanging from a
trellised vine. She resorted to all her tricks to get at them, but
wearied herself in vain, for she could not reach them. At last she
turned away, hiding her disappointment and saying: “The Grapes are
sour, and not ripe as I thought.”

The Walnut-Tree

A WALNUT TREE standing by the roadside bore an abundant crop of fruit.
For the sake of the nuts, the passers-by broke its branches with stones
and sticks. The Walnut-Tree piteously exclaimed, “O wretched me! that
those whom I cheer with my fruit should repay me with these painful
requitals!”

The Kid and the Wolf

A KID, returning without protection from the pasture, was pursued by a
Wolf. Seeing he could not escape, he turned round, and said: “I know,
friend Wolf, that I must be your prey, but before I die I would ask of
you one favour you will play me a tune to which I may dance.” The Wolf
complied, and while he was piping and the Kid was dancing, some hounds
hearing the sound ran up and began chasing the Wolf. Turning to the
Kid, he said, “It is just what I deserve; for I, who am only a butcher,
should not have turned piper to please you.”

The Monkey and the Dolphin

A SAILOR, bound on a long voyage, took with him a Monkey to amuse him
while on shipboard. As he sailed off the coast of Greece, a violent
tempest arose in which the ship was wrecked and he, his Monkey, and all
the crew were obliged to swim for their lives. A Dolphin saw the Monkey
contending with the waves, and supposing him to be a man (whom he is
always said to befriend), came and placed himself under him, to convey
him on his back in safety to the shore. When the Dolphin arrived with
his burden in sight of land not far from Athens, he asked the Monkey if
he were an Athenian. The latter replied that he was, and that he was
descended from one of the most noble families in that city. The Dolphin
then inquired if he knew the Piræus (the famous harbor of Athens).
Supposing that a man was meant, the Monkey answered that he knew him
very well and that he was an intimate friend. The Dolphin, indignant at
these falsehoods, dipped the Monkey under the water and drowned him.

The Horse and the Stag

AT ONE TIME the Horse had the plain entirely to himself. Then a Stag
intruded into his domain and shared his pasture. The Horse, desiring to
revenge himself on the stranger, asked a man if he were willing to help
him in punishing the Stag. The man replied that if the Horse would
receive a bit in his mouth and agree to carry him, he would contrive
effective weapons against the Stag. The Horse consented and allowed the
man to mount him. From that hour he found that instead of obtaining
revenge on the Stag, he had enslaved himself to the service of man.

The Jackdaw and the Doves

A JACKDAW, seeing some Doves in a cote abundantly provided with food,
painted himself white and joined them in order to share their plentiful
maintenance. The Doves, as long as he was silent, supposed him to be
one of themselves and admitted him to their cote. But when one day he
forgot himself and began to chatter, they discovered his true character
and drove him forth, pecking him with their beaks. Failing to obtain
food among the Doves, he returned to the Jackdaws. They too, not
recognizing him on account of his color, expelled him from living with
them. So desiring two ends, he obtained neither.

The Fox and the Monkey

A FOX and a Monkey were traveling together on the same road. As they
journeyed, they passed through a cemetery full of monuments. “All these
monuments which you see,” said the Monkey, “are erected in honour of my
ancestors, who were in their day freedmen and citizens of great
renown.” The Fox replied, “You have chosen a most appropriate subject
for your falsehoods, as I am sure none of your ancestors will be able
to contradict you.”

A false tale often betrays itself.

The Man and His Wife

A MAN had a Wife who made herself hated by all the members of his
household. Wishing to find out if she had the same effect on the
persons in her father’s house, he made some excuse to send her home on
a visit to her father. After a short time she returned, and when he
inquired how she had got on and how the servants had treated her, she
replied, “The herdsmen and shepherds cast on me looks of aversion.” He
said, “O Wife, if you were disliked by those who go out early in the
morning with their flocks and return late in the evening, what must
have been felt towards you by those with whom you passed the whole
day!”

Straws show how the wind blows.

The Man, the Horse, the Ox, and the Dog

A HORSE, Ox, and Dog, driven to great straits by the cold, sought
shelter and protection from Man. He received them kindly, lighted a
fire, and warmed them. He let the Horse make free with his oats, gave
the Ox an abundance of hay, and fed the Dog with meat from his own
table. Grateful for these favours, the animals determined to repay him
to the best of their ability. For this purpose, they divided the term
of his life between them, and each endowed one portion of it with the
qualities which chiefly characterized himself. The Horse chose his
earliest years and gave them his own attributes: hence every man is in
his youth impetuous, headstrong, and obstinate in maintaining his own
opinion. The Ox took under his patronage the next term of life, and
therefore man in his middle age is fond of work, devoted to labor, and
resolute to amass wealth and to husband his resources. The end of life
was reserved for the Dog, wherefore the old man is often snappish,
irritable, hard to please, and selfish, tolerant only of his own
household, but averse to strangers and to all who do not administer to
his comfort or to his necessities.

The Thief and the Housedog

A THIEF came in the night to break into a house. He brought with him
several slices of meat in order to pacify the Housedog, so that he
would not alarm his master by barking. As the Thief threw him the
pieces of meat, the Dog said, “If you think to stop my mouth, you will
be greatly mistaken. This sudden kindness at your hands will only make
me more watchful, lest under these unexpected favours to myself, you
have some private ends to accomplish for your own benefit, and for my
master’s injury.”

The Apes and the Two Travelers

TWO MEN, one who always spoke the truth and the other who told nothing
but lies, were traveling together and by chance came to the land of
Apes. One of the Apes, who had raised himself to be king, commanded
them to be seized and brought before him, that he might know what was
said of him among men. He ordered at the same time that all the Apes be
arranged in a long row on his right hand and on his left, and that a
throne be placed for him, as was the custom among men. After these
preparations he signified that the two men should be brought before
him, and greeted them with this salutation: “What sort of a king do I
seem to you to be, O strangers?” The Lying Traveler replied, “You seem
to me a most mighty king.” “And what is your estimate of those you see
around me?” “These,” he made answer, “are worthy companions of
yourself, fit at least to be ambassadors and leaders of armies.” The
Ape and all his court, gratified with the lie, commanded that a
handsome present be given to the flatterer. On this the truthful
Traveler thought to himself, “If so great a reward be given for a lie,
with what gift may not I be rewarded, if, according to my custom, I
tell the truth?” The Ape quickly turned to him. “And pray how do I and
these my friends around me seem to you?” “Thou art,” he said, “a most
excellent Ape, and all these thy companions after thy example are
excellent Apes too.” The King of the Apes, enraged at hearing these
truths, gave him over to the teeth and claws of his companions.

The Fox and the Lion

WHEN A FOX who had never yet seen a Lion, fell in with him by chance
for the first time in the forest, he was so frightened that he nearly
died with fear. On meeting him for the second time, he was still much
alarmed, but not to the same extent as at first. On seeing him the
third time, he so increased in boldness that he went up to him and
commenced a familiar conversation with him.

Acquaintance softens prejudices.

The Weasel and the Mice

A WEASEL, inactive from age and infirmities, was not able to catch mice
as he once did. He therefore rolled himself in flour and lay down in a
dark corner. A Mouse, supposing him to be food, leaped upon him, and
was instantly caught and squeezed to death. Another perished in a
similar manner, and then a third, and still others after them. A very
old Mouse, who had escaped many a trap and snare, observed from a safe
distance the trick of his crafty foe and said, “Ah! you that lie there,
may you prosper just in the same proportion as you are what you pretend
to be!”

The Boy Bathing

A BOY bathing in a river was in danger of being drowned. He called out
to a passing traveler for help, but instead of holding out a helping
hand, the man stood by unconcernedly, and scolded the boy for his
imprudence. “Oh, sir!” cried the youth, “pray help me now and scold me
afterwards.”

Counsel without help is useless.

The Peacock and Juno

THE PEACOCK made complaint to Juno that, while the nightingale pleased
every ear with his song, he himself no sooner opened his mouth than he
became a laughingstock to all who heard him. The Goddess, to console
him, said, “But you far excel in beauty and in size. The splendor of
the emerald shines in your neck and you unfold a tail gorgeous with
painted plumage.” “But for what purpose have I,” said the bird, “this
dumb beauty so long as I am surpassed in song?” “The lot of each,”
replied Juno, “has been assigned by the will of the Fates—to thee,
beauty; to the eagle, strength; to the nightingale, song; to the raven,
favourable, and to the crow, unfavourable auguries. These are all
contented with the endowments allotted to them.”

The Wolf and the Shepherd

A WOLF followed a flock of sheep for a long time and did not attempt to
injure one of them. The Shepherd at first stood on his guard against
him, as against an enemy, and kept a strict watch over his movements.
But when the Wolf, day after day, kept in the company of the sheep and
did not make the slightest effort to seize them, the Shepherd began to
look upon him as a guardian of his flock rather than as a plotter of
evil against it; and when occasion called him one day into the city, he
left the sheep entirely in his charge. The Wolf, now that he had the
opportunity, fell upon the sheep, and destroyed the greater part of the
flock. When the Shepherd returned to find his flock destroyed, he
exclaimed: “I have been rightly served; why did I trust my sheep to a
Wolf?”

The Hares and the Lions

THE HARES harangued the assembly, and argued that all should be equal.
The Lions made this reply: “Your words, O Hares! are good; but they
lack both claws and teeth such as we have.”

The Seller of Images

A CERTAIN MAN made a wooden image of Mercury and offered it for sale.
When no one appeared willing to buy it, in order to attract purchasers,
he cried out that he had the statue to sell of a benefactor who
bestowed wealth and helped to heap up riches. One of the bystanders
said to him, “My good fellow, why do you sell him, being such a one as
you describe, when you may yourself enjoy the good things he has to
give?” “Why,” he replied, “I am in need of immediate help, and he is
wont to give his good gifts very slowly.”

The Hawk and the Nightingale

A NIGHTINGALE, sitting aloft upon an oak and singing according to his
wont, was seen by a Hawk who, being in need of food, swooped down and
seized him. The Nightingale, about to lose his life, earnestly begged
the Hawk to let him go, saying that he was not big enough to satisfy
the hunger of a Hawk who, if he wanted food, ought to pursue the larger
birds. The Hawk, interrupting him, said: “I should indeed have lost my
senses if I should let go food ready in my hand, for the sake of
pursuing birds which are not yet even within sight.”

The Lark and Her Young Ones

A LARK had made her nest in the early spring on the young green wheat.
The brood had almost grown to their full strength and attained the use
of their wings and the full plumage of their feathers, when the owner
of the field, looking over his ripe crop, said, “The time has come when
I must ask all my neighbors to help me with my harvest.” One of the
young Larks heard his speech and related it to his mother, inquiring of
her to what place they should move for safety. “There is no occasion to
move yet, my son,” she replied; “the man who only sends to his friends
to help him with his harvest is not really in earnest.” The owner of
the field came again a few days later and saw the wheat shedding the
grain from excess of ripeness. He said, “I will come myself tomorrow
with my laborers, and with as many reapers as I can hire, and will get
in the harvest.” The Lark on hearing these words said to her brood, “It
is time now to be off, my little ones, for the man is in earnest this
time; he no longer trusts his friends, but will reap the field
himself.”

Self-help is the best help.

The Dog, the Cock, and the Fox

A DOG and a Cock being great friends, agreed to travel together. At
nightfall they took shelter in a thick wood. The Cock flying up,
perched himself on the branches of a tree, while the Dog found a bed
beneath in the hollow trunk. When the morning dawned, the Cock, as
usual, crowed very loudly several times. A Fox heard the sound, and
wishing to make a breakfast on him, came and stood under the branches,
saying how earnestly he desired to make the acquaintance of the owner
of so magnificent a voice. The Cock, suspecting his civilities, said:
“Sir, I wish you would do me the favour of going around to the hollow
trunk below me, and waking my porter, so that he may open the door and
let you in.” When the Fox approached the tree, the Dog sprang out and
caught him, and tore him to pieces.

The Geese and the Cranes

THE GEESE and the Cranes were feeding in the same meadow, when a
birdcatcher came to ensnare them in his nets. The Cranes, being light
of wing, fled away at his approach; while the Geese, being slower of
flight and heavier in their bodies, were captured.

The Ass and the Wolf

AN ASS feeding in a meadow saw a Wolf approaching to seize him, and
immediately pretended to be lame. The Wolf, coming up, inquired the
cause of his lameness. The Ass replied that passing through a hedge he
had trod with his foot upon a sharp thorn. He requested that the Wolf
pull it out, lest when he ate him it should injure his throat. The Wolf
consented and lifted up the foot, and was giving his whole mind to the
discovery of the thorn, when the Ass, with his heels, kicked his teeth
into his mouth and galloped away. The Wolf, being thus fearfully
mauled, said, “I am rightly served, for why did I attempt the art of
healing, when my father only taught me the trade of a butcher?”

The Goat and the Ass

A MAN once kept a Goat and an Ass. The Goat, envying the Ass on account
of his greater abundance of food, said, “How shamefully you are
treated: at one time grinding in the mill, and at another carrying
heavy burdens;” and he further advised him to pretend to be epileptic
and fall into a ditch and so obtain rest. The Ass listened to his
words, and falling into a ditch, was very much bruised. His master,
sending for a leech, asked his advice. He bade him pour upon the wounds
the lungs of a Goat. They at once killed the Goat, and so healed the
Ass.

The Lion and the Bull

A LION, greatly desiring to capture a Bull, and yet afraid to attack
him on account of his great size, resorted to a trick to ensure his
destruction. He approached the Bull and said, “I have slain a fine
sheep, my friend; and if you will come home and partake of him with me,
I shall be delighted to have your company.” The Lion said this in the
hope that, as the Bull was in the act of reclining to eat, he might
attack him to advantage, and make his meal on him. The Bull, on
approaching the Lion’s den, saw the huge spits and giant caldrons, and
no sign whatever of the sheep, and, without saying a word, quietly took
his departure. The Lion inquired why he went off so abruptly without a
word of salutation to his host, who had not given him any cause for
offense. “I have reasons enough,” said the Bull. “I see no indication
whatever of your having slaughtered a sheep, while I do see very
plainly every preparation for your dining on a bull.”

The Fox and the Mask

A FOX entered the house of an actor and, rummaging through all his
properties, came upon a Mask, an admirable imitation of a human head.
He placed his paws on it and said, “What a beautiful head! Yet it is of
no value, as it entirely lacks brains.”

The Grasshopper and the Owl

AN OWL, accustomed to feed at night and to sleep during the day, was
greatly disturbed by the noise of a Grasshopper and earnestly besought
her to stop chirping. The Grasshopper refused to desist, and chirped
louder and louder the more the Owl entreated. When she saw that she
could get no redress and that her words were despised, the Owl attacked
the chatterer by a stratagem. “Since I cannot sleep,” she said, “on
account of your song which, believe me, is sweet as the lyre of Apollo,
I shall indulge myself in drinking some nectar which Pallas lately gave
me. If you do not dislike it, come to me and we will drink it
together.” The Grasshopper, who was thirsty, and pleased with the
praise of her voice, eagerly flew up. The Owl came forth from her
hollow, seized her, and put her to death.

The Fowler and the Viper

A FOWLER, taking his bird-lime and his twigs, went out to catch birds.
Seeing a thrush sitting upon a tree, he wished to take it, and fitting
his twigs to a proper length, watched intently, having his whole
thoughts directed towards the sky. While thus looking upwards, he
unknowingly trod upon a Viper asleep just before his feet. The Viper,
turning about, stung him, and falling into a swoon, the man said to
himself, “Woe is me! that while I purposed to hunt another, I am myself
fallen unawares into the snares of death.”

The Horse and the Ass

A HORSE, proud of his fine trappings, met an Ass on the highway. The
Ass, being heavily laden, moved slowly out of the way. “Hardly,” said
the Horse, “can I resist kicking you with my heels.” The Ass held his
peace, and made only a silent appeal to the justice of the gods. Not
long afterwards the Horse, having become broken-winded, was sent by his
owner to the farm. The Ass, seeing him drawing a dungcart, thus derided
him: “Where, O boaster, are now all thy gay trappings, thou who are
thyself reduced to the condition you so lately treated with contempt?”

The Lion and the Three Bulls

THREE BULLS for a long time pastured together. A Lion lay in ambush in
the hope of making them his prey, but was afraid to attack them while
they kept together. Having at last by guileful speeches succeeded in
separating them, he attacked them without fear as they fed alone, and
feasted on them one by one at his own leisure.

Union is strength.

The Wolf and the Goat

A WOLF saw a Goat feeding at the summit of a steep precipice, where he
had no chance of reaching her. He called to her and earnestly begged
her to come lower down, lest she fall by some mishap; and he added that
the meadows lay where he was standing, and that the herbage was most
tender. She replied, “No, my friend, it is not for the pasture that you
invite me, but for yourself, who are in want of food.”

The Fly and the Draught-Mule

A FLY sat on the axle-tree of a chariot, and addressing the
Draught-Mule said, “How slow you are! Why do you not go faster? See if
I do not prick your neck with my sting.” The Draught-Mule replied, “I
do not heed your threats; I only care for him who sits above you, and
who quickens my pace with his whip, or holds me back with the reins.
Away, therefore, with your insolence, for I know well when to go fast,
and when to go slow.”

The Fishermen

SOME FISHERMEN were out trawling their nets. Perceiving them to be very
heavy, they danced about for joy and supposed that they had taken a
large catch. When they had dragged the nets to the shore they found but
few fish: the nets were full of sand and stones, and the men were
beyond measure cast down so much at the disappointment which had
befallen them, but because they had formed such very different
expectations. One of their company, an old man, said, “Let us cease
lamenting, my mates, for, as it seems to me, sorrow is always the twin
sister of joy; and it was only to be looked for that we, who just now
were over-rejoiced, should next have something to make us sad.”

The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse

A COUNTRY MOUSE invited a Town Mouse, an intimate friend, to pay him a
visit and partake of his country fare. As they were on the bare
plowlands, eating there wheat-stocks and roots pulled up from the
hedgerow, the Town Mouse said to his friend, “You live here the life of
the ants, while in my house is the horn of plenty. I am surrounded by
every luxury, and if you will come with me, as I wish you would, you
shall have an ample share of my dainties.” The Country Mouse was easily
persuaded, and returned to town with his friend. On his arrival, the
Town Mouse placed before him bread, barley, beans, dried figs, honey,
raisins, and, last of all, brought a dainty piece of cheese from a
basket. The Country Mouse, being much delighted at the sight of such
good cheer, expressed his satisfaction in warm terms and lamented his
own hard fate. Just as they were beginning to eat, someone opened the
door, and they both ran off squeaking, as fast as they could, to a hole
so narrow that two could only find room in it by squeezing. They had
scarcely begun their repast again when someone else entered to take
something out of a cupboard, whereupon the two Mice, more frightened
than before, ran away and hid themselves. At last the Country Mouse,
almost famished, said to his friend: “Although you have prepared for me
so dainty a feast, I must leave you to enjoy it by yourself. It is
surrounded by too many dangers to please me. I prefer my bare plowlands
and roots from the hedgerow, where I can live in safety, and without
fear.”

The Wolf, the Fox, and the Ape

A WOLF accused a Fox of theft, but the Fox entirely denied the charge.
An Ape undertook to adjudge the matter between them. When each had
fully stated his case the Ape announced this sentence: “I do not think
you, Wolf, ever lost what you claim; and I do believe you, Fox, to have
stolen what you so stoutly deny.”

The dishonest, if they act honestly, get no credit.

The Wasps, the Partridges, and the Farmer

THE WASPS and the Partridges, overcome with thirst, came to a Farmer
and besought him to give them some water to drink. They promised amply
to repay him the favour which they asked. The Partridges declared that
they would dig around his vines and make them produce finer grapes. The
Wasps said that they would keep guard and drive off thieves with their
stings. But the Farmer interrupted them, saying: “I have already two
oxen, who, without making any promises, do all these things. It is
surely better for me to give the water to them than to you.”

The Brother and the Sister

A FATHER had one son and one daughter, the former remarkable for his
good looks, the latter for her extraordinary ugliness. While they were
playing one day as children, they happened by chance to look together
into a mirror that was placed on their mother’s chair. The boy
congratulated himself on his good looks; the girl grew angry, and could
not bear the self-praises of her Brother, interpreting all he said (and
how could she do otherwise?) into reflection on herself. She ran off to
her father, to be avenged on her Brother, and spitefully accused him of
having, as a boy, made use of that which belonged only to girls. The
father embraced them both, and bestowing his kisses and affection
impartially on each, said, “I wish you both would look into the mirror
every day: you, my son, that you may not spoil your beauty by evil
conduct; and you, my daughter, that you may make up for your lack of
beauty by your virtues.”

The Dogs and the Fox

SOME DOGS, finding the skin of a lion, began to tear it in pieces with
their teeth. A Fox, seeing them, said, “If this lion were alive, you
would soon find out that his claws were stronger than your teeth.”

It is easy to kick a man that is down.

The Blind Man and the Whelp

A BLIND MAN was accustomed to distinguishing different animals by
touching them with his hands. The whelp of a Wolf was brought him, with
a request that he would feel it, and say what it was. He felt it, and
being in doubt, said: “I do not quite know whether it is the cub of a
Fox, or the whelp of a Wolf, but this I know full well. It would not be
safe to admit him to the sheepfold.”

Evil tendencies are shown in early life.

The Cobbler Turned Doctor

A COBBLER unable to make a living by his trade and made desperate by
poverty, began to practice medicine in a town in which he was not
known. He sold a drug, pretending that it was an antidote to all
poisons, and obtained a great name for himself by long-winded puffs and
advertisements. When the Cobbler happened to fall sick himself of a
serious illness, the Governor of the town determined to test his skill.
For this purpose he called for a cup, and while filling it with water,
pretended to mix poison with the Cobbler’s antidote, commanding him to
drink it on the promise of a reward. The Cobbler, under the fear of
death, confessed that he had no knowledge of medicine, and was only
made famous by the stupid clamors of the crowd. The Governor then
called a public assembly and addressed the citizens: “Of what folly
have you been guilty? You have not hesitated to entrust your heads to a
man, whom no one could employ to make even the shoes for their feet.”

The Wolf and the Horse

A WOLF coming out of a field of oats met a Horse and thus addressed
him: “I would advise you to go into that field. It is full of fine
oats, which I have left untouched for you, as you are a friend whom I
would love to hear enjoying good eating.” The Horse replied, “If oats
had been the food of wolves, you would never have indulged your ears at
the cost of your belly.”

Men of evil reputation, when they perform a good deed, fail to get
credit for it.

The Two Men Who Were Enemies

TWO MEN, deadly enemies to each other, were sailing in the same vessel.
Determined to keep as far apart as possible, the one seated himself in
the stem, and the other in the prow of the ship. A violent storm arose,
and with the vessel in great danger of sinking, the one in the stern
inquired of the pilot which of the two ends of the ship would go down
first. On his replying that he supposed it would be the prow, the Man
said, “Death would not be grievous to me, if I could only see my Enemy
die before me.”

The Gamecocks and the Partridge

A MAN had two Gamecocks in his poultry-yard. One day by chance he found
a tame Partridge for sale. He purchased it and brought it home to be
reared with his Gamecocks. When the Partridge was put into the
poultry-yard, they struck at it and followed it about, so that the
Partridge became grievously troubled and supposed that he was thus
evilly treated because he was a stranger. Not long afterwards he saw
the Cocks fighting together and not separating before one had well
beaten the other. He then said to himself, “I shall no longer distress
myself at being struck at by these Gamecocks, when I see that they
cannot even refrain from quarreling with each other.”

The Fox and the Lion

A FOX saw a Lion confined in a cage, and standing near him, bitterly
reviled him. The Lion said to the Fox, “It is not thou who revilest me;
but this mischance which has befallen me.”

The Quack Frog

A FROG once upon a time came forth from his home in the marsh and
proclaimed to all the beasts that he was a learned physician, skilled
in the use of drugs and able to heal all diseases. A Fox asked him,
“How can you pretend to prescribe for others, when you are unable to
heal your own lame gait and wrinkled skin?”

The Lion, the Wolf, and the Fox

A LION, growing old, lay sick in his cave. All the beasts came to visit
their king, except the Fox. The Wolf therefore, thinking that he had a
capital opportunity, accused the Fox to the Lion of not paying any
respect to him who had the rule over them all and of not coming to
visit him. At that very moment the Fox came in and heard these last
words of the Wolf. The Lion roaring out in a rage against him, the Fox
sought an opportunity to defend himself and said, “And who of all those
who have come to you have benefited you so much as I, who have traveled
from place to place in every direction, and have sought and learnt from
the physicians the means of healing you?” The Lion commanded him
immediately to tell him the cure, when he replied, “You must flay a
wolf alive and wrap his skin yet warm around you.” The Wolf was at once
taken and flayed; whereon the Fox, turning to him, said with a smile,
“You should have moved your master not to ill, but to good, will.”

The Dog’s House

IN THE WINTERTIME, a Dog curled up in as small a space as possible on
account of the cold, determined to make himself a house. However when
the summer returned again, he lay asleep stretched at his full length
and appeared to himself to be of a great size. Now he considered that
it would be neither an easy nor a necessary work to make himself such a
house as would accommodate him.

The North Wind and the Sun

THE NORTH WIND and the Sun disputed as to which was the most powerful,
and agreed that he should be declared the victor who could first strip
a wayfaring man of his clothes. The North Wind first tried his power
and blew with all his might, but the keener his blasts, the closer the
Traveler wrapped his cloak around him, until at last, resigning all
hope of victory, the Wind called upon the Sun to see what he could do.
The Sun suddenly shone out with all his warmth. The Traveler no sooner
felt his genial rays than he took off one garment after another, and at
last, fairly overcome with heat, undressed and bathed in a stream that
lay in his path.

Persuasion is better than Force.

The Crow and Mercury

A CROW caught in a snare prayed to Apollo to release him, making a vow
to offer some frankincense at his shrine. But when rescued from his
danger, he forgot his promise. Shortly afterwards, again caught in a
snare, he passed by Apollo and made the same promise to offer
frankincense to Mercury. Mercury soon appeared and said to him, “O thou
most base fellow? how can I believe thee, who hast disowned and wronged
thy former patron?”

The Fox and the Crane

A FOX invited a Crane to supper and provided nothing for his
entertainment but some soup made of pulse, which was poured out into a
broad flat stone dish. The soup fell out of the long bill of the Crane
at every mouthful, and his vexation at not being able to eat afforded
the Fox much amusement. The Crane, in his turn, asked the Fox to sup
with him, and set before her a flagon with a long narrow mouth, so that
he could easily insert his neck and enjoy its contents at his leisure.
The Fox, unable even to taste it, met with a fitting requital, after
the fashion of her own hospitality.

The Wolf and the Lion

ROAMING BY the mountainside at sundown, a Wolf saw his own shadow
become greatly extended and magnified, and he said to himself, “Why
should I, being of such an immense size and extending nearly an acre in
length, be afraid of the Lion? Ought I not to be acknowledged as King
of all the collected beasts?” While he was indulging in these proud
thoughts, a Lion fell upon him and killed him. He exclaimed with a too
late repentance, “Wretched me! this overestimation of myself is the
cause of my destruction.”

The Birds, the Beasts, and the Bat

THE BIRDS waged war with the Beasts, and each were by turns the
conquerors. A Bat, fearing the uncertain issues of the fight, always
fought on the side which he felt was the strongest. When peace was
proclaimed, his deceitful conduct was apparent to both combatants.
Therefore being condemned by each for his treachery, he was driven
forth from the light of day, and henceforth concealed himself in dark
hiding-places, flying always alone and at night.

The Spendthrift and the Swallow

A YOUNG MAN, a great spendthrift, had run through all his patrimony and
had but one good cloak left. One day he happened to see a Swallow,
which had appeared before its season, skimming along a pool and
twittering gaily. He supposed that summer had come, and went and sold
his cloak. Not many days later, winter set in again with renewed frost
and cold. When he found the unfortunate Swallow lifeless on the ground,
he said, “Unhappy bird! what have you done? By thus appearing before
the springtime you have not only killed yourself, but you have wrought
my destruction also.”

The Trumpeter Taken Prisoner

A TRUMPETER, bravely leading on the soldiers, was captured by the
enemy. He cried out to his captors, “Pray spare me, and do not take my
life without cause or without inquiry. I have not slain a single man of
your troop. I have no arms, and carry nothing but this one brass
trumpet.” “That is the very reason for which you should be put to
death,” they said; “for, while you do not fight yourself, your trumpet
stirs all the others to battle.”

The Owl and the Birds

AN OWL, in her wisdom, counseled the Birds that when the acorn first
began to sprout, to pull it all up out of the ground and not allow it
to grow. She said acorns would produce mistletoe, from which an
irremediable poison, the bird-lime, would be extracted and by which
they would be captured. The Owl next advised them to pluck up the seed
of the flax, which men had sown, as it was a plant which boded no good
to them. And, lastly, the Owl, seeing an archer approach, predicted
that this man, being on foot, would contrive darts armed with feathers
which would fly faster than the wings of the Birds themselves. The
Birds gave no credence to these warning words, but considered the Owl
to be beside herself and said that she was mad. But afterwards, finding
her words were true, they wondered at her knowledge and deemed her to
be the wisest of birds. Hence it is that when she appears they look to
her as knowing all things, while she no longer gives them advice, but
in solitude laments their past folly.

The Goods and the Ills

ALL the Goods were once driven out by the Ills from that common share
which they each had in the affairs of mankind; for the Ills by reason
of their numbers had prevailed to possess the earth. The Goods wafted
themselves to heaven and asked for a righteous vengeance on their
persecutors. They entreated Jupiter that they might no longer be
associated with the Ills, as they had nothing in common and could not
live together, but were engaged in unceasing warfare; and that an
indissoluble law might be laid down for their future protection.
Jupiter granted their request and decreed that henceforth the Ills
should visit the earth in company with each other, but that the Goods
should one by one enter the habitations of men. Hence it arises that
Ills abound, for they come not one by one, but in troops, and by no
means singly: while the Goods proceed from Jupiter, and are given, not
alike to all, but singly, and separately; and one by one to those who
are able to discern them.

The Ass in the Lion’s Skin

AN ASS, having put on the Lion’s skin, roamed about in the forest and
amused himself by frightening all the foolish animals he met in his
wanderings. At last coming upon a Fox, he tried to frighten him also,
but the Fox no sooner heard the sound of his voice than he exclaimed,
“I might possibly have been frightened myself, if I had not heard your
bray.”

The Sparrow and the Hare

A HARE pounced upon by an eagle sobbed very much and uttered cries like
a child. A Sparrow upbraided her and said, “Where now is thy remarkable
swiftness of foot? Why were your feet so slow?” While the Sparrow was
thus speaking, a hawk suddenly seized him and killed him. The Hare was
comforted in her death, and expiring said, “Ah! you who so lately, when
you supposed yourself safe, exulted over my calamity, have now reason
to deplore a similar misfortune.”

The Flea and the Ox

A FLEA thus questioned an Ox: “What ails you, that being so huge and
strong, you submit to the wrongs you receive from men and slave for
them day by day, while I, being so small a creature, mercilessly feed
on their flesh and drink their blood without stint?” The Ox replied: “I
do not wish to be ungrateful, for I am loved and well cared for by men,
and they often pat my head and shoulders.” “Woe’s me!” said the flea;
“this very patting which you like, whenever it happens to me, brings
with it my inevitable destruction.”

The Ass and His Purchaser

A MAN wished to purchase an Ass, and agreed with its owner that he
should try out the animal before he bought him. He took the Ass home
and put him in the straw-yard with his other Asses, upon which the new
animal left all the others and at once joined the one that was most
idle and the greatest eater of them all. Seeing this, the man put a
halter on him and led him back to his owner. On being asked how, in so
short a time, he could have made a trial of him, he answered, “I do not
need a trial; I know that he will be just the same as the one he chose
for his companion.”

A man is known by the company he keeps.

The Dove and the Crow

A DOVE shut up in a cage was boasting of the large number of young ones
which she had hatched. A Crow hearing her, said: “My good friend, cease
from this unseasonable boasting. The larger the number of your family,
the greater your cause of sorrow, in seeing them shut up in this
prison-house.”

The Man and the Satyr

A MAN and a Satyr once drank together in token of a bond of alliance
being formed between them. One very cold wintry day, as they talked,
the Man put his fingers to his mouth and blew on them. When the Satyr
asked the reason for this, he told him that he did it to warm his hands
because they were so cold. Later on in the day they sat down to eat,
and the food prepared was quite scalding. The Man raised one of the
dishes a little towards his mouth and blew in it. When the Satyr again
inquired the reason, he said that he did it to cool the meat, which was
too hot. “I can no longer consider you as a friend,” said the Satyr, “a
fellow who with the same breath blows hot and cold.”

Jupiter, Neptune, Minerva, and Momus

ACCORDING to an ancient legend, the first man was made by Jupiter, the
first bull by Neptune, and the first house by Minerva. On the
completion of their labours, a dispute arose as to which had made the
most perfect work. They agreed to appoint Momus as judge, and to abide
by his decision. Momus, however, being very envious of the handicraft
of each, found fault with all. He first blamed the work of Neptune
because he had not made the horns of the bull below his eyes, so he
might better see where to strike. He then condemned the work of
Jupiter, because he had not placed the heart of man on the outside,
that everyone might read the thoughts of the evil disposed and take
precautions against the intended mischief. And, lastly, he inveighed
against Minerva because she had not contrived iron wheels in the
foundation of her house, so its inhabitants might more easily remove if
a neighbor proved unpleasant. Jupiter, indignant at such inveterate
faultfinding, drove him from his office of judge, and expelled him from
the mansions of Olympus.

The Eagle and the Jackdaw

AN EAGLE, flying down from his perch on a lofty rock, seized upon a
lamb and carried him aloft in his talons. A Jackdaw, who witnessed the
capture of the lamb, was stirred with envy and determined to emulate
the strength and flight of the Eagle. He flew around with a great whir
of his wings and settled upon a large ram, with the intention of
carrying him off, but his claws became entangled in the ram’s fleece
and he was not able to release himself, although he fluttered with his
feathers as much as he could. The shepherd, seeing what had happened,
ran up and caught him. He at once clipped the Jackdaw’s wings, and
taking him home at night, gave him to his children. On their saying,
“Father, what kind of bird is it?” he replied, “To my certain knowledge
he is a Daw; but he would like you to think an Eagle.”

The Eagle and the Fox

AN EAGLE and a Fox formed an intimate friendship and decided to live
near each other. The Eagle built her nest in the branches of a tall
tree, while the Fox crept into the underwood and there produced her
young. Not long after they had agreed upon this plan, the Eagle, being
in want of provision for her young ones, swooped down while the Fox was
out, seized upon one of the little cubs, and feasted herself and her
brood. The Fox on her return, discovered what had happened, but was
less grieved for the death of her young than for her inability to
avenge them. A just retribution, however, quickly fell upon the Eagle.
While hovering near an altar, on which some villagers were sacrificing
a goat, she suddenly seized a piece of the flesh, and carried it, along
with a burning cinder, to her nest. A strong breeze soon fanned the
spark into a flame, and the eaglets, as yet unfledged and helpless,
were roasted in their nest and dropped down dead at the bottom of the
tree. There, in the sight of the Eagle, the Fox gobbled them up.

The Two Bags

EVERY MAN, according to an ancient legend, is born into the world with
two bags suspended from his neck all bag in front full of his
neighbors’ faults, and a large bag behind filled with his own faults.
Hence it is that men are quick to see the faults of others, and yet are
often blind to their own failings.

The Bitch and Her Whelps

A BITCH, ready to whelp, earnestly begged a shepherd for a place where
she might litter. When her request was granted, she besought permission
to rear her puppies in the same spot. The shepherd again consented. But
at last the Bitch, protected by the bodyguard of her Whelps, who had
now grown up and were able to defend themselves, asserted her exclusive
right to the place and would not permit the shepherd to approach.

The Stag at the Pool

A STAG overpowered by heat came to a spring to drink. Seeing his own
shadow reflected in the water, he greatly admired the size and variety
of his horns, but felt angry with himself for having such slender and
weak feet. While he was thus contemplating himself, a Lion appeared at
the pool and crouched to spring upon him. The Stag immediately took to
flight, and exerting his utmost speed, as long as the plain was smooth
and open kept himself easily at a safe distance from the Lion. But
entering a wood he became entangled by his horns, and the Lion quickly
came up to him and caught him. When too late, he thus reproached
himself: “Woe is me! How I have deceived myself! These feet which would
have saved me I despised, and I gloried in these antlers which have
proved my destruction.”

What is most truly valuable is often underrated.

The Lark Burying Her Father

THE LARK (according to an ancient legend) was created before the earth
itself, and when her father died, as there was no earth, she could find
no place of burial for him. She let him lie uninterred for five days,
and on the sixth day, not knowing what else to do, she buried him in
her own head. Hence she obtained her crest, which is popularly said to
be her father’s grave-hillock.

Youth’s first duty is reverence to parents.

The Gnat and the Bull

A GNAT settled on the horn of a Bull, and sat there a long time. Just
as he was about to fly off, he made a buzzing noise, and inquired of
the Bull if he would like him to go. The Bull replied, “I did not know
you had come, and I shall not miss you when you go away.”

Some men are of more consequence in their own eyes than in the eyes of
their neighbors.

The Monkey and the Camel

THE BEASTS of the forest gave a splendid entertainment at which the
Monkey stood up and danced. Having vastly delighted the assembly, he
sat down amidst universal applause. The Camel, envious of the praises
bestowed on the Monkey and desiring to divert to himself the favour of
the guests, proposed to stand up in his turn and dance for their
amusement. He moved about in so utterly ridiculous a manner that the
Beasts, in a fit of indignation, set upon him with clubs and drove him
out of the assembly.

It is absurd to ape our betters.

The Dogs and the Hides

SOME DOGS famished with hunger saw a number of cowhides steeping in a
river. Not being able to reach them, they agreed to drink up the river,
but it happened that they burst themselves with drinking long before
they reached the hides.

Attempt not impossibilities.

The Jackdaw and the Fox

A HALF-FAMISHED JACKDAW seated himself on a fig-tree, which had
produced some fruit entirely out of season, and waited in the hope that
the figs would ripen. A Fox seeing him sitting so long and learning the
reason of his doing so, said to him, “You are indeed, sir, sadly
deceiving yourself; you are indulging a hope strong enough to cheat
you, but which will never reward you with enjoyment.”

Mercury and the Workmen

A WORKMAN, felling wood by the side of a river, let his axe drop by
accident into a deep pool. Being thus deprived of the means of his
livelihood, he sat down on the bank and lamented his hard fate. Mercury
appeared and demanded the cause of his tears. After he told him his
misfortune, Mercury plunged into the stream, and, bringing up a golden
axe, inquired if that were the one he had lost. On his saying that it
was not his, Mercury disappeared beneath the water a second time,
returned with a silver axe in his hand, and again asked the Workman if
it were his. When the Workman said it was not, he dived into the pool
for the third time and brought up the axe that had been lost. The
Workman claimed it and expressed his joy at its recovery. Mercury,
pleased with his honesty, gave him the golden and silver axes in
addition to his own. The Workman, on his return to his house, related
to his companions all that had happened. One of them at once resolved
to try and secure the same good fortune for himself. He ran to the
river and threw his axe on purpose into the pool at the same place, and
sat down on the bank to weep. Mercury appeared to him just as he hoped
he would; and having learned the cause of his grief, plunged into the
stream and brought up a golden axe, inquiring if he had lost it. The
Workman seized it greedily, and declared that truly it was the very
same axe that he had lost. Mercury, displeased at his knavery, not only
took away the golden axe, but refused to recover for him the axe he had
thrown into the pool.

The Peasant and the Apple-Tree

A PEASANT had in his garden an Apple-Tree which bore no fruit but only
served as a harbor for the sparrows and grasshoppers. He resolved to
cut it down, and taking his axe in his hand, made a bold stroke at its
roots. The grasshoppers and sparrows entreated him not to cut down the
tree that sheltered them, but to spare it, and they would sing to him
and lighten his labours. He paid no attention to their request, but
gave the tree a second and a third blow with his axe. When he reached
the hollow of the tree, he found a hive full of honey. Having tasted
the honeycomb, he threw down his axe, and looking on the tree as
sacred, took great care of it.

Self-interest alone moves some men.

The Two Soldiers and the Robber

TWO SOLDIERS traveling together were set upon by a Robber. The one fled
away; the other stood his ground and defended himself with his stout
right hand. The Robber being slain, the timid companion ran up and drew
his sword, and then, throwing back his traveling cloak said, “I’ll at
him, and I’ll take care he shall learn whom he has attacked.” On this,
he who had fought with the Robber made answer, “I only wish that you
had helped me just now, even if it had been only with those words, for
I should have been the more encouraged, believing them to be true; but
now put up your sword in its sheath and hold your equally useless
tongue, till you can deceive others who do not know you. I, indeed, who
have experienced with what speed you run away, know right well that no
dependence can be placed on your valor.”

The Shepherd and the Sheep

A SHEPHERD driving his Sheep to a wood, saw an oak of unusual size full
of acorns, and spreading his cloak under the branches, he climbed up
into the tree and shook them down. The Sheep eating the acorns
inadvertently frayed and tore the cloak. When the Shepherd came down
and saw what was done, he said, “O you most ungrateful creatures! You
provide wool to make garments for all other men, but you destroy the
clothes of him who feeds you.”

The Trees Under the Protection of the Gods

THE GODS, according to an ancient legend, made choice of certain trees
to be under their special protection. Jupiter chose the oak, Venus the
myrtle, Apollo the laurel, Cybele the pine, and Hercules the poplar.
Minerva, wondering why they had preferred trees not yielding fruit,
inquired the reason for their choice. Jupiter replied, “It is lest we
should seem to covet the honour for the fruit.” But said Minerva, “Let
anyone say what he will the olive is more dear to me on account of its
fruit.” Then said Jupiter, “My daughter, you are rightly called wise;
for unless what we do is useful, the glory of it is vain.”

The Flea and the Wrestler

A FLEA settled upon the bare foot of a Wrestler and bit him, causing
the man to call loudly upon Hercules for help. When the Flea a second
time hopped upon his foot, he groaned and said, “O Hercules! if you
will not help me against a Flea, how can I hope for your assistance
against greater antagonists?”

The Lion and the Fox

A FOX entered into partnership with a Lion on the pretense of becoming
his servant. Each undertook his proper duty in accordance with his own
nature and powers. The Fox discovered and pointed out the prey; the
Lion sprang on it and seized it. The Fox soon became jealous of the
Lion carrying off the Lion’s share, and said that he would no longer
find out the prey, but would capture it on his own account. The next
day he attempted to snatch a lamb from the fold, but he himself fell
prey to the huntsmen and hounds.

Truth and the Traveler

A WAYFARING MAN, traveling in the desert, met a woman standing alone
and terribly dejected. He inquired of her, “Who art thou?” “My name is
Truth,” she replied. “And for what cause,” he asked, “have you left the
city to dwell alone here in the wilderness?” She made answer, “Because
in former times, falsehood was with few, but is now with all men.”

The Manslayer

A MAN committed a murder, and was pursued by the relations of the man
whom he murdered. On his reaching the river Nile he saw a Lion on its
bank and being fearfully afraid, climbed up a tree. He found a serpent
in the upper branches of the tree, and again being greatly alarmed, he
threw himself into the river, where a crocodile caught him and ate him.
Thus the earth, the air, and the water alike refused shelter to a
murderer.

The Lion and the Eagle

AN EAGLE stayed his flight and entreated a Lion to make an alliance
with him to their mutual advantage. The Lion replied, “I have no
objection, but you must excuse me for requiring you to find surety for
your good faith, for how can I trust anyone as a friend who is able to
fly away from his bargain whenever he pleases?”

Try before you trust.

The Ass and His Driver

AN ASS, being driven along a high road, suddenly started off and bolted
to the brink of a deep precipice. While he was in the act of throwing
himself over, his owner seized him by the tail, endeavoring to pull him
back. When the Ass persisted in his effort, the man let him go and
said, “Conquer, but conquer to your cost.”

The Thrush and the Fowler

A THRUSH was feeding on a myrtle-tree and did not move from it because
its berries were so delicious. A Fowler observed her staying so long in
one spot, and having well bird-limed his reeds, caught her. The Thrush,
being at the point of death, exclaimed, “O foolish creature that I am!
For the sake of a little pleasant food I have deprived myself of my
life.”

The Mother and the Wolf

A FAMISHED WOLF was prowling about in the morning in search of food. As
he passed the door of a cottage built in the forest, he heard a Mother
say to her child, “Be quiet, or I will throw you out of the window, and
the Wolf shall eat you.” The Wolf sat all day waiting at the door. In
the evening he heard the same woman fondling her child and saying: “You
are quiet now, and if the Wolf should come, we will kill him.” The
Wolf, hearing these words, went home, gasping with cold and hunger.
When he reached his den, Mistress Wolf inquired of him why he returned
wearied and supperless, so contrary to his wont. He replied: “Why,
forsooth! use I gave credence to the words of a woman!”

The Hen and the Swallow

A HEN finding the eggs of a viper and carefully keeping them warm,
nourished them into life. A Swallow, observing what she had done, said,
“You silly creature! why have you hatched these vipers which, when they
shall have grown, will inflict injury on all, beginning with yourself?”

The Rose and the Amaranth

AN AMARANTH planted in a garden near a Rose-Tree, thus addressed it:
“What a lovely flower is the Rose, a favourite alike with Gods and with
men. I envy you your beauty and your perfume.” The Rose replied, “I
indeed, dear Amaranth, flourish but for a brief season! If no cruel
hand pluck me from my stem, yet I must perish by an early doom. But
thou art immortal and dost never fade, but bloomest for ever in renewed
youth.”

The Travelers and the Plane-Tree

TWO TRAVELERS, worn out by the heat of the summer’s sun, laid
themselves down at noon under the widespreading branches of a
Plane-Tree. As they rested under its shade, one of the Travelers said
to the other, “What a singularly useless tree is the Plane! It bears no
fruit, and is not of the least service to man.” The Plane-Tree,
interrupting him, said, “You ungrateful fellows! Do you, while
receiving benefits from me and resting under my shade, dare to describe
me as useless, and unprofitable?”

Some men underrate their best blessings.

The Ass and the Horse

AN ASS besought a Horse to spare him a small portion of his feed.
“Yes,” said the Horse; “if any remains out of what I am now eating I
will give it you for the sake of my own superior dignity, and if you
will come when I reach my own stall in the evening, I will give you a
little sack full of barley.” The Ass replied, “Thank you. But I can’t
think that you, who refuse me a little matter now, will by and by
confer on me a greater benefit.”

The Crow and the Sheep

A TROUBLESOME CROW seated herself on the back of a Sheep. The Sheep,
much against his will, carried her backward and forward for a long
time, and at last said, “If you had treated a dog in this way, you
would have had your deserts from his sharp teeth.” To this the Crow
replied, “I despise the weak and yield to the strong. I know whom I may
bully and whom I must flatter; and I thus prolong my life to a good old
age.”

The Fox and the Bramble

A FOX was mounting a hedge when he lost his footing and caught hold of
a Bramble to save himself. Having pricked and grievously torn the soles
of his feet, he accused the Bramble because, when he had fled to her
for assistance, she had used him worse than the hedge itself. The
Bramble, interrupting him, said, “But you really must have been out of
your senses to fasten yourself on me, who am myself always accustomed
to fasten upon others.”

The Ass and the Charger

AN ASS congratulated a Horse on being so ungrudgingly and carefully
provided for, while he himself had scarcely enough to eat and not even
that without hard work. But when war broke out, a heavily armed soldier
mounted the Horse, and riding him to the charge, rushed into the very
midst of the enemy. The Horse was wounded and fell dead on the
battlefield. Then the Ass, seeing all these things, changed his mind,
and commiserated the Horse.

The Lion, Jupiter, and the Elephant

THE LION wearied Jupiter with his frequent complaints. “It is true, O
Jupiter!” he said, “that I am gigantic in strength, handsome in shape,
and powerful in attack. I have jaws well provided with teeth, and feet
furnished with claws, and I lord it over all the beasts of the forest,
and what a disgrace it is, that being such as I am, I should be
frightened by the crowing of a cock.” Jupiter replied, “Why do you
blame me without a cause? I have given you all the attributes which I
possess myself, and your courage never fails you except in this one
instance.” On hearing this the Lion groaned and lamented very much and,
reproaching himself with his cowardice, wished that he might die. As
these thoughts passed through his mind, he met an Elephant and came
close to hold a conversation with him. After a time he observed that
the Elephant shook his ears very often, and he inquired what was the
matter and why his ears moved with such a tremor every now and then.
Just at that moment a Gnat settled on the head of the Elephant, and he
replied, “Do you see that little buzzing insect? If it enters my ear,
my fate is sealed. I should die presently.” The Lion said, “Well, since
so huge a beast is afraid of a tiny gnat, I will no more complain, nor
wish myself dead. I find myself, even as I am, better off than the
Elephant.”

The Dog and the Oyster

A DOG, used to eating eggs, saw an Oyster and, opening his mouth to its
widest extent, swallowed it down with the utmost relish, supposing it
to be an egg. Soon afterwards suffering great pain in his stomach, he
said, “I deserve all this torment, for my folly in thinking that
everything round must be an egg.”

They who act without sufficient thought, will often fall into
unsuspected danger.

The Mules and the Robbers

TWO MULES well-laden with packs were trudging along. One carried
panniers filled with money, the other sacks weighted with grain. The
Mule carrying the treasure walked with head erect, as if conscious of
the value of his burden, and tossed up and down the clear-toned bells
fastened to his neck. His companion followed with quiet and easy step.
All of a sudden Robbers rushed upon them from their hiding-places, and
in the scuffle with their owners, wounded with a sword the Mule
carrying the treasure, which they greedily seized while taking no
notice of the grain. The Mule which had been robbed and wounded
bewailed his misfortunes. The other replied, “I am indeed glad that I
was thought so little of, for I have lost nothing, nor am I hurt with
any wound.”

The Lamb and the Wolf

A WOLF pursued a Lamb, which fled for refuge to a certain Temple. The
Wolf called out to him and said, “The Priest will slay you in
sacrifice, if he should catch you.” On which the Lamb replied, “It
would be better for me to be sacrificed in the Temple than to be eaten
by you.”

The Partridge and the Fowler

A FOWLER caught a Partridge and was about to kill it. The Partridge
earnestly begged him to spare his life, saying, “Pray, master, permit
me to live and I will entice many Partridges to you in recompense for
your mercy to me.” The Fowler replied, “I shall now with less scruple
take your life, because you are willing to save it at the cost of
betraying your friends and relations.”

The Flea and the Man

A MAN, very much annoyed with a Flea, caught him at last, and said,
“Who are you who dare to feed on my limbs, and to cost me so much
trouble in catching you?” The Flea replied, “O my dear sir, pray spare
my life, and destroy me not, for I cannot possibly do you much harm.”
The Man, laughing, replied, “Now you shall certainly die by mine own
hands, for no evil, whether it be small or large, ought to be
tolerated.”

The Rich Man and the Tanner

A RICH MAN lived near a Tanner, and not being able to bear the
unpleasant smell of the tan-yard, he pressed his neighbor to go away.
The Tanner put off his departure from time to time, saying that he
would leave soon. But as he still continued to stay, as time went on,
the rich man became accustomed to the smell, and feeling no manner of
inconvenience, made no further complaints.

The Viper and the File

A VIPER, entering the workshop of a smith, sought from the tools the
means of satisfying his hunger. He more particularly addressed himself
to a File, and asked of him the favour of a meal. The File replied,
“You must indeed be a simple-minded fellow if you expect to get
anything from me, who am accustomed to take from everyone, and never to
give anything in return.”

The covetous are poor givers.

The Lion and the Shepherd

A LION, roaming through a forest, trod upon a thorn. Soon afterward he
came up to a Shepherd and fawned upon him, wagging his tail as if to
say, “I am a suppliant, and seek your aid.” The Shepherd boldly
examined the beast, discovered the thorn, and placing his paw upon his
lap, pulled it out; thus relieved of his pain, the Lion returned into
the forest. Some time after, the Shepherd, being imprisoned on a false
accusation, was condemned “to be cast to the Lions” as the punishment
for his imputed crime. But when the Lion was released from his cage, he
recognized the Shepherd as the man who healed him, and instead of
attacking him, approached and placed his foot upon his lap. The King,
as soon as he heard the tale, ordered the Lion to be set free again in
the forest, and the Shepherd to be pardoned and restored to his
friends.

The Camel and Jupiter

THE CAMEL, when he saw the Bull adorned with horns, envied him and
wished that he himself could obtain the same honours. He went to
Jupiter, and besought him to give him horns. Jupiter, vexed at his
request because he was not satisfied with his size and strength of
body, and desired yet more, not only refused to give him horns, but
even deprived him of a portion of his ears.

The Panther and the Shepherds

A PANTHER, by some mischance, fell into a pit. The Shepherds discovered
him, and some threw sticks at him and pelted him with stones, while
others, moved with compassion towards one about to die even though no
one should hurt him, threw in some food to prolong his life. At night
they returned home, not dreaming of any danger, but supposing that on
the morrow they would find him dead. The Panther, however, when he had
recruited his feeble strength, freed himself with a sudden bound from
the pit, and hastened to his den with rapid steps. After a few days he
came forth and slaughtered the cattle, and, killing the Shepherds who
had attacked him, raged with angry fury. Then they who had spared his
life, fearing for their safety, surrendered to him their flocks and
begged only for their lives. To them the Panther made this reply: “I
remember alike those who sought my life with stones, and those who gave
me food aside, therefore, your fears. I return as an enemy only to
those who injured me.”

The Eagle and the Kite

AN EAGLE, overwhelmed with sorrow, sat upon the branches of a tree in
company with a Kite. “Why,” said the Kite, “do I see you with such a
rueful look?” “I seek,” she replied, “a mate suitable for me, and am
not able to find one.” “Take me,” returned the Kite, “I am much
stronger than you are.” “Why, are you able to secure the means of
living by your plunder?” “Well, I have often caught and carried away an
ostrich in my talons.” The Eagle, persuaded by these words, accepted
him as her mate. Shortly after the nuptials, the Eagle said, “Fly off
and bring me back the ostrich you promised me.” The Kite, soaring aloft
into the air, brought back the shabbiest possible mouse, stinking from
the length of time it had lain about the fields. “Is this,” said the
Eagle, “the faithful fulfillment of your promise to me?” The Kite
replied, “That I might attain your royal hand, there is nothing that I
would not have promised, however much I knew that I must fail in the
performance.”

The Eagle and His Captor

AN EAGLE was once captured by a man, who immediately clipped his wings
and put him into his poultry-yard with the other birds, at which
treatment the Eagle was weighed down with grief. Later, another
neighbor purchased him and allowed his feathers to grow again. The
Eagle took flight, and pouncing upon a hare, brought it at once as an
offering to his benefactor. A Fox, seeing this, exclaimed, “Do not
cultivate the favour of this man, but of your former owner, lest he
should again hunt for you and deprive you a second time of your wings.”

The King’s Son and the Painted Lion

A KING, whose only son was fond of martial exercises, had a dream in
which he was warned that his son would be killed by a lion. Afraid the
dream should prove true, he built for his son a pleasant palace and
adorned its walls for his amusement with all kinds of life-sized
animals, among which was the picture of a lion. When the young Prince
saw this, his grief at being thus confined burst out afresh, and,
standing near the lion, he said: “O you most detestable of animals!
through a lying dream of my father’s, which he saw in his sleep, I am
shut up on your account in this palace as if I had been a girl: what
shall I now do to you?” With these words he stretched out his hands
toward a thorn-tree, meaning to cut a stick from its branches so that
he might beat the lion. But one of the tree’s prickles pierced his
finger and caused great pain and inflammation, so that the young Prince
fell down in a fainting fit. A violent fever suddenly set in, from
which he died not many days later.

We had better bear our troubles bravely than try to escape them.

The Cat and Venus

A CAT fell in love with a handsome young man, and entreated Venus to
change her into the form of a woman. Venus consented to her request and
transformed her into a beautiful damsel, so that the youth saw her and
loved her, and took her home as his bride. While the two were reclining
in their chamber, Venus wishing to discover if the Cat in her change of
shape had also altered her habits of life, let down a mouse in the
middle of the room. The Cat, quite forgetting her present condition,
started up from the couch and pursued the mouse, wishing to eat it.
Venus was much disappointed and again caused her to return to her
former shape.

Nature exceeds nurture.

The Eagle and the Beetle

THE EAGLE and the Beetle were at enmity together, and they destroyed
one another’s nests. The Eagle gave the first provocation in seizing
upon and in eating the young ones of the Beetle. The Beetle got by
stealth at the Eagle’s eggs, and rolled them out of the nest, and
followed the Eagle even into the presence of Jupiter. On the Eagle
making his complaint, Jupiter ordered him to make his nest in his lap;
and while Jupiter had the eggs in his lap, the Beetle came flying about
him, and Jupiter rising up unawares, to drive him away from his head,
threw down the eggs, and broke them.

The weak often revenge themselves on those who use them ill, even
though they be more powerful.

The She-Goats and Their Beards

THE SHE-GOATS having obtained a beard by request to Jupiter, the
He-Goats were sorely displeased and made complaint that the females
equaled them in dignity. “Allow them,” said Jupiter, “to enjoy an empty
honour and to assume the badge of your nobler sex, so long as they are
not your equals in strength or courage.”

It matters little if those who are inferior to us in merit should be
like us in outside appearances.

The Bald Man and the Fly

A FLY bit the bare head of a Bald Man who, endeavoring to destroy it,
gave himself a heavy slap. Escaping, the Fly said mockingly, “You who
have wished to revenge, even with death, the Prick of a tiny insect,
see what you have done to yourself to add insult to injury?” The Bald
Man replied, “I can easily make peace with myself, because I know there
was no intention to hurt. But you, an ill-favoured and contemptible
insect who delights in sucking human blood, I wish that I could have
killed you even if I had incurred a heavier penalty.”

The Shipwrecked Man and the Sea

A SHIPWRECKED MAN, having been cast upon a certain shore, slept after
his buffetings with the deep. After a while he awoke, and looking upon
the Sea, loaded it with reproaches. He argued that it enticed men with
the calmness of its looks, but when it had induced them to plow its
waters, it grew rough and destroyed them. The Sea, assuming the form of
a woman, replied to him: “Blame not me, my good sir, but the winds, for
I am by my own nature as calm and firm even as this earth; but the
winds suddenly falling on me create these waves, and lash me into
fury.”

The Buffoon and the Countryman

A RICH NOBLEMAN once opened the theaters without charge to the people,
and gave a public notice that he would handsomely reward any person who
invented a new amusement for the occasion. Various public performers
contended for the prize. Among them came a Buffoon well known among the
populace for his jokes, and said that he had a kind of entertainment
which had never been brought out on any stage before. This report being
spread about made a great stir, and the theater was crowded in every
part. The Buffoon appeared alone upon the platform, without any
apparatus or confederates, and the very sense of expectation caused an
intense silence. He suddenly bent his head towards his bosom and
imitated the squeaking of a little pig so admirably with his voice that
the audience declared he had a porker under his cloak, and demanded
that it should be shaken out. When that was done and nothing was found,
they cheered the actor, and loaded him with the loudest applause. A
Countryman in the crowd, observing all that has passed, said, “So help
me, Hercules, he shall not beat me at that trick!” and at once
proclaimed that he would do the same thing on the next day, though in a
much more natural way. On the morrow a still larger crowd assembled in
the theater, but now partiality for their favourite actor very
generally prevailed, and the audience came rather to ridicule the
Countryman than to see the spectacle. Both of the performers appeared
on the stage. The Buffoon grunted and squeaked away first, and
obtained, as on the preceding day, the applause and cheers of the
spectators. Next the Countryman commenced, and pretending that he
concealed a little pig beneath his clothes (which in truth he did, but
not suspected by the audience ) contrived to take hold of and to pull
his ear causing the pig to squeak. The Crowd, however, cried out with
one consent that the Buffoon had given a far more exact imitation, and
clamored for the Countryman to be kicked out of the theater. On this
the rustic produced the little pig from his cloak and showed by the
most positive proof the greatness of their mistake. “Look here,” he
said, “this shows what sort of judges you are.”

The Crow and the Serpent

A CROW in great want of food saw a Serpent asleep in a sunny nook, and
flying down, greedily seized him. The Serpent, turning about, bit the
Crow with a mortal wound. In the agony of death, the bird exclaimed: “O
unhappy me! who have found in that which I deemed a happy windfall the
source of my destruction.”

The Hunter and the Horseman

A CERTAIN HUNTER, having snared a hare, placed it upon his shoulders
and set out homewards. On his way he met a man on horseback who begged
the hare of him, under the pretense of purchasing it. However, when the
Horseman got the hare, he rode off as fast as he could. The Hunter ran
after him, as if he was sure of overtaking him, but the Horseman
increased more and more the distance between them. The Hunter, sorely
against his will, called out to him and said, “Get along with you! for
I will now make you a present of the hare.”

The Olive-Tree and the Fig-Tree

THE OLIVE-TREE ridiculed the Fig-Tree because, while she was green all
the year round, the Fig-Tree changed its leaves with the seasons. A
shower of snow fell upon them, and, finding the Olive full of foliage,
it settled upon its branches and broke them down with its weight, at
once despoiling it of its beauty and killing the tree. But finding the
Fig-Tree denuded of leaves, the snow fell through to the ground, and
did not injure it at all.

The Frogs’ Complaint Against the Sun

ONCE UPON A TIME, when the Sun announced his intention to take a wife,
the Frogs lifted up their voices in clamor to the sky. Jupiter,
disturbed by the noise of their croaking, inquired the cause of their
complaint. One of them said, “The Sun, now while he is single, parches
up the marsh, and compels us to die miserably in our arid homes. What
will be our future condition if he should beget other suns?”

The Brazier and His Dog

A BRAZIER had a little Dog, which was a great favourite with his
master, and his constant companion. While he hammered away at his
metals the Dog slept; but when, on the other hand, he went to dinner
and began to eat, the Dog woke up and wagged his tail, as if he would
ask for a share of his meal. His master one day, pretending to be angry
and shaking his stick at him, said, “You wretched little sluggard! what
shall I do to you? While I am hammering on the anvil, you sleep on the
mat; and when I begin to eat after my toil, you wake up and wag your
tail for food. Do you not know that labor is the source of every
blessing, and that none but those who work are entitled to eat?”

FOOTNOTES

1 (return)
[ A History of the Literature of Ancient Greece, by K. O. Mueller. Vol.
i, p. 191. _London_, Parker, 1858.]

2 (return)
[ Select Fables of Æsop, and other Fabulists. In three books,
translated by Robert Dodsley, accompanied with a selection of notes,
and an Essay on Fable. _Birmingham_, 1864. P. 60.]

3 (return)
[ Some of these fables had, no doubt, in the first instance, a primary
and private interpretation. On the first occasion of their being
composed they were intended to refer to some passing event, or to some
individual acts of wrong-doing. Thus, the fables of the “Eagle and the
Fox” and of the “Fox and Monkey” are supposed to have been written by
Archilochus, to avenge the injuries done him by Lycambes. So also the
fables of the “Swollen Fox” and of the “Frogs asking a King” were
spoken by Æsop for the immediate purpose of reconciling the inhabitants
of Samos and Athens to their respective rulers, Periander and
Pisistratus; while the fable of the “Horse and Stag” was composed to
caution the inhabitants of Himera against granting a bodyguard to
Phalaris. In a similar manner, the fable from Phædrus, the “Marriage of
the Sun,” is supposed to have reference to the contemplated union of
Livia, the daughter of Drusus, with Sejanus the favourite, and minister
of Trajan. These fables, however, though thus originating in special
events, and designed at first to meet special circumstances, are so
admirably constructed as to be fraught with lessons of general utility,
and of universal application.]

4 (return)
[ Hesiod. Opera et Dies, verse 202.]

5 (return)
[ Æschylus. Fragment of the Myrmidons. Æschylus speaks of this fable as
existing before his day. ὡς δ’ ἐστὶ μύθων τῶν Διβυστικῶν λογος. See
Scholiast on the Aves of Aristophanes, line 808.]

6 (return)
[ Fragment. 38, ed. Gaisford. See also Mueller’s History of the
Literature of Ancient Greece, vol. i. pp. 190–193.]

7 (return)
[ M. Bayle has well put this in his account of Æsop. “Il n’y a point
d’apparence que les fables qui portent aujourd’hui son nom soient les
mêmes qu’il avait faites; elles viennent bien de lui pour la plupart,
quant à la matière et la pensée; mais les paroles sont d’un autre.” And
again, “C’est donc à Hésiode, que j’aimerais mieux attribuer la gloire
de l’invention; mais sans doute il laissa la chose très imparfaite.
Esope la perfectionne si heureusement, qu’on l’a regarde comme le vrai
père de cette sorte de production.”—_Bayle. Dictionnaire Historique_.]

8 (return)
[ Plato in Phædone.]

9 (return)
[ Apologos en! misit tibi
Ab usque Rheni limite
Ausonius nomen Italum
Præceptor Augusti tui
Æsopiam trimetriam;
Quam vertit exili stylo
Pedestre concinnans opus
Fandi Titianus artifex.

_Ausonii Epistola_, xvi. 75–80.]

10 (return)
[ Both these publications are in the British Museum, and are placed in
the library in cases under glass, for the inspection of the curious.]

11 (return)
[ Fables may possibly have been not entirely unknown to the mediæval
scholars. There are two celebrated works which might by some be classed
amongst works of this description. The one is the “Speculum Sapientiæ,”
attributed to St. Cyril, Archbishop of Jerusalem, but of a considerably
later origin, and existing only in Latin. It is divided into four
books, and consists of long conversations conducted by fictitious
characters under the figures the beasts of the field and forest, and
aimed at the rebuke of particular classes of men, the boastful, the
proud, the luxurious, the wrathful, &c. None of the stories are
precisely those of Æsop, and none have the concinnity, terseness, and
unmistakable deduction of the lesson intended to be taught by the
fable, so conspicuous in the great Greek fabulist. The exact title of
the book is this: “Speculum Sapientiæ, B. Cyrilli Episcopi: alias
quadripartitus apologeticus vocatus, in cujus quidem proverbiis omnis
et totius sapientiæ speculum claret et feliciter incipit.” The other is
a larger work in two volumes, published in the fourteenth century by
Cæsar Heisterbach, a Cistercian monk, under the title of “Dialogus
Miraculorum,” reprinted in 1851. This work consists of conversations in
which many stories are interwoven on all kinds of subjects. It has no
correspondence with the pure Æsopian fable.]

12 (return)
[ Post-mediæval Preachers, by S. Baring-Gould. Rivingtons, 1865.]

13 (return)
[ For an account of this work see the Life of Poggio Bracciolini, by
the Rev. William Shepherd. Liverpool, 1801.]

14 (return)
[ Professor Theodore Bergh. See Classical Museum, No. viii. July,
1849.]

15 (return)
[ Vavassor’s treatise, entitled “De Ludicrâ Dictione” was written A.D.
1658, at the request of the celebrated M. Balzac (though published
after his death), for the purpose of showing that the burlesque style
of writing adopted by Scarron and D’Assouci, and at that time so
popular in France, had no sanction from the ancient classic writers.
_Francisci Vavassoris opera omnia_. Amsterdam. 1709.]

16 (return)
[ The claims of Babrias also found a warm advocate in the learned
Frenchman, M. Bayle, who, in his admirable Dictionary, (_Dictionnaire
Historique et Critique de Pierre Bayle_. Paris, 1820,) gives additional
arguments in confirmation of the opinions of his learned predecessors,
Nevelet and Vavassor.]

17 (return)
[ Scazonic, or halting, iambics; a choliambic (a lame, halting iambic)
differs from the iambic Senarius in always having a spondee or trochee
for its last foot; the fifth foot, to avoid shortness of metre, being
generally an iambic. See Fables of Babrias, translated by Rev. James
Davies. Lockwood, 1860. Preface, p. 27.]

18 (return)
[ See Dr. Bentley’s Dissertations upon the Epistles of Phalaris.]

19 (return)
[ Dr. Bentley’s Dissertations on the Epistles of Phalaris, and Fables
of Æsop examined. By the Honourable Charles Boyle.]

20 (return)
[ M. Bayle thus characterises this Life of Æsop by Planudes, “Tous les
habiles gens conviennent que c’est un roman, et que les absurdités
grossières qui l’on y trouve le rendent indigne de toute créance.”
_Dictionnaire Historique_. Art. _Esope_.]

INDEX

Æthiop
The Ant and the Dove
The Ants and the Grasshopper
The Apes and the Two Travelers
The Ass and the Charger
The Ass and His Driver
The Ass and the Frogs
The Ass and the Grasshopper
The Ass and his Masters
The Ass and his Purchaser
The Ass and his Shadow
The Ass and the Horse
The Ass and the Lapdog
The Ass and the Mule
The Ass and the Old Shepherd
The Ass and the Wolf
The Ass Carrying the Image
The Ass, the Cock, and the Lion
The Ass in the Lion’s Skin
The Ass, the Fox, and the Lion
The Astronomer

The Bald Man and the Fly
The Bald Knight
The Bat And The Weasels
The Bear and the Fox
The Bear and the Two Travelers
The Bee and Jupiter
The Belly and the Members
The Birdcatcher, the Partridge, and the Cock
The Birds, the Beasts, and the Bat
The Bitch and her Whelps
The Blind Man and the Whelp
The Boasting Traveler
The Bowman and Lion
The Boy and the Filberts
The Boy and the Nettles
The Boy Bathing
The Boy hunting Locusts
The Boys and the Frogs
The Brazier and His Dog
The Brother and the Sister
The Buffoon and the Countryman
The Bull and the Calf
The Bull and the Goat
The Bull, the Lioness, and the Wild-Boar Hunter

The Camel
The Camel and the Arab
The Camel and Jupiter
The Cat and the Birds
The Cat and the Cock
The Cat and the Mice
The Cat and Venus
The Cobbler Turned Doctor
The Cock and the Jewel
The Charcoal-Burner and the Fuller
The Charger and the Miller
The Crab and the Fox
The Crab and its Mother
The Crow and Mercury
The Crow and the Pitcher
The Crow and the Raven
The Crow and the Serpent
The Crow and the Sheep

The Dancing Monkeys
The Doe and the Lion
The Dog and the Cook
The Dog and the Hare
The Dog and the Oyster
The Dog and the Shadow
The Dog, the Cock, and the Fox
The Dog in the Manger
The Dogs and the Fox
The Dogs and the Hides
The Dog’s House
The Dolphins, the Whales, and the Sprat
The Dove and the Crow

The Eagle and the Arrow
The Eagle and the Beetle
The Eagle and His Captor
The Eagle and the Fox
The Eagle and the Jackdaw
The Eagle and the Kite
The Eagle, the Cat, and the Wild Sow

The Farmer and the Cranes
The Farmer and the Fox
The Farmer and the Snake
The Farmer and His Sons
The Farmer and the Stork
The Father And His Sons
The Father and His Two Daughters
The Fawn and His Mother
The Fighting Cocks and the Eagle
The Fir-Tree and the Bramble
The Fisherman and His Nets
The Fisherman and the Little Fish
The Fisherman Piping
The Fishermen
The Flea and the Man
The Flea and the Ox
The Flea and the Wrestler
The Flies and the Honey-Pot
The Fly and the Draught-Mule
The Fowler and the Viper
The Fox and the Bramble
The Fox and the Crane
The Fox and the Crow
The Fox and the Goat
The Fox and the Grapes
The Fox and the Hedgehog
The Fox and the Leopard
The Fox and the Lion
The Fox and the Lion
The Fox and the Mask
The Fox and the Monkey
The Fox and the Monkey
The Fox and the Woodcutter
The Fox Who Had Lost His Tail
The Frogs Asking for a King
The Frogs’ Complaint Against the Sun

The Gamecocks and the Partridge
The Geese and the Cranes
The Gnat and the Bull
The Gnat and the Lion
The Goat and the Ass
The Goat and the Goatherd
The Goatherd and the Wild Goats
The Goods and the Ills
The Grasshopper and the Owl

The Hare and the Hound
The Hare and the Tortoise
The Hares and the Foxes
The Hares and the Frogs
The Hares and the Lions
The Hart and the Vine
The Hawk and the Nightingale
The Hawk, the Kite, and the Pigeons
The Heifer and the Ox
The Hen and the Golden Eggs
The Hen and the Swallow
Hercules and the Wagoner
The Herdsman and the Lost Bull
The Horse and the Ass
The Horse and Groom
The Horse and his Rider
The Horse and the Stag
The Hunter and the Horseman
The Hunter and the Woodman
The Huntsman and the Fisherman

The Image of Mercury and the Carpenter

The Jackdaw and the Doves
The Jackdaw and the Fox
Jupiter and the Monkey
Jupiter, Neptune, Minerva, and Momus

The Kid and the Wolf
The Kid and the Wolf
The Kingdom of the Lion
The King’s Son and the Painted Lion
The Kites and the Swans

The Laborer and the Snake
The Lamb and the Wolf
The Lamp
The Lark and Her Young Ones
The Lark Burying Her Father
The Lion and the Boar
The Lion and the Bull
The Lion and the Dolphin
The Lion and the Eagle
The Lion and the Fox
The Lion and the Hare
The Lion and the Mouse
The Lion and the Shepherd
The Lion and the Three Bulls
The Lion, the Bear, and the Fox
The Lion, the Fox, and the Ass
The Lion in a Farmyard
The Lion in Love
The Lion, Jupiter, and the Elephant
The Lion, the Mouse, and the Fox
The Lion, the Wolf, and the Fox
The Lioness

The Man and His Two Sweethearts
The Man and His Wife
The Man and the Lion
The Man and the Satyr
The Man bitten by a Dog
The Man, the Horse, the Ox, and the Dog
The Manslayer
The Master and His Dogs
Mercury and the Sculptor
Mercury and the Workmen
The Mice and the Weasels
The Mice in Council
The Milk-Woman and her Pail
The Miller, His Son, and their Ass
The Mischievous Dog
The Miser
The Mole and His Mother
The Monkey and the Camel
The Monkey and the Dolphin
The Monkey and the Fishermen
The Monkeys and their Mother
The Mother and the Wolf
The Mountain in Labor
The Mouse and the Bull
The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk
The Mule
The Mules and the Robbers

The North Wind and the Sun

The Oak and the Reeds
The Oak and the Woodcutters
The Oaks and Jupiter
The Old Hound
The Old Lion
The Old Man and Death
The Old Woman and the Physician
The Old Woman and the Wine-Jar
The Olive-Tree and the Fig-Tree
The One-Eyed Doe
The Owl and the Birds
The Ox and the Frog
The Oxen and the Axle-Trees
The Oxen and the Butchers

The Panther and the Shepherds
The Partridge and the Fowler
The Peacock and the Crane
The Peacock and Juno
The Peasant and the Apple-Tree
The Peasant and the Eagle
The Philosopher, the Ants, and Mercury
The Playful Ass
The Pomegranate, Apple-Tree, and Bramble
The Porker, the Sheep, and the Goat
The Prophet

The Quack Frog

The Raven and the Swan
The Rich Man and the Tanner
The Rivers and the Sea
The Rose and the Amaranth

The Salt Merchant and his Ass
The Seagull and the Kite
The Seaside Travelers
The Seller of Images
The Serpent and the Eagle
The She-Goats and their Beards
The Shepherd and the Dog
The Shepherd and the Sea
The Shepherd and the Sheep
The Shepherd and the Wolf
The Shepherd’s Boy and the Wolf
The Shipwrecked Man and the Sea
The Sick Kite
The Sick Lion
The Sick Stag
The Sparrow and the Hare
The Spendthrift and the Swallow
The Stag at the Pool
The Stag in the Ox-Stall
The Stag, the Wolf, and the Sheep
The Swallow and the Crow
The Swallow, the Serpent, and the Court of Justice
The Swan and the Goose
The Swollen Fox

The Thief and his Mother
The Thief and the Housedog
The Thief and the Innkeeper
The Thieves and the Cock
The Thirsty Pigeon
The Three Tradesmen
The Thrush and the Fowler
The Tortoise and the Eagle
The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse
The Traveler and Fortune
The Traveler and his Dog
The Travelers and the Plane-Tree
The Trees and the Axe
The Trees Under the Protection of the Gods
The Trumpeter Taken Prisoner
Truth and the Traveler
The Two Bags
The Two Dogs
The Two Frogs
The Two Frogs
The Two Men Who Were Enemies
The Two Pots
The Two Soldiers and the Robber
The Two Travelers and the Axe

The Vain Jackdaw
The Vine and the Goat
The Viper and the File

The Walnut-Tree
The Wasp and the Snake
The Wasps, the Partridges, and the Farmer
The Weasel and the Mice
The Widow and Her Little Maidens
The Widow and the Sheep
The Wild Ass and the Lion
The Wild Boar and the Fox
The Wolf and the Crane
The Wolf and the Fox
The Wolf and the Goat
The Wolf and the Horse
The Wolf and the Housedog
The Wolf and the Lamb
The Wolf and the Lion
The Wolf and the Lion
The Wolf and the Sheep
The Wolf and the Shepherd
The Wolf and the Shepherds
The Wolf, the Fox, and the Ape
The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
The Wolves and the Sheep
The Wolves and the Sheepdogs
The Woman and her Hen

[Illustration]

THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS

And What Alice Found There

By Lewis Carroll

The Millennium Fulcrum Edition 1.7

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
(_As arranged before commencement of game._)

WHITE RED.
PIECES. PAWNS. PAWNS. PIECES.
Tweedledee. Daisy. Daisy. Humpty Dumpty.
Unicorn. Haigha. Messenger. Carpenter.
Sheep. Oyster. Oyster. Walrus.
W. Queen. “Lily.” Tiger-lily. R. Queen.
W. King. Fawn. Rose. R. King.
Aged man. Oyster. Oyster. Crow.
W. Knight. Hatta. Frog. R. Knight.
Tweedledum. Daisy. Daisy. Lion.

_RED._

[Illustration: chessboard]

_WHITE._

White Pawn (Alice) to play, and win in eleven moves.

1. Alice meets R. Q.
1. R. Q. to K. R.’s 4th
2. Alice through Q.’s 3d (_by railway_) to 4th (_Tweedledum and Tweedledee_)
2. W. Q. to Q. B.’s 4th (_after shawl_)
3. Alice meets W. Q. (_with shawl_)
3. W. Q. to Q.B.’s 5th (_becomes sheep_)
4. Alice to Q.’s 5th (_shop, river, shop_)
4. W. Q. to K. B.’s 8th (_leaves egg on shelf_)
5. Alice to Q.’s 6th (_Humpty Dumpty_)
5. W. Q. to Q. B.’s 8th (_flying from R. Kt._)
6. Alice to Q.’s 7th (_forest_)
6. R. Kt. to K.’s 2nd (ch.)
7. W.Kt. takes R.Kt.
7. W. Kt. to K. B’s 5th
8. Alice to Q.’s 8th (_coronation_)
8. R. Q. to K.’s sq. (_examination_)
9. Alice becomes Queen
9. Queens castle
10. Alice castles (_feast_)
10. W.Q. to Q.R.’s 6th (_soup_)
11. Alice takes R.Q. & wins

Child of the pure unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a life asunder,
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy-tale.

I have not seen thy sunny face,
Nor heard thy silver laughter;
No thought of me shall find a place
In thy young life’s hereafter—
Enough that now thou wilt not fail
To listen to my fairy-tale.

A tale begun in other days,
When summer suns were glowing—
A simple chime, that served to time
The rhythm of our rowing—
Whose echoes live in memory yet,
Though envious years would say ‘forget.’

Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread,
With bitter tidings laden,
Shall summon to unwelcome bed
A melancholy maiden!
We are but older children, dear,
Who fret to find our bedtime near.

Without, the frost, the blinding snow,
The storm-wind’s moody madness—
Within, the firelight’s ruddy glow,
And childhood’s nest of gladness.
The magic words shall hold thee fast:
Thou shalt not heed the raving blast.

And though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story,
For ‘happy summer days’ gone by,
And vanish’d summer glory—
It shall not touch with breath of bale
The pleasance of our fairy-tale.

Contents

CHAPTER I. Looking-Glass house
CHAPTER II. The Garden of Live Flowers
CHAPTER III. Looking-Glass Insects
CHAPTER IV. Tweedledum And Tweedledee
CHAPTER V. Wool and Water
CHAPTER VI. Humpty Dumpty
CHAPTER VII. The Lion and the Unicorn
CHAPTER VIII. “It’s my own Invention”
CHAPTER IX. Queen Alice
CHAPTER X. Shaking
CHAPTER XI. Waking
CHAPTER XII. Which Dreamed it?

CHAPTER I.
Looking-Glass house

One thing was certain, that the _white_ kitten had had nothing to do
with it:—it was the black kitten’s fault entirely. For the white kitten
had been having its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of
an hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering); so you see that it
_couldn’t_ have had any hand in the mischief.

The way Dinah washed her children’s faces was this: first she held the
poor thing down by its ear with one paw, and then with the other paw
she rubbed its face all over, the wrong way, beginning at the nose: and
just now, as I said, she was hard at work on the white kitten, which
was lying quite still and trying to purr—no doubt feeling that it was
all meant for its good.

But the black kitten had been finished with earlier in the afternoon,
and so, while Alice was sitting curled up in a corner of the great
arm-chair, half talking to herself and half asleep, the kitten had been
having a grand game of romps with the ball of worsted Alice had been
trying to wind up, and had been rolling it up and down till it had all
come undone again; and there it was, spread over the hearth-rug, all
knots and tangles, with the kitten running after its own tail in the
middle.

“Oh, you wicked little thing!” cried Alice, catching up the kitten, and
giving it a little kiss to make it understand that it was in disgrace.
“Really, Dinah ought to have taught you better manners! You _ought_,
Dinah, you know you ought!” she added, looking reproachfully at the old
cat, and speaking in as cross a voice as she could manage—and then she
scrambled back into the arm-chair, taking the kitten and the worsted
with her, and began winding up the ball again. But she didn’t get on
very fast, as she was talking all the time, sometimes to the kitten,
and sometimes to herself. Kitty sat very demurely on her knee,
pretending to watch the progress of the winding, and now and then
putting out one paw and gently touching the ball, as if it would be
glad to help, if it might.

“Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty?” Alice began. “You’d have
guessed if you’d been up in the window with me—only Dinah was making
you tidy, so you couldn’t. I was watching the boys getting in sticks
for the bonfire—and it wants plenty of sticks, Kitty! Only it got so
cold, and it snowed so, they had to leave off. Never mind, Kitty, we’ll
go and see the bonfire to-morrow.” Here Alice wound two or three turns
of the worsted round the kitten’s neck, just to see how it would look:
this led to a scramble, in which the ball rolled down upon the floor,
and yards and yards of it got unwound again.

“Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,” Alice went on as soon as they
were comfortably settled again, “when I saw all the mischief you had
been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out
into the snow! And you’d have deserved it, you little mischievous
darling! What have you got to say for yourself? Now don’t interrupt
me!” she went on, holding up one finger. “I’m going to tell you all
your faults. Number one: you squeaked twice while Dinah was washing
your face this morning. Now you can’t deny it, Kitty: I heard you!
What’s that you say?” (pretending that the kitten was speaking.) “Her
paw went into your eye? Well, that’s _your_ fault, for keeping your
eyes open—if you’d shut them tight up, it wouldn’t have happened. Now
don’t make any more excuses, but listen! Number two: you pulled
Snowdrop away by the tail just as I had put down the saucer of milk
before her! What, you were thirsty, were you? How do you know she
wasn’t thirsty too? Now for number three: you unwound every bit of the
worsted while I wasn’t looking!

“That’s three faults, Kitty, and you’ve not been punished for any of
them yet. You know I’m saving up all your punishments for Wednesday
week—Suppose they had saved up all _my_ punishments!” she went on,
talking more to herself than the kitten. “What _would_ they do at the
end of a year? I should be sent to prison, I suppose, when the day
came. Or—let me see—suppose each punishment was to be going without a
dinner: then, when the miserable day came, I should have to go without
fifty dinners at once! Well, I shouldn’t mind _that_ much! I’d far
rather go without them than eat them!

“Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, Kitty? How nice and
soft it sounds! Just as if some one was kissing the window all over
outside. I wonder if the snow _loves_ the trees and fields, that it
kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with
a white quilt; and perhaps it says, ‘Go to sleep, darlings, till the
summer comes again.’ And when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they
dress themselves all in green, and dance about—whenever the wind
blows—oh, that’s very pretty!” cried Alice, dropping the ball of
worsted to clap her hands. “And I do so _wish_ it was true! I’m sure
the woods look sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves are getting brown.

“Kitty, can you play chess? Now, don’t smile, my dear, I’m asking it
seriously. Because, when we were playing just now, you watched just as
if you understood it: and when I said ‘Check!’ you purred! Well, it
_was_ a nice check, Kitty, and really I might have won, if it hadn’t
been for that nasty Knight, that came wiggling down among my pieces.
Kitty, dear, let’s pretend—” And here I wish I could tell you half the
things Alice used to say, beginning with her favourite phrase “Let’s
pretend.” She had had quite a long argument with her sister only the
day before—all because Alice had begun with “Let’s pretend we’re kings
and queens;” and her sister, who liked being very exact, had argued
that they couldn’t, because there were only two of them, and Alice had
been reduced at last to say, “Well, _you_ can be one of them then, and
_I’ll_ be all the rest.” And once she had really frightened her old
nurse by shouting suddenly in her ear, “Nurse! Do let’s pretend that
I’m a hungry hyaena, and you’re a bone.”

But this is taking us away from Alice’s speech to the kitten. “Let’s
pretend that you’re the Red Queen, Kitty! Do you know, I think if you
sat up and folded your arms, you’d look exactly like her. Now do try,
there’s a dear!” And Alice got the Red Queen off the table, and set it
up before the kitten as a model for it to imitate: however, the thing
didn’t succeed, principally, Alice said, because the kitten wouldn’t
fold its arms properly. So, to punish it, she held it up to the
Looking-glass, that it might see how sulky it was—“and if you’re not
good directly,” she added, “I’ll put you through into Looking-glass
House. How would you like _that_?”

“Now, if you’ll only attend, Kitty, and not talk so much, I’ll tell you
all my ideas about Looking-glass House. First, there’s the room you can
see through the glass—that’s just the same as our drawing room, only
the things go the other way. I can see all of it when I get upon a
chair—all but the bit behind the fireplace. Oh! I do so wish I could
see _that_ bit! I want so much to know whether they’ve a fire in the
winter: you never _can_ tell, you know, unless our fire smokes, and
then smoke comes up in that room too—but that may be only pretence,
just to make it look as if they had a fire. Well then, the books are
something like our books, only the words go the wrong way; I know that,
because I’ve held up one of our books to the glass, and then they hold
up one in the other room.

“How would you like to live in Looking-glass House, Kitty? I wonder if
they’d give you milk in there? Perhaps Looking-glass milk isn’t good to
drink—But oh, Kitty! now we come to the passage. You can just see a
little _peep_ of the passage in Looking-glass House, if you leave the
door of our drawing-room wide open: and it’s very like our passage as
far as you can see, only you know it may be quite different on beyond.
Oh, Kitty! how nice it would be if we could only get through into
Looking-glass House! I’m sure it’s got, oh! such beautiful things in
it! Let’s pretend there’s a way of getting through into it, somehow,
Kitty. Let’s pretend the glass has got all soft like gauze, so that we
can get through. Why, it’s turning into a sort of mist now, I declare!
It’ll be easy enough to get through—” She was up on the chimney-piece
while she said this, though she hardly knew how she had got there. And
certainly the glass _was_ beginning to melt away, just like a bright
silvery mist.

In another moment Alice was through the glass, and had jumped lightly
down into the Looking-glass room. The very first thing she did was to
look whether there was a fire in the fireplace, and she was quite
pleased to find that there was a real one, blazing away as brightly as
the one she had left behind. “So I shall be as warm here as I was in
the old room,” thought Alice: “warmer, in fact, because there’ll be no
one here to scold me away from the fire. Oh, what fun it’ll be, when
they see me through the glass in here, and can’t get at me!”

Then she began looking about, and noticed that what could be seen from
the old room was quite common and uninteresting, but that all the rest
was as different as possible. For instance, the pictures on the wall
next the fire seemed to be all alive, and the very clock on the
chimney-piece (you know you can only see the back of it in the
Looking-glass) had got the face of a little old man, and grinned at
her.

“They don’t keep this room so tidy as the other,” Alice thought to
herself, as she noticed several of the chessmen down in the hearth
among the cinders: but in another moment, with a little “Oh!” of
surprise, she was down on her hands and knees watching them. The
chessmen were walking about, two and two!

“Here are the Red King and the Red Queen,” Alice said (in a whisper,
for fear of frightening them), “and there are the White King and the
White Queen sitting on the edge of the shovel—and here are two castles
walking arm in arm—I don’t think they can hear me,” she went on, as she
put her head closer down, “and I’m nearly sure they can’t see me. I
feel somehow as if I were invisible—”

Here something began squeaking on the table behind Alice, and made her
turn her head just in time to see one of the White Pawns roll over and
begin kicking: she watched it with great curiosity to see what would
happen next.

“It is the voice of my child!” the White Queen cried out as she rushed
past the King, so violently that she knocked him over among the
cinders. “My precious Lily! My imperial kitten!” and she began
scrambling wildly up the side of the fender.

“Imperial fiddlestick!” said the King, rubbing his nose, which had been
hurt by the fall. He had a right to be a _little_ annoyed with the
Queen, for he was covered with ashes from head to foot.

Alice was very anxious to be of use, and, as the poor little Lily was
nearly screaming herself into a fit, she hastily picked up the Queen
and set her on the table by the side of her noisy little daughter.

The Queen gasped, and sat down: the rapid journey through the air had
quite taken away her breath and for a minute or two she could do
nothing but hug the little Lily in silence. As soon as she had
recovered her breath a little, she called out to the White King, who
was sitting sulkily among the ashes, “Mind the volcano!”

“What volcano?” said the King, looking up anxiously into the fire, as
if he thought that was the most likely place to find one.

“Blew—me—up,” panted the Queen, who was still a little out of breath.
“Mind you come up—the regular way—don’t get blown up!”

Alice watched the White King as he slowly struggled up from bar to bar,
till at last she said, “Why, you’ll be hours and hours getting to the
table, at that rate. I’d far better help you, hadn’t I?” But the King
took no notice of the question: it was quite clear that he could
neither hear her nor see her.

So Alice picked him up very gently, and lifted him across more slowly
than she had lifted the Queen, that she mightn’t take his breath away:
but, before she put him on the table, she thought she might as well
dust him a little, he was so covered with ashes.

She said afterwards that she had never seen in all her life such a face
as the King made, when he found himself held in the air by an invisible
hand, and being dusted: he was far too much astonished to cry out, but
his eyes and his mouth went on getting larger and larger, and rounder
and rounder, till her hand shook so with laughing that she nearly let
him drop upon the floor.

“Oh! _please_ don’t make such faces, my dear!” she cried out, quite
forgetting that the King couldn’t hear her. “You make me laugh so that
I can hardly hold you! And don’t keep your mouth so wide open! All the
ashes will get into it—there, now I think you’re tidy enough!” she
added, as she smoothed his hair, and set him upon the table near the
Queen.

The King immediately fell flat on his back, and lay perfectly still:
and Alice was a little alarmed at what she had done, and went round the
room to see if she could find any water to throw over him. However, she
could find nothing but a bottle of ink, and when she got back with it
she found he had recovered, and he and the Queen were talking together
in a frightened whisper—so low, that Alice could hardly hear what they
said.

The King was saying, “I assure you, my dear, I turned cold to the very
ends of my whiskers!”

To which the Queen replied, “You haven’t got any whiskers.”

“The horror of that moment,” the King went on, “I shall never, _never_
forget!”

“You will, though,” the Queen said, “if you don’t make a memorandum of
it.”

Alice looked on with great interest as the King took an enormous
memorandum-book out of his pocket, and began writing. A sudden thought
struck her, and she took hold of the end of the pencil, which came some
way over his shoulder, and began writing for him.

The poor King looked puzzled and unhappy, and struggled with the pencil
for some time without saying anything; but Alice was too strong for
him, and at last he panted out, “My dear! I really _must_ get a thinner
pencil. I can’t manage this one a bit; it writes all manner of things
that I don’t intend—”

“What manner of things?” said the Queen, looking over the book (in
which Alice had put “_The White Knight is sliding down the poker. He
balances very badly_”) “That’s not a memorandum of _your_ feelings!”

There was a book lying near Alice on the table, and while she sat
watching the White King (for she was still a little anxious about him,
and had the ink all ready to throw over him, in case he fainted again),
she turned over the leaves, to find some part that she could read,
“—for it’s all in some language I don’t know,” she said to herself.

It was like this.

.YKCOWREBBAJ

sevot yhtils eht dna, gillirb sawT’
ebaw eht ni elbmig dna eryg diD
,sevogorob eht erew ysmim llA
.ebargtuo shtar emom eht dnA

She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a bright thought
struck her. “Why, it’s a Looking-glass book, of course! And if I hold
it up to a glass, the words will all go the right way again.”

This was the poem that Alice read.

JABBERWOCKY.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“It seems very pretty,” she said when she had finished it, “but it’s
_rather_ hard to understand!” (You see she didn’t like to confess, even
to herself, that she couldn’t make it out at all.) “Somehow it seems to
fill my head with ideas—only I don’t exactly know what they are!
However, _somebody_ killed _something_: that’s clear, at any rate—”

“But oh!” thought Alice, suddenly jumping up, “if I don’t make haste I
shall have to go back through the Looking-glass, before I’ve seen what
the rest of the house is like! Let’s have a look at the garden first!”
She was out of the room in a moment, and ran down stairs—or, at least,
it wasn’t exactly running, but a new invention of hers for getting down
stairs quickly and easily, as Alice said to herself. She just kept the
tips of her fingers on the hand-rail, and floated gently down without
even touching the stairs with her feet; then she floated on through the
hall, and would have gone straight out at the door in the same way, if
she hadn’t caught hold of the door-post. She was getting a little giddy
with so much floating in the air, and was rather glad to find herself
walking again in the natural way.

CHAPTER II.
The Garden of Live Flowers

“I should see the garden far better,” said Alice to herself, “if I
could get to the top of that hill: and here’s a path that leads
straight to it—at least, no, it doesn’t do that—” (after going a few
yards along the path, and turning several sharp corners), “but I
suppose it will at last. But how curiously it twists! It’s more like a
corkscrew than a path! Well, _this_ turn goes to the hill, I
suppose—no, it doesn’t! This goes straight back to the house! Well
then, I’ll try it the other way.”

And so she did: wandering up and down, and trying turn after turn, but
always coming back to the house, do what she would. Indeed, once, when
she turned a corner rather more quickly than usual, she ran against it
before she could stop herself.

“It’s no use talking about it,” Alice said, looking up at the house and
pretending it was arguing with her. “I’m _not_ going in again yet. I
know I should have to get through the Looking-glass again—back into the
old room—and there’d be an end of all my adventures!”

So, resolutely turning her back upon the house, she set out once more
down the path, determined to keep straight on till she got to the hill.
For a few minutes all went on well, and she was just saying, “I really
_shall_ do it this time—” when the path gave a sudden twist and shook
itself (as she described it afterwards), and the next moment she found
herself actually walking in at the door.

“Oh, it’s too bad!” she cried. “I never saw such a house for getting in
the way! Never!”

However, there was the hill full in sight, so there was nothing to be
done but start again. This time she came upon a large flower-bed, with
a border of daisies, and a willow-tree growing in the middle.

“O Tiger-lily,” said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving
gracefully about in the wind, “I _wish_ you could talk!”

“We _can_ talk,” said the Tiger-lily: “when there’s anybody worth
talking to.”

Alice was so astonished that she could not speak for a minute: it quite
seemed to take her breath away. At length, as the Tiger-lily only went
on waving about, she spoke again, in a timid voice—almost in a whisper.
“And can _all_ the flowers talk?”

“As well as _you_ can,” said the Tiger-lily. “And a great deal louder.”

“It isn’t manners for us to begin, you know,” said the Rose, “and I
really was wondering when you’d speak! Said I to myself, ‘Her face has
got _some_ sense in it, though it’s not a clever one!’ Still, you’re
the right colour, and that goes a long way.”

“I don’t care about the colour,” the Tiger-lily remarked. “If only her
petals curled up a little more, she’d be all right.”

Alice didn’t like being criticised, so she began asking questions.
“Aren’t you sometimes frightened at being planted out here, with nobody
to take care of you?”

“There’s the tree in the middle,” said the Rose: “what else is it good
for?”

“But what could it do, if any danger came?” Alice asked.

“It says ‘Bough-wough!’” cried a Daisy: “that’s why its branches are
called boughs!”

“Didn’t you know _that_?” cried another Daisy, and here they all began
shouting together, till the air seemed quite full of little shrill
voices. “Silence, every one of you!” cried the Tiger-lily, waving
itself passionately from side to side, and trembling with excitement.
“They know I can’t get at them!” it panted, bending its quivering head
towards Alice, “or they wouldn’t dare to do it!”

“Never mind!” Alice said in a soothing tone, and stooping down to the
daisies, who were just beginning again, she whispered, “If you don’t
hold your tongues, I’ll pick you!”

There was silence in a moment, and several of the pink daisies turned
white.

“That’s right!” said the Tiger-lily. “The daisies are worst of all.
When one speaks, they all begin together, and it’s enough to make one
wither to hear the way they go on!”

“How is it you can all talk so nicely?” Alice said, hoping to get it
into a better temper by a compliment. “I’ve been in many gardens
before, but none of the flowers could talk.”

“Put your hand down, and feel the ground,” said the Tiger-lily. “Then
you’ll know why.”

Alice did so. “It’s very hard,” she said, “but I don’t see what that
has to do with it.”

“In most gardens,” the Tiger-lily said, “they make the beds too soft—so
that the flowers are always asleep.”

This sounded a very good reason, and Alice was quite pleased to know
it. “I never thought of that before!” she said.

“It’s _my_ opinion that you never think _at all_,” the Rose said in a
rather severe tone.

“I never saw anybody that looked stupider,” a Violet said, so suddenly,
that Alice quite jumped; for it hadn’t spoken before.

“Hold _your_ tongue!” cried the Tiger-lily. “As if _you_ ever saw
anybody! You keep your head under the leaves, and snore away there,
till you know no more what’s going on in the world, than if you were a
bud!”

“Are there any more people in the garden besides me?” Alice said, not
choosing to notice the Rose’s last remark.

“There’s one other flower in the garden that can move about like you,”
said the Rose. “I wonder how you do it—” (“You’re always wondering,”
said the Tiger-lily), “but she’s more bushy than you are.”

“Is she like me?” Alice asked eagerly, for the thought crossed her
mind, “There’s another little girl in the garden, somewhere!”

“Well, she has the same awkward shape as you,” the Rose said, “but
she’s redder—and her petals are shorter, I think.”

“Her petals are done up close, almost like a dahlia,” the Tiger-lily
interrupted: “not tumbled about anyhow, like yours.”

“But that’s not _your_ fault,” the Rose added kindly: “you’re beginning
to fade, you know—and then one can’t help one’s petals getting a little
untidy.”

Alice didn’t like this idea at all: so, to change the subject, she
asked “Does she ever come out here?”

“I daresay you’ll see her soon,” said the Rose. “She’s one of the
thorny kind.”

“Where does she wear the thorns?” Alice asked with some curiosity.

“Why all round her head, of course,” the Rose replied. “I was wondering
_you_ hadn’t got some too. I thought it was the regular rule.”

“She’s coming!” cried the Larkspur. “I hear her footstep, thump, thump,
thump, along the gravel-walk!”

Alice looked round eagerly, and found that it was the Red Queen. “She’s
grown a good deal!” was her first remark. She had indeed: when Alice
first found her in the ashes, she had been only three inches high—and
here she was, half a head taller than Alice herself!

“It’s the fresh air that does it,” said the Rose: “wonderfully fine air
it is, out here.”

“I think I’ll go and meet her,” said Alice, for, though the flowers
were interesting enough, she felt that it would be far grander to have
a talk with a real Queen.

“You can’t possibly do that,” said the Rose: “_I_ should advise you to
walk the other way.”

This sounded nonsense to Alice, so she said nothing, but set off at
once towards the Red Queen. To her surprise, she lost sight of her in a
moment, and found herself walking in at the front-door again.

A little provoked, she drew back, and after looking everywhere for the
queen (whom she spied out at last, a long way off), she thought she
would try the plan, this time, of walking in the opposite direction.

It succeeded beautifully. She had not been walking a minute before she
found herself face to face with the Red Queen, and full in sight of the
hill she had been so long aiming at.

“Where do you come from?” said the Red Queen. “And where are you going?
Look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers all the time.”

Alice attended to all these directions, and explained, as well as she
could, that she had lost her way.

“I don’t know what you mean by _your_ way,” said the Queen: “all the
ways about here belong to _me_—but why did you come out here at all?”
she added in a kinder tone. “Curtsey while you’re thinking what to say,
it saves time.”

Alice wondered a little at this, but she was too much in awe of the
Queen to disbelieve it. “I’ll try it when I go home,” she thought to
herself, “the next time I’m a little late for dinner.”

“It’s time for you to answer now,” the Queen said, looking at her
watch: “open your mouth a _little_ wider when you speak, and always say
‘your Majesty.’”

“I only wanted to see what the garden was like, your Majesty—”

“That’s right,” said the Queen, patting her on the head, which Alice
didn’t like at all, “though, when you say ‘garden,’—_I’ve_ seen
gardens, compared with which this would be a wilderness.”

Alice didn’t dare to argue the point, but went on: “—and I thought I’d
try and find my way to the top of that hill—”

“When you say ‘hill,’” the Queen interrupted, “_I_ could show you
hills, in comparison with which you’d call that a valley.”

“No, I shouldn’t,” said Alice, surprised into contradicting her at
last: “a hill _can’t_ be a valley, you know. That would be nonsense—”

The Red Queen shook her head, “You may call it ‘nonsense’ if you like,”
she said, “but _I’ve_ heard nonsense, compared with which that would be
as sensible as a dictionary!”

Alice curtseyed again, as she was afraid from the Queen’s tone that she
was a _little_ offended: and they walked on in silence till they got to
the top of the little hill.

For some minutes Alice stood without speaking, looking out in all
directions over the country—and a most curious country it was. There
were a number of tiny little brooks running straight across it from
side to side, and the ground between was divided up into squares by a
number of little green hedges, that reached from brook to brook.

“I declare it’s marked out just like a large chessboard!” Alice said at
last. “There ought to be some men moving about somewhere—and so there
are!” She added in a tone of delight, and her heart began to beat quick
with excitement as she went on. “It’s a great huge game of chess that’s
being played—all over the world—if this _is_ the world at all, you
know. Oh, what fun it is! How I _wish_ I was one of them! I wouldn’t
mind being a Pawn, if only I might join—though of course I should
_like_ to be a Queen, best.”

She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen as she said this, but her
companion only smiled pleasantly, and said, “That’s easily managed. You
can be the White Queen’s Pawn, if you like, as Lily’s too young to
play; and you’re in the Second Square to begin with: when you get to
the Eighth Square you’ll be a Queen—” Just at this moment, somehow or
other, they began to run.

Alice never could quite make out, in thinking it over afterwards, how
it was that they began: all she remembers is, that they were running
hand in hand, and the Queen went so fast that it was all she could do
to keep up with her: and still the Queen kept crying “Faster! Faster!”
but Alice felt she _could not_ go faster, though she had not breath
left to say so.

The most curious part of the thing was, that the trees and the other
things round them never changed their places at all: however fast they
went, they never seemed to pass anything. “I wonder if all the things
move along with us?” thought poor puzzled Alice. And the Queen seemed
to guess her thoughts, for she cried, “Faster! Don’t try to talk!”

Not that Alice had any idea of doing _that_. She felt as if she would
never be able to talk again, she was getting so much out of breath: and
still the Queen cried “Faster! Faster!” and dragged her along. “Are we
nearly there?” Alice managed to pant out at last.

“Nearly there!” the Queen repeated. “Why, we passed it ten minutes ago!
Faster!” And they ran on for a time in silence, with the wind whistling
in Alice’s ears, and almost blowing her hair off her head, she fancied.

“Now! Now!” cried the Queen. “Faster! Faster!” And they went so fast
that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the
ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was getting quite
exhausted, they stopped, and she found herself sitting on the ground,
breathless and giddy.

The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said kindly, “You may rest
a little now.”

Alice looked round her in great surprise. “Why, I do believe we’ve been
under this tree the whole time! Everything’s just as it was!”

“Of course it is,” said the Queen, “what would you have it?”

“Well, in _our_ country,” said Alice, still panting a little, “you’d
generally get to somewhere else—if you ran very fast for a long time,
as we’ve been doing.”

“A slow sort of country!” said the Queen. “Now, _here_, you see, it
takes all the running _you_ can do, to keep in the same place. If you
want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as
that!”

“I’d rather not try, please!” said Alice. “I’m quite content to stay
here—only I _am_ so hot and thirsty!”

“I know what _you’d_ like!” the Queen said good-naturedly, taking a
little box out of her pocket. “Have a biscuit?”

Alice thought it would not be civil to say “No,” though it wasn’t at
all what she wanted. So she took it, and ate it as well as she could:
and it was _very_ dry; and she thought she had never been so nearly
choked in all her life.

“While you’re refreshing yourself,” said the Queen, “I’ll just take the
measurements.” And she took a ribbon out of her pocket, marked in
inches, and began measuring the ground, and sticking little pegs in
here and there.

“At the end of two yards,” she said, putting in a peg to mark the
distance, “I shall give you your directions—have another biscuit?”

“No, thank you,” said Alice: “one’s _quite_ enough!”

“Thirst quenched, I hope?” said the Queen.

Alice did not know what to say to this, but luckily the Queen did not
wait for an answer, but went on. “At the end of _three_ yards I shall
repeat them—for fear of your forgetting them. At the end of _four_, I
shall say good-bye. And at the end of _five_, I shall go!”

She had got all the pegs put in by this time, and Alice looked on with
great interest as she returned to the tree, and then began slowly
walking down the row.

At the two-yard peg she faced round, and said, “A pawn goes two squares
in its first move, you know. So you’ll go _very_ quickly through the
Third Square—by railway, I should think—and you’ll find yourself in the
Fourth Square in no time. Well, _that_ square belongs to Tweedledum and
Tweedledee—the Fifth is mostly water—the Sixth belongs to Humpty
Dumpty—But you make no remark?”

“I—I didn’t know I had to make one—just then,” Alice faltered out.

“You _should_ have said, ‘It’s extremely kind of you to tell me all
this’—however, we’ll suppose it said—the Seventh Square is all
forest—however, one of the Knights will show you the way—and in the
Eighth Square we shall be Queens together, and it’s all feasting and
fun!” Alice got up and curtseyed, and sat down again.

At the next peg the Queen turned again, and this time she said, “Speak
in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing—turn out your
toes as you walk—and remember who you are!” She did not wait for Alice
to curtsey this time, but walked on quickly to the next peg, where she
turned for a moment to say “good-bye,” and then hurried on to the last.

How it happened, Alice never knew, but exactly as she came to the last
peg, she was gone. Whether she vanished into the air, or whether she
ran quickly into the wood (“and she _can_ run very fast!” thought
Alice), there was no way of guessing, but she was gone, and Alice began
to remember that she was a Pawn, and that it would soon be time for her
to move.

CHAPTER III.
Looking-Glass Insects

Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of the
country she was going to travel through. “It’s something very like
learning geography,” thought Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of
being able to see a little further. “Principal rivers—there _are_ none.
Principal mountains—I’m on the only one, but I don’t think it’s got any
name. Principal towns—why, what _are_ those creatures, making honey
down there? They can’t be bees—nobody ever saw bees a mile off, you
know—” and for some time she stood silent, watching one of them that
was bustling about among the flowers, poking its proboscis into them,
“just as if it was a regular bee,” thought Alice.

However, this was anything but a regular bee: in fact it was an
elephant—as Alice soon found out, though the idea quite took her breath
away at first. “And what enormous flowers they must be!” was her next
idea. “Something like cottages with the roofs taken off, and stalks put
to them—and what quantities of honey they must make! I think I’ll go
down and—no, I won’t _just_ yet,” she went on, checking herself just as
she was beginning to run down the hill, and trying to find some excuse
for turning shy so suddenly. “It’ll never do to go down among them
without a good long branch to brush them away—and what fun it’ll be
when they ask me how I like my walk. I shall say—‘Oh, I like it well
enough—’” (here came the favourite little toss of the head), “‘only it
was so dusty and hot, and the elephants did tease so!’”

“I think I’ll go down the other way,” she said after a pause: “and
perhaps I may visit the elephants later on. Besides, I do so want to
get into the Third Square!”

So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped over the first of
the six little brooks.

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

“Tickets, please!” said the Guard, putting his head in at the window.
In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket: they were about the
same size as the people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage.

“Now then! Show your ticket, child!” the Guard went on, looking angrily
at Alice. And a great many voices all said together (“like the chorus
of a song,” thought Alice), “Don’t keep him waiting, child! Why, his
time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!”

“I’m afraid I haven’t got one,” Alice said in a frightened tone: “there
wasn’t a ticket-office where I came from.” And again the chorus of
voices went on. “There wasn’t room for one where she came from. The
land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!”

“Don’t make excuses,” said the Guard: “you should have bought one from
the engine-driver.” And once more the chorus of voices went on with
“The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth a
thousand pounds a puff!”

Alice thought to herself, “Then there’s no use in speaking.” The voices
didn’t join in this time, as she hadn’t spoken, but to her great
surprise, they all _thought_ in chorus (I hope you understand what
_thinking in chorus_ means—for I must confess that _I_ don’t), “Better
say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!”

“I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight, I know I shall!”
thought Alice.

All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a telescope,
then through a microscope, and then through an opera-glass. At last he
said, “You’re travelling the wrong way,” and shut up the window and
went away.

“So young a child,” said the gentleman sitting opposite to her (he was
dressed in white paper), “ought to know which way she’s going, even if
she doesn’t know her own name!”

A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in white, shut his eyes
and said in a loud voice, “She ought to know her way to the
ticket-office, even if she doesn’t know her alphabet!”

There was a Beetle sitting next to the Goat (it was a very queer
carriage-full of passengers altogether), and, as the rule seemed to be
that they should all speak in turn, _he_ went on with “She’ll have to
go back from here as luggage!”

Alice couldn’t see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, but a hoarse
voice spoke next. “Change engines—” it said, and was obliged to leave
off.

“It sounds like a horse,” Alice thought to herself. And an extremely
small voice, close to her ear, said, “You might make a joke on
that—something about ‘horse’ and ‘hoarse,’ you know.”

Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, “She must be labelled
‘Lass, with care,’ you know—”

And after that other voices went on (“What a number of people there are
in the carriage!” thought Alice), saying, “She must go by post, as
she’s got a head on her—” “She must be sent as a message by the
telegraph—” “She must draw the train herself the rest of the way—” and
so on.

But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forwards and whispered
in her ear, “Never mind what they all say, my dear, but take a
return-ticket every time the train stops.”

“Indeed I shan’t!” Alice said rather impatiently. “I don’t belong to
this railway journey at all—I was in a wood just now—and I wish I could
get back there.”

“You might make a joke on _that_,” said the little voice close to her
ear: “something about ‘you _would_ if you could,’ you know.”

“Don’t tease so,” said Alice, looking about in vain to see where the
voice came from; “if you’re so anxious to have a joke made, why don’t
you make one yourself?”

The little voice sighed deeply: it was _very_ unhappy, evidently, and
Alice would have said something pitying to comfort it, “If it would
only sigh like other people!” she thought. But this was such a
wonderfully small sigh, that she wouldn’t have heard it at all, if it
hadn’t come _quite_ close to her ear. The consequence of this was that
it tickled her ear very much, and quite took off her thoughts from the
unhappiness of the poor little creature.

“I know you are a friend,” the little voice went on; “a dear friend,
and an old friend. And you won’t hurt me, though I _am_ an insect.”

“What kind of insect?” Alice inquired a little anxiously. What she
really wanted to know was, whether it could sting or not, but she
thought this wouldn’t be quite a civil question to ask.

“What, then you don’t—” the little voice began, when it was drowned by
a shrill scream from the engine, and everybody jumped up in alarm,
Alice among the rest.

The Horse, who had put his head out of the window, quietly drew it in
and said, “It’s only a brook we have to jump over.” Everybody seemed
satisfied with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the idea of
trains jumping at all. “However, it’ll take us into the Fourth Square,
that’s some comfort!” she said to herself. In another moment she felt
the carriage rise straight up into the air, and in her fright she
caught at the thing nearest to her hand, which happened to be the
Goat’s beard.

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, and she found
herself sitting quietly under a tree—while the Gnat (for that was the
insect she had been talking to) was balancing itself on a twig just
over her head, and fanning her with its wings.

It certainly was a _very_ large Gnat: “about the size of a chicken,”
Alice thought. Still, she couldn’t feel nervous with it, after they had
been talking together so long.

“—then you don’t like all insects?” the Gnat went on, as quietly as if
nothing had happened.

“I like them when they can talk,” Alice said. “None of them ever talk,
where _I_ come from.”

“What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where _you_ come from?” the
Gnat inquired.

“I don’t _rejoice_ in insects at all,” Alice explained, “because I’m
rather afraid of them—at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the
names of some of them.”

“Of course they answer to their names?” the Gnat remarked carelessly.

“I never knew them to do it.”

“What’s the use of their having names,” the Gnat said, “if they won’t
answer to them?”

“No use to _them_,” said Alice; “but it’s useful to the people who name
them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?”

“I can’t say,” the Gnat replied. “Further on, in the wood down there,
they’ve got no names—however, go on with your list of insects: you’re
wasting time.”

“Well, there’s the Horse-fly,” Alice began, counting off the names on
her fingers.

“All right,” said the Gnat: “half way up that bush, you’ll see a
Rocking-horse-fly, if you look. It’s made entirely of wood, and gets
about by swinging itself from branch to branch.”

“What does it live on?” Alice asked, with great curiosity.

“Sap and sawdust,” said the Gnat. “Go on with the list.”

Alice looked up at the Rocking-horse-fly with great interest, and made
up her mind that it must have been just repainted, it looked so bright
and sticky; and then she went on.

“And there’s the Dragon-fly.”

“Look on the branch above your head,” said the Gnat, “and there you’ll
find a snap-dragon-fly. Its body is made of plum-pudding, its wings of
holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy.”

“And what does it live on?”

“Frumenty and mince pie,” the Gnat replied; “and it makes its nest in a
Christmas box.”

“And then there’s the Butterfly,” Alice went on, after she had taken a
good look at the insect with its head on fire, and had thought to
herself, “I wonder if that’s the reason insects are so fond of flying
into candles—because they want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies!”

“Crawling at your feet,” said the Gnat (Alice drew her feet back in
some alarm), “you may observe a Bread-and-Butterfly. Its wings are thin
slices of Bread-and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a lump
of sugar.”

“And what does _it_ live on?”

“Weak tea with cream in it.”

A new difficulty came into Alice’s head. “Supposing it couldn’t find
any?” she suggested.

“Then it would die, of course.”

“But that must happen very often,” Alice remarked thoughtfully.

“It always happens,” said the Gnat.

After this, Alice was silent for a minute or two, pondering. The Gnat
amused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head: at last it
settled again and remarked, “I suppose you don’t want to lose your
name?”

“No, indeed,” Alice said, a little anxiously.

“And yet I don’t know,” the Gnat went on in a careless tone: “only
think how convenient it would be if you could manage to go home without
it! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons,
she would call out ‘come here—,’ and there she would have to leave off,
because there wouldn’t be any name for her to call, and of course you
wouldn’t have to go, you know.”

“That would never do, I’m sure,” said Alice: “the governess would never
think of excusing me lessons for that. If she couldn’t remember my
name, she’d call me ‘Miss!’ as the servants do.”

“Well, if she said ‘Miss,’ and didn’t say anything more,” the Gnat
remarked, “of course you’d miss your lessons. That’s a joke. I wish
_you_ had made it.”

“Why do you wish _I_ had made it?” Alice asked. “It’s a very bad one.”

But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large tears came rolling
down its cheeks.

“You shouldn’t make jokes,” Alice said, “if it makes you so unhappy.”

Then came another of those melancholy little sighs, and this time the
poor Gnat really seemed to have sighed itself away, for, when Alice
looked up, there was nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and, as
she was getting quite chilly with sitting still so long, she got up and
walked on.

She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on the other side of
it: it looked much darker than the last wood, and Alice felt a _little_
timid about going into it. However, on second thoughts, she made up her
mind to go on: “for I certainly won’t go _back_,” she thought to
herself, and this was the only way to the Eighth Square.

“This must be the wood,” she said thoughtfully to herself, “where
things have no names. I wonder what’ll become of _my_ name when I go
in? I shouldn’t like to lose it at all—because they’d have to give me
another, and it would be almost certain to be an ugly one. But then the
fun would be trying to find the creature that had got my old name!
That’s just like the advertisements, you know, when people lose
dogs—‘_answers to the name of “Dash:” had on a brass collar_’—just
fancy calling everything you met ‘Alice,’ till one of them answered!
Only they wouldn’t answer at all, if they were wise.”

She was rambling on in this way when she reached the wood: it looked
very cool and shady. “Well, at any rate it’s a great comfort,” she said
as she stepped under the trees, “after being so hot, to get into
the—into _what_?” she went on, rather surprised at not being able to
think of the word. “I mean to get under the—under the—under _this_, you
know!” putting her hand on the trunk of the tree. “What _does_ it call
itself, I wonder? I do believe it’s got no name—why, to be sure it
hasn’t!”

She stood silent for a minute, thinking: then she suddenly began again.
“Then it really _has_ happened, after all! And now, who am I? I _will_
remember, if I can! I’m determined to do it!” But being determined
didn’t help much, and all she could say, after a great deal of
puzzling, was, “L, I _know_ it begins with L!”

Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it looked at Alice with its large
gentle eyes, but didn’t seem at all frightened. “Here then! Here then!”
Alice said, as she held out her hand and tried to stroke it; but it
only started back a little, and then stood looking at her again.

“What do you call yourself?” the Fawn said at last. Such a soft sweet
voice it had!

“I wish I knew!” thought poor Alice. She answered, rather sadly,
“Nothing, just now.”

“Think again,” it said: “that won’t do.”

Alice thought, but nothing came of it. “Please, would you tell me what
_you_ call yourself?” she said timidly. “I think that might help a
little.”

“I’ll tell you, if you’ll move a little further on,” the Fawn said. “I
can’t remember here.”

So they walked on together though the wood, Alice with her arms clasped
lovingly round the soft neck of the Fawn, till they came out into
another open field, and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air,
and shook itself free from Alice’s arms. “I’m a Fawn!” it cried out in
a voice of delight, “and, dear me! you’re a human child!” A sudden look
of alarm came into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another moment it
had darted away at full speed.

Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to cry with vexation at
having lost her dear little fellow-traveller so suddenly. “However, I
know my name now.” she said, “that’s _some_ comfort. Alice—Alice—I
won’t forget it again. And now, which of these finger-posts ought I to
follow, I wonder?”

It was not a very difficult question to answer, as there was only one
road through the wood, and the two finger-posts both pointed along it.
“I’ll settle it,” Alice said to herself, “when the road divides and
they point different ways.”

But this did not seem likely to happen. She went on and on, a long way,
but wherever the road divided there were sure to be two finger-posts
pointing the same way, one marked “TO TWEEDLEDUM’S HOUSE” and the other
“TO THE HOUSE OF TWEEDLEDEE.”

“I do believe,” said Alice at last, “that they live in the same house!
I wonder I never thought of that before—But I can’t stay there long.
I’ll just call and say ‘how d’you do?’ and ask them the way out of the
wood. If I could only get to the Eighth Square before it gets dark!” So
she wandered on, talking to herself as she went, till, on turning a
sharp corner, she came upon two fat little men, so suddenly that she
could not help starting back, but in another moment she recovered
herself, feeling sure that they must be

CHAPTER IV.
Tweedledum And Tweedledee

They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other’s
neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because one of them
had “DUM” embroidered on his collar, and the other “DEE.” “I suppose
they’ve each got ‘TWEEDLE’ round at the back of the collar,” she said
to herself.

They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she was
just looking round to see if the word ‘TWEEDLE’ was written at the back
of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one
marked “DUM.”

“If you think we’re wax-works,” he said, “you ought to pay, you know.
Wax-works weren’t made to be looked at for nothing, nohow!”

“Contrariwise,” added the one marked “DEE,” “if you think we’re alive,
you ought to speak.”

“I’m sure I’m very sorry,” was all Alice could say; for the words of
the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock,
and she could hardly help saying them out loud:—

“Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.”

“I know what you’re thinking about,” said Tweedledum: “but it isn’t so,
nohow.”

“Contrariwise,” continued Tweedledee, “if it was so, it might be; and
if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.”

“I was thinking,” Alice said very politely, “which is the best way out
of this wood: it’s getting so dark. Would you tell me, please?”

But the little men only looked at each other and grinned.

They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys, that Alice
couldn’t help pointing her finger at Tweedledum, and saying “First
Boy!”

“Nohow!” Tweedledum cried out briskly, and shut his mouth up again with
a snap.

“Next Boy!” said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, though she felt quite
certain he would only shout out “Contrariwise!” and so he did.

“You’ve been wrong!” cried Tweedledum. “The first thing in a visit is
to say ‘How d’ye do?’ and shake hands!” And here the two brothers gave
each other a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were free,
to shake hands with her.

Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first, for fear of
hurting the other one’s feelings; so, as the best way out of the
difficulty, she took hold of both hands at once: the next moment they
were dancing round in a ring. This seemed quite natural (she remembered
afterwards), and she was not even surprised to hear music playing: it
seemed to come from the tree under which they were dancing, and it was
done (as well as she could make it out) by the branches rubbing one
across the other, like fiddles and fiddle-sticks.

“But it certainly _was_ funny,” (Alice said afterwards, when she was
telling her sister the history of all this,) “to find myself singing
‘_Here we go round the mulberry bush_.’ I don’t know when I began it,
but somehow I felt as if I’d been singing it a long long time!”

The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of breath. “Four
times round is enough for one dance,” Tweedledum panted out, and they
left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun: the music stopped at
the same moment.

Then they let go of Alice’s hands, and stood looking at her for a
minute: there was a rather awkward pause, as Alice didn’t know how to
begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. “It
would never do to say ‘How d’ye do?’ _now_,” she said to herself: “we
seem to have got beyond that, somehow!”

“I hope you’re not much tired?” she said at last.

“Nohow. And thank you _very_ much for asking,” said Tweedledum.

“So _much_ obliged!” added Tweedledee. “You like poetry?”

“Ye-es, pretty well—_some_ poetry,” Alice said doubtfully. “Would you
tell me which road leads out of the wood?”

“What shall I repeat to her?” said Tweedledee, looking round at
Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, and not noticing Alice’s question.

“‘_The Walrus and the Carpenter_’ is the longest,” Tweedledum replied,
giving his brother an affectionate hug.

Tweedledee began instantly:

“The sun was shining—”

Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. “If it’s _very_ long,” she said,
as politely as she could, “would you please tell me first which road—”

Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again:

“The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright—
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done—
‘It’s very rude of him,’ she said,
‘To come and spoil the fun!’

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying over head—
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
‘If this were only cleared away,’
They said, ‘it _would_ be grand!’

‘If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose,’ the Walrus said,
‘That they could get it clear?’
‘I doubt it,’ said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

‘O Oysters, come and walk with us!’
The Walrus did beseech.
‘A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.’

The eldest Oyster looked at him.
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head—
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat—
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn’t any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more—
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

‘The time has come,’ the Walrus said,
‘To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—
Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
And whether pigs have wings.’

‘But wait a bit,’ the Oysters cried,
‘Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!’
‘No hurry!’ said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

‘A loaf of bread,’ the Walrus said,
‘Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed—
Now if you’re ready Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.’

‘But not on us!’ the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue,
‘After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!’
‘The night is fine,’ the Walrus said
‘Do you admire the view?

‘It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!’
The Carpenter said nothing but
‘Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf—
I’ve had to ask you twice!’

‘It seems a shame,’ the Walrus said,
‘To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!’
The Carpenter said nothing but
‘The butter’s spread too thick!’

‘I weep for you,’ the Walrus said.
‘I deeply sympathize.’
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size.
Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

‘O Oysters,’ said the Carpenter.
‘You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none—
And that was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.”

“I like the Walrus best,” said Alice: “because you see he was a
_little_ sorry for the poor oysters.”

“He ate more than the Carpenter, though,” said Tweedledee. “You see he
held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn’t count
how many he took: contrariwise.”

“That was mean!” Alice said indignantly. “Then I like the Carpenter
best—if he didn’t eat so many as the Walrus.”

“But he ate as many as he could get,” said Tweedledum.

This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice began, “Well! They were _both_
very unpleasant characters—” Here she checked herself in some alarm, at
hearing something that sounded to her like the puffing of a large
steam-engine in the wood near them, though she feared it was more
likely to be a wild beast. “Are there any lions or tigers about here?”
she asked timidly.

“It’s only the Red King snoring,” said Tweedledee.

“Come and look at him!” the brothers cried, and they each took one of
Alice’s hands, and led her up to where the King was sleeping.

“Isn’t he a _lovely_ sight?” said Tweedledum.

Alice couldn’t say honestly that he was. He had a tall red night-cap
on, with a tassel, and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of untidy
heap, and snoring loud—“fit to snore his head off!” as Tweedledum
remarked.

“I’m afraid he’ll catch cold with lying on the damp grass,” said Alice,
who was a very thoughtful little girl.

“He’s dreaming now,” said Tweedledee: “and what do you think he’s
dreaming about?”

Alice said “Nobody can guess that.”

“Why, about _you_!” Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands
triumphantly. “And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you
suppose you’d be?”

“Where I am now, of course,” said Alice.

“Not you!” Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. “You’d be nowhere. Why,
you’re only a sort of thing in his dream!”

“If that there King was to wake,” added Tweedledum, “you’d go
out—bang!—just like a candle!”

“I shouldn’t!” Alice exclaimed indignantly. “Besides, if _I’m_ only a
sort of thing in his dream, what are _you_, I should like to know?”

“Ditto” said Tweedledum.

“Ditto, ditto” cried Tweedledee.

He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn’t help saying, “Hush! You’ll
be waking him, I’m afraid, if you make so much noise.”

“Well, it no use _your_ talking about waking him,” said Tweedledum,
“when you’re only one of the things in his dream. You know very well
you’re not real.”

“I _am_ real!” said Alice and began to cry.

“You won’t make yourself a bit realler by crying,” Tweedledee remarked:
“there’s nothing to cry about.”

“If I wasn’t real,” Alice said—half-laughing through her tears, it all
seemed so ridiculous—“I shouldn’t be able to cry.”

“I hope you don’t suppose those are real tears?” Tweedledum interrupted
in a tone of great contempt.

“I know they’re talking nonsense,” Alice thought to herself: “and it’s
foolish to cry about it.” So she brushed away her tears, and went on as
cheerfully as she could. “At any rate I’d better be getting out of the
wood, for really it’s coming on very dark. Do you think it’s going to
rain?”

Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother, and
looked up into it. “No, I don’t think it is,” he said: “at least—not
under _here_. Nohow.”

“But it may rain _outside_?”

“It may—if it chooses,” said Tweedledee: “we’ve no objection.
Contrariwise.”

“Selfish things!” thought Alice, and she was just going to say
“Good-night” and leave them, when Tweedledum sprang out from under the
umbrella and seized her by the wrist.

“Do you see _that_?” he said, in a voice choking with passion, and his
eyes grew large and yellow all in a moment, as he pointed with a
trembling finger at a small white thing lying under the tree.

“It’s only a rattle,” Alice said, after a careful examination of the
little white thing. “Not a rattle-_snake_, you know,” she added
hastily, thinking that he was frightened: “only an old rattle—quite old
and broken.”

“I knew it was!” cried Tweedledum, beginning to stamp about wildly and
tear his hair. “It’s spoilt, of course!” Here he looked at Tweedledee,
who immediately sat down on the ground, and tried to hide himself under
the umbrella.

Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said in a soothing tone, “You
needn’t be so angry about an old rattle.”

“But it isn’t old!” Tweedledum cried, in a greater fury than ever.
“It’s new, I tell you—I bought it yesterday—my nice new RATTLE!” and
his voice rose to a perfect scream.

All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella,
with himself in it: which was such an extraordinary thing to do, that
it quite took off Alice’s attention from the angry brother. But he
couldn’t quite succeed, and it ended in his rolling over, bundled up in
the umbrella, with only his head out: and there he lay, opening and
shutting his mouth and his large eyes—“looking more like a fish than
anything else,” Alice thought.

“Of course you agree to have a battle?” Tweedledum said in a calmer
tone.

“I suppose so,” the other sulkily replied, as he crawled out of the
umbrella: “only _she_ must help us to dress up, you know.”

So the two brothers went off hand-in-hand into the wood, and returned
in a minute with their arms full of things—such as bolsters, blankets,
hearth-rugs, table-cloths, dish-covers and coal-scuttles. “I hope
you’re a good hand at pinning and tying strings?” Tweedledum remarked.
“Every one of these things has got to go on, somehow or other.”

Alice said afterwards she had never seen such a fuss made about
anything in all her life—the way those two bustled about—and the
quantity of things they put on—and the trouble they gave her in tying
strings and fastening buttons—“Really they’ll be more like bundles of
old clothes than anything else, by the time they’re ready!” she said to
herself, as she arranged a bolster round the neck of Tweedledee, “to
keep his head from being cut off,” as he said.

“You know,” he added very gravely, “it’s one of the most serious things
that can possibly happen to one in a battle—to get one’s head cut off.”

Alice laughed aloud: but she managed to turn it into a cough, for fear
of hurting his feelings.

“Do I look very pale?” said Tweedledum, coming up to have his helmet
tied on. (He _called_ it a helmet, though it certainly looked much more
like a saucepan.)

“Well—yes—a _little_,” Alice replied gently.

“I’m very brave generally,” he went on in a low voice: “only to-day I
happen to have a headache.”

“And _I’ve_ got a toothache!” said Tweedledee, who had overheard the
remark. “I’m far worse off than you!”

“Then you’d better not fight to-day,” said Alice, thinking it a good
opportunity to make peace.

“We _must_ have a bit of a fight, but I don’t care about going on
long,” said Tweedledum. “What’s the time now?”

Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said “Half-past four.”

“Let’s fight till six, and then have dinner,” said Tweedledum.

“Very well,” the other said, rather sadly: “and _she_ can watch us—only
you’d better not come _very_ close,” he added: “I generally hit
everything I can see—when I get really excited.”

“And _I_ hit everything within reach,” cried Tweedledum, “whether I can
see it or not!”

Alice laughed. “You must hit the _trees_ pretty often, I should think,”
she said.

Tweedledum looked round him with a satisfied smile. “I don’t suppose,”
he said, “there’ll be a tree left standing, for ever so far round, by
the time we’ve finished!”

“And all about a rattle!” said Alice, still hoping to make them a
_little_ ashamed of fighting for such a trifle.

“I shouldn’t have minded it so much,” said Tweedledum, “if it hadn’t
been a new one.”

“I wish the monstrous crow would come!” thought Alice.

“There’s only one sword, you know,” Tweedledum said to his brother:
“but you can have the umbrella—it’s quite as sharp. Only we must begin
quick. It’s getting as dark as it can.”

“And darker,” said Tweedledee.

It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be a
thunderstorm coming on. “What a thick black cloud that is!” she said.
“And how fast it comes! Why, I do believe it’s got wings!”

“It’s the crow!” Tweedledum cried out in a shrill voice of alarm: and
the two brothers took to their heels and were out of sight in a moment.

Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a large tree.
“It can never get at me _here_,” she thought: “it’s far too large to
squeeze itself in among the trees. But I wish it wouldn’t flap its
wings so—it makes quite a hurricane in the wood—here’s somebody’s shawl
being blown away!”

CHAPTER V.
Wool and Water

She caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about for the owner: in
another moment the White Queen came running wildly through the wood,
with both arms stretched out wide, as if she were flying, and Alice
very civilly went to meet her with the shawl.

“I’m very glad I happened to be in the way,” Alice said, as she helped
her to put on her shawl again.

The White Queen only looked at her in a helpless frightened sort of
way, and kept repeating something in a whisper to herself that sounded
like “bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter,” and Alice felt that if there
was to be any conversation at all, she must manage it herself. So she
began rather timidly: “Am I addressing the White Queen?”

“Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing,” The Queen said. “It isn’t
_my_ notion of the thing, at all.”

Alice thought it would never do to have an argument at the very
beginning of their conversation, so she smiled and said, “If your
Majesty will only tell me the right way to begin, I’ll do it as well as
I can.”

“But I don’t want it done at all!” groaned the poor Queen. “I’ve been
a-dressing myself for the last two hours.”

It would have been all the better, as it seemed to Alice, if she had
got some one else to dress her, she was so dreadfully untidy. “Every
single thing’s crooked,” Alice thought to herself, “and she’s all over
pins!—may I put your shawl straight for you?” she added aloud.

“I don’t know what’s the matter with it!” the Queen said, in a
melancholy voice. “It’s out of temper, I think. I’ve pinned it here,
and I’ve pinned it there, but there’s no pleasing it!”

“It _can’t_ go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side,”
Alice said, as she gently put it right for her; “and, dear me, what a
state your hair is in!”

“The brush has got entangled in it!” the Queen said with a sigh. “And I
lost the comb yesterday.”

Alice carefully released the brush, and did her best to get the hair
into order. “Come, you look rather better now!” she said, after
altering most of the pins. “But really you should have a lady’s maid!”

“I’m sure I’ll take you with pleasure!” the Queen said. “Twopence a
week, and jam every other day.”

Alice couldn’t help laughing, as she said, “I don’t want you to hire
_me_—and I don’t care for jam.”

“It’s very good jam,” said the Queen.

“Well, I don’t want any _to-day_, at any rate.”

“You couldn’t have it if you _did_ want it,” the Queen said. “The rule
is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.”

“It _must_ come sometimes to ‘jam to-day,’” Alice objected.

“No, it can’t,” said the Queen. “It’s jam every _other_ day: to-day
isn’t any _other_ day, you know.”

“I don’t understand you,” said Alice. “It’s dreadfully confusing!”

“That’s the effect of living backwards,” the Queen said kindly: “it
always makes one a little giddy at first—”

“Living backwards!” Alice repeated in great astonishment. “I never
heard of such a thing!”

“—but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s memory works both
ways.”

“I’m sure _mine_ only works one way,” Alice remarked. “I can’t remember
things before they happen.”

“It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,” the Queen
remarked.

“What sort of things do _you_ remember best?” Alice ventured to ask.

“Oh, things that happened the week after next,” the Queen replied in a
careless tone. “For instance, now,” she went on, sticking a large piece
of plaster on her finger as she spoke, “there’s the King’s Messenger.
He’s in prison now, being punished: and the trial doesn’t even begin
till next Wednesday: and of course the crime comes last of all.”

“Suppose he never commits the crime?” said Alice.

“That would be all the better, wouldn’t it?” the Queen said, as she
bound the plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon.

Alice felt there was no denying _that_. “Of course it would be all the
better,” she said: “but it wouldn’t be all the better his being
punished.”

“You’re wrong _there_, at any rate,” said the Queen: “were _you_ ever
punished?”

“Only for faults,” said Alice.

“And you were all the better for it, I know!” the Queen said
triumphantly.

“Yes, but then I _had_ done the things I was punished for,” said Alice:
“that makes all the difference.”

“But if you _hadn’t_ done them,” the Queen said, “that would have been
better still; better, and better, and better!” Her voice went higher
with each “better,” till it got quite to a squeak at last.

Alice was just beginning to say “There’s a mistake somewhere—,” when
the Queen began screaming so loud that she had to leave the sentence
unfinished. “Oh, oh, oh!” shouted the Queen, shaking her hand about as
if she wanted to shake it off. “My finger’s bleeding! Oh, oh, oh, oh!”

Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steam-engine, that
Alice had to hold both her hands over her ears.

“What _is_ the matter?” she said, as soon as there was a chance of
making herself heard. “Have you pricked your finger?”

“I haven’t pricked it _yet_,” the Queen said, “but I soon shall—oh, oh,
oh!”

“When do you expect to do it?” Alice asked, feeling very much inclined
to laugh.

“When I fasten my shawl again,” the poor Queen groaned out: “the brooch
will come undone directly. Oh, oh!” As she said the words the brooch
flew open, and the Queen clutched wildly at it, and tried to clasp it
again.

“Take care!” cried Alice. “You’re holding it all crooked!” And she
caught at the brooch; but it was too late: the pin had slipped, and the
Queen had pricked her finger.

“That accounts for the bleeding, you see,” she said to Alice with a
smile. “Now you understand the way things happen here.”

“But why don’t you scream now?” Alice asked, holding her hands ready to
put over her ears again.

“Why, I’ve done all the screaming already,” said the Queen. “What would
be the good of having it all over again?”

By this time it was getting light. “The crow must have flown away, I
think,” said Alice: “I’m so glad it’s gone. I thought it was the night
coming on.”

“I wish _I_ could manage to be glad!” the Queen said. “Only I never can
remember the rule. You must be very happy, living in this wood, and
being glad whenever you like!”

“Only it is so _very_ lonely here!” Alice said in a melancholy voice;
and at the thought of her loneliness two large tears came rolling down
her cheeks.

“Oh, don’t go on like that!” cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands
in despair. “Consider what a great girl you are. Consider what a long
way you’ve come to-day. Consider what o’clock it is. Consider anything,
only don’t cry!”

Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the midst of her tears.
“Can _you_ keep from crying by considering things?” she asked.

“That’s the way it’s done,” the Queen said with great decision: “nobody
can do two things at once, you know. Let’s consider your age to begin
with—how old are you?”

“I’m seven and a half exactly.”

“You needn’t say ‘exactually,’” the Queen remarked: “I can believe it
without that. Now I’ll give _you_ something to believe. I’m just one
hundred and one, five months and a day.”

“I can’t believe _that_!” said Alice.

“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long
breath, and shut your eyes.”

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one _can’t_ believe
impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was
your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve
believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes
the shawl again!”

The brooch had come undone as she spoke, and a sudden gust of wind blew
the Queen’s shawl across a little brook. The Queen spread out her arms
again, and went flying after it, and this time she succeeded in
catching it for herself. “I’ve got it!” she cried in a triumphant tone.
“Now you shall see me pin it on again, all by myself!”

“Then I hope your finger is better now?” Alice said very politely, as
she crossed the little brook after the Queen.

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

“Oh, much better!” cried the Queen, her voice rising to a squeak as she
went on. “Much be-etter! Be-etter! Be-e-e-etter! Be-e-ehh!” The last
word ended in a long bleat, so like a sheep that Alice quite started.

She looked at the Queen, who seemed to have suddenly wrapped herself up
in wool. Alice rubbed her eyes, and looked again. She couldn’t make out
what had happened at all. Was she in a shop? And was that really—was it
really a _sheep_ that was sitting on the other side of the counter? Rub
as she could, she could make nothing more of it: she was in a little
dark shop, leaning with her elbows on the counter, and opposite to her
was an old Sheep, sitting in an arm-chair knitting, and every now and
then leaving off to look at her through a great pair of spectacles.

“What is it you want to buy?” the Sheep said at last, looking up for a
moment from her knitting.

“I don’t _quite_ know yet,” Alice said, very gently. “I should like to
look all round me first, if I might.”

“You may look in front of you, and on both sides, if you like,” said
the Sheep: “but you can’t look _all_ round you—unless you’ve got eyes
at the back of your head.”

But these, as it happened, Alice had _not_ got: so she contented
herself with turning round, looking at the shelves as she came to them.

The shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious things—but the
oddest part of it all was, that whenever she looked hard at any shelf,
to make out exactly what it had on it, that particular shelf was always
quite empty: though the others round it were crowded as full as they
could hold.

“Things flow about so here!” she said at last in a plaintive tone,
after she had spent a minute or so in vainly pursuing a large bright
thing, that looked sometimes like a doll and sometimes like a work-box,
and was always in the shelf next above the one she was looking at. “And
this one is the most provoking of all—but I’ll tell you what—” she
added, as a sudden thought struck her, “I’ll follow it up to the very
top shelf of all. It’ll puzzle it to go through the ceiling, I expect!”

But even this plan failed: the “thing” went through the ceiling as
quietly as possible, as if it were quite used to it.

“Are you a child or a teetotum?” the Sheep said, as she took up another
pair of needles. “You’ll make me giddy soon, if you go on turning round
like that.” She was now working with fourteen pairs at once, and Alice
couldn’t help looking at her in great astonishment.

“How _can_ she knit with so many?” the puzzled child thought to
herself. “She gets more and more like a porcupine every minute!”

“Can you row?” the Sheep asked, handing her a pair of knitting-needles
as she spoke.

“Yes, a little—but not on land—and not with needles—” Alice was
beginning to say, when suddenly the needles turned into oars in her
hands, and she found they were in a little boat, gliding along between
banks: so there was nothing for it but to do her best.

“Feather!” cried the Sheep, as she took up another pair of needles.

This didn’t sound like a remark that needed any answer, so Alice said
nothing, but pulled away. There was something very queer about the
water, she thought, as every now and then the oars got fast in it, and
would hardly come out again.

“Feather! Feather!” the Sheep cried again, taking more needles. “You’ll
be catching a crab directly.”

“A dear little crab!” thought Alice. “I should like that.”

“Didn’t you hear me say ‘Feather’?” the Sheep cried angrily, taking up
quite a bunch of needles.

“Indeed I did,” said Alice: “you’ve said it very often—and very loud.
Please, where _are_ the crabs?”

“In the water, of course!” said the Sheep, sticking some of the needles
into her hair, as her hands were full. “Feather, I say!”

“_Why_ do you say ‘feather’ so often?” Alice asked at last, rather
vexed. “I’m not a bird!”

“You are,” said the Sheep: “you’re a little goose.”

This offended Alice a little, so there was no more conversation for a
minute or two, while the boat glided gently on, sometimes among beds of
weeds (which made the oars stick fast in the water, worse then ever),
and sometimes under trees, but always with the same tall river-banks
frowning over their heads.

“Oh, please! There are some scented rushes!” Alice cried in a sudden
transport of delight. “There really are—and _such_ beauties!”

“You needn’t say ‘please’ to _me_ about ’em,” the Sheep said, without
looking up from her knitting: “I didn’t put ’em there, and I’m not
going to take ’em away.”

“No, but I meant—please, may we wait and pick some?” Alice pleaded. “If
you don’t mind stopping the boat for a minute.”

“How am _I_ to stop it?” said the Sheep. “If you leave off rowing,
it’ll stop of itself.”

So the boat was left to drift down the stream as it would, till it
glided gently in among the waving rushes. And then the little sleeves
were carefully rolled up, and the little arms were plunged in
elbow-deep to get the rushes a good long way down before breaking them
off—and for a while Alice forgot all about the Sheep and the knitting,
as she bent over the side of the boat, with just the ends of her
tangled hair dipping into the water—while with bright eager eyes she
caught at one bunch after another of the darling scented rushes.

“I only hope the boat won’t tipple over!” she said to herself. “Oh,
_what_ a lovely one! Only I couldn’t quite reach it.” And it certainly
_did_ seem a little provoking (“almost as if it happened on purpose,”
she thought) that, though she managed to pick plenty of beautiful
rushes as the boat glided by, there was always a more lovely one that
she couldn’t reach.

“The prettiest are always further!” she said at last, with a sigh at
the obstinacy of the rushes in growing so far off, as, with flushed
cheeks and dripping hair and hands, she scrambled back into her place,
and began to arrange her new-found treasures.

What mattered it to her just then that the rushes had begun to fade,
and to lose all their scent and beauty, from the very moment that she
picked them? Even real scented rushes, you know, last only a very
little while—and these, being dream-rushes, melted away almost like
snow, as they lay in heaps at her feet—but Alice hardly noticed this,
there were so many other curious things to think about.

They hadn’t gone much farther before the blade of one of the oars got
fast in the water and _wouldn’t_ come out again (so Alice explained it
afterwards), and the consequence was that the handle of it caught her
under the chin, and, in spite of a series of little shrieks of “Oh, oh,
oh!” from poor Alice, it swept her straight off the seat, and down
among the heap of rushes.

However, she wasn’t hurt, and was soon up again: the Sheep went on with
her knitting all the while, just as if nothing had happened. “That was
a nice crab you caught!” she remarked, as Alice got back into her
place, very much relieved to find herself still in the boat.

“Was it? I didn’t see it,” Said Alice, peeping cautiously over the side
of the boat into the dark water. “I wish it hadn’t let go—I should so
like to see a little crab to take home with me!” But the Sheep only
laughed scornfully, and went on with her knitting.

“Are there many crabs here?” said Alice.

“Crabs, and all sorts of things,” said the Sheep: “plenty of choice,
only make up your mind. Now, what _do_ you want to buy?”

“To buy!” Alice echoed in a tone that was half astonished and half
frightened—for the oars, and the boat, and the river, had vanished all
in a moment, and she was back again in the little dark shop.

“I should like to buy an egg, please,” she said timidly. “How do you
sell them?”

“Fivepence farthing for one—Twopence for two,” the Sheep replied.

“Then two are cheaper than one?” Alice said in a surprised tone, taking
out her purse.

“Only you _must_ eat them both, if you buy two,” said the Sheep.

“Then I’ll have _one_, please,” said Alice, as she put the money down
on the counter. For she thought to herself, “They mightn’t be at all
nice, you know.”

The Sheep took the money, and put it away in a box: then she said “I
never put things into people’s hands—that would never do—you must get
it for yourself.” And so saying, she went off to the other end of the
shop, and set the egg upright on a shelf.

“I wonder _why_ it wouldn’t do?” thought Alice, as she groped her way
among the tables and chairs, for the shop was very dark towards the
end. “The egg seems to get further away the more I walk towards it. Let
me see, is this a chair? Why, it’s got branches, I declare! How very
odd to find trees growing here! And actually here’s a little brook!
Well, this is the very queerest shop I ever saw!”

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

So she went on, wondering more and more at every step, as everything
turned into a tree the moment she came up to it, and she quite expected
the egg to do the same.

CHAPTER VI.
Humpty Dumpty

However, the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more human:
when she had come within a few yards of it, she saw that it had eyes
and a nose and mouth; and when she had come close to it, she saw
clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. “It can’t be anybody else!”
she said to herself. “I’m as certain of it, as if his name were written
all over his face.”

It might have been written a hundred times, easily, on that enormous
face. Humpty Dumpty was sitting with his legs crossed, like a Turk, on
the top of a high wall—such a narrow one that Alice quite wondered how
he could keep his balance—and, as his eyes were steadily fixed in the
opposite direction, and he didn’t take the least notice of her, she
thought he must be a stuffed figure after all.

“And how exactly like an egg he is!” she said aloud, standing with her
hands ready to catch him, for she was every moment expecting him to
fall.

“It’s _very_ provoking,” Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence,
looking away from Alice as he spoke, “to be called an egg—_Very!_”

“I said you _looked_ like an egg, Sir,” Alice gently explained. “And
some eggs are very pretty, you know” she added, hoping to turn her
remark into a sort of a compliment.

“Some people,” said Humpty Dumpty, looking away from her as usual,
“have no more sense than a baby!”

Alice didn’t know what to say to this: it wasn’t at all like
conversation, she thought, as he never said anything to _her_; in fact,
his last remark was evidently addressed to a tree—so she stood and
softly repeated to herself:—

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.”

“That last line is much too long for the poetry,” she added, almost out
loud, forgetting that Humpty Dumpty would hear her.

“Don’t stand there chattering to yourself like that,” Humpty Dumpty
said, looking at her for the first time, “but tell me your name and
your business.”

“My _name_ is Alice, but—”

“It’s a stupid enough name!” Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently.
“What does it mean?”

“_Must_ a name mean something?” Alice asked doubtfully.

“Of course it must,” Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: “_my_ name
means the shape I am—and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a name
like yours, you might be any shape, almost.”

“Why do you sit out here all alone?” said Alice, not wishing to begin
an argument.

“Why, because there’s nobody with me!” cried Humpty Dumpty. “Did you
think I didn’t know the answer to _that_? Ask another.”

“Don’t you think you’d be safer down on the ground?” Alice went on, not
with any idea of making another riddle, but simply in her good-natured
anxiety for the queer creature. “That wall is so _very_ narrow!”

“What tremendously easy riddles you ask!” Humpty Dumpty growled out.
“Of course I don’t think so! Why, if ever I _did_ fall off—which
there’s no chance of—but _if_ I did—” Here he pursed his lips and
looked so solemn and grand that Alice could hardly help laughing. “_If_
I did fall,” he went on, “_The King has promised me—with his very own
mouth_—to—to—”

“To send all his horses and all his men,” Alice interrupted, rather
unwisely.

“Now I declare that’s too bad!” Humpty Dumpty cried, breaking into a
sudden passion. “You’ve been listening at doors—and behind trees—and
down chimneys—or you couldn’t have known it!”

“I haven’t, indeed!” Alice said very gently. “It’s in a book.”

“Ah, well! They may write such things in a _book_,” Humpty Dumpty said
in a calmer tone. “That’s what you call a History of England, that is.
Now, take a good look at me! I’m one that has spoken to a King, _I_ am:
mayhap you’ll never see such another: and to show you I’m not proud,
you may shake hands with me!” And he grinned almost from ear to ear, as
he leant forwards (and as nearly as possible fell off the wall in doing
so) and offered Alice his hand. She watched him a little anxiously as
she took it. “If he smiled much more, the ends of his mouth might meet
behind,” she thought: “and then I don’t know what would happen to his
head! I’m afraid it would come off!”

“Yes, all his horses and all his men,” Humpty Dumpty went on. “They’d
pick me up again in a minute, _they_ would! However, this conversation
is going on a little too fast: let’s go back to the last remark but
one.”

“I’m afraid I can’t quite remember it,” Alice said very politely.

“In that case we start fresh,” said Humpty Dumpty, “and it’s my turn to
choose a subject—” (“He talks about it just as if it was a game!”
thought Alice.) “So here’s a question for you. How old did you say you
were?”

Alice made a short calculation, and said “Seven years and six months.”

“Wrong!” Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly. “You never said a word
like it!”

“I though you meant ‘How old _are_ you?’” Alice explained.

“If I’d meant that, I’d have said it,” said Humpty Dumpty.

Alice didn’t want to begin another argument, so she said nothing.

“Seven years and six months!” Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. “An
uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you’d asked _my_ advice, I’d have
said ‘Leave off at seven’—but it’s too late now.”

“I never ask advice about growing,” Alice said indignantly.

“Too proud?” the other inquired.

Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. “I mean,” she said,
“that one can’t help growing older.”

“_One_ can’t, perhaps,” said Humpty Dumpty, “but _two_ can. With proper
assistance, you might have left off at seven.”

“What a beautiful belt you’ve got on!” Alice suddenly remarked.

(They had had quite enough of the subject of age, she thought: and if
they really were to take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn
now.) “At least,” she corrected herself on second thoughts, “a
beautiful cravat, I should have said—no, a belt, I mean—I beg your
pardon!” she added in dismay, for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly
offended, and she began to wish she hadn’t chosen that subject. “If I
only knew,” she thought to herself, “which was neck and which was
waist!”

Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though he said nothing for a
minute or two. When he _did_ speak again, it was in a deep growl.

“It is a—_most—provoking_—thing,” he said at last, “when a person
doesn’t know a cravat from a belt!”

“I know it’s very ignorant of me,” Alice said, in so humble a tone that
Humpty Dumpty relented.

“It’s a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It’s a present
from the White King and Queen. There now!”

“Is it really?” said Alice, quite pleased to find that she _had_ chosen
a good subject, after all.

“They gave it me,” Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully, as he crossed
one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, “they gave it
me—for an un-birthday present.”

“I beg your pardon?” Alice said with a puzzled air.

“I’m not offended,” said Humpty Dumpty.

“I mean, what _is_ an un-birthday present?”

“A present given when it isn’t your birthday, of course.”

Alice considered a little. “I like birthday presents best,” she said at
last.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” cried Humpty Dumpty. “How
many days are there in a year?”

“Three hundred and sixty-five,” said Alice.

“And how many birthdays have you?”

“One.”

“And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five, what remains?”

“Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.”

Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful. “I’d rather see that done on paper,” he
said.

Alice couldn’t help smiling as she took out her memorandum-book, and
worked the sum for him:

365
1
____
364
___

Humpty Dumpty took the book, and looked at it carefully. “That seems to
be done right—” he began.

“You’re holding it upside down!” Alice interrupted.

“To be sure I was!” Humpty Dumpty said gaily, as she turned it round
for him. “I thought it looked a little queer. As I was saying, that
_seems_ to be done right—though I haven’t time to look it over
thoroughly just now—and that shows that there are three hundred and
sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents—”

“Certainly,” said Alice.

“And only _one_ for birthday presents, you know. There’s glory for
you!”

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory,’” Alice said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t—till I tell
you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’”

“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument,’” Alice
objected.

“When _I_ use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
“it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you _can_ make words mean so
many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s
all.”

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty
Dumpty began again. “They’ve a temper, some of them—particularly verbs,
they’re the proudest—adjectives you can do anything with, but not
verbs—however, _I_ can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability!
That’s what _I_ say!”

“Would you tell me, please,” said Alice “what that means?”

“Now you talk like a reasonable child,” said Humpty Dumpty, looking
very much pleased. “I meant by ‘impenetrability’ that we’ve had enough
of that subject, and it would be just as well if you’d mention what you
mean to do next, as I suppose you don’t mean to stop here all the rest
of your life.”

“That’s a great deal to make one word mean,” Alice said in a thoughtful
tone.

“When I make a word do a lot of work like that,” said Humpty Dumpty, “I
always pay it extra.”

“Oh!” said Alice. She was too much puzzled to make any other remark.

“Ah, you should see ’em come round me of a Saturday night,” Humpty
Dumpty went on, wagging his head gravely from side to side: “for to get
their wages, you know.”

(Alice didn’t venture to ask what he paid them with; and so you see I
can’t tell _you_.)

“You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir,” said Alice. “Would you
kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called ‘Jabberwocky’?”

“Let’s hear it,” said Humpty Dumpty. “I can explain all the poems that
were ever invented—and a good many that haven’t been invented just
yet.”

This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first verse:

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“That’s enough to begin with,” Humpty Dumpty interrupted: “there are
plenty of hard words there. ‘_Brillig_’ means four o’clock in the
afternoon—the time when you begin _broiling_ things for dinner.”

“That’ll do very well,” said Alice: “and ‘_slithy_’?”

“Well, ‘_slithy_’ means ‘lithe and slimy.’ ‘Lithe’ is the same as
‘active.’ You see it’s like a portmanteau—there are two meanings packed
up into one word.”

“I see it now,” Alice remarked thoughtfully: “and what are ‘_toves_’?”

“Well, ‘_toves_’ are something like badgers—they’re something like
lizards—and they’re something like corkscrews.”

“They must be very curious looking creatures.”

“They are that,” said Humpty Dumpty: “also they make their nests under
sun-dials—also they live on cheese.”

“And what’s the ‘_gyre_’ and to ‘_gimble_’?”

“To ‘_gyre_’ is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To ‘_gimble_’
is to make holes like a gimlet.”

“And ‘_the wabe_’ is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I suppose?” said
Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity.

“Of course it is. It’s called ‘_wabe_,’ you know, because it goes a
long way before it, and a long way behind it—”

“And a long way beyond it on each side,” Alice added.

“Exactly so. Well, then, ‘_mimsy_’ is ‘flimsy and miserable’ (there’s
another portmanteau for you). And a ‘_borogove_’ is a thin
shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round—something
like a live mop.”

“And then ‘_mome raths_’?” said Alice. “I’m afraid I’m giving you a
great deal of trouble.”

“Well, a ‘_rath_’ is a sort of green pig: but ‘_mome_’ I’m not certain
about. I think it’s short for ‘from home’—meaning that they’d lost
their way, you know.”

“And what does ‘_outgrabe_’ mean?”

“Well, ‘_outgrabing_’ is something between bellowing and whistling,
with a kind of sneeze in the middle: however, you’ll hear it done,
maybe—down in the wood yonder—and when you’ve once heard it you’ll be
_quite_ content. Who’s been repeating all that hard stuff to you?”

“I read it in a book,” said Alice. “But I had some poetry repeated to
me, much easier than that, by—Tweedledee, I think it was.”

“As to poetry, you know,” said Humpty Dumpty, stretching out one of his
great hands, “_I_ can repeat poetry as well as other folk, if it comes
to that—”

“Oh, it needn’t come to that!” Alice hastily said, hoping to keep him
from beginning.

“The piece I’m going to repeat,” he went on without noticing her
remark, “was written entirely for your amusement.”

Alice felt that in that case she really _ought_ to listen to it, so she
sat down, and said “Thank you” rather sadly.

“In winter, when the fields are white,
I sing this song for your delight—

only I don’t sing it,” he added, as an explanation.

“I see you don’t,” said Alice.

“If you can _see_ whether I’m singing or not, you’ve sharper eyes than
most.” Humpty Dumpty remarked severely. Alice was silent.

“In spring, when woods are getting green,
I’ll try and tell you what I mean.”

“Thank you very much,” said Alice.

“In summer, when the days are long,
Perhaps you’ll understand the song:

In autumn, when the leaves are brown,
Take pen and ink, and write it down.”

“I will, if I can remember it so long,” said Alice.

“You needn’t go on making remarks like that,” Humpty Dumpty said:
“they’re not sensible, and they put me out.”

“I sent a message to the fish:
I told them ‘This is what I wish.’

The little fishes of the sea,
They sent an answer back to me.

The little fishes’ answer was
‘We cannot do it, Sir, because—’”

“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand,” said Alice.

“It gets easier further on,” Humpty Dumpty replied.

“I sent to them again to say
‘It will be better to obey.’

The fishes answered with a grin,
‘Why, what a temper you are in!’

I told them once, I told them twice:
They would not listen to advice.

I took a kettle large and new,
Fit for the deed I had to do.

My heart went hop, my heart went thump;
I filled the kettle at the pump.

Then some one came to me and said,
‘The little fishes are in bed.’

I said to him, I said it plain,
‘Then you must wake them up again.’

I said it very loud and clear;
I went and shouted in his ear.”

Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream as he repeated this
verse, and Alice thought with a shudder, “I wouldn’t have been the
messenger for _anything_!”

“But he was very stiff and proud;
He said ‘You needn’t shout so loud!’

And he was very proud and stiff;
He said ‘I’d go and wake them, if—’

I took a corkscrew from the shelf:
I went to wake them up myself.

And when I found the door was locked,
I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked.

And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, but—”

There was a long pause.

“Is that all?” Alice timidly asked.

“That’s all,” said Humpty Dumpty. “Good-bye.”

This was rather sudden, Alice thought: but, after such a _very_ strong
hint that she ought to be going, she felt that it would hardly be civil
to stay. So she got up, and held out her hand. “Good-bye, till we meet
again!” she said as cheerfully as she could.

“I shouldn’t know you again if we _did_ meet,” Humpty Dumpty replied in
a discontented tone, giving her one of his fingers to shake; “you’re so
exactly like other people.”

“The face is what one goes by, generally,” Alice remarked in a
thoughtful tone.

“That’s just what I complain of,” said Humpty Dumpty. “Your face is the
same as everybody has—the two eyes, so—” (marking their places in the
air with this thumb) “nose in the middle, mouth under. It’s always the
same. Now if you had the two eyes on the same side of the nose, for
instance—or the mouth at the top—that would be _some_ help.”

“It wouldn’t look nice,” Alice objected. But Humpty Dumpty only shut
his eyes and said “Wait till you’ve tried.”

Alice waited a minute to see if he would speak again, but as he never
opened his eyes or took any further notice of her, she said “Good-bye!”
once more, and, getting no answer to this, she quietly walked away: but
she couldn’t help saying to herself as she went, “Of all the
unsatisfactory—” (she repeated this aloud, as it was a great comfort to
have such a long word to say) “of all the unsatisfactory people I
_ever_ met—” She never finished the sentence, for at this moment a
heavy crash shook the forest from end to end.

CHAPTER VII.
The Lion and the Unicorn

The next moment soldiers came running through the wood, at first in
twos and threes, then ten or twenty together, and at last in such
crowds that they seemed to fill the whole forest. Alice got behind a
tree, for fear of being run over, and watched them go by.

She thought that in all her life she had never seen soldiers so
uncertain on their feet: they were always tripping over something or
other, and whenever one went down, several more always fell over him,
so that the ground was soon covered with little heaps of men.

Then came the horses. Having four feet, these managed rather better
than the foot-soldiers: but even _they_ stumbled now and then; and it
seemed to be a regular rule that, whenever a horse stumbled the rider
fell off instantly. The confusion got worse every moment, and Alice was
very glad to get out of the wood into an open place, where she found
the White King seated on the ground, busily writing in his
memorandum-book.

“I’ve sent them all!” the King cried in a tone of delight, on seeing
Alice. “Did you happen to meet any soldiers, my dear, as you came
through the wood?”

“Yes, I did,” said Alice: “several thousand, I should think.”

“Four thousand two hundred and seven, that’s the exact number,” the
King said, referring to his book. “I couldn’t send all the horses, you
know, because two of them are wanted in the game. And I haven’t sent
the two Messengers, either. They’re both gone to the town. Just look
along the road, and tell me if you can see either of them.”

“I see nobody on the road,” said Alice.

“I only wish _I_ had such eyes,” the King remarked in a fretful tone.
“To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance, too! Why, it’s as much
as _I_ can do to see real people, by this light!”

All this was lost on Alice, who was still looking intently along the
road, shading her eyes with one hand. “I see somebody now!” she
exclaimed at last. “But he’s coming very slowly—and what curious
attitudes he goes into!” (For the messenger kept skipping up and down,
and wriggling like an eel, as he came along, with his great hands
spread out like fans on each side.)

“Not at all,” said the King. “He’s an Anglo-Saxon Messenger—and those
are Anglo-Saxon attitudes. He only does them when he’s happy. His name
is Haigha.” (He pronounced it so as to rhyme with “mayor.”)

“I love my love with an H,” Alice couldn’t help beginning, “because he
is Happy. I hate him with an H, because he is Hideous. I fed him
with—with—with Ham-sandwiches and Hay. His name is Haigha, and he
lives—”

“He lives on the Hill,” the King remarked simply, without the least
idea that he was joining in the game, while Alice was still hesitating
for the name of a town beginning with H. “The other Messenger’s called
Hatta. I must have _two_, you know—to come and go. One to come, and one
to go.”

“I beg your pardon?” said Alice.

“It isn’t respectable to beg,” said the King.

“I only meant that I didn’t understand,” said Alice. “Why one to come
and one to go?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” the King repeated impatiently. “I must have
_two_—to fetch and carry. One to fetch, and one to carry.”

At this moment the Messenger arrived: he was far too much out of breath
to say a word, and could only wave his hands about, and make the most
fearful faces at the poor King.

“This young lady loves you with an H,” the King said, introducing Alice
in the hope of turning off the Messenger’s attention from himself—but
it was no use—the Anglo-Saxon attitudes only got more extraordinary
every moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly from side to side.

“You alarm me!” said the King. “I feel faint—Give me a ham sandwich!”

On which the Messenger, to Alice’s great amusement, opened a bag that
hung round his neck, and handed a sandwich to the King, who devoured it
greedily.

“Another sandwich!” said the King.

“There’s nothing but hay left now,” the Messenger said, peeping into
the bag.

“Hay, then,” the King murmured in a faint whisper.

Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal. “There’s nothing
like eating hay when you’re faint,” he remarked to her, as he munched
away.

“I should think throwing cold water over you would be better,” Alice
suggested: “or some sal-volatile.”

“I didn’t say there was nothing _better_,” the King replied. “I said
there was nothing _like_ it.” Which Alice did not venture to deny.

“Who did you pass on the road?” the King went on, holding out his hand
to the Messenger for some more hay.

“Nobody,” said the Messenger.

“Quite right,” said the King: “this young lady saw him too. So of
course Nobody walks slower than you.”

“I do my best,” the Messenger said in a sulky tone. “I’m sure nobody
walks much faster than I do!”

“He can’t do that,” said the King, “or else he’d have been here first.
However, now you’ve got your breath, you may tell us what’s happened in
the town.”

“I’ll whisper it,” said the Messenger, putting his hands to his mouth
in the shape of a trumpet, and stooping so as to get close to the
King’s ear. Alice was sorry for this, as she wanted to hear the news
too. However, instead of whispering, he simply shouted at the top of
his voice “They’re at it again!”

“Do you call _that_ a whisper?” cried the poor King, jumping up and
shaking himself. “If you do such a thing again, I’ll have you buttered!
It went through and through my head like an earthquake!”

“It would have to be a very tiny earthquake!” thought Alice. “Who are
at it again?” she ventured to ask.

“Why the Lion and the Unicorn, of course,” said the King.

“Fighting for the crown?”

“Yes, to be sure,” said the King: “and the best of the joke is, that
it’s _my_ crown all the while! Let’s run and see them.” And they
trotted off, Alice repeating to herself, as she ran, the words of the
old song:—

“The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown:
The Lion beat the Unicorn all round the town.
Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown;
Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of town.”

“Does—the one—that wins—get the crown?” she asked, as well as she
could, for the run was putting her quite out of breath.

“Dear me, no!” said the King. “What an idea!”

“Would you—be good enough,” Alice panted out, after running a little
further, “to stop a minute—just to get—one’s breath again?”

“I’m _good_ enough,” the King said, “only I’m not strong enough. You
see, a minute goes by so fearfully quick. You might as well try to stop
a Bandersnatch!”

Alice had no more breath for talking, so they trotted on in silence,
till they came in sight of a great crowd, in the middle of which the
Lion and Unicorn were fighting. They were in such a cloud of dust, that
at first Alice could not make out which was which: but she soon managed
to distinguish the Unicorn by his horn.

They placed themselves close to where Hatta, the other messenger, was
standing watching the fight, with a cup of tea in one hand and a piece
of bread-and-butter in the other.

“He’s only just out of prison, and he hadn’t finished his tea when he
was sent in,” Haigha whispered to Alice: “and they only give them
oyster-shells in there—so you see he’s very hungry and thirsty. How are
you, dear child?” he went on, putting his arm affectionately round
Hatta’s neck.

Hatta looked round and nodded, and went on with his bread and butter.

“Were you happy in prison, dear child?” said Haigha.

Hatta looked round once more, and this time a tear or two trickled down
his cheek: but not a word would he say.

“Speak, can’t you!” Haigha cried impatiently. But Hatta only munched
away, and drank some more tea.

“Speak, won’t you!” cried the King. “How are they getting on with the
fight?”

Hatta made a desperate effort, and swallowed a large piece of
bread-and-butter. “They’re getting on very well,” he said in a choking
voice: “each of them has been down about eighty-seven times.”

“Then I suppose they’ll soon bring the white bread and the brown?”
Alice ventured to remark.

“It’s waiting for ’em now,” said Hatta: “this is a bit of it as I’m
eating.”

There was a pause in the fight just then, and the Lion and the Unicorn
sat down, panting, while the King called out “Ten minutes allowed for
refreshments!” Haigha and Hatta set to work at once, carrying rough
trays of white and brown bread. Alice took a piece to taste, but it was
_very_ dry.

“I don’t think they’ll fight any more to-day,” the King said to Hatta:
“go and order the drums to begin.” And Hatta went bounding away like a
grasshopper.

For a minute or two Alice stood silent, watching him. Suddenly she
brightened up. “Look, look!” she cried, pointing eagerly. “There’s the
White Queen running across the country! She came flying out of the wood
over yonder—How fast those Queens _can_ run!”

“There’s some enemy after her, no doubt,” the King said, without even
looking round. “That wood’s full of them.”

“But aren’t you going to run and help her?” Alice asked, very much
surprised at his taking it so quietly.

“No use, no use!” said the King. “She runs so fearfully quick. You
might as well try to catch a Bandersnatch! But I’ll make a memorandum
about her, if you like—She’s a dear good creature,” he repeated softly
to himself, as he opened his memorandum-book. “Do you spell ‘creature’
with a double ‘e’?”

At this moment the Unicorn sauntered by them, with his hands in his
pockets. “I had the best of it this time?” he said to the King, just
glancing at him as he passed.

“A little—a little,” the King replied, rather nervously. “You shouldn’t
have run him through with your horn, you know.”

“It didn’t hurt him,” the Unicorn said carelessly, and he was going on,
when his eye happened to fall upon Alice: he turned round rather
instantly, and stood for some time looking at her with an air of the
deepest disgust.

“What—is—this?” he said at last.

“This is a child!” Haigha replied eagerly, coming in front of Alice to
introduce her, and spreading out both his hands towards her in an
Anglo-Saxon attitude. “We only found it to-day. It’s as large as life,
and twice as natural!”

“I always thought they were fabulous monsters!” said the Unicorn. “Is
it alive?”

“It can talk,” said Haigha, solemnly.

The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said “Talk, child.”

Alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile as she began: “Do
you know, I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters, too! I
never saw one alive before!”

“Well, now that we _have_ seen each other,” said the Unicorn, “if
you’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in you. Is that a bargain?”

“Yes, if you like,” said Alice.

“Come, fetch out the plum-cake, old man!” the Unicorn went on, turning
from her to the King. “None of your brown bread for me!”

“Certainly—certainly!” the King muttered, and beckoned to Haigha. “Open
the bag!” he whispered. “Quick! Not that one—that’s full of hay!”

Haigha took a large cake out of the bag, and gave it to Alice to hold,
while he got out a dish and carving-knife. How they all came out of it
Alice couldn’t guess. It was just like a conjuring-trick, she thought.

The Lion had joined them while this was going on: he looked very tired
and sleepy, and his eyes were half shut. “What’s this!” he said,
blinking lazily at Alice, and speaking in a deep hollow tone that
sounded like the tolling of a great bell.

“Ah, what _is_ it, now?” the Unicorn cried eagerly. “You’ll never
guess! _I_ couldn’t.”

The Lion looked at Alice wearily. “Are you animal—vegetable—or
mineral?” he said, yawning at every other word.

“It’s a fabulous monster!” the Unicorn cried out, before Alice could
reply.

“Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster,” the Lion said, lying down and
putting his chin on his paws. “And sit down, both of you,” (to the King
and the Unicorn): “fair play with the cake, you know!”

The King was evidently very uncomfortable at having to sit down between
the two great creatures; but there was no other place for him.

“What a fight we might have for the crown, _now_!” the Unicorn said,
looking slyly up at the crown, which the poor King was nearly shaking
off his head, he trembled so much.

“I should win easy,” said the Lion.

“I’m not so sure of that,” said the Unicorn.

“Why, I beat you all round the town, you chicken!” the Lion replied
angrily, half getting up as he spoke.

Here the King interrupted, to prevent the quarrel going on: he was very
nervous, and his voice quite quivered. “All round the town?” he said.
“That’s a good long way. Did you go by the old bridge, or the
market-place? You get the best view by the old bridge.”

“I’m sure I don’t know,” the Lion growled out as he lay down again.
“There was too much dust to see anything. What a time the Monster is,
cutting up that cake!”

Alice had seated herself on the bank of a little brook, with the great
dish on her knees, and was sawing away diligently with the knife. “It’s
very provoking!” she said, in reply to the Lion (she was getting quite
used to being called “the Monster”). “I’ve cut several slices already,
but they always join on again!”

“You don’t know how to manage Looking-glass cakes,” the Unicorn
remarked. “Hand it round first, and cut it afterwards.”

This sounded nonsense, but Alice very obediently got up, and carried
the dish round, and the cake divided itself into three pieces as she
did so. “_Now_ cut it up,” said the Lion, as she returned to her place
with the empty dish.

“I say, this isn’t fair!” cried the Unicorn, as Alice sat with the
knife in her hand, very much puzzled how to begin. “The Monster has
given the Lion twice as much as me!”

“She’s kept none for herself, anyhow,” said the Lion. “Do you like
plum-cake, Monster?”

But before Alice could answer him, the drums began.

Where the noise came from, she couldn’t make out: the air seemed full
of it, and it rang through and through her head till she felt quite
deafened. She started to her feet and sprang across the little brook in
her terror,

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

and had just time to see the Lion and the Unicorn rise to their feet,
with angry looks at being interrupted in their feast, before she
dropped to her knees, and put her hands over her ears, vainly trying to
shut out the dreadful uproar.

“If _that_ doesn’t ‘drum them out of town,’” she thought to herself,
“nothing ever will!”

CHAPTER VIII.
“It’s my own Invention”

After a while the noise seemed gradually to die away, till all was dead
silence, and Alice lifted up her head in some alarm. There was no one
to be seen, and her first thought was that she must have been dreaming
about the Lion and the Unicorn and those queer Anglo-Saxon Messengers.
However, there was the great dish still lying at her feet, on which she
had tried to cut the plum-cake, “So I wasn’t dreaming, after all,” she
said to herself, “unless—unless we’re all part of the same dream. Only
I do hope it’s _my_ dream, and not the Red King’s! I don’t like
belonging to another person’s dream,” she went on in a rather
complaining tone: “I’ve a great mind to go and wake him, and see what
happens!”

At this moment her thoughts were interrupted by a loud shouting of
“Ahoy! Ahoy! Check!” and a Knight dressed in crimson armour came
galloping down upon her, brandishing a great club. Just as he reached
her, the horse stopped suddenly: “You’re my prisoner!” the Knight
cried, as he tumbled off his horse.

Startled as she was, Alice was more frightened for him than for herself
at the moment, and watched him with some anxiety as he mounted again.
As soon as he was comfortably in the saddle, he began once more “You’re
my—” but here another voice broke in “Ahoy! Ahoy! Check!” and Alice
looked round in some surprise for the new enemy.

This time it was a White Knight. He drew up at Alice’s side, and
tumbled off his horse just as the Red Knight had done: then he got on
again, and the two Knights sat and looked at each other for some time
without speaking. Alice looked from one to the other in some
bewilderment.

“She’s _my_ prisoner, you know!” the Red Knight said at last.

“Yes, but then _I_ came and rescued her!” the White Knight replied.

“Well, we must fight for her, then,” said the Red Knight, as he took up
his helmet (which hung from the saddle, and was something the shape of
a horse’s head), and put it on.

“You will observe the Rules of Battle, of course?” the White Knight
remarked, putting on his helmet too.

“I always do,” said the Red Knight, and they began banging away at each
other with such fury that Alice got behind a tree to be out of the way
of the blows.

“I wonder, now, what the Rules of Battle are,” she said to herself, as
she watched the fight, timidly peeping out from her hiding-place: “one
Rule seems to be, that if one Knight hits the other, he knocks him off
his horse, and if he misses, he tumbles off himself—and another Rule
seems to be that they hold their clubs with their arms, as if they were
Punch and Judy—What a noise they make when they tumble! Just like a
whole set of fire-irons falling into the fender! And how quiet the
horses are! They let them get on and off them just as if they were
tables!”

Another Rule of Battle, that Alice had not noticed, seemed to be that
they always fell on their heads, and the battle ended with their both
falling off in this way, side by side: when they got up again, they
shook hands, and then the Red Knight mounted and galloped off.

“It was a glorious victory, wasn’t it?” said the White Knight, as he
came up panting.

“I don’t know,” Alice said doubtfully. “I don’t want to be anybody’s
prisoner. I want to be a Queen.”

“So you will, when you’ve crossed the next brook,” said the White
Knight. “I’ll see you safe to the end of the wood—and then I must go
back, you know. That’s the end of my move.”

“Thank you very much,” said Alice. “May I help you off with your
helmet?” It was evidently more than he could manage by himself;
however, she managed to shake him out of it at last.

“Now one can breathe more easily,” said the Knight, putting back his
shaggy hair with both hands, and turning his gentle face and large mild
eyes to Alice. She thought she had never seen such a strange-looking
soldier in all her life.

He was dressed in tin armour, which seemed to fit him very badly, and
he had a queer-shaped little deal box fastened across his shoulder,
upside-down, and with the lid hanging open. Alice looked at it with
great curiosity.

“I see you’re admiring my little box.” the Knight said in a friendly
tone. “It’s my own invention—to keep clothes and sandwiches in. You see
I carry it upside-down, so that the rain can’t get in.”

“But the things can get _out_,” Alice gently remarked. “Do you know the
lid’s open?”

“I didn’t know it,” the Knight said, a shade of vexation passing over
his face. “Then all the things must have fallen out! And the box is no
use without them.” He unfastened it as he spoke, and was just going to
throw it into the bushes, when a sudden thought seemed to strike him,
and he hung it carefully on a tree. “Can you guess why I did that?” he
said to Alice.

Alice shook her head.

“In hopes some bees may make a nest in it—then I should get the honey.”

“But you’ve got a bee-hive—or something like one—fastened to the
saddle,” said Alice.

“Yes, it’s a very good bee-hive,” the Knight said in a discontented
tone, “one of the best kind. But not a single bee has come near it yet.
And the other thing is a mouse-trap. I suppose the mice keep the bees
out—or the bees keep the mice out, I don’t know which.”

“I was wondering what the mouse-trap was for,” said Alice. “It isn’t
very likely there would be any mice on the horse’s back.”

“Not very likely, perhaps,” said the Knight: “but if they _do_ come, I
don’t choose to have them running all about.”

“You see,” he went on after a pause, “it’s as well to be provided for
_everything_. That’s the reason the horse has all those anklets round
his feet.”

“But what are they for?” Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity.

“To guard against the bites of sharks,” the Knight replied. “It’s an
invention of my own. And now help me on. I’ll go with you to the end of
the wood—What’s the dish for?”

“It’s meant for plum-cake,” said Alice.

“We’d better take it with us,” the Knight said. “It’ll come in handy if
we find any plum-cake. Help me to get it into this bag.”

This took a very long time to manage, though Alice held the bag open
very carefully, because the Knight was so _very_ awkward in putting in
the dish: the first two or three times that he tried he fell in himself
instead. “It’s rather a tight fit, you see,” he said, as they got it in
a last; “There are so many candlesticks in the bag.” And he hung it to
the saddle, which was already loaded with bunches of carrots, and
fire-irons, and many other things.

“I hope you’ve got your hair well fastened on?” he continued, as they
set off.

“Only in the usual way,” Alice said, smiling.

“That’s hardly enough,” he said, anxiously. “You see the wind is so
_very_ strong here. It’s as strong as soup.”

“Have you invented a plan for keeping the hair from being blown off?”
Alice enquired.

“Not yet,” said the Knight. “But I’ve got a plan for keeping it from
_falling_ off.”

“I should like to hear it, very much.”

“First you take an upright stick,” said the Knight. “Then you make your
hair creep up it, like a fruit-tree. Now the reason hair falls off is
because it hangs _down_—things never fall _upwards_, you know. It’s a
plan of my own invention. You may try it if you like.”

It didn’t sound a comfortable plan, Alice thought, and for a few
minutes she walked on in silence, puzzling over the idea, and every now
and then stopping to help the poor Knight, who certainly was _not_ a
good rider.

Whenever the horse stopped (which it did very often), he fell off in
front; and whenever it went on again (which it generally did rather
suddenly), he fell off behind. Otherwise he kept on pretty well, except
that he had a habit of now and then falling off sideways; and as he
generally did this on the side on which Alice was walking, she soon
found that it was the best plan not to walk _quite_ close to the horse.

“I’m afraid you’ve not had much practice in riding,” she ventured to
say, as she was helping him up from his fifth tumble.

The Knight looked very much surprised, and a little offended at the
remark. “What makes you say that?” he asked, as he scrambled back into
the saddle, keeping hold of Alice’s hair with one hand, to save himself
from falling over on the other side.

“Because people don’t fall off quite so often, when they’ve had much
practice.”

“I’ve had plenty of practice,” the Knight said very gravely: “plenty of
practice!”

Alice could think of nothing better to say than “Indeed?” but she said
it as heartily as she could. They went on a little way in silence after
this, the Knight with his eyes shut, muttering to himself, and Alice
watching anxiously for the next tumble.

“The great art of riding,” the Knight suddenly began in a loud voice,
waving his right arm as he spoke, “is to keep—” Here the sentence ended
as suddenly as it had begun, as the Knight fell heavily on the top of
his head exactly in the path where Alice was walking. She was quite
frightened this time, and said in an anxious tone, as she picked him
up, “I hope no bones are broken?”

“None to speak of,” the Knight said, as if he didn’t mind breaking two
or three of them. “The great art of riding, as I was saying, is—to keep
your balance properly. Like this, you know—”

He let go the bridle, and stretched out both his arms to show Alice
what he meant, and this time he fell flat on his back, right under the
horse’s feet.

“Plenty of practice!” he went on repeating, all the time that Alice was
getting him on his feet again. “Plenty of practice!”

“It’s too ridiculous!” cried Alice, losing all her patience this time.
“You ought to have a wooden horse on wheels, that you ought!”

“Does that kind go smoothly?” the Knight asked in a tone of great
interest, clasping his arms round the horse’s neck as he spoke, just in
time to save himself from tumbling off again.

“Much more smoothly than a live horse,” Alice said, with a little
scream of laughter, in spite of all she could do to prevent it.

“I’ll get one,” the Knight said thoughtfully to himself. “One or
two—several.”

There was a short silence after this, and then the Knight went on
again. “I’m a great hand at inventing things. Now, I daresay you
noticed, that last time you picked me up, that I was looking rather
thoughtful?”

“You _were_ a little grave,” said Alice.

“Well, just then I was inventing a new way of getting over a gate—would
you like to hear it?”

“Very much indeed,” Alice said politely.

“I’ll tell you how I came to think of it,” said the Knight. “You see, I
said to myself, ‘The only difficulty is with the feet: the _head_ is
high enough already.’ Now, first I put my head on the top of the
gate—then I stand on my head—then the feet are high enough, you
see—then I’m over, you see.”

“Yes, I suppose you’d be over when that was done,” Alice said
thoughtfully: “but don’t you think it would be rather hard?”

“I haven’t tried it yet,” the Knight said, gravely: “so I can’t tell
for certain—but I’m afraid it _would_ be a little hard.”

He looked so vexed at the idea, that Alice changed the subject hastily.
“What a curious helmet you’ve got!” she said cheerfully. “Is that your
invention too?”

The Knight looked down proudly at his helmet, which hung from the
saddle. “Yes,” he said, “but I’ve invented a better one than that—like
a sugar loaf. When I used to wear it, if I fell off the horse, it
always touched the ground directly. So I had a _very_ little way to
fall, you see—But there _was_ the danger of falling _into_ it, to be
sure. That happened to me once—and the worst of it was, before I could
get out again, the other White Knight came and put it on. He thought it
was his own helmet.”

The knight looked so solemn about it that Alice did not dare to laugh.
“I’m afraid you must have hurt him,” she said in a trembling voice,
“being on the top of his head.”

“I had to kick him, of course,” the Knight said, very seriously. “And
then he took the helmet off again—but it took hours and hours to get me
out. I was as fast as—as lightning, you know.”

“But that’s a different kind of fastness,” Alice objected.

The Knight shook his head. “It was all kinds of fastness with me, I can
assure you!” he said. He raised his hands in some excitement as he said
this, and instantly rolled out of the saddle, and fell headlong into a
deep ditch.

Alice ran to the side of the ditch to look for him. She was rather
startled by the fall, as for some time he had kept on very well, and
she was afraid that he really _was_ hurt this time. However, though she
could see nothing but the soles of his feet, she was much relieved to
hear that he was talking on in his usual tone. “All kinds of fastness,”
he repeated: “but it was careless of him to put another man’s helmet
on—with the man in it, too.”

“How _can_ you go on talking so quietly, head downwards?” Alice asked,
as she dragged him out by the feet, and laid him in a heap on the bank.

The Knight looked surprised at the question. “What does it matter where
my body happens to be?” he said. “My mind goes on working all the same.
In fact, the more head downwards I am, the more I keep inventing new
things.”

“Now the cleverest thing of the sort that I ever did,” he went on after
a pause, “was inventing a new pudding during the meat-course.”

“In time to have it cooked for the next course?” said Alice.

“Well, not the _next_ course,” the Knight said in a slow thoughtful
tone: “no, certainly not the next _course_.”

“Then it would have to be the next day. I suppose you wouldn’t have two
pudding-courses in one dinner?”

“Well, not the _next_ day,” the Knight repeated as before: “not the
next _day_. In fact,” he went on, holding his head down, and his voice
getting lower and lower, “I don’t believe that pudding ever _was_
cooked! In fact, I don’t believe that pudding ever _will_ be cooked!
And yet it was a very clever pudding to invent.”

“What did you mean it to be made of?” Alice asked, hoping to cheer him
up, for the poor Knight seemed quite low-spirited about it.

“It began with blotting paper,” the Knight answered with a groan.

“That wouldn’t be very nice, I’m afraid—”

“Not very nice _alone_,” he interrupted, quite eagerly: “but you’ve no
idea what a difference it makes mixing it with other things—such as
gunpowder and sealing-wax. And here I must leave you.” They had just
come to the end of the wood.

Alice could only look puzzled: she was thinking of the pudding.

“You are sad,” the Knight said in an anxious tone: “let me sing you a
song to comfort you.”

“Is it very long?” Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry
that day.

“It’s long,” said the Knight, “but very, _very_ beautiful. Everybody
that hears me sing it—either it brings the _tears_ into their eyes, or
else—”

“Or else what?” said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause.

“Or else it doesn’t, you know. The name of the song is called
‘_Haddocks’ Eyes_.’”

“Oh, that’s the name of the song, is it?” Alice said, trying to feel
interested.

“No, you don’t understand,” the Knight said, looking a little vexed.
“That’s what the name is _called_. The name really _is_ ‘_The Aged Aged
Man_.’”

“Then I ought to have said ‘That’s what the _song_ is called’?” Alice
corrected herself.

“No, you oughtn’t: that’s quite another thing! The _song_ is called
‘_Ways and Means_’: but that’s only what it’s _called_, you know!”

“Well, what _is_ the song, then?” said Alice, who was by this time
completely bewildered.

“I was coming to that,” the Knight said. “The song really _is_
‘_A-sitting On A Gate_’: and the tune’s my own invention.”

So saying, he stopped his horse and let the reins fall on its neck:
then, slowly beating time with one hand, and with a faint smile
lighting up his gentle foolish face, as if he enjoyed the music of his
song, he began.

Of all the strange things that Alice saw in her journey Through The
Looking-Glass, this was the one that she always remembered most
clearly. Years afterwards she could bring the whole scene back again,
as if it had been only yesterday—the mild blue eyes and kindly smile of
the Knight—the setting sun gleaming through his hair, and shining on
his armour in a blaze of light that quite dazzled her—the horse quietly
moving about, with the reins hanging loose on his neck, cropping the
grass at her feet—and the black shadows of the forest behind—all this
she took in like a picture, as, with one hand shading her eyes, she
leant against a tree, watching the strange pair, and listening, in a
half dream, to the melancholy music of the song.

“But the tune _isn’t_ his own invention,” she said to herself: “it’s
‘_I give thee all, I can no more_.’” She stood and listened very
attentively, but no tears came into her eyes.

“I’ll tell thee everything I can;
There’s little to relate.
I saw an aged aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
‘Who are you, aged man?’ I said,
‘and how is it you live?’
And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve.

He said ‘I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat:
I make them into mutton-pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men,’ he said,
‘Who sail on stormy seas;
And that’s the way I get my bread—
A trifle, if you please.’

But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one’s whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried, ‘Come, tell me how you live!’
And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said ‘I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rolands’ Macassar Oil—
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil.’

But I was thinking of a way
To feed oneself on batter,
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter.
I shook him well from side to side,
Until his face was blue:
‘Come, tell me how you live,’ I cried,
‘And what it is you do!’

He said ‘I hunt for haddocks’ eyes
Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat-buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine
But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.

‘I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs;
I sometimes search the grassy knolls
For wheels of Hansom-cabs.
And that’s the way’ (he gave a wink)
‘By which I get my wealth—
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honour’s noble health.’

I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,
But chiefly for his wish that he
Might drink my noble health.

And now, if e’er by chance I put
My fingers into glue
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
I weep, for it reminds me so,
Of that old man I used to know—
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow,
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
Who snorted like a buffalo—
That summer evening, long ago,
A-sitting on a gate.”

As the Knight sang the last words of the ballad, he gathered up the
reins, and turned his horse’s head along the road by which they had
come. “You’ve only a few yards to go,” he said, “down the hill and over
that little brook, and then you’ll be a Queen—But you’ll stay and see
me off first?” he added as Alice turned with an eager look in the
direction to which he pointed. “I shan’t be long. You’ll wait and wave
your handkerchief when I get to that turn in the road? I think it’ll
encourage me, you see.”

“Of course I’ll wait,” said Alice: “and thank you very much for coming
so far—and for the song—I liked it very much.”

“I hope so,” the Knight said doubtfully: “but you didn’t cry so much as
I thought you would.”

So they shook hands, and then the Knight rode slowly away into the
forest. “It won’t take long to see him _off_, I expect,” Alice said to
herself, as she stood watching him. “There he goes! Right on his head
as usual! However, he gets on again pretty easily—that comes of having
so many things hung round the horse—” So she went on talking to
herself, as she watched the horse walking leisurely along the road, and
the Knight tumbling off, first on one side and then on the other. After
the fourth or fifth tumble he reached the turn, and then she waved her
handkerchief to him, and waited till he was out of sight.

“I hope it encouraged him,” she said, as she turned to run down the
hill: “and now for the last brook, and to be a Queen! How grand it
sounds!” A very few steps brought her to the edge of the brook. “The
Eighth Square at last!” she cried as she bounded across,

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

and threw herself down to rest on a lawn as soft as moss, with little
flower-beds dotted about it here and there. “Oh, how glad I am to get
here! And what _is_ this on my head?” she exclaimed in a tone of
dismay, as she put her hands up to something very heavy, and fitted
tight all round her head.

“But how _can_ it have got there without my knowing it?” she said to
herself, as she lifted it off, and set it on her lap to make out what
it could possibly be.

It was a golden crown.

CHAPTER IX.
Queen Alice

“Well, this _is_ grand!” said Alice. “I never expected I should be a
Queen so soon—and I’ll tell you what it is, your majesty,” she went on
in a severe tone (she was always rather fond of scolding herself),
“it’ll never do for you to be lolling about on the grass like that!
Queens have to be dignified, you know!”

So she got up and walked about—rather stiffly just at first, as she was
afraid that the crown might come off: but she comforted herself with
the thought that there was nobody to see her, “and if I really am a
Queen,” she said as she sat down again, “I shall be able to manage it
quite well in time.”

Everything was happening so oddly that she didn’t feel a bit surprised
at finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sitting close to her, one
on each side: she would have liked very much to ask them how they came
there, but she feared it would not be quite civil. However, there would
be no harm, she thought, in asking if the game was over. “Please, would
you tell me—” she began, looking timidly at the Red Queen.

“Speak when you’re spoken to!” The Queen sharply interrupted her.

“But if everybody obeyed that rule,” said Alice, who was always ready
for a little argument, “and if you only spoke when you were spoken to,
and the other person always waited for _you_ to begin, you see nobody
would ever say anything, so that—”

“Ridiculous!” cried the Queen. “Why, don’t you see, child—” here she
broke off with a frown, and, after thinking for a minute, suddenly
changed the subject of the conversation. “What do you mean by ‘If you
really are a Queen’? What right have you to call yourself so? You can’t
be a Queen, you know, till you’ve passed the proper examination. And
the sooner we begin it, the better.”

“I only said ‘if’!” poor Alice pleaded in a piteous tone.

The two Queens looked at each other, and the Red Queen remarked, with a
little shudder, “She _says_ she only said ‘if’—”

“But she said a great deal more than that!” the White Queen moaned,
wringing her hands. “Oh, ever so much more than that!”

“So you did, you know,” the Red Queen said to Alice. “Always speak the
truth—think before you speak—and write it down afterwards.”

“I’m sure I didn’t mean—” Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen
interrupted her impatiently.

“That’s just what I complain of! You _should_ have meant! What do you
suppose is the use of child without any meaning? Even a joke should
have some meaning—and a child’s more important than a joke, I hope. You
couldn’t deny that, even if you tried with both hands.”

“I don’t deny things with my _hands_,” Alice objected.

“Nobody said you did,” said the Red Queen. “I said you couldn’t if you
tried.”

“She’s in that state of mind,” said the White Queen, “that she wants to
deny _something_—only she doesn’t know what to deny!”

“A nasty, vicious temper,” the Red Queen remarked; and then there was
an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two.

The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen, “I invite
you to Alice’s dinner-party this afternoon.”

The White Queen smiled feebly, and said “And I invite _you_.”

“I didn’t know I was to have a party at all,” said Alice; “but if there
is to be one, I think _I_ ought to invite the guests.”

“We gave you the opportunity of doing it,” the Red Queen remarked: “but
I daresay you’ve not had many lessons in manners yet?”

“Manners are not taught in lessons,” said Alice. “Lessons teach you to
do sums, and things of that sort.”

“And you do Addition?” the White Queen asked. “What’s one and one and
one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?”

“I don’t know,” said Alice. “I lost count.”

“She can’t do Addition,” the Red Queen interrupted. “Can you do
Subtraction? Take nine from eight.”

“Nine from eight I can’t, you know,” Alice replied very readily: “but—”

“She can’t do Subtraction,” said the White Queen. “Can you do Division?
Divide a loaf by a knife—what’s the answer to that?”

“I suppose—” Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her.
“Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone
from a dog: what remains?”

Alice considered. “The bone wouldn’t remain, of course, if I took
it—and the dog wouldn’t remain; it would come to bite me—and I’m sure
_I_ shouldn’t remain!”

“Then you think nothing would remain?” said the Red Queen.

“I think that’s the answer.”

“Wrong, as usual,” said the Red Queen: “the dog’s temper would remain.”

“But I don’t see how—”

“Why, look here!” the Red Queen cried. “The dog would lose its temper,
wouldn’t it?”

“Perhaps it would,” Alice replied cautiously.

“Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!” the Queen
exclaimed triumphantly.

Alice said, as gravely as she could, “They might go different ways.”
But she couldn’t help thinking to herself, “What dreadful nonsense we
_are_ talking!”

“She can’t do sums a _bit_!” the Queens said together, with great
emphasis.

“Can _you_ do sums?” Alice said, turning suddenly on the White Queen,
for she didn’t like being found fault with so much.

The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. “I can do Addition, if you give me
time—but I can’t do Subtraction, under _any_ circumstances!”

“Of course you know your A B C?” said the Red Queen.

“To be sure I do.” said Alice.

“So do I,” the White Queen whispered: “we’ll often say it over
together, dear. And I’ll tell you a secret—I can read words of one
letter! Isn’t _that_ grand! However, don’t be discouraged. You’ll come
to it in time.”

Here the Red Queen began again. “Can you answer useful questions?” she
said. “How is bread made?”

“I know _that_!” Alice cried eagerly. “You take some flour—”

“Where do you pick the flower?” the White Queen asked. “In a garden, or
in the hedges?”

“Well, it isn’t _picked_ at all,” Alice explained: “it’s _ground_—”

“How many acres of ground?” said the White Queen. “You mustn’t leave
out so many things.”

“Fan her head!” the Red Queen anxiously interrupted. “She’ll be
feverish after so much thinking.” So they set to work and fanned her
with bunches of leaves, till she had to beg them to leave off, it blew
her hair about so.

“She’s all right again now,” said the Red Queen. “Do you know
Languages? What’s the French for fiddle-de-dee?”

“Fiddle-de-dee’s not English,” Alice replied gravely.

“Who ever said it was?” said the Red Queen.

Alice thought she saw a way out of the difficulty this time. “If you’ll
tell me what language ‘fiddle-de-dee’ is, I’ll tell you the French for
it!” she exclaimed triumphantly.

But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly, and said “Queens
never make bargains.”

“I wish Queens never asked questions,” Alice thought to herself.

“Don’t let us quarrel,” the White Queen said in an anxious tone. “What
is the cause of lightning?”

“The cause of lightning,” Alice said very decidedly, for she felt quite
certain about this, “is the thunder—no, no!” she hastily corrected
herself. “I meant the other way.”

“It’s too late to correct it,” said the Red Queen: “when you’ve once
said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences.”

“Which reminds me—” the White Queen said, looking down and nervously
clasping and unclasping her hands, “we had _such_ a thunderstorm last
Tuesday—I mean one of the last set of Tuesdays, you know.”

Alice was puzzled. “In _our_ country,” she remarked, “there’s only one
day at a time.”

The Red Queen said, “That’s a poor thin way of doing things. Now
_here_, we mostly have days and nights two or three at a time, and
sometimes in the winter we take as many as five nights together—for
warmth, you know.”

“Are five nights warmer than one night, then?” Alice ventured to ask.

“Five times as warm, of course.”

“But they should be five times as _cold_, by the same rule—”

“Just so!” cried the Red Queen. “Five times as warm, _and_ five times
as cold—just as I’m five times as rich as you are, _and_ five times as
clever!”

Alice sighed and gave it up. “It’s exactly like a riddle with no
answer!” she thought.

“Humpty Dumpty saw it too,” the White Queen went on in a low voice,
more as if she were talking to herself. “He came to the door with a
corkscrew in his hand—”

“What did he want?” said the Red Queen.

“He said he _would_ come in,” the White Queen went on, “because he was
looking for a hippopotamus. Now, as it happened, there wasn’t such a
thing in the house, that morning.”

“Is there generally?” Alice asked in an astonished tone.

“Well, only on Thursdays,” said the Queen.

“I know what he came for,” said Alice: “he wanted to punish the fish,
because—”

Here the White Queen began again. “It was _such_ a thunderstorm, you
can’t think!” (“She _never_ could, you know,” said the Red Queen.) “And
part of the roof came off, and ever so much thunder got in—and it went
rolling round the room in great lumps—and knocking over the tables and
things—till I was so frightened, I couldn’t remember my own name!”

Alice thought to herself, “I never should _try_ to remember my name in
the middle of an accident! Where would be the use of it?” but she did
not say this aloud, for fear of hurting the poor Queen’s feeling.

“Your Majesty must excuse her,” the Red Queen said to Alice, taking one
of the White Queen’s hands in her own, and gently stroking it: “she
means well, but she can’t help saying foolish things, as a general
rule.”

The White Queen looked timidly at Alice, who felt she _ought_ to say
something kind, but really couldn’t think of anything at the moment.

“She never was really well brought up,” the Red Queen went on: “but
it’s amazing how good-tempered she is! Pat her on the head, and see how
pleased she’ll be!” But this was more than Alice had courage to do.

“A little kindness—and putting her hair in papers—would do wonders with
her—”

The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and laid her head on Alice’s
shoulder. “I _am_ so sleepy!” she moaned.

“She’s tired, poor thing!” said the Red Queen. “Smooth her hair—lend
her your nightcap—and sing her a soothing lullaby.”

“I haven’t got a nightcap with me,” said Alice, as she tried to obey
the first direction: “and I don’t know any soothing lullabies.”

“I must do it myself, then,” said the Red Queen, and she began:

“Hush-a-by lady, in Alice’s lap!
Till the feast’s ready, we’ve time for a nap:
When the feast’s over, we’ll go to the ball—
Red Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all!

“And now you know the words,” she added, as she put her head down on
Alice’s other shoulder, “just sing it through to _me_. I’m getting
sleepy, too.” In another moment both Queens were fast asleep, and
snoring loud.

“What _am_ I to do?” exclaimed Alice, looking about in great
perplexity, as first one round head, and then the other, rolled down
from her shoulder, and lay like a heavy lump in her lap. “I don’t think
it _ever_ happened before, that any one had to take care of two Queens
asleep at once! No, not in all the History of England—it couldn’t, you
know, because there never was more than one Queen at a time. Do wake
up, you heavy things!” she went on in an impatient tone; but there was
no answer but a gentle snoring.

The snoring got more distinct every minute, and sounded more like a
tune: at last she could even make out the words, and she listened so
eagerly that, when the two great heads vanished from her lap, she
hardly missed them.

She was standing before an arched doorway over which were the words
QUEEN ALICE in large letters, and on each side of the arch there was a
bell-handle; one was marked “Visitors’ Bell,” and the other “Servants’
Bell.”

“I’ll wait till the song’s over,” thought Alice, “and then I’ll
ring—the—_which_ bell must I ring?” she went on, very much puzzled by
the names. “I’m not a visitor, and I’m not a servant. There _ought_ to
be one marked ‘Queen,’ you know—”

Just then the door opened a little way, and a creature with a long beak
put its head out for a moment and said “No admittance till the week
after next!” and shut the door again with a bang.

Alice knocked and rang in vain for a long time, but at last, a very old
Frog, who was sitting under a tree, got up and hobbled slowly towards
her: he was dressed in bright yellow, and had enormous boots on.

“What is it, now?” the Frog said in a deep hoarse whisper.

Alice turned round, ready to find fault with anybody. “Where’s the
servant whose business it is to answer the door?” she began angrily.

“Which door?” said the Frog.

Alice almost stamped with irritation at the slow drawl in which he
spoke. “_This_ door, of course!”

The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for a minute: then
he went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb, as if he were trying
whether the paint would come off; then he looked at Alice.

“To answer the door?” he said. “What’s it been asking of?” He was so
hoarse that Alice could scarcely hear him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said.

“I talks English, doesn’t I?” the Frog went on. “Or are you deaf? What
did it ask you?”

“Nothing!” Alice said impatiently. “I’ve been knocking at it!”

“Shouldn’t do that—shouldn’t do that—” the Frog muttered. “Vexes it,
you know.” Then he went up and gave the door a kick with one of his
great feet. “You let _it_ alone,” he panted out, as he hobbled back to
his tree, “and it’ll let _you_ alone, you know.”

At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill voice was heard
singing:

“To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said,
‘I’ve a sceptre in hand, I’ve a crown on my head;
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be,
Come and dine with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me.’”

And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus:

“Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran:
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea—
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three!”

Then followed a confused noise of cheering, and Alice thought to
herself, “Thirty times three makes ninety. I wonder if any one’s
counting?” In a minute there was silence again, and the same shrill
voice sang another verse;

“‘O Looking-Glass creatures,’ quoth Alice, ‘draw near!
’Tis an honour to see me, a favour to hear:
’Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea
Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me!’”

Then came the chorus again:—

“Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink,
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink:
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine—
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine!”

“Ninety times nine!” Alice repeated in despair, “Oh, that’ll never be
done! I’d better go in at once—” and there was a dead silence the
moment she appeared.

Alice glanced nervously along the table, as she walked up the large
hall, and noticed that there were about fifty guests, of all kinds:
some were animals, some birds, and there were even a few flowers among
them. “I’m glad they’ve come without waiting to be asked,” she thought:
“I should never have known who were the right people to invite!”

There were three chairs at the head of the table; the Red and White
Queens had already taken two of them, but the middle one was empty.
Alice sat down in it, rather uncomfortable in the silence, and longing
for some one to speak.

At last the Red Queen began. “You’ve missed the soup and fish,” she
said. “Put on the joint!” And the waiters set a leg of mutton before
Alice, who looked at it rather anxiously, as she had never had to carve
a joint before.

“You look a little shy; let me introduce you to that leg of mutton,”
said the Red Queen. “Alice—Mutton; Mutton—Alice.” The leg of mutton got
up in the dish and made a little bow to Alice; and Alice returned the
bow, not knowing whether to be frightened or amused.

“May I give you a slice?” she said, taking up the knife and fork, and
looking from one Queen to the other.

“Certainly not,” the Red Queen said, very decidedly: “it isn’t
etiquette to cut any one you’ve been introduced to. Remove the joint!”
And the waiters carried it off, and brought a large plum-pudding in its
place.

“I won’t be introduced to the pudding, please,” Alice said rather
hastily, “or we shall get no dinner at all. May I give you some?”

But the Red Queen looked sulky, and growled “Pudding—Alice;
Alice—Pudding. Remove the pudding!” and the waiters took it away so
quickly that Alice couldn’t return its bow.

However, she didn’t see why the Red Queen should be the only one to
give orders, so, as an experiment, she called out “Waiter! Bring back
the pudding!” and there it was again in a moment like a
conjuring-trick. It was so large that she couldn’t help feeling a
_little_ shy with it, as she had been with the mutton; however, she
conquered her shyness by a great effort and cut a slice and handed it
to the Red Queen.

“What impertinence!” said the Pudding. “I wonder how you’d like it, if
I were to cut a slice out of _you_, you creature!”

It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice hadn’t a word to
say in reply: she could only sit and look at it and gasp.

“Make a remark,” said the Red Queen: “it’s ridiculous to leave all the
conversation to the pudding!”

“Do you know, I’ve had such a quantity of poetry repeated to me
to-day,” Alice began, a little frightened at finding that, the moment
she opened her lips, there was dead silence, and all eyes were fixed
upon her; “and it’s a very curious thing, I think—every poem was about
fishes in some way. Do you know why they’re so fond of fishes, all
about here?”

She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer was a little wide of the mark.
“As to fishes,” she said, very slowly and solemnly, putting her mouth
close to Alice’s ear, “her White Majesty knows a lovely riddle—all in
poetry—all about fishes. Shall she repeat it?”

“Her Red Majesty’s very kind to mention it,” the White Queen murmured
into Alice’s other ear, in a voice like the cooing of a pigeon. “It
would be _such_ a treat! May I?”

“Please do,” Alice said very politely.

The White Queen laughed with delight, and stroked Alice’s cheek. Then
she began:

“‘First, the fish must be caught.’
That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught it.
‘Next, the fish must be bought.’
That is easy: a penny, I think, would have bought it.

‘Now cook me the fish!’
That is easy, and will not take more than a minute.
‘Let it lie in a dish!’
That is easy, because it already is in it.

‘Bring it here! Let me sup!’
It is easy to set such a dish on the table.
‘Take the dish-cover up!’
Ah, that is so hard that I fear I’m unable!

For it holds it like glue—
Holds the lid to the dish, while it lies in the middle:
Which is easiest to do,
Un-dish-cover the fish, or dishcover the riddle?”

“Take a minute to think about it, and then guess,” said the Red Queen.
“Meanwhile, we’ll drink your health—Queen Alice’s health!” she screamed
at the top of her voice, and all the guests began drinking it directly,
and very queerly they managed it: some of them put their glasses upon
their heads like extinguishers, and drank all that trickled down their
faces—others upset the decanters, and drank the wine as it ran off the
edges of the table—and three of them (who looked like kangaroos)
scrambled into the dish of roast mutton, and began eagerly lapping up
the gravy, “just like pigs in a trough!” thought Alice.

“You ought to return thanks in a neat speech,” the Red Queen said,
frowning at Alice as she spoke.

“We must support you, you know,” the White Queen whispered, as Alice
got up to do it, very obediently, but a little frightened.

“Thank you very much,” she whispered in reply, “but I can do quite well
without.”

“That wouldn’t be at all the thing,” the Red Queen said very decidedly:
so Alice tried to submit to it with a good grace.

(“And they _did_ push so!” she said afterwards, when she was telling
her sister the history of the feast. “You would have thought they
wanted to squeeze me flat!”)

In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her place while she
made her speech: the two Queens pushed her so, one on each side, that
they nearly lifted her up into the air: “I rise to return thanks—”
Alice began: and she really _did_ rise as she spoke, several inches;
but she got hold of the edge of the table, and managed to pull herself
down again.

“Take care of yourself!” screamed the White Queen, seizing Alice’s hair
with both her hands. “Something’s going to happen!”

And then (as Alice afterwards described it) all sorts of things
happened in a moment. The candles all grew up to the ceiling, looking
something like a bed of rushes with fireworks at the top. As to the
bottles, they each took a pair of plates, which they hastily fitted on
as wings, and so, with forks for legs, went fluttering about in all
directions: “and very like birds they look,” Alice thought to herself,
as well as she could in the dreadful confusion that was beginning.

At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her side, and turned to see
what was the matter with the White Queen; but, instead of the Queen,
there was the leg of mutton sitting in the chair. “Here I am!” cried a
voice from the soup tureen, and Alice turned again, just in time to see
the Queen’s broad good-natured face grinning at her for a moment over
the edge of the tureen, before she disappeared into the soup.

There was not a moment to be lost. Already several of the guests were
lying down in the dishes, and the soup ladle was walking up the table
towards Alice’s chair, and beckoning to her impatiently to get out of
its way.

“I can’t stand this any longer!” she cried as she jumped up and seized
the table-cloth with both hands: one good pull, and plates, dishes,
guests, and candles came crashing down together in a heap on the floor.

“And as for _you_,” she went on, turning fiercely upon the Red Queen,
whom she considered as the cause of all the mischief—but the Queen was
no longer at her side—she had suddenly dwindled down to the size of a
little doll, and was now on the table, merrily running round and round
after her own shawl, which was trailing behind her.

At any other time, Alice would have felt surprised at this, but she was
far too much excited to be surprised at anything _now_. “As for _you_,”
she repeated, catching hold of the little creature in the very act of
jumping over a bottle which had just lighted upon the table, “I’ll
shake you into a kitten, that I will!”

CHAPTER X.
Shaking

She took her off the table as she spoke, and shook her backwards and
forwards with all her might.

The Red Queen made no resistance whatever; only her face grew very
small, and her eyes got large and green: and still, as Alice went on
shaking her, she kept on growing shorter—and fatter—and softer—and
rounder—and—

CHAPTER XI.
Waking

—and it really _was_ a kitten, after all.

CHAPTER XII.
Which Dreamed it?

“Your majesty shouldn’t purr so loud,” Alice said, rubbing her eyes,
and addressing the kitten, respectfully, yet with some severity. “You
woke me out of oh! such a nice dream! And you’ve been along with me,
Kitty—all through the Looking-Glass world. Did you know it, dear?”

It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the
remark) that, whatever you say to them, they _always_ purr. “If they
would only purr for ‘yes’ and mew for ‘no,’ or any rule of that sort,”
she had said, “so that one could keep up a conversation! But how _can_
you talk with a person if they always say the same thing?”

On this occasion the kitten only purred: and it was impossible to guess
whether it meant “yes” or “no.”

So Alice hunted among the chessmen on the table till she had found the
Red Queen: then she went down on her knees on the hearth-rug, and put
the kitten and the Queen to look at each other. “Now, Kitty!” she
cried, clapping her hands triumphantly. “Confess that was what you
turned into!”

(“But it wouldn’t look at it,” she said, when she was explaining the
thing afterwards to her sister: “it turned away its head, and pretended
not to see it: but it looked a _little_ ashamed of itself, so I think
it _must_ have been the Red Queen.”)

“Sit up a little more stiffly, dear!” Alice cried with a merry laugh.
“And curtsey while you’re thinking what to—what to purr. It saves time,
remember!” And she caught it up and gave it one little kiss, “just in
honour of having been a Red Queen.”

“Snowdrop, my pet!” she went on, looking over her shoulder at the White
Kitten, which was still patiently undergoing its toilet, “when _will_
Dinah have finished with your White Majesty, I wonder? That must be the
reason you were so untidy in my dream—Dinah! do you know that you’re
scrubbing a White Queen? Really, it’s most disrespectful of you!

“And what did _Dinah_ turn to, I wonder?” she prattled on, as she
settled comfortably down, with one elbow in the rug, and her chin in
her hand, to watch the kittens. “Tell me, Dinah, did you turn to Humpty
Dumpty? I _think_ you did—however, you’d better not mention it to your
friends just yet, for I’m not sure.

“By the way, Kitty, if only you’d been really with me in my dream,
there was one thing you _would_ have enjoyed—I had such a quantity of
poetry said to me, all about fishes! To-morrow morning you shall have a
real treat. All the time you’re eating your breakfast, I’ll repeat ‘The
Walrus and the Carpenter’ to you; and then you can make believe it’s
oysters, dear!

“Now, Kitty, let’s consider who it was that dreamed it all. This is a
serious question, my dear, and you should _not_ go on licking your paw
like that—as if Dinah hadn’t washed you this morning! You see, Kitty,
it _must_ have been either me or the Red King. He was part of my dream,
of course—but then I was part of his dream, too! _Was_ it the Red King,
Kitty? You were his wife, my dear, so you ought to know—Oh, Kitty, _do_
help to settle it! I’m sure your paw can wait!” But the provoking
kitten only began on the other paw, and pretended it hadn’t heard the
question.

Which do _you_ think it was?

A boat beneath a sunny sky,
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July—

Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear—

Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die.
Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream—
Lingering in the golden gleam—
Life, what is it but a dream?

THE END